Jian🦀

he/him

[jianurl]

hi js call me jian

i js read stuff on here not sure how people interact…

he/him, INFP

if i post smth probably gonna be random

feel free to interact, i need to learn how to socialize

i dont like using # and if i do idk what tags

[jianurl]

finding motivation to do the percy x male reader fix 😭😭😭

[jianurl]

okay js ranted about leviticus but i lowk have a plot for a percy x reader college au fic (p.s. i am not in college yet so idk how it works)

the fandom is DEADDD but this is stuck in my head

and sm1 pls tell me this is a decent plot

[jianurl]

Leviticus cut deep

the scary thing is, there are real people that look at this film and gloss over the message.

Growing up in a conservative and christian environment, I genuinely know some people who won’t see the bullshit or nonsense in the actions of the churchgoers and wtv nightmare fuel the deliverance healer was.

The movie didn’t feel like fiction, just an exaggerated parody of what people are dealing with now.

building on that, the emotions i felt while watching seemed too real; the plot and setting may be hyperbolised, but to a queer person it might as well not be.

its 3am i have more thoughts but im too lazy to think or polish my thoughts

a/n: i may have ranted too much sorry yall… im so sad i couldn’t watch during pride month. this is js a quick review since i couldnt stop thinking about it since i watched it approximately 13h ago….

and just a reminder these are my thoughts about the film!! there can be other interpretations or takeaways, but this is just what i conjured up

[jianurl]

i love the scene where naim’s mom gives him pizza and says she removed the olives. only a parent can know your likes and dislikes but not relate to how you feel

on a different note her giving it to him after absolutely destroying his life is crazy

[jianurl]

ive genuinely never felt more seen by a film since eeaao

[jianurl]

i wanna start writing but how tf do people come up w the plots..

[007chan]

ROOMMATES YJW

that awkward moment where everyone thinks you're dating your roommate...that awkward moment when he thinks that too.

roommate!jungwon x gn reader

HAIIII GAIS ^^ i genuinely can't believe i got cortis tickets so as a celebration heres some wonie love 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 i need him so badly Please email me Mister Yang. also plz ignore spelling mistakes. im js a boy.

likes and reblogs are appreciated !

m.list

main taglist is open !

tags: @sunooluuvr @niyzu @secretvivii @reikaxslvr @ddeonutt @wonieskies @sunghoonzzzz @lov3lyaaru @wensurr @steddie-steddie @ilovhoonie @wonnieeluvvr @thatfeelingwhenn @aloveminsalade @sonnofsonder @jaesvoid @dociea @wonsvisuals @juwonsicle @s0ul1nyah @nahyuckers @erehkinnie30 @thatfeelingwhenn @qiangwei-knowsbest @foreveronez @js-a-silly-little-guy @sungguinzs @strawberristhings

[lilislegacy]

the concept of percy and annabeth watching a marine life documentary together and annabeth is sobbing because the narrator is discussing climate change effects while sad music plays and percy is giggling because the octopus and shark have been calling each other sea slurs in almost all the footage

[yawnzbf]

💌 wrong room

bestfriend's boyfriend's flatmate! beomgyu x reader

You had never thought that you'd be breaking into your bestfriend's boyfriend's room in your twenties just to set up the mood for your friend— jia and her long distance boyfriend minhyuk. But here you were standing in his apartment, in his room. That's what you thought because this very much so wasn't his room.

tw kissing strangers on the first meet (it's okay cuz it's beoms), making out in a closet, suggestive themes, privacy invasion,, lmk if I missed out on smth [1.7k wc]

you double-checked the apartment number on your phone for the fifth time. 307. this was it. your best friend, jia, had been stressing for weeks about surprising her long-distance boyfriend, minhyuk, for their one-year anniversary. she was stuck at a last-minute work thing, so you, being the world’s greatest friend, had volunteered to go ahead, decorate his room, and get your phone ready to film his priceless reaction.

the key was under the mat, just like she said. you slipped inside the surprisingly neat apartment, kicked off your shoes, and tiptoed down the hallway. your heart was pounding with excitement. you replayed jia's instructions in your head: "his room is the second door on the right. you can't miss it."

second door on the right. got it.

you counted. first door on the right. second door on the right. you paused, hand on the door handle. this was it. you pushed it open and found a clean, somewhat minimalist room with a bed against the far wall and a guitar propped up in the corner. perfect.

an hour later, you stood back, proud of your handiwork. balloons, fairy lights, a banner that read "happy anniversary, babe!", and rose petals scattered on the bed. you dimmed the bedside lamp to a soft, romantic glow. your phone was propped up against a stack of books on the dresser, camera pointed at the door. all you had to do was wait.

and wait you did. fifteen minutes turned into thirty. you were about to text jia when you heard it—the front door opening, the jingle of keys, the soft thud of the door closing.

finally.

a jolt of pure adrenaline shot through you. but where was jia? she was supposed to be here before him! panic bubbled for a second before you shoved it down. maybe she was right behind him. you just had to do the thing.

you took a deep breath, finger hovering over the 'record' button on your phone. you heard footsteps, slow and deliberate, approaching the door. the handle turned.

the door swung open.

and your jaw literally dropped.

this was not minhyuk.

this man was… a problem. that's for sure. a tall, lean wolf in the body of an angel. raven hair fell artfully over his sharp, intelligent eyes hidden behind his thick black-rimmed glasses. he was still in what looked like a stylish, slightly rumpled work shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing veined hands and lean forearms.

he blinked at the balloons. then at the fairy lights. then at the rose petals. then at you, crouched awkwardly behind your phone.

"…did i leave my door unlocked again?" he asked, his voice a low, melodic drawl that was way deeper than it had any right to be.

you scrambled to your feet, face burning hotter than the sun. "oh my god. oh, god. you're not minhyuk."

his bewildered expression melted into a slow, devastating smirk. he leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest. "no. i'm beomgyu. the significantly cooler flatmate. and you are?"

"the world's biggest idiot," you groaned, hiding your face in your hands. "jia had asked me to decorate minhyuk's room— my friend. it's a surprise. she told me the second door on the right… but i think i went into the second door on the left instead."

beomgyu glanced over his shoulder into the hallway, then back at you. he pressed his lips together, but his eyes were dancing with laughter. "yeah. yeah, you did. my room is the second on the left. his is the second on the right." he let out a low whistle. "you really went all out. for the wrong guy."

you wanted to dissolve into the floor. "i'm so sorry. i'll clean everything up. i'll—"

"no, no," he interrupted, stepping further into the room. he trailed a finger over the 'happy anniversary, babe!' banner, his smirk growing. "so all of this… the mood lighting, the rose petals… you did all this for minhyuk ?"

"for jia," you corrected, mortified. "i was going to film it. it was supposed to be cute."

he slowly turned to look at you, his gaze a little too intense, a little too amused. "and instead, you filmed me walking into my own room like a confused toddler, i can't wait to see the footage." he nodded towards your still-recording phone. "you're still on, by the way."

"oh!" you lunged for the phone and fumbled to stop the recording, your fingers clumsy with embarrassment.

while you were flustered, beomgyu picked up a single rose petal from his pillow and twirled it between his fingers. "so," he said, his voice a soft murmur. "you go through all this trouble for your friend; break into a stranger's apartment and even decorate a random man's bedroom with fairy lights." he looked up from under his lashes, that dangerously cute smile back in place. "you're either crazy, or the most thoughtful person i've ever met. i'm hoping for the latter."

your heart stuttered. "i'm… just a good friend."

"lucky friends," he commented, taking a step closer. "so, how are we going to fix this, 'world's biggest idiot'? minhyuk could be home any minute."

that snapped you back to reality. "oh god, right. jia! she'll be here too. i have to re-do everything in his room, oh god just take me now"

beomgyu clapped his hands together. "alright, no need to ask the deities, i'll help; but you owe me"

twenty minutes later, you were both in minhyuk's (correct) room, working at a frantic pace. beomgyu was a surprisingly efficient and hilarious assistant. he blew up balloons until he was lightheaded, dramatically draping himself over the desk. he 'accidentally' threw a handful of rose petals at your head, laughing when they got stuck in your hair. at one point, while you were trying to tape the banner to the wall, he came up behind you, his chest nearly pressing against your back to reach a corner you couldn't get.

"need a hand?" he breathed against your ear.

you nearly swallowed your tongue. "i'm fine," you squeaked, your body going rigid.

he just chuckled, a low, knowing sound, and his fingers brushed yours as he took the tape from your hand. you were hyper-aware of every single point of contact. the scent of his cologne—sandalwood and something clean and citrusy—wrapped around you. this was bad. very, very bad.

"can i ask you something?" he said, not moving away.

"you're going to anyway, aren't you?"

he was about to answer, something that you knew would have stirred up your insides even more, but the second he opened his mouth— you both heard the keys jiggle, this time accompanied by a girl's voice.

"they're here!" you hissed. fishing out your phone yet again and setting it up against the windowsill, with a last touch, you set it to record as beomgyu pulled you in.

he grabbed your arm. “in here.” he yanked open the closet door, pushed you inside, and slipped in after you, pulling the door shut until it was just a crack of light.

the closet was pitch black and impossibly tiny. you were pressed chest-to-chest with beomgyu, his face inches from your own. you could feel every inhale he took. in the darkness, you felt him shift, and then a sliver of light from a crack in the door illuminated his features. he wasn't looking at the door.

his eyes dropped to your lips. then back to your eyes. then to your lips again. you realised, your brain was already short-circuiting. it was a trick, and it was working very well. he tilted his head, leaning in, his breath warm on your mouth.

he was going to kiss you. in a closet. while your best friend was having her romantic moment three feet away.

just as his lips were about to brush yours, you slapped your palm directly over his mouth.

his eyes widened, then crinkled at the corners in pure amusement.

you leaned in, your nose bumping his, and whispered as fiercely as you could, "are you insane?"

on the other side of the closet door, you heard minhyuk gasp. "oh, jia… you did all this? thank you baby."

you held your breath, your hand still clamped over beomgyu's mouth, your other hand pressed flat against the wall to keep from falling into him. beomgyu's eyes never left yours. slowly, deliberately, he lifted one of his hands. his fingers wrapped gently around your wrist. your heart felt like it was going to explode.

he didn't pull your hand away. he just held it. and then, keeping his gaze locked on yours, he turned his head slightly and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to the inside of your palm.

your entire arm went numb. a shiver ran down your spine.

he lowered your hand, his thumb stroking a small circle on your wrist. he leaned in, his lips now hovering right next to your ear. "yeah," he whispered, his voice a warm, velvety rumble that went straight through you. "i think i might be."

and before you could react, before you could even breathe, his hand slid to the back of your neck, and he closed the distance.

it wasn't a gentle first kiss. it was confident, deliberate, and utterly consuming. his lips were soft but insistent, tasting faintly of the coffee he'd been drinking earlier. you froze for a single, terrified second, acutely aware of the couple on the other side of the thin closet door, cooing over rose petals.

and then your hand fisted in his silky hair, and you kissed him back.

his lips moulded against yours like he’d been waiting all night—like he’d known you for years. your back hit the closet wall with a soft thud. one of your hands came up to brace against the shelf above his head; the other curled into his shirt, pulling him closer. he made a small, satisfied sound against your mouth.

outside, jia said, “wait, where’s yn? yn was supposed to be here helping—”

your eyes flew open.

beomgyu pulled back just enough to whisper against your lips, “oops.”

