I have never felt this impacted by a movie in my life—my in-depth reflection of Your Name (Kimi no na wa)
It Was Fate I Came Across This
I watched Your Name (Kimi no na wa) for the first time about a week ago and I realized I had never felt anything like that before. I am still obsessed over it a week later and feel more invested in that world than my own. I didn't want to lose this feeling. I even put off watching anything else for that week.
I did watch this during a low point in my life. I've been quite depressed, social life fell apart, and took the next semester off from college. I also had never really watched much anime outside of Miyazaki before coming across this. Put all of those together and this film literally came at just the right time, with just the right story to destroy me. Almost like fate! I don't know how to describe this, but nothing I have watched prior to this has impacted me this much before. I have never cried while watching a movie. I am generally very good at hiding my emotions. But this... It felt almost ethereal, even days later. I still cannot figure out exactly why. I really wanted to figure out why. I rewatched the movie a second time.
Replaying the Kataware Doki scene and every time it's like my heart is going to melt. I can see the raw emotion on Mitsuha's face, her tears, the scratches on her skin... All of that determination, that struggle to find Taki unsure if she will ever find him, the realization that she had died, her deepest regrets... All just comes to a boiling point and explodes in that moment. Watching it, I just want her to be happy. I needed her to be okay. I think this was the first time I had cried in years.
What Mitsuha Meant To Taki
When I rewatched the part where it was revealed Mitsuha was dead, I realized why I cared so much about her character. Mitsuha and Taki have never met before, their bond is not driven by any sort of logic, yet it still develops without any sort of interaction at all. It's interesting for a love story because they resonate with each other from experiencing the things that are unspoken; observed. You come to realize that Taki's determination to save Mitsuha at this point isn't because he wants her for himself, but because he grew to love her life, her friends, and family. He sees what she has been through, her struggles with identity and family, her loss, but most importantly how much her life is worth to her loved ones and her community. He and only he knows how truly strong Mitsuha really is.
Even though Taki has a decent life and never wanted to be in this situation to begin with, by the end he is willing to sacrifice everything to save her even if he thought he knows he might not see her ever again. This is why he writes “I love you” on her hand instead of his name. He feels he doesn't matter at this point, he just need that one last chance to tell Mitsuha what her life meant to him.
What The Film Meant To Me
I think I subconsciously related this to my own life. How my childhood is over and I won't be able to see my old friends again. How I won't be able to experience being a teen again. Those days free of worry and responsibility are over. I have had no one I could really talk to for years now, no one I felt real close with, no one I can say I truly care for or cares about me. I have felt aimless and uncertain about my future. College is a strange place. I understand Taki’s actions now. I think I would sacrifice my life for someone like Mitsuha. Despite seemingly being a “nobody” from the goonies, despite her imperfections, mundane daily activities, and dissatisfaction with her life—she has a purpose, she has people who care about her, her life matters to the people around her. She deserves to live. If I could save a life like that, I think I would have fulfilled mine.
This feeling of heartache and emptiness also comes from a sort of longing, I suppose, not just the fact that I will likely never share such a strong connection with someone that it feels like we were destined for each other, but also that I will never experience what Mitsuha/Taki did. Sounds cringe, but I cannot help but wish it would happen to me. My social skills were never all that good and I missed out on teenage love or having any close bonds with people. I think my true deepest desire is to find a true connection with someone (even just platonic), something I had never really experienced. I just want to give Mitsuha/Taki a hug and tell them how much they mean to me.
I know this film is years old (I am full of regret not seeing it sooner), but it is one of the most beautiful pieces of art I have ever witnessed. Everything from the gorgeously drawn art of the animations, down to the characters you grow so attached to. You can overlook all of the plot holes because the experience just strikes you at your very core as a human being, at least for me. It is probably one of the few movies that I would rate a 10/10.
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