#getting fired

[temporalreverie]

I dream too much of something immaculate freeing me from this torture but I have to make the changes myself....

[silent-voices-elder-advocacy]

They came with a box. I did not need it. I already saw it coming. A personal essay on patterns, nutty bars, and walking out without looking back. Link in bio. #PersonalEssay #SilentVoices #AllAboutMe #itisnottheenditisjustanewstart #ElderCareAdvocate

I Did Not Need the Box

[dnschmidt]

That Time I Got Fired For Not Being A Wizard

My coworkers were talking about weird reasons people had gotten fired, which reminded me of the time I got fired for not being a wizard.

Many years ago, I got a job giving a ten-year-old kid some magic lessons. On the very first lesson, I went through how to do a simple card trick. I explained how you had to say you were doing one thing while actually doing something else.

The kid was crushed, like he had just discovered Santa wasn’t real and store Santas all hate Christmas but love kicking puppies. "You mean… you have to lie??"

"Yeah," I said. "Magic is an entirely lie-based performance art."

He ran off to tell his mom, and she got furious and fired me. That was it. No more lessons. Apparently neither of them knew that magic tricks involved, you know, tricking people.

Sorry magic isn’t real, guys!

[bitchesgetriches]

Hey bitches!

I was laid off a few days ago :(

They offered me 30 days severance but I think (in my very limited legal knowledge) that they violated the WARN Act and so I would be entitled to 60 days pay. But there are a few exemptions that they could probably claim and snake out of any liability.

My question is should I push for more severance? Not aggressive but maybe just claim to think that I'm entitled to more under the WARN act. Or should I just keep quiet and take what they offered, lest they rescind my severance

Hey kiddo! As it happens, we just wrote a complete guide to severance. There you shall find the answers that you seek!

What’s a Severance Package? And Should I Always Accept It?

Did we just help you out? Say thanks by joining our Patreon!

[bitchesgetriches]

I'm probably about to be fired from my first ever big girl job and I don't have a lot of recent or relevant references to fall back on. What do I do?

Welcome to the fold, sister. I promise it's going to be ok.

First off, read my story of the time I got fired:

I Lost My Job and It Might Be the Best Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me 

Next, you need to apply for unemployment insurance as quickly as possible. Here's our guide for that:

Dafuq Is Unemployment Insurance and How Do I Apply for It? 

Our article on severance might not apply to your situation, but it has a little useful advice for getting fired anyway:

What’s a Severance Package? And Should I Always Accept It? 

After that's done... take a moment to breathe. You've just been through something really stressful and you deserve a little time to recover from that experience. Process your emotions, rest your body and your mind... and then decide what you're going to do next. To that end, here's our master list of advice on getting a new job:

MASTERPOST: Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion

Did we just help you out? Say thanks by joining our Patreon!

[doodlesontheshowerdoor]

Do yall think my employer checks my tumblr account???

[bitchesgetriches]

Re: getting ambushed with a layoff and escorted out by hr like they’re the bomb squad or something. I’m not hr but I am white collar office job and a lot of the standardized employee education videos make a really big deal about insider threats ie employees with access to fuck everything up royally either on purpose or on accident. My take just based on how paranoid the security types seem about that is they don’t want someone who’s pissed about getting fired logging on with network access and destroying stuff or stealing company secrets on the way out. Like it feels like an overreaction, but if what hr is worried about is someone with tons of access who no longer cares what bridges they burn, then yeah making sure people can’t fuck around on their work laptop or in the building does make some twisted sense even if it was chill for them to do so literally 5 minutes ago.

Oh that's absolutely the case. I'm sure there have been incidents of embittered recently fired employees planting metaphorical bombs in the system in the past. And no company wants to deal with that more than once.

Still, it feels super disrespectful. When I was fired, they remotely shut down my laptop 5 minutes after the Zoom meeting. Couldn't even turn it on after that.

More on getting fired and severance:

I Lost My Job and It Might Be the Best Worst Thing That’s Ever Happened to Me 

What’s a Severance Package? And Should I Always Accept It? 

Did we just help you out? Say thanks by joining our Patreon!