[jianurl]

when my friends read fanfics but i only read m!reader fics so i can’t talk about the peak fics i read or else they’ll think im cringe

[jianurl]

Item: The Welcome Mat Rarity: ⏶ Common

What game feels like "home" to you no matter when you come back to it?

Feed your dashboard by answering my question, blogger.

sorry for seeing this so late 😵😵

hmm… theres definitely a hades I and II shaped hole in my heart, but unfortunately theres also a larger, danganronpa 2 shaped hole!!

But if i had to choose a more “comfort” game hades II is def a winner

[ourseasone]

chapter 017 ✱ lover, you should come over

previous masterlist next

The two days that followed the encounter with Yeongbin and that gang blurred together into something shapeless and exhausting for you, each hour bleeding into the next like watercolors left too long in the rain.

On the surface, everything looked normal. The four of you went to class, sat through lessons you couldn't focus on, exchanged quiet words in the spaces between bells. After school, you lingered — sometimes in the classroom, sometimes in the courtyard, sometimes just outside the gates, reluctant to separate, unwilling to be alone. Then you and Suho would head to work, Sieun would go home to study, and Beomseok would disappear somewhere in between, swallowed by the city's evening glow.

Really, it was normal; the shape of ordinary days.

But underneath it all, beneath the mundane rhythm of high school and part-time jobs, there was a constant, low-grade pressure — the sense of being followed and tracked. The man in the ugly shirt hadn't sent his guys to collect money or break knees. Instead, he'd chosen a different kind of warfare; the slow, grinding erosion of peace.

They were everywhere.

When the four of you left school at the end of the day, a cluster of teenagers would be loitering by the gates, their eyes tracking every movement, their laughter too loud and too pointed. When you walked home alone, cutting through the narrow streets behind the gym, you'd catch glimpses of shadows that didn't belong; figures lingering at intersections, leaning against walls, pretending to check their phones. When you left work at night, exhausted and hollow-eyed, desperate for the silence of your small apartment, they were there too.

It was intimidation, plain and simple. A message wrapped in presence; We know where you are. We can find you whenever we want. Pay up, or this never stops.

But instead of making you afraid, it mostly made you tired, and beneath all the exhaustion, coiled tight and hot, it made you really angry.

Tonight was no different.

The convenience store's automatic doors hissed shut behind you, and you stepped out into the cool night air, your body heavy with the accumulated fatigue of a full day of school followed by a six-hour night shift. Your shoulders ached, your feet throbbed, and your head had been doing that annoying thing again — the slow, pulsing ache behind your eyes that you were trying very hard not to think about.

You sighed, shoving your hands deep into the pockets of your gray sweatpants, and started walking.

But you didn't get far.

They were there, as expected. Three of them this time — two guys and a girl, all dressed in the same uniform of cheap streetwear and performative toughness. They were leaning against the low wall that separated the convenience store's parking lot from the main road, their phones out, their postures deliberately casual. But their eyes weren't on their screens; their eyes were on you.

You stopped.

For a moment, you considered just walking past them, ignoring them, and keeping your head down and your hands in your pockets and pretending they were nothing more than scenery. It was what you usually did. It was what you'd been doing for two days straight, swallowing your irritation, biting back your temper, telling yourself it wasn't worth it.

But something about tonight was different.

The exhaustion was heavier, the anger was closer to the surface, and the way they were looking at you — like you were prey, like they had any right to look at anyone like that — made something in your chest go cold and still.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" The words came out before you could stop them, flat and sharp, cutting through the night air like a blade.

The three of them exchanged glances, and then they simply laughed — not the nervous, uncertain laughter of people who'd been caught, but the deliberate, mocking laughter of people who thought they were untouchable.

And your jaw tightened.

They think this is funny, you thought. They think following people around, making them feel unsafe, making them feel hunted—that's a joke to them.

"What?" One of the guys stepped forward, his voice dripping with false bravado. "Awh, does it bother you that we're looking at you?" He tilted his head, a smirk crawling across his face. "What are you gonna do about it? You wanna hit us or something?"

Yes.

The word bloomed in your mind, bright and immediate and almost seductive.

Yes, I want to hit you. I want to hit you so badly I can taste it. I want to wipe that smirk off your face and watch you try to laugh with a broken jaw.

But you didn't move, didn't speak, didn't give them the satisfaction of a reaction.

Instead, you just stood there, your hands buried in your pockets, your brown eyes fixed on the guy's face with an expression that was less anger and more... assessment. Like you were looking at something unpleasant you'd stepped in, something that needed to be scraped off your shoe.

He's not worth it, you told yourself. None of them are worth it. Just walk away. Just go home. Just—

The guy's smirk faltered, just slightly, just enough for you to notice it.

"I'm talking to you, little insolent brat." The guy stepped closer, closing the distance between you, his voice dropping into something meaner. "You deaf or something?"

You didn't move, and you didn't blink; you just watched the guy approach, watched him invade your space, watched him try to loom despite being a full head shorter.

This is pathetic, you thought. This whole thing is pathetic. They send children to do their dirty work, and the children think they're scary.

"Or else..." The guy's lips curved into an arrogant smile, the kind of smile that was meant to provoke, meant to wound. "Did your whore of a mother not teach you good manners?"

The world went very, very quiet.

For a single, crystalline moment, everything around you stopped — the distant traffic, the hum of the convenience store's lights, the sound of the girl's nervous giggle. All of it faded, replaced by a silence so complete that you could hear your own heartbeat, slow and steady and terribly, terribly calm.

He said that, you thought. He actually said that.

Before the thought could finish, before you could talk yourself out of it, before you could remember all the reasons why violence was a bad idea, your fist was already moving.

It wasn't a conscious decision. It wasn't something you weighed or measured or considered. It was pure instinct — the same instinct that had kept you alive in the ring, that had taught you to strike first and ask questions later. Your right hand came out of your pocket, your body twisted, your weight shifted, and your knuckles connected with the guy's jaw with a satisfying, meaty crack.

The guy went down hard, his legs folding beneath him, his ass hitting the concrete with a sound that was almost comical. His head snapped back, then forward, and a pained grunt escaped his lips as his hand flew to his face.

The other two — the second guy and the girl — stumbled backward, their eyes wide with fear, their confidence evaporating like morning mist.

You didn't look at them. Your attention was fixed on the figure crumpled at your feet.

"Repeat what you just said." Your voice was low, almost conversational, but there was something underneath it — something cold and hard and absolutely unforgiving. "Go ahead. I'm listening."

The guy on the ground glared up at you, his jaw already reddening, his pride clearly wounded.

"You'll regret this!" he spat, but his voice wavered, cracked at the edges.

You sighed; it was a very long, very slow exhale that carried all the weight of your exhaustion, all the heat of your anger, all the weariness of being pushed and pushed and pushed until something had to give.

You took a step forward, then another.

The guy on the ground made another sound — a very small, high-pitched sound that might have been a whimper — and flinched, his whole body jerking backward, his hands coming up in a futile gesture of self-defense.

You laughed, and it was a soft sound, barely more than an exhale, but there was no warmth in it.

"Pathetic," you murmured, almost to yourself.

You stopped when your feet were on either side of the guy's legs, towering over him, the full height of your frame casting a long shadow in the convenience store's fluorescent glow. You looked down at the guy — letting your gaze travel over the trembling hands, the reddening jaw, the wide, frightened eyes — and felt something twist in your chest.

This is what you wanted, you thought. You wanted to scare me. You wanted to intimidate me. And now look at you.

Slowly, deliberately, you crouched down.

You moved like you had all the time in the world, like the night was yours and the darkness was yours and this moment belonged to no one but you. Your knees bent, your weight settled, and you brought yourself down to the guy's level, close enough to see the individual beads of sweat on his forehead, close enough to smell the cheap cologne he'd doused himself in.

Your hand slowly reached out, and your long fingers found the guy's jaw — the same jaw you'd just punched, the same jaw that was already beginning to swell — and gripped it, hard. Not gently, not carefully; you squeezed until you could feel the bone beneath the skin, until the guy's breath hitched and his eyes pathetically watered.

"Go ahead," you said, and your voice was soft, almost gentle, which somehow made it worse. "I'm listening. You had something to say about my mother, right?" You tilted your head, your brown eyes boring into the guy's. "So say it. I'm right here. It's just the two of us now."

You paused a second, letting the silence stretch, letting the guy's panic build.

"Your little friends ran away, by the way." Your lips curved into a small, cold smile. "Didn't you notice? They left you. The moment things got real, they turned around and ran like the little pieces of shit they are."

The guy's eyes darted to the side, desperately searching for his little companions, but your grip on his jaw tightened, preventing him from turning his head. Still, he could see — out of the corner of his eye, in the periphery of his vision — that the street behind you was completely empty. The other two were gone; they disappeared into the night like shadows retreating from the dawn.

A trembling breath escaped the guy's lips, and his whole body was shaking now, fine tremors that ran through his shoulders, his arms, his legs.

"I—I'm sorry," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"

"I don't give a fuck about your apologies."

Your voice was ice, absolute zero, and it was the kind of cold that burned.

You tightened your grip again, and the guy whimpered — a pathetic and desperate sound that made something very dark and satisfied curl in your stomach.

"Please," the guy gasped, tears welling in his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. "Please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"I don't want your apologies."

You leaned in closer, your face inches from the guy's, your voice dropping to something low and dangerous.

"I want you to leave me and my friends the hell alone. I want you to take your little group of good-for-nothing thugs and find something better to do with your time." You paused, letting the words sink in. "Do you understand?"

The guy nodded frantically, as much as your hard grip would allow. "Yes—yes, I understand—"

"Tell your boss," you continued, and your voice was still cold, still utterly devoid of mercy, "that if he wants his money, he can come get it himself. But if I see any of you following me again—if I see any of you anywhere near me or my friends—I won't be this nice next time."

You emphasized the word nice with another squeeze of your long fingers, and the guy made another pathetic sound that was half a sob, half a gasp.

"I—I'll tell him," the guy choked out. "I swear. I swear, I'll tell him. Just—please—"

You held his gaze for a long moment, searching for something — sincerity, maybe, or just the acknowledgment of defeat. But all you found was fear. Pure, unadulterated fear, swimming in the guy's tear-filled eyes, trembling in his split lips, radiating from his shaking body.

Good, you thought. Be afraid. You should be afraid.

You released your grip — not gently, but abruptly, shoving the guy's face away like you were discarding something filthy. The guy's head snapped to the side, and his hands flew up to cradle his jaw, his fingers pressing against the red, bruising skin where your marks were already forming.

"I don't want to see you again," you said, straightening to your full height. You looked down at the crumpled figure at your feet, and your expression was one of pure, undisguised disgust. "Any of you. If I do, I won't hold back."

