Jessers

The name is Jessica. Just figuring out lifeTwitter- Jessica7xxx Instagram- http://instagram.com/jessers834

[jessica7xxx]

Pour a drink darling

You know it only numbs, never solves

But you feel nothing...so you keep pouring

Will you ever stop pouring?

You pour

Numb

Music all the way up

Because life is a prion

And death is a door

But you’re not ready to open the door

So you pour and pour

What happens when there’s nothing left to pour?

You’re left alone reaching for something

You see it clearly

Reaching. Grasping.

Buts it’s just smoke

You’re still left empty handed

Now what?

[uaegnomanat-blog]

i hope you find a view you can bare looking at for more than a few seconds

i went to parties with you and the only thing i cared about was our party of two. you loved the photos of us attending significantly more than the moment. on a plane with you, your face was still my favorite view. you said thank you for the ticket, but couldn’t look past me out the window fast enough. of course you were there to create “memories”, but i think the satisfaction of telling others those stories was more to you. you told me all your secrets because you knew i wouldn’t tell a soul but i was just practice for my replacements.

the second it all ran dry, so did you. but i should’ve known you were looking over my shoulder every time you held me in your arms for something that benefitted you more. my bad, really.

[uaegnomanat-blog]

you don’t even have to say sorry anymore

you could tell me you’re gonna lie to my face and then do it and i’d still want to believe you were telling the truth. you could shatter my soul and come back to me with half of the pieces in your hands and a smile and i’d grow a new one about instantly. you could ignore me for seven days and on the eighth text me “hi”; the pain of the last week would be washed away by the waves of joy from a simple hello. you could murder me in cold blood but i’d probably thank you from the other side cause i always wanted to follow you as a ghost.

i cant blame you for hurting me when i let you. i can’t accuse you of breaking in, because i’m giving you the key.

[uaegnomanat-blog]

:’)

go ahead, smile, even if it isn’t because of me. i’ll still smile- because you’re smiling.

[uaegnomanat-blog]

forever

i don’t think a reality exists where i’m not in love with you.

i don’t think it ever will.

i think i’m meant to live the rest of my life, cripplingly in love with you.

knowing, that wherever i end up, and whoever it’s with- i would drop it all to run home to you.

[jessica7xxx]

What do you do when you don’t know what’s fiction and what’s reality anymore?

Where do you go?

What...or who....do you believe?

Mind over matter?

You want it so bad, you just sweep it under the rug..

Out of sight, out of mind....right?

Then why do you keep peeking under the rug?

What are you expecting to find?

That it was all made up? It was all a dream?

[aww-so-pretty]

Meet Loki the Wolfdog and his friends.

[jessica7xxx]

What do you do when you feel so lost? You head out to the biggest city you can find. Maybe you’ll blend in and no one will notice the lack of expression on your face. Maybe you fly to the other side of the country to forget everything for a while. You hide behind filters, and expensive hair. Along with a fake smile. But it’s the eyes. They eyes always give it away. So you wear giant sunglasses, hoping people can’t see through them. But your laugh is different. Your smile isn’t so big and genuine anymore. You hang your head a little lower, while trying to build others up.

What

Do

You

Do

When

You

Feel

So

Lost

[brittanyfurlan]

Stop worrying about where you stand in life and start noticing where you’re standing.

[brittanyfurlan]

I may not always know what I want, I probably don’t know what I need, but I know I am here and that’s worth something in itself.

[brittanyfurlan]

Bite your tongue snake woman, this wizardly witch is on her final pour.

[brittanyfurlan]

We could plant a house, we could build a tree, she said…- Nirvana

[brittanyfurlan]

BORED.AS.FUCK. (BAF)

[brittanyfurlan]

I can’t use agendas; there is no room to dance between those lines.

[brittanyfurlan]

Social Media & Dating

Today I’m going to talk about relationships, and the social media age and how it’s affecting so many relationships.

