Short Story: What did you do last night?
Daylight streamed through a gap in the faded yellow curtains, falling across my face and making me shudder. My head ached like nothing I had ever experienced before and my mouth tasted like smoke and stale alcohol. The clock on the opposite wall read 8.30 in the morning. I shuddered, rubbing my eyes and peering around the dingy room that I had woken up in. It all looked disturbingly unfamiliar.
I was lying under a worn-out quilt on a cracked leather sofa. Looking up, I could see my canvas shoes hanging from the lampshade on the ceiling. My jacket had been thrown on the floor with the empty beer cans and cigarette butts, like litter. A boy that looked about my age was spread-eagled on the other side of the room, face down and snoring, his dark hair sticking up at dodgy right angles.
I took a deep breath, lowering myself off the sofa and picking my way across the stained carpet towards the boy.
“Hello?” I reached down and nudged him. The boy grunted. I nudged him again.
“Hey you… wake up!” I said. My voice sounded dry and croaky. I swallowed and bit my lip. Eventually he rolled over, peering up at me with bloodshot eyes. I stared at him, desperately trying to remember him, recognise his face. Nothing came. The boy grinned at me. “Hi Cassie.”
I hesitated, missing a beat. “Who are you?”
He laughed. “I’m Andy. Remember? I met you last night at that club.”
“I… don’t remember anything.” I shook my head.
Andy rolled his eyes. “You had a lot to drink last night.”
“I don’t know. You were knocking it back though, like tap water. You put me to shame, that’s for sure.” He paused, still grinning. “It did the trick though.”
I looked at him with wide eyes. I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out, running my fingers through my hair and taking a deep breath of stale air. A message was flashing on the screen. 9 missed calls.
“What?” Andy looked up at me, pulling a cigarette from his pocket and lighting up. I frowned as the room filled with smoke.
“Oh god. Did something happen last night?” I said sharply, snapping my phone shut and staring at Andy.
Andy sniggered. “You really don’t remember, do you?”
I could feel the blood beginning to drain from my head. “For god’s sake, just tell me.”
Andy grinned and took another drag on his cigarette. The smoke swirled upwards. I felt sick, faint, dizzy.
I heard Andy laugh. “Well, you were off your face. You kept going on about your boyfriend… what was he called? Rodger?”
I nodded, suddenly terrified.
“Yeah. Well anyway, you were talking about how he cheated on you or something. I mean, I felt sorry for you. So… you know.”
I froze. The obvious hit me. I felt as though I’d been whacked around the head with a spade.
“Cassie… what’s up baby?”
I stumbled backwards, head spinning. “Don’t call me baby,” I said through gritted teeth.
Andy frowned, sitting up. “But what about last night? What about you and me?”
I shook my head, backing out of the room.
“Cassie, wait…” Andy said, climbing to his feet and grabbing my shoulders. “You can’t just disappear. I need you, ok?”
“Need me?” I repeated. “You don’t even know me.”
“But I want to know you.”
I rolled my eyes, reaching up and removing his fingers from my shoulders. “The only thing that I need from you,” I said slowly, “Is to tell me where the hell I am.”
I could see Andy faltering. I watched his hands fall to his sides.
“You’re on 10 Grange Road, just outside of town. Bus route 45 should get you back to the university.”
“Thanks,” I said, snatching my shoes down from the lampshade and bending to pick up my coat.
“Don’t mention it,” Andy muttered, turning away from me and face-planting onto the sofa. I took a deep breath, sliding my shoes onto my feet and stumbling outside. I was greeted by concrete grey sky, crumbling terraced houses and plastic shopping bags blowing around in the gutter. I swallowed, trying to push away the uneasy feeling that was sitting in the bottom of my stomach.
I could feel everybody watching me as I got onto the bus. I sat down at the back, hiding behind my bird’s nest hair and wrapping my arms around my legs. A little old lady blinked at me and shook her head. I scowled and looked down, feigning interest in the floor.
The house was quiet when I got back. I wandered through into the kitchen, sitting down at the table with a cup of hot blackcurrant and a packet of stale bourbons. I pulled out my phone, flicking through the messages that I had received last night.
Cassie! It’s Emily. Where are you? You literally just disappeared. Did you go back to the house? Please don’t do anything stupid. You can be such an idiot sometimes.
Hey Cassie, it’s Rodger. I’ve messed up, Ok? I know you’re not going to believe me right now, but it was a mistake. I didn’t mean to do it. Please, Cassie. Just come back and we’ll talk about it.
Cassie, this is Charlie. Where the hell are you? We’ve looked everywhere for you. We’re really worried. Rodger is freaking out.
The kitchen door suddenly swung open and my friend Emily appeared in her rainbow striped pyjamas. She looked at me, her eyes huge.
“Cassie?” Emily bit her lip. “You look… awful.”
“I’m aware of that,” I muttered, taking a mouthful of blackcurrant.
“You stayed out the whole night, didn’t you?”
I swallowed, trying to find the words. “Emily,” I mumbled. “I think that I did something terrible. But I can’t remember why.”
Emily helped herself to a bourbon and sat down next to me. She frowned. “These biscuits are about a week out of date.”
I closed my eyes, not wanting to hear.
“Cassie, what is it? What did you do last night?”
I struggled. My mouth was dry and my stomach felt as though it had been tied into a haphazard knot. “Emily…” I said slowly. “Did Rodger cheat on me last night?”
Emily frowned. “No! Well…”
“Kind of. Maybe...” Emily stuttered, shaking her head. “But… it was a mistake. He didn’t mean to.”