You didn't wait for a response. You didn't need one.

You pulled the hood of your gray sweatshirt over your head, the soft fabric settling around your face, casting your soft features in shadow. Your hands slid back into the pockets of your sweatpants, and you turned away from the sobbing figure on the ground, stepping over his outstretched legs like they were nothing more than a crack in the pavement.

The night air was cool, and the streets were quiet, and you walked home alone, your footsteps steady on the concrete, your heart slowly returning to its normal rhythm.

But your hands were still shaking.

You shoved them deeper into your pockets, curled them into fists, tried to will the trembling to stop. But it simply didn't; the adrenaline was still there, coursing through your veins, lighting up your nerves, making every sound too loud and every shadow too sharp.

I could have hurt him more, you thought. I wanted to hurt him more. If he hadn't apologized, if he'd kept running his mouth, I don't know if I would have stopped.

The thought sat heavy in your chest, cold and unfamiliar. You'd been in fights before — plenty of them, in the ring and out of it — but those had been different. There had been rules, or at least a vague sense of fairness, of proportionality.

Tonight hadn't felt like that.

Tonight had felt like something inside you had woken up; something really hungry, something that had enjoyed the way the guy's eyes went wide with fear, the way his voice cracked, the way his body trembled under your hands.

Is that who I am now? you quietly wondered. Is that who I'm becoming?

You didn't have an answer. You weren't sure you wanted one.

The walk home was supposed to be simple. A straight line from the convenience store to your apartment, past the usual landmarks — the twenty-four-hour fried chicken place, the old pharmacy with the flickering sign, the corner where the stray cats gathered near the dumpster.

You had walked this route hundreds of times, you could have navigated it blindfolded, could have traced it in your sleep.

Tonight, though, your feet felt weirdly heavy, each step an effort. Your hands were still buried deep in the pockets of your gray sweatpants, your hood still pulled low over your forehead, casting most of your face in shadow. The night air was cool against your cheeks, a welcome relief from the stuffy heat of the convenience store, but it did absolutely nothing to quiet the noise in your head.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your headache was still there, a dull, persistent ache behind your eyes, but it had settled into something a little more bearable. The kind of pain you learned to live with, the kind that faded into the background if you didn't pay it too much attention. Your hands had stopped trembling about ten minutes ago, which was good. You didn't want to think about why they'd been shaking in the first place.

You're fine, you told yourself. You're fine. Just keep walking. You're almost home.

Your stomach growled.

Right. You hadn't eaten since lunch — a sad cafeteria tray of rice and some kind of soup that had tasted mostly like salt. You'd been too tired to think about food after work, too focused on just getting through the shift, on not snapping at customers, on keeping your head down and your mouth shut.

Maybe I should get something, you thought, turning your head toward the restaurants lining the street.

There was a small place on your left, the kind of family-owned spot that served noodles and dumplings and never seemed to close. The menu was displayed in the window, pages taped to the glass, photos of steaming bowls and golden-fried things that made your stomach clench with want.

You slowed, reading without really reading, your tired eyes scanning the options.

Black bean noodles. Spicy seafood soup. Dumplings.

Your mouth watered. But even as your body signaled hunger, the rest of you felt heavy, sluggish, disinterested. The idea of sitting alone in a restaurant, of chewing and swallowing and pretending to be a functional human being, felt exhausting in a way you couldn't articulate.

I'll just eat at home, you decided. There's leftover rice. Maybe an egg. It's fine.

You were about to look away, you were about to continue your slow trudge toward home, when something in the window caught your eye. A figure, seated toward the back of the restaurant, their face turned toward the glass.

Your feet stopped moving.

No way.

You blinked, certain your exhausted brain was playing tricks on you. But the figure didn't disappear, it didn't blur or fade or transform into a stranger; it stayed exactly where it was — sharp, distinct, unmistakable.

Sieun.

The boy was sitting at a table near the window, dressed entirely in black — black pants, black t-shirt, black vest, and a black cap pulled low over his forehead. His posture was relaxed but alert, the way it always was, like he was ready to move at any moment. Sieun's face was turned toward the window, and you could see the tired lines around his eyes, the serious set of his mouth.

And across from him, with her back to you, was a girl.

You couldn't see her face, just the shape of her — short hair, slender shoulders, the way she leaned forward slightly when she spoke, like whatever she was saying was important. They were talking about something, their mouths moving, her hands occasionally gesturing, and there was something about the scene that made your chest go tight.

Who is that?

The question came unbidden, sharp and unwelcome.

You didn't want to ask it, you didn't want to care. Sieun was allowed to have friends, he was allowed to eat dinner with whoever he wanted, he was allowed to exist in the world without you monitoring every interaction.

They must be close, your brain supplied, unhelpfully. Sieun doesn't just go to restaurants with anyone. He barely eats with us, and we're his friends. So whoever she is, she must be very important to him.

The thought landed like a stone in your stomach.

Oh, you realized, the word echoing hollowly in your mind. Oh, I don't like this. I really, really don't like this.

And then, as if your very stupid brain was determined to make you even more miserable, another thought followed, even worse than the first;

Are they on a date?

The jealousy hit you like a physical force — hot and sharp and utterly irrational. You had no claim on Sieun. No right to feel this way. You were friends. Friends. Sieun had never given you any reason to think otherwise, he had never said or done anything that suggested he wanted more, right? All those moments between you — the tutoring, the strawberry milk, the walk to the bus stop — they could have been nothing more than friendship. Kindness. Pity, even.

Oh my God, you thought, your face burning. Oh my God, I'm jealous. I'm actually jealous. I'm standing on a sidewalk, spying on my friend through a restaurant window, and I'm jealous of a girl I can't even see.

You wanted to laugh. You wanted to cry. You wanted to sink into the ground and never resurface.

This was pathetic. You were pathetic. You had a brain tumor and a mother who hated you and a best friend who'd gotten hurt because of you, and here you were, losing your mind over a boy who probably didn't even think of you that way.

Get a grip, you told yourself fiercely. Get a grip right now. You're being ridiculous. Sieun can go on dates. Sieun can like whoever he wants. It's none of your business.

But even as you thought it, the jealousy burned hotter, spreading from your chest to your throat, making it hard to swallow. You could feel your heart pounding, you could feel the familiar ache behind your eyes intensifying, you could feel something ugly and possessive curling in your gut.

What if she makes him laugh? What if he looks at her the way he looks at me sometimes? What if—

You couldn't finish the thought, you couldn't bear to.

I'm falling in love, you realized, and the words hit you with the force of a freight train. I'm actually falling in love with Sieun, and I didn't even notice until now, until I saw him with someone else, and now I can't stop thinking about it, and it hurts, and I'm so, so screwed.

You tilted your head back, staring up at the night sky above you, at the pale Moon and the scattered Stars. Your throat worked as you swallowed, your Adam's apple bobbing, the veins in your neck visible in the dim light. Your head was pounding now, a relentless throb that seemed to pulse in time with your heartbeat, and you squeezed your eyes shut, desperately trying to will the pain away.

"For fuck's sake," you murmured under your breath, the words barely audible. "I'm falling in love."

Saying it out loud made it real; it made it something you couldn't take back, couldn't pretend was just a passing fancy or a harmless crush. This was real. This was terrifying. This was going to ruin everything.

You opened your eyes, running a hand over your face, trying to scrub away the thoughts, the feelings, the mess of emotions that had you tied in knots. It didn't help. Nothing helped.

And then, almost against your will, you looked back at the window, and Sieun was looking at you.

Your eyes met through the glass, and your stupid heart stopped — really, it literally stopped, frozen in your chest, the world going silent for one long, suspended moment. Then it started again, faster than before, a wild, desperate rhythm that made your hands shake and your breath catch.

Sieun's eyes widened, just slightly, just enough for you to notice, and there was something in his expression — something that might have been surprise, might have been panic, might have been something else entirely.

( Sieun felt his own heart stutter as his gaze met your tired brown eyes. A wave of panic surged through his chest — not the slow, creeping kind, but the sudden, breath-stealing sort that left him momentarily frozen.

He should have been panicking about the obvious, logical disaster unfolding in front of him. After all, here he was, sitting in a restaurant with a girl who belonged to the very gang that had cornered them just two days ago. If you somehow recognized her — if the pieces clicked together in your exhausted mind — it would look really damning. It would seem as though Sieun was conspiring with their enemies, when in truth, the teenage boy had only wanted this meeting to gather a little more informations.

But strangely enough, that wasn't what made Sieun's chest tighten with dread.

No — the panic clawing at him was far more irrational, and far more personal. Sieun realized, with a jolt of confusion, that he didn't want you to misunderstand this. Not the gang part. Not the potential betrayal. But them — him and the girl. He didn't want you to get the wrong idea about what was happening here, even though Sieun himself couldn't fully explain why it mattered so much.

What if you assumed there was something between Sieun and this girl? The thought alone made Sieun's stomach twist uncomfortably. And if — as he faintly suspected — if you did jump to that very absurd conclusion, Sieun would have to clarify immediately. Really, it was just a simple misunderstanding. Nothing more.

But why did Sieun feel so desperate to set the record straight? Why did your potential assumption bother him more than the very real threat of being seen as a traitor?

Sieun wasn't really sure, and that very uncertainty only made the panic worse. )

He saw me, you thought, horrified. He saw me standing here like a creep, staring at him through the window, and now he knows I was watching. Oh my God, I want to die.

"Shit," you whispered, a sheepish, helpless smile tugging at your lips despite everything.

You really didn't know what to do. Your brain, usually so quick to react, had apparently decided to take the night off. You were just standing there, frozen in place, your hand still raised from where you'd been rubbing your face, your eyes locked on Sieun's through the glass.

Move, you told yourself. Do something. Anything. You can't just stand here like a statue.

So you waved.

It was awkward as hell — a stiff, jerky movement of your hand, more of a flail than a wave. Your fingers wiggled uncertainly, and you could feel the heat climbing up your neck, flooding your cheeks, turning your ears red.

I'm so stupid, you thought. I'm so, so stupid. Why did I do that? Why did I wave? Now he knows I saw him, and he's going to think I'm weird, and—

You couldn't finish the thought.

So you did the only thing that made sense; you turned around and started walking away.

Your hands were back in your pockets, your shoulders hunched, your hood still pulled low. You didn't look back. If you looked back, you might see Sieun laughing at you, or worse — Sieun ignoring you, turning back to the girl, dismissing your presence like it didn't matter.

It doesn't matter, you reminded yourself. You don't matter. Not like that. You're just Sieun's friend. Just some guy who helps him with fights and gets jealous over nothing. You're nothing special.

Your chest ached. The jealousy was still there, burning low and hot, but underneath it was something worse — a hollow, empty feeling, like someone had scooped out your insides and left you hollow.

One step, you told yourself. Just keep walking. One foot in front of the other. You'll get home, you'll take a good shower, you'll go to sleep, and tomorrow this will all feel like a bad dream.

You took a step, then another, then a third.

And then a hand wrapped around your forearm.

