The Word Shaker

|| A Twenty something's stream of consciousness and catalog of random thoughts || Reader, writer, & lover of Life ||

[jesuistabby]

I often wonder how stars feel about forever when even after their life is over, they continue to shine.

T.T.

[jesuistabby]

Despite my loss and despite my pain, no one or nothing will ever take away my ability to love. My love is fire and it’ll keep illuminating no matter how much it burns.

T.T.

[jesuistabby]

Making sure you don’t lose yourself when you lose the person you love is a breakup all in itself.

TT

[jesuistabby]

My soul cracked as you left

Each footstep driving the nail deeper in my chest

I could barely catch my breath.

I shut all the doors and layed on the floor

And I prayed the air to stay

So I could breathe in your remains

I wanted to remember your scent

But I knew i’d only carry pain instead.

TT

[jesuistabby]

Day 4: Dog Park with some co-workers for our pups birthdays ♥️ Would have been better had I not left the house mad after an argument with Brian for not coming with me. He never wants to do anything 🙄 but Aria had fun and that’s all that matters, even if she’s muddy as hell.

[jesuistabby]

Day 2: It rained all day. I had one of my employees break down about depression to me and I’m really worried about him. I always feel sad and hopeless myself until I have to deal with people who are going through it— then suddenly I become a shiny positive force. Why can’t I conjure that up for myself? My dogs make me happy, so even when it’s gloomy, I turn to them. This is Nana, between my legs, draped under the kimono I wore to work today. I love the intricate skull detail.

[tabathaashley]

I just want to lay outside beneath the stars and scream, then cry. Maybe then I’ll be okay, once I’ve vocalized my pain.

[jesuistabby]

Documenting my 29th year.

Day 1: Today was a cute day. Love these flowers from the boo and I received this Gemini constellation necklace from my dear work wife. I got to work and my computer, keyboard, and mouse were gift wrapped, there were balloons all over my desk with streamer. I feel loved today. ♊️💗

[smoothens]

[jesuistabby]

The older I get, the more I feel the sadness of the world. 

I used to be someone who barely cried, but these days, everything feels like a struggle. I’m incapable of listening, watching, seeing the world without seeing the sadness in it. The kind of sadness that feels like you’re drowning.

My life is alright. But the world isn’t. The world is weeping, and so am I.

[jesuistabby]

If heaven was a plate

[jesuistabby]

Blue line blues

[jesuistabby]

Sometimes I just stand at the tip of the ocean and stare out into the abyss. Water laps my toes, and in that moment my anxieties and fears are washed away with the rhythm of the tides. My mind is a clutter of strange fears and inhibitions, but when I come to the sea, I’m free. I’m as open as the deep marine, full of wonder and life. So much ahead of me, so much force in my movement, why can’t I always feel this empowered?

TT

[jesuistabby]

The cold air stung my face as the wind swept up my hair.

The bitterness watered my eyes, but still I smiled.

With every howl of the air, I felt the wind wrap around me

& I thought of him.

I thought of our cold winter walks.

I thought of his warm hands in mine.

I thought of his booming laugh and how It made his breath visibly rise.

I reminisced on our lips,

&how they moved together like a song.

And how worst of all,

with the coming of the spring,

like winter he was gone.