I dated a guy before Tommy who was addicted to stalking girls on social media. While he was dating me (and supposedly only me) he messaged tons of other girls on Instagram, using his “status” to try to get them to meet up with him. One time I caught him messaging a girl on Twitter when I activated his old phone. How did I get to that point? (I’ll get there) Was that right? Probably not, but after you’ve been through it so many times (as I had at that point) and you start to get that suspicious feeling, you kind of have to itch the scratch, even if you know it’s gonna hurt. I wish that one time that I checked his stuff, I never found anything, but every time I looked, there was something. It was awful. It made me feel not good enough for anyone, unlovable…it made me feel a sadness within myself that I’ve never felt before. Why wasn’t I enough? It took me a VERY long time to realize that it was his problem, not mine. After talking with other exes of his I found out this was just a pattern. But the damage was done. I became an insecure girl.

See, before that relationship I had never been cheated on, never been hurt; never dated someone who would hurt me. So it was such a shock to me to go through this. To become that insecure girl who had to check up on her boyfriend. It all started with me seeing what girls he was following. There were some “Instagram models” but I let that go. I let that go until one day I saw his dms. And saw he was messaging so many of them, blatantly hitting on them. I lost myself. I became this crazy, insecure, broken woman. I didn’t get why he didn’t just dump me? Security I suppose? If there are any guys out there reading this, and you’re doing that shit to a girl right now, just do her a favor and break up with her. No girl needs to deal with that.

Now I’m only sharing that because I want to tell you how great my relationship is now, and how most relationships should be in this day and age if they want to survive this social media influenced world.

So here’s what we do- When I first started dating Tommy, obviously I was worried because he had this “bad boy” reputation. Everyone told me a guy like him would break my heart. So I went into the relationship very cautiously. I was worried about other girls, I was already scathed from my previous relationship and didn’t trust any guy. I would see girls text him, but he was very open about it. He told me straight out in the beginning that he was seeing other people. I understood because we had just met. Then after a week or so he decided he just wanted to see me. I told him everything I had been through before and that I couldn’t go through that again. And then he did something amazing, he took my thumb, and put it on his phone and said, “you can look at my phone whenever you want to. I will never hurt you.” I was like, what? Who is this guy? No guy would ever do this. So for the first few weeks, I saw a bunch of stuff from girls still trying to hang on, and we would laugh about it together. He showed and shared everything with me. And then eventually I just stopped checking. He made me feel so secure, and so safe, and so loved, that there is no need for me to look at anything. And honestly, I think that kind of trust is what will make you survive this social media age. If a guy has nothing to hide, he should have no problem with you looking at his phone whenever. It shouldn’t be a big deal. You should be able to pick up his phone just as you would pick up your phone. It’s just a stupid device. If there’s no secrets between you two then it shouldn’t be a problem.

Now, as for the issue girls have about their boyfriends, or husbands following a bunch of Instagram models, here’s what I have to say- I don’t think it’s appropriate for a guy to follow a girl or girls he doesn’t know that post a bunch of scantily clad images if he’s in a relationship. It’s just not cool. Because you’re clearly only looking at that page to get your jollies off, and you should be doing that with your significant other. I’m not saying to never look at another beautiful girl again, because that’s not possible, it’s human nature to observe beauty, but you should have respect for the person that you’re dating, and you should be liking them and their posts and not need this outer attraction. Also, if you want to get your jollies off, do it privately with porn or something. There’s no need to hurt people.

If you’re single guy, do whatever you want, but if you bring someone into your life, and you want to have a relationship with them, respect them. A Girl is like a flower in a field; if you’re going to pick it, then you need to take it home, put it in a vase, water it, admire it and take care of it. You don’t pick a flower out of the field, and then take it home and throw it on the counter to die.

And that’s my two cents…hopefully it makes change…

On another note: I wanted to talk to you guys and ask what you’d like to see most of on this blog? I’ll kind of post about everything but is there anything in particular you’d like to see or need advice with?

Let me know!

Stay golden pony girl ❤️

Brittany

[brittanyfurlan]

Foundations for a lasting relationship

OK, Let’s be honest here- Every time one of us gets into a relationship, we think that this is gonna be it or so we hope. But usually after a few months or even a few weeks or maybe even a few days, we start to see little red flags. Maybe a random outburst here or there, or agitation at little things, etc. But we tend to ignore them because we want the relationship to work. Then later on these little red flags start to become giant red flags like those inflatable dummies at car washes and you simply can’t ignore them. The flags start to get in the way and become fights and before you know it, the relationship is over.