The contact wasn't direct — your hoodie was in the way, the thick fabric a barrier between skin and skin — but you felt it anyway. You felt the warmth of it, the pressure, the way those slender fingers curled around your arm and held on.

You stopped, then you turned your head.

And Sieun was there.

He was standing close — closer than you had expected, close enough that you could see the individual lashes framing his dark eyes, the faint flush on his cheeks, the way his chest rose and fell like he'd been running. He must have rushed out of the restaurant, he must have crossed the distance between you in seconds, and now he was here, his hand on your arm, his gaze fixed on your face.

And there was something in his expression — something you couldn't quite name. Shyness, maybe. Uncertainty. A kind of desperate sincerity that made your heart clench.

"It's not what you think," Sieun said.

His voice was soft, breathless, like he'd been holding the words in and couldn't keep them any longer.

You blinked. "Huh?"

"That girl." Sieun's grip on your arm tightened slightly, as if he was afraid you might pull away. "She's part of the gang we met two days ago."

Your brain, still sluggish from exhaustion and ridiculous jealousy and the emotional whiplash of the past few minutes, really struggled to catch up.

"What?"

"I asked to meet her." Sieun's gaze never wavered, his dark eyes locked on yours. "I wanted to get information about her boss. About what they're planning. That's all." He paused, swallowing hard. "That's all it was."

You stared at Sieun.

The words were sinking in slowly, filtering through the fog of your emotions, and with each passing second, the jealousy in your chest began to fade — not disappearing entirely, but softening, loosening its grip. In its place, something else was growing; something warmer, something that made your throat tight and your eyes sting.

Sieun is justifying himself, you realized. He came out here to tell me it wasn't a date. He wanted to make sure I didn't get the wrong idea.

But why? Why did Sieun care what you thought? You were friends, right? Just friends. Sieun didn't owe you an explanation, didn't owe you anything at all. He could have let you walk away, let you believe whatever you wanted to believe, and it wouldn't have mattered.

Except it did matter. To Sieun, apparently, it mattered.

"Why are you telling me this?" Your voice came out rougher than you intended, thick with emotion you couldn't quite hide.

Sieun hesitated. His lips parted, then closed, then parted again. He looked uncertain for the first time since you'd known him — genuinely uncertain, like he was standing at the edge of something and didn't know if he should jump.

"I..." Sieun paused, his brow furrowing. "To be honest, I don't know. I just—" He took a little breath, steadying himself. "I don't want you to think there's something between me and that girl, because there isn't. There never has been. I just—I needed you to know that."

I needed you to know that.

The words echoed in your chest, reverberating through the hollow spaces, completely filling them with something warm and bright and terrifying.

Sieun was still holding your arm, he was still looking at you with those dark, earnest eyes. He was still waiting, maybe, for you to say something, to react, to give him some sign that he'd done the right thing.

You bit your lower lip, trying to suppress the smile that was threatening to break across your face. You failed. The smile came anyway — small at first, then wider, helpless and genuine and so full of feeling that it almost hurt.

"Okay," you said, and your voice was softer now, gentler.

You pulled your right hand out of your pocket — slowly, carefully, so Sieun would see what you were doing — and placed it over Sieun's hand on your forearm. Your fingers were larger than Sieun's, rougher, the knuckles still faintly bruised from the punch you'd thrown earlier. But they were warm, and they were steady, and they held Sieun's hand like it was something really precious.

Okay, you thought. This is okay. This is more than okay.

Your eyes met again, and you smiled — not the teasing, playful smile you usually wore around your friends, but something softer, something real.

"Okay," you repeated, barely above a whisper.

Your hand moved, just slightly, just enough for your fingers to slip between Sieun's, for your palms to press together, for your hands to intertwine like they'd been made to fit.

Sieun's breath caught, and you heard it — the soft hitch, the tiny intake of air — and you felt something shift between you, something that had been hovering at the edges for very long weeks, maybe a little longer.

"I believe you," you said, and you really meant it. "I didn't—I mean, I wasn't—"

You stumbled over the words, suddenly self-conscious, suddenly aware of how much you were revealing.

"I didn't know what to think. When I saw you with her, I just..." You trailed off, shaking your head. "It doesn't matter. You don't have to explain yourself to me. You never do."

"But I wanted to."

The words were simple, quiet, but they landed like a stone in still water, sending ripples through your chest.

Sieun wanted to. Sieun wanted me to know. Sieun didn't want me to think—

You couldn't finish the thought; you couldn't let yourself hope, not yet, not when you were still so raw and the jealousy was still so fresh. But the warmth was spreading anyway, filling you up, making you feel lighter than you had in days.

Don't read into it, you warned yourself. Don't assume. Don't—

But Sieun's hand was still in yours, so warm and so solid and so real, and Sieun wasn't pulling away, he wasn't looking for an excuse to leave. He was just standing there, in the middle of the sidewalk, holding your hand like it was the most natural thing in the entire universe.

The silence stretched between you, comfortable and charged all at once. The city hummed around you — distant traffic, the murmur of voices from the restaurant, the occasional bark of a dog somewhere down the street — but none of it touched you. The two of you were in your own bubble, your own world, and you didn't want to leave.

An idea came to you, unbidden and terrifying.

You honestly didn't know where the hell it came from, you didn't know how you found the courage to even think about it, let alone say it out loud. But the words were already forming, already rising in your throat, and before you could stop yourself, you were speaking;

"Do you..." You paused, your heart hammering. "Do you want to come to my place?"

Sieun blinked, once, twice. His lips parted, and for a moment, you were certain he was going to say no. That he was going to pull his hand away, make some excuse about studying, about needing to go home, about—

"I have to study," Sieun said, but his voice was hesitant, uncertain, like he was testing the words to see how they felt.

"You can study at my place." The words came out faster than you intended, more desperate. "If you want. I mean—you don't have to. Obviously. I just thought—" You swallowed, your cheeks burning. "I just thought it might be nice. To not be alone. Tonight."

Pathetic, you thought. You sound pathetic. He's going to say no, and you're going to stand here like an idiot, and—

"Okay."

Your brain short-circuited. "What?"

"Okay." Sieun's voice was so soft, barely audible over the hum of the city. "I'll come."

The words hung in the air between you, fragile and precious. You stared at Sieun, at the shy little curve of his lips, at the way his dark eyes were watching your face like he was trying to memorize it.

He said yes, you thought, dazed. He actually said yes.

"Okay," you repeated, because it was the only word you could manage, the only word that felt big enough to hold everything you were feeling.

Sieun's hand tightened around yours, just slightly, just enough to make your heart stutter even more. And then you were walking, side by side, your fingers still intertwined, your steps falling into an easy rhythm.

The Moon was overhead, pale and bright, and the Stars were scattered across the sky like tiny promises, but you didn't look at them; you just couldn't look away from the boy beside you, from the way the streetlights caught his profile, from the soft expression on his pretty face that you were starting to think was only for you.

I'm falling in love, you thought again, and this time, it didn't feel like a threat.

Your small apartment was almost exactly as it had been the week before, when Sieun had come here to tutor you in math — it was the same familiar walls, the same small window with its view of the Moon, the same tiny plant on the windowsill that you were somehow keeping alive through sheer stubbornness.

But there were differences too, small ones that Sieun noticed without meaning to.

The clothes that had been scattered across the floor were gone, neatly piled in the hamper by the bathroom door. The empty food wrappers had been thrown away, their greasy remnants scrubbed from the small table. Even the bed was made — or at least, sort of made, the blankets pulled into something resembling order, the pillows arranged.

You were sitting on your bed now, side by side, your backs against the wall.

Sieun had his legs crossed, a textbook open on his thighs, surrounded by two other books and a notebook filled with his precise, beautiful handwriting. You had insisted on giving him the pillow — the one good pillow, the one you actually slept on at night — to put between his back and the wall, and Sieun had slightly protested at first, but you had been stubborn, and eventually Sieun had given in with a small, almost imperceptible smile.

You yourself had no pillow; you didn't need one. You were leaning forward slightly, your left leg stretched out along the length of the bed, your right leg bent against your chest, your forearms resting on your knee and your chin resting on your forearms. From this position, you could watch Sieun without being obvious about it. Or so you told yourself.

The room was wrapped in a soothing silence, the kind of silence that didn't need to be filled. Occasionally, a car would pass outside, its headlights sweeping across the ceiling, its engine fading into the distance. The bedside lamp was on, casting a warm, golden glow over everything, softening the edges of the room, making the shadows feel gentle instead of threatening.

Sieun was revising.

He had been revising for the past hour, his focus being absolute, his pen moving steadily across the pages of his notebook. Every few minutes, he would pause, tilt his head, consider something, and then continue writing.

His concentration was impressive, and you found yourself mesmerized by it.

He's so beautiful, you thought, and the words felt inadequate, too small for what you were feeling. He's so beautiful, and he's sitting on my bed, in my room, and I don't know what I did to deserve this.

Your eyes traced the lines of Sieun's profile — the gentle slope of his nose, the curve of his jaw, the way his dark lashes cast tiny shadows on his cheeks. You watched Sieun's hands, those delicate fingers that moved with such precision, turning pages, underlining sentences. The small mole on his wrist was more visible tonight, and you found yourself staring at it for a little moment, wondering what it would feel like to press your lips against that spot.

Oh my God, stop, you told yourself. Stop thinking about that. You're being so weird.

But you couldn't stop.

The thoughts kept coming, unbidden and relentless, each one more intense than the last. The scent of peaches was everywhere — on Sieun's clothes, in his hair, radiating from his skin like something organic, something alive. It filled your senses, made you feel lightheaded, made you want to lean closer and breathe deeper and never pull away.

I love him, you realized, and the thought hit you with the force of a wave, knocking the air from your lungs. I love him. I actually love him. Not just a crush. Not just admiration. Love. Real, actual, terrifying love.

You'd known it — you had said it to yourself on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, you had felt it burning in your chest as you watched Sieun through the window. But saying it and feeling it were different things. The word love was just a word, a collection of letters, until it wasn't. Until it became something that lived inside you, that pulsed with every heartbeat, that colored every thought and every breath.

I love him, you thought again, and this time, the words felt like a prayer.

But even as the warmth spread through your chest, even as your heart swelled with the joy of it, something else was lurking beneath the surface; something cold and sharp and terribly, terribly sad.

What right do I have to love him?

The question came out of nowhere, but once it arrived, it refused to leave. Your mind, so full of Sieun's beauty and Sieun's presence and Sieun's everything, suddenly turned inward, toward the darker corners of your own existence.

You're dying, a voice whispered. You have a tumor. You have maybe a year, maybe less. And you want to drag him into that? You want him to care about you, to love you back, knowing that you're going to leave him?

Your chest tightened. The warmth was still there, but it was tangled now with something else — guilt, maybe, or fear, or the kind of sorrow that came from wanting something you knew you couldn't fully have.

It's selfish, you thought. It's so selfish. He deserves someone who can give him a future. Someone who won't disappear. Someone who isn't broken and damaged and—

You closed your eyes, desperately trying to push the ugly thoughts away, but they clung to you, persistent and cruel, wrapping around your heart like vines.