I felt my whole body stiffen. The knot in my stomach pulled tighter.
“A mistake?” I rolled my eyes. “Are you serious?”
Emily nodded. “This girl came up to him. He was drunk. He thought she was you…”
I shut my eyes. “Emily, I don’t want to hear this.”
“Cassie, nothing happened!” Emily said. “It didn’t happen because you pulled her off him, yelled abuse at them both and then ran out.”
I opened my eyes sharply.
Emily hesitated. “What happened, Cassie? After you left?”
I shook my head, exasperated. “All I know is that I woke up this morning in some random guy’s house. And… and that I slept with him last night.”
Emily stared at me. “You slept with him?”
I nodded. “I guess it makes sense now.” I looked over at Emily. I could feel the tears brimming, spilling down my cheeks. “Emily, am I the worst person in the world?”
“No. You were drunk. You weren’t exactly in control of your emotions.” Emily patted my shoulder, sympathetically. “Plus, you’d completely got the wrong end of the stick.”
I sniffed. “I can’t tell Rodger.”
Emily glanced at me. “Are you sure? Don’t you think…”
I shook my head. “I’m positive.”
And for two whole weeks, that is what I did. Life went back to normal. I stopped holding my breath, stopped constantly looking round corners, stopped feeling guilty. I let my guard down. As far as I was concerned, Emily was the only other person that knew. I guess I’d forgotten about Andy. I guess I wasn’t expecting him to turn up one day, just standing there outside my lecture room, like a creepy statue of impending doom.
I froze when I saw him. “Crap.”
Rodger blinked at me, bemused. “Cassie? Are you ok?”
I shuddered. “I… I think I left something in the lecture room…” I gabbled, turning on my heel and darting back inside.
“Cassie?” Rodger called after me. I could see everyone staring at me. Rodger poked his head round the door to see me cowering at the back of the room. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” I stuttered. “I’m… fine.”
Rodger raised an eyebrow. “Really? I mean, you don’t look fine.”
I took a deep breath, eyes wide and beads of sweat dripping down my neck. “Just go, Rodger. I’ll catch up.”
Rodger looked at me. “Well, as long as you’re ok…”
I forced a smile as Rodger turned to leave. The door slammed shut.
I waited, watching, feeling vaguely sick. It wasn’t long before Andy was pushing the door open, his dark grey eyes fixed on me. I swallowed.
“Cassie!” Andy shouted at me. His hair was dishevelled and he had dark circles under his eyes.
I stood up, teeth clenched. “Andy, what the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?”
Andy took a step towards me. “I had to see you. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re driving me crazy.”
“This is insane. I have a boyfriend,” I said, backing away.
Andy laughed, harshly. “You mean Rodger? The boy that cheated on you?”
“He did not cheat on me. It was a misunderstanding.”
“Then you cheated on him?”
“That was a huge mistake.”
“Well, I don’t believe that.” Andy lurched over to me, backing me up against the wall. “You can’t just push me away, Cassie.”
I scowled. I could feel his breath on my cheek. He smelled of cheap booze and cigarettes. “I can just push you away,” I argued. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want you!”
I heard the door bang. Rodger was standing there, Emily in tow.
“Rodger…?” I said, startled.
Andy turned, grinning. “So, you’re Cassie’s boyfriend?” he asked Rodger.
I shuddered, feeling faint.
“Cassie, who the hell is this guy?” Rodger asked.
“He’s nobody. Nobody at all,” I stuttered.
Andy laughed at Rodger. “No. I’m just the guy that your girlfriend screwed the other night. No big deal.” He took hold of my shoulders, slamming me into the wall and barging past Rodger and Emily. I heard Emily scream. I fell forwards, my head throbbing, winded.
I remember Emily running up to me and grabbing my hand, her face pink and panic stricken. I remember Rodger, standing over me, staring down as though I were a bug that he could so easily squash under his foot. He looked so angry; yet so sad, lost.
“Rodger,” I groaned, fighting to breath. “Rodger, I’m so, so sorry. It was… a mistake. I thought…”
Rodger closed his eyes, taking a breath. “I know what you thought,” he stared at me. “But you didn’t tell me. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I closed my eyes, tears streaming. My breath was coming in sharp, painful gasps.
“She… didn’t tell anyone,” I heard Emily say, “except for me. I was the only one that knew.”
“And that makes it better?” I heard Rodger say, cruelly. “She’s my girlfriend. And she couldn’t even be honest with me. How do you think that looks?”
“She was scared. Scared of what you might think. Scared that you’d leave her.”
Rodger breathed in, eyes narrowed. I looked up at him, through blurry eyes.
It’s strange, how one tiny misunderstanding can affect your life in such a big way. I never saw Andy again after that day, yet he managed to cause so much damage in such a small amount of time. Rumours spread like wild fire and most of my friends turned their backs on me. Labels were plastered onto me like wallpaper; labels of the worst kind.
I took to burying myself in my room, in a helpless attempt to shut out the world and everyone in it. Yet Emily was still there for me. And, given time, Rodger forgave me for what happened and how I handled the situation. He appeared at my door the following week, bearing cuppa-soup and sandwiches, by way of a peace-offering.
Alcohol has a way of screwing you over; messing with your head, making you do things that you would never usually do under normal circumstances. And getting drunk to the point where you have no idea what you did the night before may seem like the most incredible idea in the world. But believe me when I say it’s not.
I guess I learnt that lesson the hard way.
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