So how does one form a relationship that stands the test of time? Am I the right person to ask? Most people might be reading this and think not. But I’ve been in several long-term relationships, and I saw when things were going wrong, I knew when things weren’t right when I was in them, and I’ve learned what to look out for along the way.

Also, you need to realize it’s not all on you; it takes two to tango. Being in a relationship is showing up to this thing with your game faces on and being prepared to fight to the death for one another and if you’re not willing to do that then it’s not gonna work. So, with that said, here is what I’ve learned over the years, and what I’m implementing into my current relationship.

My advice for a long lasting healthy relationship:

1. COMMUNICATION

Communication seems like it will be such an easy thing for people to do. Expressing how you feel however, seems to be so hard for people. Communicating how you feel in a relationship is so vital to the success of the relationship. When people start to hold things in and keep secrets is when things start to go awry. You need to express to your partner how you feel and vice versa. Check in with one another daily. See how the other person is doing/coping. Hear one another out. It’s the main key to the success of any relationship.

2. NOT GOING TO BED ANGRY (TOMMY TAUGHT ME THIS ONE)

Letting your partner go to bed angry is pretty much guaranteeing you’ll both wake up in a bad mood. I’m not saying force them to make up with you before you go to sleep, but you need to try to end the night in peace. Even if you’re in the middle of a huge fight, you need to look at one another before you go to sleep and say, “I love you and we’ll get through this. Right now I’m upset but we’ll figure it out. I love you. Goodnight”.

3. NO NAME CALLING

Sometimes in the heat of the moment people get so angry and say awful things to one another that they can never take back. Telling someone to “go fuck themselves”, or that they’re “stupid” or a “slut” or “whore”, any of those horrible words taint the relationship. Those words stick with people and are hard to forget. For instance: If you throw a plate on the ground and say sorry to it, the plate is still broken, it doesn’t fix it. If you find yourself in a situation where you want to say awful things to your partner instead say, “I’m going to go for a walk. I will be back. I love you” and remove yourself from the situation. Go for a walk. Blow off some steam. It’s better to remove yourself than to say some things you will come to regret.

4. CUDDLE/KISS/BE INTIMATE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

I get that after the honeymoon faze wears off people don’t feel as eager to constantly be all over one another. But it’s so important to be sensual with your partner. Even if it’s as little as a butt pinch or a hug throughout the day. These actions are little reminders to your partner of the love that’s there. You’d be surprised how much it’ll bring your wife joy if you give her a random kiss on the cheek or ladies if you give your man a random bear hug (or blow job). There was a couple that had been madly in Love for over 60 years interviewed on the news and the news reporter asked, “What’s the secret to your long-lasting love?” And the couple said, “We have sex everyday. Even if we aren’t in the mood. It keeps the love alive”. A little food for thought….

5. EAT DINNER TOGETHER

I know some people work jobs that don’t allow them to eat dinner together, but I think as often as you can you should try to. Have dinner together, put the phones away, turn the TVs off, and talk about your day. Hear one another. It’s even more fun if you can cook dinner together.

6. HAVE DATE NIGHTS

Do you ever feel like you spend all your time working or with the children, and you’re not spending any time with your partner alone? You and your partner need to dedicate some time every week or so just to the relationship. Whether it be a trip to the movies or a nice dinner, you both need a break from the hustle bustle of daily life to have some time to enjoy the love you have. I say, dedicate one night a week as a “date night”, and make that night just for you two. Call a babysitter, leave the extra work for tomorrow, because it’s date night.

7. DON’T BRING BAD DAYS HOME WITH YOU

Everyone struggles at some point in their lives. Some people constantly struggle. Whatever it is, try not to bring the outside world home with you. Home is a sacred place. Home is where you go to get away from the noise of the outside world and get to enjoy your family. If something is bothering you at work, leave it at the door before you come in. Try as hard as you can to not make work problems personal problems. Even if the two kind of go hand-in-hand. Your relationship and your love and your family should not be involved with work issues. Your family is your sanctity.

I hope these help you in your relationships. Remember, face everything in your life with love and peace and you can’t go wrong. If you find yourself angry or upset remove yourself and find time to cool off. It’s not worth tainting your relationship with some spur of the moment feelings.