But I want him anyway, you admitted, and the confession felt like a sin. I want him so badly it hurts. I want to hold his hand and kiss his lips and fall asleep next to him and wake up with him still there. I want to be selfish. I want to be cruel. I want to love him even if it destroys us both.

You opened your eyes, and your gaze fell on Sieun's lips.

The thought that followed was less a thought and more an impulse — a sudden, overwhelming urge that bypassed your brain entirely and settled somewhere deep in your gut.

Kiss him, it said. Kiss him right now. Lean over and press your lips to his and don't stop until he pushes you away.

Your breath caught.

What the hell?

You'd had this urge before — during your tutoring session, when Sieun had been explaining fractions and you had been watching his mouth form the words. But that had been fleeting, a passing fancy that had faded almost as soon as it appeared. This was different. This was urgent. This felt like something you needed to do, like something your body was demanding, like something that had been building for weeks and was now threatening to overflow.

Kiss him, the impulse repeated. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him. Kiss him.

Your heart was pounding now, so loud you were sure Sieun could hear it. Your palms were sweating, your mouth felt dry, and you wanted — needed — to close the distance between you, to feel Sieun's lips against your own, to taste the peach that seemed to cling to everything about him.

This is crazy, you thought. This is insane. We're friends. We're just friends. I can't just—

"Sieun."

The word came out before you could stop it, soft and low, barely more than a breath. Sieun's hand paused on his notebook, and his body went still, frozen mid-motion, like a deer sensing danger.

You swallowed. Your heart was in your throat now, pounding so hard you could barely think.

"Can I kiss you?"

The words hung in the air between you, fragile and explosive. You hadn't planned them, you hadn't rehearsed them. They'd just... come out, as natural as breathing, as if your body had decided for you.

Sieun didn't move.

His hand was still hovering over the notebook, his fingers curled around his pen. His shoulders were tense, his back straight, his breathing shallow. And his ears — you could see his ears, even in the dim light — were turning pink. Then red. Then something deeper, something that spread to his neck, his cheeks, the tips of his ears like flames.

Oh, you thought, and a small, helpless smile tugged at your lips, hidden behind your forearms. Oh my God, he's so cute. He's so, so cute.

Sieun still hadn't answered. His body was completely frozen, his breath caught somewhere in his chest, his eyes fixed on the notebook in front of him like it held the deepest secrets of the universe.

You straightened up slowly, carefully, like you were approaching a wild animal. You unfolded your legs, crossed them instead, and shifted closer on the bed. Your knee slowly brushed against Sieun's thigh — a light touch, barely there — and you felt Sieun's whole body tense, saw him swallow, watched his fingers tighten around his pen.

He's nervous, you realized. He's nervous, and so am I, and neither of us knows what we're doing.

You leaned in; just a little, just enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from Sieun's skin, could see the individual lashes framing his beautiful dark eyes, could count the tiny freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose that you'd never noticed before.

"Please, Sieun." Your voice was lower now, rougher, carrying an emotion you couldn't name. "Can I kiss you?"

Sieun turned his head.

Very slowly, like he was making a choice, like he was stepping off a ledge and hoping someone would catch him.

His eyes met yours.

And you forgot how to breathe.

There was something in Sieun's gaze — something so raw and so vulnerable and so terrifyingly honest. His dark eyes, usually so guarded, so careful, were wide open now, and you could see absolutely everything in them; the fear, the want, the uncertainty, the hope.

He wants this too, you thought, and the realization made your heart stutter. Or at least... he's thinking about it. He's not saying no.

But Sieun still didn't answer.

His lips were parted, his breath warm against your face, but no words came out. He just looked at you, his expression shifting through a dozen emotions in the span of a heartbeat, and you felt like you were falling, like the ground had disappeared beneath you and you were tumbling through empty space with nothing to hold onto.

Say something, you begged silently. Say yes. Say no. Say anything. I can't—I can't keep waiting—

You unconsciously leaned in closer, and your face was inches from Sieun's now, close enough that you could fully feel the heat of Sieun's skin, could smell the peach scent more intensely than ever, could see the way Sieun's chest rose and fell with each shallow breath.

Sieun's eyes fluttered closed.

( Sieun's heart was pounding. That was the first thing the boy noticed — the wild, erratic rhythm of it, like a trapped bird beating against his ribs. It wasn't supposed to feel like this. Nothing was supposed to feel like this. Sieun had once read about hearts racing in books, in poems, in the lyrics of songs he pretended not to listen to. But reading and feeling were completely different.

Reading was safe. This was terrifying.

Why is it beating so fast? The question came unbidden, sharp and urgent. Why do I want this? Why do I want him?

Sieun didn't understand; he'd never understood.

Feelings were messy, unpredictable, the opposite of everything he valued. Sieun liked order. Sieun liked knowing what came next. Sieun liked having a plan and sticking to it. But there was no plan for this. No plan for the way your voice had dropped low and rough when you asked, Can I kiss you? No plan for the way Sieun's body had responded before his mind could catch up — the way his breath had hitched, his hands had gone slack, his eyes had closed like it was the most natural thing in the world.

This is Y/N, he told himself. This is just Y/N. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm never scared of Y/N.

But Sieun was scared.

Not of you — Sieun could never, in his whole life, be scared of you. You were warmth and laughter and the kind of kindness that didn't ask for anything in return. You were the boy who brought him strawberry milk and smiled like Sieun had hung the Moon. You were safe.

The fear was something else.

It was the fear of the unknown, of the feelings swirling inside him that he couldn't name, couldn't categorize, couldn't file away in the neat compartments of his meticulous mind. It was the fear of wanting something so badly that it hurt, of leaning into the warmth instead of stepping back, of letting himself feel instead of think.

But I want it, Sieun admitted, and the confession was a fracture, a crack in the walls he'd built. I want it so badly. I want him. I want everything.

Sieun's soul was crawling toward you — that was the only way to describe it. Some part of him, deep and primal and completely beyond his control, was reaching out, yearning, desperate to close the distance between you. Sieun could feel it in his chest, in his stomach, in the tips of his fingers that ached to touch. He didn't understand it.

He didn't know why you, of all people, had this huge effect on him.

But he couldn't stop it; Sieun didn't want to stop it.

Please, the boy thought, and he wasn't sure what he was asking for. Please. Just—

Sieun felt your fingers against his lips.

And the world completely stopped spinning. )

Sieun's whole body seemed to soften, the tension draining from his shoulders, his hands going slack around his pen. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing uneven, his face flushed with color that had spread from his ears to his cheeks to the delicate column of his throat.

He's waiting, you realized. He closed his eyes. Is he waiting for me to kiss him?

The urge was overwhelming now, a physical ache that pulsed through your entire body. You wanted to close the distance. You wanted to press your lips against Sieun's and feel them part beneath your own. You wanted to taste him, to touch him, to lose yourself in the warmth of him.

But Sieun hadn't said yes.

He hadn't said anything at all, and you simply couldn't — wouldn't — take Sieun's silence for permission. Not for something this important. Not when your heart was so full it felt like it might completely burst.

So instead, you did something else.

You raised your hand.

Your fingers were trembling — you noticed it distantly, abstractly, as if watching someone else's hand move through the air. They were long fingers, rough from training, the knuckles still faintly bruised from the punch you'd thrown earlier. But they moved with a tenderness that surprised you, a gentleness you didn't know you possessed.

Your index and middle fingers slowly came to rest against Sieun's lips.

The skin there was impossibly soft, softer than you'd imagined, and you felt something crack open in your chest, something you'd been holding closed for too long.

Sieun's eyes opened.

Slowly, reluctantly, like he was surfacing from a dream; Sieun's lashes fluttered, and then his dark gaze was on your face, searching, questioning, feeling.

You leaned in.

You pressed your lips against your own fingers — the ones that were touching Sieun's lips — and closed your eyes.

It wasn't really a kiss; after all, there were two layers of skin between you, two barriers that kept you apart. But it was the closest thing to one that you could give, the closest thing you could offer without crossing a line that Sieun hadn't explicitly invited you to cross.

Your eyes met again.

And in that gaze, everything was said.

Your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it in your temples, your fingers, your legs, every part of your body. You were certain Sieun could feel it too — you were so close, your faces inches apart, your breath mingling in the small space between you. Your fingers were still pressed against Sieun's lips, and you could feel the warmth of them, the slight moisture, the way Sieun's breath hitched with every exhale.

I love you, you thought, and the words echoed in your mind, loud and clear and undeniable. I love you, I love you, I love you. I love you so much.

You didn't say it. You couldn't say it. The words were way too big, too heavy, too full of everything you were feeling. But your eyes said it. Your eyes said everything — the longing, the fear, the hope, the desperate, aching want that had been silently building inside you for weeks.

And Sieun's eyes answered.

They were dark and deep and so full of something you hadn't dared to hope for; something that looked like longing, something that looked like want, something that looked like the beginning of love.

He feels it too, you realized, and the thought was so overwhelming that you had to close your eyes for a moment, had to look away before you drowned in it. Maybe not the same way. Maybe not as much. I don't really know... But he feels something. Something real.

When you opened your eyes again, Sieun was still looking at you, still waiting, still there.

You moved your face back slowly, reluctantly, like every inch of distance was a small death. Your fingers lingered against Sieun's lips for a moment longer, memorizing the sensation — the warmth, the softness, the way Sieun's breath ghosted across your knuckles.

And then, as you finally pulled your hand away, you let your fingers drag against Sieun's lower lip.

It was a small gesture, almost unconscious, but the effect was immediate; Sieun's lips parted slightly, just a fraction, and his breath caught, and you saw the way his eyes darkened, the way his pupils dilated, the way his whole body seemed to lean toward you like a flower turning toward the sun.

If I touched him again, you thought. If I leaned in and kissed him for real, he wouldn't stop me.

But you didn't. Not yet. Not when Sieun still hadn't said yes, still hadn't given you permission, still hadn't closed the distance between you.

Your hand fell to your knee, and you sat there, breathless, your heart racing, your entire body humming with unspent want.

You didn't look away from each other.

The silence between you was thick and electric. You could feel it crackling in the air, you could feel the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you. Your gaze dropped to Sieun's lips again — still slightly parted, still pink and soft and right there — and then back to his eyes.

Sieun's gaze did the same, tracing your mouth, your jaw, the column of your throat.

Kiss me, you thought, and the plea was so loud in your head that you were sure Sieun could hear it. Please, kiss me. I can't—I don't want to push, but I need—

Sieun looked away first.

His head turned back toward his notebook, his hands moving to adjust the pages, his posture shifting into something that was almost studious. But you could see the way his fingers trembled, the way his breathing was still uneven, the way his ears were still flushed with color.

He's not revising, you noticed, watching Sieun stare at the same page for the tenth time without turning it. He's pretending. He's trying to calm down.

Sieun's hand rose slowly, almost unconsciously, and his fingers brushed against his own lips — the same spot where your fingers had been, the same warmth still lingering. His touch was light, tentative, like he was testing something, like he was trying to preserve the sensation before it faded.

