CAMPBELL, JESSE

ID #: 146399 To get to sleep, I count antlers, not sheep.

[jessehunts]

Jesse Campbell Part 1/#

[jackson-albridge]

You look like a dumbass either way.

[jessehunts]

I always do, bruh.

[remi-devereux-deactivated201408]

Uh, kinda creepy.

[jessehunts]

Super sorry 'bout that, kiddo. I need to work on making that... the opposite of creepy.

[cinxwavell]

Absolutely creepy. Don’t do it again.

[jessehunts]

I was going for sexy. Shoot. I need to work on that. Do I need to smolder more or...

[notmaxine]

Like you’re… closing only one eye? I’d call it a successful wink.

[jessehunts]

Fantastic. I used to do the winking thing to... flirt, but that never went well because I was closing both eyes and it did not look sexy.

[arthurxsampson]

Excuse me,

[arthurxsampson]

If my towel were still here, that wouldn’t be the case.

Are you just going to continue gawking, or can you lend me a hand.

-figuratively.

[jessehunts]

I'm not gawking. I don't gawk.

I can lend you a hand... towel. There aren't any full sized towels nearby. I'm gonna look... for the towels. Yeah.

[jessehunts]

Alright, so, I've never been able to wink without closing both eyes. So, tell me, how does this look?

[damndeanoru]

[askjldfhaksjldfaskjdf]

Shit...

Don’t fucking sneak up on people like that.

[jessehunts]

Oh f--fishsticks! Can you not point that at my face, please? This is a very nice face.

[arthurxsampson]

Excuse me,

I don’t suppose you’d happen to have a towel? It appears mine has gone missing.

[jessehunts]

..........

Hey whoah there. You're... naked.

[filthyvalor-blog]

"Are you seriously suggesting that you believe you could make a trip of this magnitude? Yeah - ok.."

[jessehunts]

Uh... yeah...? I think you'd be surprised at what I can handle.

[nurse-moore]

I'm sorry, I was just..... Can I help you?

[nurse-moore]

Probably. Next time you’re out hunting, you should go find me some q-tips.

Ooooh, I almost didn’t catch that one. That was good.

You are the cutest little thing, you know? You don’t fit that whole…big hunter stereotype that I’ve got in my head.

[jessehunts]

Alligator jerky, Oreos, and q-tips. Gotcha.

Ssssh. I'm just a guy who happens to hunt and is seriously awesome at it.

[smoaknvictory]

[nurse-moore]

I'm sorry, I was just..... Can I help you?

[nurse-moore]

Oh no, I heard you crystal clear, mister.

How did we get on dry erase boards? Is this the start of another joke? Oooh, good one. But I think I liked the knock knock one better.

[jessehunts]

Nah. You probably got alotta gunk in your ears.

I wish I had more knock knock jokes. I just stick with puns. You can't explain puns to kleptomaniacs though... they take everything too literally.

[mama-fiona]

Then I’m your girl.

[jessehunts]

Sweet. We're gonna kick a whole lotta ass.

[avdcn-blog]

Oh, no.

[avdcn-blog]

I guess pirates are just glorified thieves.

Are you focusing on my extremely serious wound? Or ninjas?

[jessehunts]

Wataah.

Exactly.

I was distracting you, silly.

[avdcn-blog]

Oh, no.

[avdcn-blog]

Okay, okay. Ninjas. Jeez. Blame it on the blood loss, okay?

Why ninjas? I don’t understand. How is this such a crucial decision?

[jessehunts]

Because ninjas can punch you from an inch away and make you fall. Because ninjas can do one fingered pushups. Because ninjas can switch coins in your hand before you can even close it. Because ninjas can separate your shoulder with a very mild slap. Because ninjas.