I wish you all health, happiness and long lasting relationships!

Love,

Brittany

[brittanyfurlan]

What you deserve

I find so often that women (especially friends of mine) will be in these very toxic relationships and yet feel so stuck and so in “love” with these people who are truly only hurting them.

I have been in a toxic relationship before and I know it’s hard to see your way out of it. Everyone told me how bad it was but I thought I loved the person and that they would change. I am here to remind you of what you deserve and if you aren’t getting those things, then you need to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move on.

What you deserve:

1. You deserve to be loved

Properly and unabashedly. Someone who tells you at least a few times a week that they love you, if not every day. Someone who makes gestures of love, whether it’s remembering little things you said, or the way you like your coffee or breakfast in bed. Love is a verb not a noun. If someone’s not SHOWING you they love you, then they probably don’t.

2. You deserve to be cared for

Whether emotionally or physically, you should be with someone who takes care of you in times of need. Whether it’s bringing you soup when you’re sick or comforting you through hard times. Your partner should be someone who is there for you when you need them.

3. You deserve to be respected

I’ve seen girls stay with guys who treat them like utter trash and it’s insane. They flirt with other girls, cheat on them, lie to them constantly and still these girls take them back. This is not respect and this is not love. I know it hurts but fool me once shame on you, fool me 75 times after that…girl wtf are you thinking?

4. You deserve to be able to you

I see girls with guys who tell them what to wear, who to be friends with, who they can and cannot talk to you. This is ridiculous. A person should be free to express who they are and be friends with who they want and if someone has a problem with that then Buh bye! 👋🏼

5. You deserve peace

People stay in these relationships where they’re constantly arguing or bickering with their partner. This isn’t healthy and this certainly isn’t the best use of your time on this precious planet. You deserve peace. You deserve to be with someone who brings out the best in you… not the worst.

6. You deserve to not settle

A lot of people get married and then end up getting divorced because they compromised on things that they ended up not being so happy with in the end. I’ve seen people get married and say things like, “Well, he is argumentative but no one’s ever treated me so well”. Or “She’s the best I’m going to get”. You’re settling. Don’t settle. I understand no one is going to be perfect but if there are significant things that make you unhappy then you need to know your worth and move on.

7. You deserve to be worshipped

I’m not saying he has to throw petals of flowers on the ground as you walk, but for the first time in my life I’m in a relationship where I am worshipped. And it’s an incredible feeling. He values me, he respects me, and he makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. On days when I feel ugly, or insecure, he reassures me how beautiful he thinks I am and how in love with me he is. And I think EVERY woman deserves to feel that worship.

8. You deserve to be treated

I know these girls who work their asses off while their boyfriends chill at home. The boyfriends never take them to dinner, don’t ever surprise them or show their gratitude. You deserve fun dates and to be treated. And not all dates have to cost money! He could pack a lunch and take you to the park for a picnic. You deserve to be treated like a queen.

9. You deserve balance

One person should not be making all of the effort in a relationship. Both people should come to the relationship with mutual effort and mutual love. I know there will be days where it feels like one person loves the other person more, but it shouldn’t be like that all the time. Both parties are responsible for showing up and putting in their best foot forward to make things lovely for the two of you.

10. You deserve happiness

If you aren’t happy then what else can I say? If you find yourself crying more than laughing, frowning more than smiling and fighting more than loving then maybe this isn’t the right situation for you. Actually I’m not going to sugar coat it, it’s not the right situation for you. You deserve happiness. We are only on this earth for a brief time and you deserve to spend that time with someone who brings you joy. Know your worth!!!!

I hope this list helps you to see what you deserve in life. And yes there are caveats: You can’t treat your partner like complete shit and expect to be worshipped in return. You both have to do your best to make things nice and warm and lovely.

With that said, if you are in a relationship where you aren’t being treated well, I’m sending you all my love and encouragement to move on. I know it’s hard and I know you think you’re never going to love anyone else but I PROMISE you will. I promise you won’t hurt forever and I promise when you find that right person, they will hug all of your broken pieces back together.

Stay strong warrior princess ✊🏼❤️

-Brittany Furlan