And then, so small that you almost missed it, a smile curved Sieun's lips.

It was barely anything — just a slight upturn, a softening of his mouth. But it was real. It was there.

And it was for you.

You smiled too. Really, you couldn't help it. The joy was too big to contain, too bright to hide; it spilled out of you in the curve of your lips, the warmth in your chest, the way your heart sang with every single beat.

He's smiling, you thought. He's smiling because of me. Because of what just happened.

You didn't know what the future held. You didn't know if your feelings were reciprocated, you didn't know if this was the beginning of something precious or just a moment that would fade into memory. But right now, in this moment, with Sieun sitting on your bed, his lips curved in a small, secret smile, his ears still pink, his eyes still soft — right now, you didn't care.

Let me be selfish, you thought. Just for tonight. Let me pretend that this is real. Let me pretend that he loves me too.

Your pinky finger moved.

Slowly, carefully, like you were testing the waters, you extended your hand across the space between you. Your pinky brushed against Sieun's — a light touch, barely there, easy to ignore if Sieun wanted to ignore it.

Sieun didn't pull away.

His pinky curled around yours, a small, tentative answering touch, and your heart soared.

Crawl inside my body, you thought, and the words were a prayer, a plea, a promise. Find me where I am most ruined, and love me there.

The moonlight streamed through the small window, silver and soft, and the city hummed quietly outside, and you sat on your bed with Sieun's pinky linked with your own, and you let yourself hope.

For the first time in a long time, you let yourself hope.

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note ∘ ∘ ∘ important question!! would it be okay with me adding one detailed intimate scene between sieun & MC (only one, later in act 2, and with real meaning)? i'm a bit unsure tbh — do you think it would fit the vibe of the story and their relationship, or would it feel completely out of place? (ᗒᗣᗕ) i really don't wanna spoil anything, but basically MC wants (in act 2) to experience every single of his 'firsts' with sieun, including his first time. i'd really love to hear your thoughts!

taglist ∘ ∘ ∘ @suunani @naelvze @ecrvea @eijizwrld @dudekiss3r @ten0rikuma @nnryota @yeon103 @reiyaus @strawberrywith-chocolate2 @daichiwkmi @jaymiwrld @nightshadelover12 @edensparadisee @heeknow @mazettns @academiq @iluvkyo @cinnabells @deftonro @carnalcrows @winjoytaro @marsredbrrr @energydrinkstastegood @aeilani @prettywhenicry4 @starrykie @pedifero @d4ily-s-nsh1ne @starsarehere @satansdaughter123 @reveluvie-12 @ant-onie @killerd1 @xkskkskwl @dumbisme @lveegsoi @wwwritererm @nxxav3rs3 @onigiri-miyas @kamiliora @alex--awesome--22 @b0orf @fionaapplelover2010 @jhxyyum @miellette @prettymyeons @jamiecesterin18 @uougt @purpledsun @salty-potato-couch @freakseungi @yariany02 ( please comment or send me a message if you wanna be added! )

[wayward-fae]

abracadabra - prologue

yandere! batfamily x neglected! demigod child of hecate reader. (inspired by percy jackson) A/N: I'll go into better detail in later chapters about how this is a twist on a usual neglected reader. There is a reason they are neglected. No knowledge of Percy Jackson is needed. This story will take place long after the events of all the books and only a couple of characters will appear in future.

The chandeliers in the Wayne Tower Ballroom were designed to resemble constellations. Bruce knew that because he approved the renovation himself; it was in memoriam to his mother, who once adored looking up at the dark skies above Wayne Manor. The man remembered spending many a night just listening to his mother explain each story behind every design; her favorite being Lyra and the tale of Orpheus.

Tonight, the chandeliers glittered above Gotham’s wealthiest; no one but Bruce and the designer understood their true design or stories. The ballroom was full of people and their kaleidoscope of senses. The air smelled of champagne and expensive perfumes. Laughter and loud discussions filled every corner, making it harder to hear the whispers of rumors floating around. A string quartet played with a pianist near the opened balcony while people crowded the dance floor, trying to show off their dates.

All the while, Bruce Wayne played his role as if he were merely an actor and this was just one of his many roles and many stages. He shook hands. He thanked the benefactors. He listened to the lies and half-truths from those that considered him one of them. He was charming, effortless, and harmless. The mask of Brucie Wayne was lighter than the cowl he usually wore, but it was just as important.

Because everyone was used to the mask of Brucie, no one took notice of the other mask just beneath the surface: the one of the Batman. This version of Bruce Wayne had kept track of every exit and knew how many steps it took to reach each one. He counted every security personnel and at least knew their first names. This part of Bruce never took a break; he couldn’t because then who would protect Gotham?

Tonight, however, was different. Something was different about the air. Bruce knew that he was always being watched while out in public. But tonight, whatever was watching felt heavy. He felt seen through all of his masks and down to his very core; the small part of him that was still that little boy clutching his mother’s scattered pearls and wearing bloodsoaked clothes.

Bruce took a moment to excuse himself from listening to more of a senator’s lies. He took a flute of champagne from a server and pretended to take a sip while he glanced around. Then he saw her.

Across the ballroom near the open balcony doors stood a woman Bruce did not recognize. That in itself was unusual. He knew the guest list backwards and forwards. He memorized the names of new donors and the usual investors, members of the old money of Gotham and the new bloods, and the names of the spouses and known affair partners and everyone else in between those categories. This woman was on none of those lists. Bruce would have remembered her. 

The woman wasn’t dressed to outshine or even impress anyone. No diamonds or exaggerated jewelry pieces. No dramatic cut of the dress that called for attention. Just a black silk dress and what looked to be a simple silver necklace with some kind of emblem whose details Bruce couldn’t make out from where he stood. The more Bruce looked at her, the more he noticed that no one else seemed to see her. Guests moved past her without touching or seeing her, as if they adjusted course without knowing why. There was also the fact that the woman’s gaze was not on the party going on around her but to the ceiling above. Almost as if she was taking in the detail of chandeliers overhead. Bruce found himself moving toward her. 

But as Bruce took his first step towards her, her gaze drifted from the ceiling to directly at him. As he got closer, he realized that it was almost as if her appearance was shifting; one moment she appeared to be Bruce’s age, the next, maybe Alfred’s. Her hair was dark as the night sky, but there were seconds where Bruce felt he could see purple highlights, but then they’d change to silver. It was obvious this woman was some sort of meta, and while there was the major rumor that the Batman had a ‘no meta’ rule for Gotham, it was actually untrue. He didn’t mind metas and even helped sponsor several that came to take shelter in Gotham. It was merely people thinking the Batman was too overprotective of Gotham that fed the rumor. But Bruce took pride in his city and did truly want it to be a better place for people, metas included. 

After what felt like a lifetime, Bruce finally stood in front of the mysterious woman; somewhere along the way, he had put down the still full flute of champagne. Her full attention was now on the man who stood in front of her. It took a moment to notice, but Bruce could swear the world around them had started to slow down and grew dull on the edge of his vision.

“Good evening. I don’t believe we have met before. Bruce Wayne,” Bruce offered his hand to shake hers, but she did not accept it. He did not let that dissuade him, however. The woman’s gaze turned from observation to what felt like amusement. With her dark eyes on him, Bruce remembered the feeling he felt earlier of being seen through all of his masks. Could she have been the one who was observing him? 

“You’re not on the guest list,” The corners of the woman’s mouth tilted upward to a slight smile.

“No,” Her voice was soft and low, but whatever was bubbling around them like a spell was making all of the party noises seem like eerie whispers and music. It made Bruce hear her words with perfect quality.

“I rarely appear on such lists. But I imagine you make a habit of knowing who enters your domain,”

“Something like that,” Up close, the strange appearance shifting Bruce had noticed from across the room was even harder to ignore. Her features refused to settle. For a moment, she looked teenaged, but then when she tilted her head slightly, her mien changed, and there were faint lines at the corner of her eyes that spoke of a far older age. Bruce had met metas before, but none were quite like this woman.

The woman’s gaze drifted past Bruce, toward the dance floor, but he had the distinct impression that she wasn’t really looking at it or its people. Then, a moment passed, and her gaze returned upward.

“You built this room to remember someone,” It wasn’t a question. Bruce followed her stare. He wasn’t sure which one she was looking at, but the closest one was supposed to resemble Pisces. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to feel that usual quiet ache that always accompanied the memory of his mother pointing toward the night sky.

“Yes,” The woman’s eyes scanned each chandelier for another moment.

“Constellations. Stories immortalized where people could not reach them,” Bruce glanced back at her.

“You recognize the design?”

“I recognize the stories,” The answer came with a hint of nostalgia, or maybe it was something more akin to mourning. Her eyes finally landed back on Bruce, and he noticed that her irises were almost black with purple and silver flecks dancing across her eyes. Her gaze held his, and Bruce had the strange sensation that she was measuring him against something older than the room or even the city outside the windows.

“Stories matter. Even when people forget them,” Bruce studied her more carefully. The shifting quality of her appearance was even more unsettling up close. Age was sliding across her features like light across water. There was a faint silver thread pattern to her black silk dress that he never noticed from afar. And the pendant of her necklace he caught sight of from across the room but couldn’t make out was an intriguing maze-like pattern with a star at the center. Something felt familiar about the pattern, but Bruce couldn’t place it.

“You sound like someone who’s spent a lot of time listening to stories,” The faint smile on her face returned, but this time there was something almost knowing in it.

“I’ve heard and seen many stories. Some still being written,” The woman stepped a little closer to him, not enough to be improper. But just enough that Bruce became aware of the faint scent around her; it wasn’t a perfume but more of a mixture of different aromas. He could detect smoke, myrrh, and petrichor.

“You have been watching me,” Bruce’s tone wasn’t accusatory, just a simple observation.

“Yes,” There was no hesitation in the woman’s answer. Bruce waited for elaboration, but she offered none. 

“Most people who watch me eventually want something from me,” Bruce folded his hands loosely behind his back. Her head tilted slightly, her expression thoughtful.

“And if I do?”

“Then we negotiate. That’s how these evenings usually work,” A soft breath escaped her that might be considered a laugh.

“You misunderstand. I have no interest in your money, Bruce Wayne,” Her gaze drifted briefly to the dance floor where the world was still slowed, making the dancers’ movements seem uncanny.

“Most people say that before they ask for it,” The woman stared deeply into Bruce’s cerulean eyes, her own dark eyes reflecting the scattered lights of the chandeliers above them. For a brief second, Bruce could have sworn the tiny light reflections looked like the flickering of flames instead of electric bulbs.

“You assume I am here to take something,”

“Experience suggests that’s usually the safe assumption,” An amused grin replaced the faint smile.

“Perhaps I am here to give something instead,” Bruce studied her carefully. People rarely spoke to him so directly without eventually revealing an angle. Yet there was no impatience in her posture, no nervous shifting or subtle signals that she was building toward a request. But she didn’t look offended by Bruce’s words; in fact, she almost looked amused.

