SMS -> Lovrenc
Lovrenc: Go fuck yourself.
Jesper: No creo que decir ese tipo de cosas a un prĂncipe de Dinamarca sea muy astuto.
Jesper: đ€
Jesper: No me lo digas, ÂżtĂș tambiĂ©n eres de los que me tienen manĂa?
Sweet Seals For You, Always

oozey mess
Not today Justin
Keni

#extradirty
The Stonewall Inn

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
đ
$LAYYYTER
Noah Kahan

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PR's Tumblrdome
cherry valley forever

shark vs the universe
almost home
noise dept.

Kiana Khansmith

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romaâ
Cosmic Funnies
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@jespyen-blog
SMS -> Lovrenc
Lovrenc: Go fuck yourself.
Jesper: No creo que decir ese tipo de cosas a un prĂncipe de Dinamarca sea muy astuto.
Jesper: đ€
Jesper: No me lo digas, ÂżtĂș tambiĂ©n eres de los que me tienen manĂa?
more texts for you bitches
lotusink:
ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [museâs name] whatâs the deal, pretty sure this is youâŠlisten if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please donât walk away. [text] Please donât do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] Iâm an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change ⊠Iâm always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And youâll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is Iâm not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] Iâm seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] Youâre so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE
LOVING TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Did I tell you today that youâre the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] Iâm only saying it because I love you. [text] Iâm only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, Iâm bringing coffee. [text] Iâm thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] Youâre always safe with me. [text] I canât stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously donât know what Iâd do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please donât forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You donât need this shit. [text] Iâll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] Youâre important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. Youâre going to drown and die and leave me and Iâm not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] Iâd give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. Thatâs love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] If you donât want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, youâre a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] Youâre so predictable and obnoxious. And itâs not only me who thinks so. [text] âŠThe least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] Youâre a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you canât even pretend like it isnât, because you know it is. [text] Why couldnât you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I donât light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day
SEXY TEXTS, BITCH
[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hotâŠlike honestly, itâs not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If youâre not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I donât think he likes that Iâm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] Itâll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didnât know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. Thatâs a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DONâT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH
[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] Iâm eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, whatâs your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, youâre one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesnât realize it, itâs their loss [drunk text] but whatâs the point of a Disney sing off party if youâre not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOUâRE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please donât hate me Iâm too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when Iâm drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think Iâm dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE
Prince Jesper Larse Thygesen of Denmark at the âIce Breaker Partyâ in Denmark
sarkisians:
â Al parecer hoy no hace tanto frĂo como otros dĂas ÂżNo? â dijo la chica para romper el hielo mientras miraba en su telĂ©fono mĂłvil la temperatura en Dinamarca, donde el frĂo la estaba haciendo pasar una mala racha con el vestido que llevaba, por lo que habĂa tomado prestado un abrigo de alguna persona muy generosa â ÂżSabes que podrĂamos hacer? He oĂdo hablar en muchos sitios que hacen una especie de âritualâ cuando empieza el año que consiste en tirarte a la piscina con ropa â dijo a la persona que se encontraba a su lado, con un tono alegre y encantador â Podemos intentarlo, y si los primero lo hacen mal siempre podemos hacer trampas y tirarnos en la piscina interna ÂżNo? â
SoltĂł una risa por lo bajo al oĂr hablar a la joven del frĂo en Dinamarca. âY aĂșn no has visto cuando verdaderamente hace frĂo. CreĂ©me cuando te digo que esto no es nada. Esperemos que tĂș y todos podĂĄis acostumbraros âcontestĂł esbozando una mueca que podĂa catalogarse de egocĂ©ntrica al estar ya acostumbrado al clima en Dinamarca. âNo creo que hoy haya alguien autorizado para hacer eso. Ni si quiera yo, pequeña âcanturreĂł las Ășltimas palabras. Dado el frĂo que hacĂa y el evento que aĂșn seguĂa en marcha, podrĂa recibir una gran reprimenda por parte de sus padres. Lo harĂa en otras circunstancias, pero ya le habĂan advertido sobre las reglas que debĂa seguir aquel dĂa para dar una buena imagen.
kaleen-a:
Ya habĂa perdido la cuenta de cuĂĄntas veces habĂa pasado el camarero por donde ella se encontaraba sentada; pero a esta altura ni le importaba porque al final terminĂł quebrantando su promesa de estar completamente sobria durante la fiesta. Observando su copa de champagne, sintiĂł un suave golpe en el hombro. Era el mismo camarero con la misma bandeja repleta de distintos tragos, desde Manhattans hasta Piña Coladas. Con una sonrisa divertida, negĂł con la cabeza varias veces. âUh no no no noâ entregĂł su copa vacĂa y parpadeĂł lentamente dejando que el efecto de la bebida alcohĂłlica fluya. âSi bebo algo mĂĄs toda esta preciosa velada serĂĄ un real desastreâ señalĂł haciendo cĂrculos, refiriĂ©ndose al lujoso salĂłn y soltĂł una gran carcajada por su juego de palabras. SiguiĂł apuntando con su dedo hacia las otras personas que estaban cerca suyo. âÂĄTĂș! ÂżQuieres algo? Yo invito, no te preocupesâ al tratarse de un evento la princesa polaca no se priva de bromear aunque sĂłlo a ella le de gracia.
Una amplia sonrisa no tardĂł en acudir a las comisuras del danĂ©s. Ya iban unas dos copas de champagne que Ă©l recordara, y por supuesto no se privarĂa de negarse a la oferta tan atractiva que la rubia le hacĂa. âÂżEstĂĄs segura de que quieres invitarme? âla diversiĂłn tiñó su tono de voz, quizĂĄs queriendo comprobar si era verdad lo que la fĂ©mina le ofrecĂa, mas podĂa apostar por un sĂ. âTe agradecerĂa mucho si me invitaras a un whiskey. Nunca es suficiente para mĂ âla fiesta era mucho mĂĄs tranquila a las que el prĂncipe acostumbraba a asistir. Aun asĂ, no perdĂa la oportunidad para animarse Ă©l mismo aunque fuera lo mĂĄs aburrido del mundo. Presentarse ante tanta gente no era su fuerte, y muchas veces su educaciĂłn y compromiso desaparecĂan.
stjezala:
Labios carmesĂ delineados a la perfecciĂłn, esbeltos dedos enredados en los ĂĄureos mechones que adornaban sus facciones croatas. âÂżHuh? Me perdĂ.â interrumpiĂł el discurso del contrario, curva ladina bosquejĂĄndose en sus pĂ©talos, revelando sus verdaderas intenciones, poner a prueba su paciencia. El alcohol habĂa perdido su encanto y la castaña deseaba entretenerse con algo.
Al escuchar las palabras femeninas, enarcĂł una ceja y la moviĂł varias veces arriba y abajo. âÂżCĂłmo has podido perderte en este salĂłn? âcuestionĂł, a pesar de que ya conocĂa las intenciones contrarias delatadas por su expresiĂłn. Una sonrisa blanca se posĂł en sus comisuras, resaltando el encanto que muchos aseguraban que poseĂa. âSin duda tengo mĂĄs suerte que tĂș. Mi casa es algo que conozco como la palma de mi mano âsus sonrisa adiquiriĂł un tinte orgulloso antes de darle un trago a su copa y meter su mano en el bolsillo del pantalĂłn.
âI grew up on a farm where we had one radio station and it was all country.â