[thehappyrealityproject]

Affirmation: I am open to the possibility that things will turn out much better than I imagine.

[jezawitha-z]

Goal ko lang naman mag draft ng vow ko. Pero bakit umiiyak na ako ng umiiyak. Hahaha. Wala pa beh. Pero sige buhos mo na para sa mismong araw, hindi na iiyak.

[jezawitha-z]

This is it! Ilang araw nalang, counting down to 'I do' 💕

This was our pre-wedding shoot, and ofcourse DIY din. Hahahaha As someone na camera shy and introvert, napag sunduan namin na kaming dalawa nalang mag picture with the help of tripod, bluetooth shutter and android phone lang. This is to save my energy as well dahil feeling ko mauubos talaga social battery ko if may photographer pa na do this do that. HAHAHA

We're not aiming for a perfect celebration tho, we just want it to be solemn so we decided to DIY almost everything and prepared a straight-forward wedding program sa reception.

But these pre-wedding jitters are no joke and I still have a week to go to work. Nag file lang ako ng leave for 2 weeks. Tapang. Medyo drained na rin sa work dahil sobrang daming adjustments and additional workloads. Tapos kagabi I heard some suggestions na what if daw magdadag kami ng pabitbit for principal sponsors gaya nung binyag ng inattendan namin. I appreciate the suggestion but I honestly said to them na wala na po budget for that.

So kagabi, iniisip ko yung mga unsolicited opinions nila sa side ko at sa kanya na di ko na iisa-isahin but I'm still glad na yung partner ko panig sa side ko kaysa sa side nila kahit parents nya pa ang mag suggest ng ganto ganyan. He always uplift me once napapraning or nappressure na naman sa mga bagay bagay and would really stick to our initial plan, and he would say like "ano naman kung may sasabihin sila, di naman sila ang gumagastos at di nila to kasal. Tsaka maiintindihan din nila yan."

Mairaos din to. :)

[jezawitha-z]

[jezawitha-z]

sneak peek huhu 🥹 💓

[jezawitha-z]

Jesa (with a Z) naging school idol ka naba for someone?

For nth times, no.

[jezawitha-z]

Kapag talaga umuuwi ako dito sa Mabalacat, lagi akong pagod. Walang kapahingahan. Andaming kailangan gawin. Minsan di ko naman kayang hayaan lang dahil ayoko ng makalat. Pero yung energy ko naman di na kaya. Pagod kana sa work, pagod ka pa sa gawaing bahay. Lord, sana buhusan nyo po ng kasipagan kapatid ko. Pagod na rin talaga ako mangaral. Di ko alam ano pa pwede kong gawin. Na parang feel ko ako nalang lahat. Nakakapagod pero kailangan kumilos kahit pagod.

Konte nalang din. Makaalis na rin ako dito.

[jezawitha-z]

May pa baon si meyooooor. 😆 Busog kana, kinilig ka pa. Hahahaha.

Since I wasn't able to be with them sa bday ni mama nya, pinanghatid nya nalang ako ng food. The extra effort na bumyahe para lang mai-abot sakin sa work. Apat na potahe. Madaming kanin. Likeee beh kargador ba ako kumain?! 😆

But glad I didn't settle for less.

[jezawitha-z]

Iba talaga ang ngiti kapag sya ang kasama. 🌸

And I realized, di naman pala ako mahirap mahalin at pasayahin.

[jezawitha-z]

sundate ~

[jezawitha-z]

can't remember when was the last time i edited/customized my tumblr theme. i don't even know if this is still a thing now. lol

basta naalala ko lang kung gaano ako kaadik mag palit palit/edit ng theme noon with music player pa hahaha. high school palang gustong gusto ko na mag codes, well basic codings lang naman ang keri kaya pinursue ko din mag I.T nung college pero di rin kinaya. hahaha

[jezawitha-z]

Our humble home 😇

Minsan lang nakakabisita. Pa unti-unti may gamit na. Naka cover muna yung sofa para di masyado maalikabukan if ever. Pero tsaka na kami lilipat after we get married.

I really love the space that we have. Lalo na as someone like me na super ayaw makakita ng kalat and want to maintain the cleanliness, this is really perf. Para mabilis lang i-maintain, mabilis malinis, maorganize.

[jezawitha-z]

It's really more manageable now that I have A in my life. Kapag may problema, he always makes me feel na hindi na ako nag-iisa, na may katuwang na ako sa buhay dahil andyan na sya. I always say na I couldn't ask for more talaga. Ang panganay pala talaga ay para sa bunso. Charinggg. Hahahaha

[jezawitha-z]

Ito yung time na superduper stress talaga ako tapos 1st day pa ng mens cycle ko. Cravings malala. Fishcake, fried kimbap. Tapos kesho para balance, no sugar drinks tas may snickers na matamis naman. After nun, nag rice meal pa. Wow.

[jezawitha-z]

Planning to write down my thoughts again through Tumblr from now on. Kasi naka deactivate fb ko. Hahahaha. Sana consistent, pero feel ko on and off parin. Ito nalang talaga nag sisilbing journal ko eh. Online journal.

Parang dumadagdag nalang kasi sa anxiety ko ang facebook. Napapansin ko na doom scrolling na madalas kong gawin. Di na productive. Tapos di ko din naman ma express sarili ko dahil ayaw ko naman mag post ng something na andun mga family, friends, coworkers.

I started to write again. Yung binigay ni A na notebook last year na nanghihinayang akong gamitin, ginamit ko na din at last.

This week ay too much na talaga, yung comedy movie ko pinapanood ko dapat, humagulgol ako ng iyak before sleeping. Di ko alam kung due to hormones lang or talagang sobra na yung stress level due to many factors.

Maybe i just need some vacation. Masyado na akong workaholic. Nakaka burnout.

[jezawitha-z]

happy valentine's ~ 🌻

It's been a tough week due to work loads, deadlines, out of our job role descriptions work, dagdagan pa ng stress sa kapatid.

He always wanted me to smile. Sinundo sa work, na dapat mag halfday pa sya sa work nya to sort some things/event. Pero gumawa ng paraan para he can still spend time with me. Ang lalaking walang kasawaan maghatid sundo. Yung taong ayaw na ayaw ako mag commute hanggat kaya nya, kahit pagod pa. Siguro dahil din sa parents nya na ganun, na ayaw din ako as much as possible na mag commute ako kapag bumibisita sa kanila or kapag uuwi na.

Such an extraordinary date today. We spent time with their fam. Since bday rin ni mama nya in 3 days. Picnic ang peg. Nakasama pa namin pamangkin nya na hiniram muna namin at nagbike.

This flower reminded me: never stop growing 🌸Kahit gaano pa ka pagod. Malalanta pero magbbloom parin, fresh start ulit.

[allofthehousethatstood]

seriously considering hiring someone to help in the house kasi wtf, I'm on night shift tas somehow ako pa rin sa chores like laundry + hugas plates + cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for everyone na hindi night shift???

oa talaga ng mothering expectations pag eldest daughter tangina.