“Your caution is sensible, but it is misplaced tonight,” Bruce did his best to not react to her words. He didn’t want to believe her, but there was something deep inside Bruce that told him  that what the woman spoke of was true. Whatever spell that was around the two of them was starting to mess with Bruce’s head; the uncanny movements of the party-goers, their eerie whispers, and even the strong quartet’s music sounded far off, almost like it was underwater.

“However, most people are not standing where you are keeping sentry, Bruce Wayne,” Bruce arched an eyebrow.

“Which is where exactly?”

“At a crossroads,” Bruce held her steady gaze for a moment, searching for any hint of mockery or manipulation. He found neither. Only that same measuring look, as though she was examining not just the man standing in front of her, but the long shadow of choices trailing behind him.

“Most people would call this a fundraiser,” There was a crinkle to her nose and another huff of a laugh that came from the woman, showing that she was amused with Bruce’s response.

“Call it what you must, but a crossroads is rarely obvious while you’re standing at one,” Bruce’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Everyone stands at a crossroads eventually. That’s hardly unusual,” The woman tilted her head at his words.

“Yes, most people reach one once or twice in their lives. You, however, stand at them constantly,” The woman took another step closer, the scent of smoke and damp earth was slightly stronger. 

“Every night you choose between justice and vengeance, mercy and punishment, and the man you portray yourself as or the creature you have created,” Bruce did not move, forcing himself to not react. Very few people spoke to him like this and even fewer with such certainty. 

“You’re making a lot of assumptions about someone you’ve just met,” 

“Have I?” For a moment, the lights above them flickered, but even in their slowed down state, the party did not react. 

“Who are you?” The woman regarded him for a long moment, as if deciding something. 

“Someone who has been watching the story you’re writing,” 

“I wasn’t aware I was writing one,” 

“Oh, you are. All mortals do,” Mortals. What a strange way to refer to a person or people in general. It reminded Bruce of how Diana would speak sometimes. The stories she would tell the members of the Justice League of how the gods of the ancient worlds were very much real and liked to walk amongst the mortals. 

“And what story do you think I’m writing?” 

“One about a man who tries to hold back the darkness enveloping his city with his bare hands,”

“Someone has to,” Bruce held her gaze. The purple and silver flecks he had noticed in her eyes before were starting to circle around her pupil, almost like a halo.

“Yes. For centuries, people have written stories about men like you. Men who believe they can outlast the night by sheer will alone,” Her tone was that of mourning again.

“And how do those stories usually end?”

“Poorly,” Bruce huffed softly, not quite a laugh.

“Then I suppose I’ll have to write a different ending,” That earned him another one of those small, knowing smiles from the woman.

“Perhaps you shall,” For the first time since this strange conversation began, Bruce felt a subtle shift in the air around them. The woman raised her hand slowly as if she were trying not to startle him. She didn’t touch him yet, just hovering above his wrist.

“Tell me, Bruce Wayne, if the darkness you fight were deeper than you believed, would you stand your ground?”

“Yes,” Bruce’s response was immediate with no hesitation. The woman studied him for another long moment, and then she nodded once while looking pleased.

“As I suspected,” The woman took that last step to stand beside Bruce while they both faced the opened balcony doors. Bruce frowned slightly.

“Suspected what?”

“That you are precisely the sort of man who belongs at a crossroads,” Before Bruce could respond, she finally grabbed his wrist. The contact was so light that Bruce could barely feel her. But when she grabbed him, it was like the world around them had glitched. Bruce could no longer see or hear the party around them. What replaced the sounds was an overbearing silence mixed with crackling of fire torches; if he focused hard enough, he could almost make out whispered chanting, but it sounded so far away. Where he once stood in front of the balcony doors looking out onto Gotham, Bruce found himself impossibly standing in a long cobblestone corridor just outside of a large room. In the room, there were three new pathways with nothing but torchlights leading the way. Just as Bruce was about to take the first step into that room, he felt a sharp pain digging into his wrist where he remembered the woman was holding onto him. Bruce turned his head to look at her once more and the corridor around him fractured and changed back into the ballroom at Wayne Tower.

“My apologies, Bruce Wayne. There are more enjoyable ways that my kin would go about this. But I prefer my own way,” The woman let go of Bruce’s wrist, making him look down at it. Where her hand once was, there was a long scratch that was lightly bleeding. Honestly, he had been scratched worst by some of Selina’s strays. When Bruce looked back up again, the woman was watching him with the same quiet scrutiny she had shown since the beginning of their conversation. 

The ballroom surroundings were beginning to return; the music of the string quartet sped up into a song Bruce could almost recognize, everyone’s voices were correcting and he could slightly distinguish words once more and the once uncanny movement picked up their tempo. The woman took a few steps away from Bruce and made to step out onto the balcony.

“Wait, you still haven’t answered my question,” Bruce’s voice made her pause just in the door frame. She looked over her shoulder, not quite turning fully back to him.

“Which one?”

“Who you are,” She took a moment to consider how to answer.

“Once, people left offerings for me at places where travelers needed to choose their paths. My name has been spoken in many languages. Most of them are no longer remembered,” Bruce furrowed his brow again.

“That’s not an answer,” Her lips quirked up faintly.

“No. But it is the one you will receive tonight,” For a moment, she turned back to the balcony, taking in the sight of Gotham. Then, she turned back to Bruce.

“You asked what I wanted from you,”

“Yes. But you said you were going to give something instead,”

“Yes,” She gestured toward the city behind her.

“You guard this place,”

“I try,”

“The world is thinner than you realize. Here, especially,” Bruce had heard something like this before. Members of Justice League Dark, John Constantine mostly, have told Batman that he needed to be careful with Gotham; that something was wrong with the city and its people. Considering that next to Superman, Bruce had the second largest roster of rogues. So even though he didn’t want to admit it, the Batman did agree that there was something wrong with his city. He was doing his best; he had Dick and Barbara helping, he had the trust of Commissioner Gordon and most of his police force, and then of course, he had Alfred and Lucius making sure both the manor and the Wayne Foundation kept going.

“You’re being very vague,”

“Yes. Clarity tends to frighten mortals,” Bruce felt like a call to Diana was going to be needed in the morning. Maybe, she would have some insight on who Bruce was talking to.

“Let’s assume I’m not frightened,” Her smile sharpened.

“No. You rarely are,” The woman took a step closer, near enough to see those strange flecks of silver and purple in her eyes.

“So why?” The woman tilted her head at Bruce’s question.

“Because shadows answer the call from other shadows,” Bruce’s frown deepened, not in confusion but thoughtful.

“That’s poetic. But it doesn’t explain why you’re here,” Her smile softened and she looked away.

“You stand where paths divide, Bruce Wayne. Men like you always do. Few walk away from those places unchanged,” She looked back up into Bruce’s blue eyes.

“And they always leave something behind,” Bruce opened his mouth to speak, but she lifted a hand gently, forestalling him.

“I have watched you long enough. You guard this city as if it were a living being. As if its wounds were your own,”

“They are,” A flicker of something approving crossed her features.

“Like Theseus, when a man goes into a labyrinth of their choosing, they must always have a guide,” Bruce could vaguely recall the myth of Theseus and the Minotaur. The legend was that it was Ariadne’s string that helped the man through the labyrinth to locate the beast.

“Is that what this is? You will be my guide?” She let out another soft laugh.

“No, it will not be me. But they will be my gift to you. Make sure you treasure them,” The woman took a few steps backwards, walking out onto the balcony. Bruce made to follow her but someone clapped him on his shoulder, taking his attention away for just a moment. When he turned back to the balcony, it was empty.

When Bruce went to look at the security footage later, he found no traces of a woman in a black silk dress. He looked at himself in the clip; he had stood at the balcony doors alone for only two minutes before the board member had tapped him on the shoulder. Bruce had done his best to try and remember the conversation he had with the strange woman, but the memory of it already felt distant, like something half-remembered from a dream. Maybe, it was; he was stressed with burning the candles at both ends, trying to keep Gotham safe with both versions of himself.

XXX

One Year Later

XXX

The rain had started sometime before dawn, making the acres of land that the Wayne Manor resided on be swallowed up by a thick mist. Wayne Manor was currently quiet as Alfred went about his morning routine. He knew that Master Wayne was already up and getting ready to come out of his room for breakfast while Young Master Dick was doing his morning exercises in the home gym. The two of them knew the time their butler always placed their meals on the tables. The Englishman was just as much a creature of habit as them.

Alfred had just finished putting down the cutlery on the table when the doorbell rang. He paused, a confused look appearing on his face. It was much too early for any visitors. He set down the last fork and made his way toward the front room. He opened the large oak doors, only to find no one standing there. Alfred almost closed the doors to go check the security feed when a small crying noise made him pause. The butler looked down.

There was a black wicker basket nestled against the front door, protected from the rain by the overhang. Dark cloth had been carefully tucked around its moving contents. Alfred bent down, his curiosity overtaking caution. 

Inside the basket was a newborn child. The infant stirred faintly as Alfred lifted the edge of the blanket. The cloth was soft and black with a faint silver stitching that shimmered from the manor’s lights. Around the baby’s neck was a long necklace, its pendant had a strange maze-like pattern with a star at its center.

“Alfred? Is someone at the door?” Master Bruce’s voice came from behind his butler, making the older man turn his head. The man walked over to Alfred and looked where his butler had been staring. His cerulean eyes went wide.

“Well, it would appear, sir, that you have acquired a child,” Bruce knelt down, taking the baby’s blanket in his own hands to move it aside. The babe opened their eyes as he carefully lifted them from the basket. They quieted down as the man adjusted his grip to hold them. A tiny hand grasped the front of his shirt and tiny black eyes stared up at Bruce. He could have sworn he could see flecks of silver and purple swirling around their dark irises. Somewhere in the back of Bruce’s mind, a dream of a memory stirred.

“They will be my gift to you. Make sure you treasure them,”

Bruce caressed the baby’s chubby cheeks. The gentle touch made the infant coo and above Alfred and Bruce, the foyer lights flickered slightly.

“Y/N,” Bruce turned to Alfred, who was holding the basket in one hand and in the other was what seemed like a letter.

“That’s their name. Y/N. And they’re yours supposedly,” Bruce knew a DNA kit would need to be taken, but something inside him told him that the child he was holding truly was his.

“Y/N Wayne, huh? Come on then, let’s get you inside,” Bruce stepped back fully into the foyer with the baby still in his arms.

Neither man noticed the figure of the woman who was using the fog as a cover. Her features were shifting, but nothing took away the gentle smile on her face as she watched her child be accepted into the Wayne Manor.

Oh, Y/N Wayne, what a story you will become.

[ourseasone]

CHAPTER O5 ━━━ Gojo Satoru Is the Real Menace

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The walk to the Eastern Wall was... strange.

Not bad, necessarily. Just strange. The kind of strange that made you hyperaware of every tiny detail you usually filtered out — the way your footsteps slightly echoed off the ancient stone pathways, the precise angle of the morning sun casting long shadows across the meticulously maintained gardens, the distant sound of someone practicing with a wooden weapon in one of the training yards.

Clan members bowed as you passed.

Every single one of them.

Their eyes lowered respectfully, their greetings soft and reverent, their bodies positioned to show proper deference to the precious heir of the Okada clan. It was a dance you had grown accustomed to over the past four years in this world — the constant distance, the careful respect, the way people treated you like something sacred rather than someone just trying to exist.

"Young Master Y/N."

"Good morning, Young Master."

"May the ancestors guide your path today, Young Master."

You nodded mechanically in return, the appropriate response drilled into you by years of etiquette lessons; a slight incline of the head, a brief meeting of eyes, a small acknowledgment before simply moving on.

But today, after everything that had happened this morning, it felt really different — heavier.

If they knew, you thought, watching a pair of servants practically press themselves against the wall to get out of your path. If they knew what I just did in my bedroom. If they knew what I am—what I'm becoming. Would they still bow? Would they still murmur all of those pretty words about ancestors and guidance?

Or would they run?

You didn't know the answer, and honestly, you weren't really sure you wanted to.

Your small hands curled into fists at your sides as you walked, the memory of the belt still very fresh in your mind. Five times. You'd died five times in the span of ten minutes, and here you were, walking through the clan compound like absolutely nothing had happened, like you weren't carrying the weight of eternity in your four-year-old chest.

Focus, idiot. You can't think about that now. You need to focus on what's ahead.

And what's ahead is Gojo Satoru.

That simple thought — absurd as it was — really helped. It grounded you in the present, pulled you away from the dark spiral your mind wanted so badly to tumble into. Gojo Satoru was waiting. Gojo Satoru had questions. Gojo Satoru was probably getting impatient, and an impatient Gojo was, according to Shinji, a terrifying prospect.

The Eastern Wall appeared before you quickly enough, exactly as you remembered it — tall and ancient, covered in protective seals that hummed with constant energy.

You climbed.

The rough stone was familiar under your small hands and feet, the handholds worn smooth by generations of use. You moved quickly, efficiently, the way you'd learned to move in this body — carefully, deliberately, with an awareness of your physical limitations that most four-year-olds wouldn't have.

At the top, you paused for just a moment, looking out over the forest beyond.

Last night, this view had been terrifying. The darkness had seemed to press in from all sides, the trees looming like silent witnesses to your impending death. Now, in the clear morning light, it just looked like a forest. Trees and undergrowth and birds singing and—

Oh.

The destruction.

From up here, you could see the full extent of the damage from last night's fight. It was really... extensive. A wide swath of forest had been simply destroyed — trees splintered like toothpicks, the ground gouged and scarred, a perfect circle of devastation radiating outward from the clearing where the cursed spirit had made its stand. Even from this distance, even in broad daylight, the place felt wrong, charged with residual energy, and marked by violence in a way that the rest of the forest wasn't.

I did that, you thought numbly. Well, me and the spirit. But mostly the spirit. But I survived it. I killed it.

The thought still didn't feel real.

You dropped down from the wall, landing softly in the forest loam, and made your way toward the destruction.

The closer you got, the worse it looked. Trees that had stood for decades, maybe centuries, lay broken and scattered like a child's toys. The ground was torn up in massive furrows where the spirit's attacks had carved through the earth. And everywhere — everywhere — there was a lingering sense of wrongness. Like the forest itself was holding its breath, waiting for something else to happen.

You walked through it carefully, your golden eyes scanning your surroundings with the hyper-vigilance of someone who had already died here twice and had no desire to repeat the experience.

And that's when you saw him.

Standing at the edge of the destruction, leaning casually against a relatively intact tree with his arms crossed and his weight on one leg, was Gojo Satoru.

The white-haired teen, just like last night, was still wearing his school uniform — the familiar dark jacket, the high-collared shirt, and the perfectly tailored pants. He still had that little annoying smug smile curving his lips, and he was still looking at you with those impossible blue eyes that saw far too much and revealed far too little.

And, oh, he was wearing his sunglasses today. Round, dark lenses that hid those legendary eyes from view, making him look almost normal.

Well, almost.

"You came."

His voice was casual, light, but there was something underneath it — a genuine warmth, a pleased surprise that he couldn't quite hide. He pushed off from the tree, his movements unhurried, and walked toward you.

"I wasn't really sure you would. You seemed pretty determined to pass out and forget everything last night."

You stopped a few meters away, maintaining what you hoped was a safe distance. Not because you thought Gojo would hurt you — if Gojo Satoru wanted to hurt you, there was literally nothing you could do to stop it — but because you needed the space to think. To process. To figure out what the hell you were supposed to say to the most powerful sorcerer in the world.

"You were waiting for me?"

His smile widened.

"For about an hour. Maybe two. Time passes weirdly when you're bored, you know? One minute you're thinking 'okay, I'll just wait a little while', and the next minute you've counted all the leaves on three different trees and started naming the birds that fly past."

He approached casually, stopping when he was close enough to be conversational but not so close that you felt crowded. It was a surprisingly considerate distance, and you filed that observation away for later.

"But hey, you're here now. That's what matters."

He looked you up and down, those sunglasses doing absolutely nothing to hide the intensity of his gaze. You could feel it — the weight of those Six Eyes assessing you, cataloging you, filing away information that you yourself probably didn't even know yet.

"You look way better than last night, golden boy. Less like you're about to die."

Well, about that—

"I slept," you said, which was technically true.

You had slept. You'd also died five times, but that wasn't the kind of thing you led with in casual conversation.

"Good. Sleeping is important," he nodded sagely, then immediately contradicted himself. "I don't sleep much, personally. Too many things to think about, too much going on in my head. But I'm also young and stupid, so maybe don't take advice from me."

You filed that away too. Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer in the world, didn't sleep much. That explained... something. You weren't sure what yet, but it felt important.

The two of you simply stood there for a quiet moment, the morning light filtering through the damaged trees, the silence stretching between you. Your mind was racing, trying to figure out where to start, what to ask, how to navigate this impossible situation.

And then you remembered.

The timeline. I need to know where we are in the timeline.

It was crucial information. If you knew when you were, you could possibly prepare for what was coming, and also know if important events had already happened without your knowledge — The Star Plasma Vessel, Hidden Inventory, Geto's descent into darkness, all of it — if you knew the exact timing, you could plan, could position yourself, could maybe (maybe) make a difference, because you know now that you have little choice but to become involved in the original story.

"How young?" the question came out before you could second-guess it. "I mean—how old are you?"

Gojo raised an eyebrow — the part above his sunglasses, visible and expressive. "I'm fifteen. You?"

You blinked.

Fifteen?

You examined the teen in front of you with fresh eyes, reassessing everything you thought you knew. Gojo Satoru was tall for fifteen, sure, but that was genetics. His confidence, his power, his presence — those somehow made him seem older, more established. But underneath all of that, if you looked closely, you could see it. The youth. The inexperience. The fact that he was still just a kid, really, despite everything.

Fifteen means first year at Jujutsu High, and first year means Geto Suguru is alive. First year means the really heavy stuff is still in the future.

In a year or two, maybe. You didn't remember exactly.

The wave of relief that washed through you was almost embarrassing in its intensity. You had time. Not a lot, maybe, but some. You had time to figure out what you were, what you could do, how you fit into this world. You had time to prepare for the chaos that was coming.

"I'm... four years old," you finally answered.

Gojo chuckled softly, showing all his perfectly white teeth. It was a genuine sound, warm and amused.

"Yeah, I think you told me that last night. You're really tiny," he started walking, gesturing for you to follow. "Come on. There's a place nearby I like. Way better than this creepy destruction zone. Standing here too long is probably bad for your health, honestly. Residual cursed energy, negative impressions, all that stuff."

You simply watched Gojo for a little moment — this ridiculous, powerful, surprisingly thoughtful teenager — and then followed.

The place Gojo took you was a small clearing about ten minutes into the forest, far enough from the destruction that the trees were whole and the ground was undisturbed. It was peaceful in a way that made your shoulders relax without you even realizing they'd been tense.

A stream ran along one edge, its water clear and cold-looking, chuckling over smooth stones in a way that was almost musical. Wildflowers dotted the grass in colors you'd never seen before — deep purples and bright yellows and soft pinks that seemed to glow in the dappled sunlight. A fallen tree trunk provided a natural bench, worn smooth by time and weather. And the sunlight filtering through the canopy made everything soft and warm, like stepping into a painting.

Gojo immediately claimed the trunk, stretching out on it with the casual ownership of someone who had never been told 'no' in his entire life.

But you found yourself wondering how the hell Gojo had discovered such a heavenly place.

"See? It's nice, right?" Gojo patted the space beside him. "I found it a month ago when I was supposed to be on a mission. Got bored, wandered off instead of going straight back, and boom—hidden paradise. The mission report said 'no complications', so technically I wasn't lying."

You hesitated only a few seconds before climbing onto the trunk. It was a bit high for your short legs, so you ended up kind of dangling, your feet swinging above the grass. It was undignified, but Gojo didn't comment or laugh, which was... nice. Considerate, even.

For a while, you just sat there.

The stream babbled, the birds sang, and the sunlight shifted slowly through the leaves. It was peaceful in a way that you hadn't felt since... well, since ever, in this life. There was no pressure here, no expectations, no one watching you, waiting for you to be something.

Just a clearing, a stream — and Gojo Satoru.

"So."

Gojo broke the peaceful silence eventually, his voice casual but with an undercurrent of something you couldn't quite identify.

"I have about a million questions. Like, literally a million. I counted. But I'll try to pace myself so I don't overwhelm you," he paused, then grinned. "Actually, no, I'm definitely going to overwhelm you. I'm warning you in advance so you can prepare mentally. That's fair, right?"

You sighed, already exhausted just imagining it.

"Okay."

"Great! Okay, first question—and this is super important, possibly the most important question I'll ask all day—do you like sweets?"

You blinked.

"Huh?"

The expression on your face must have been something, because Gojo's grin widened.

Your brain, which had been preparing for questions about what happened last night, your technique, your blood, your eyes, your connection to the Okada clan, how the hell you defeated an incredibly strong cursed spirit at only four years old — basically all the things that mattered — completely short-circuited. This wasn't at all what you expected.

"Sweets. You know, candy, cake, desserts, all that stuff. Do you like them?" Gojo was looking at you with more than sincere curiosity, as if this were genuinely the most pressing question in the entire universe. "It's really important. I need to know these things."

"I mean... yeah? I guess?"

"Oh, excellent! Me too!" Gojo's whole face lit up. "Sweets are the best thing ever. If I could only eat sweets for the rest of my life, I would. The elders in my clan hate it—they're always like 'Gojo-sama, you must maintain a balanced diet' and 'Gojo-sama, sugar is harmful to your health' and 'Gojo-sama, think of your teeth' and blah blah blah."

Gojo waved his hand dismissively, the gesture somehow managing to convey exactly how much he cared about the elders' opinions.

"Whatever. I'm the strongest. I can eat what I want. If I want to eat cake for breakfast, I eat cake for breakfast. If I want mochi for dinner, I eat mochi for dinner. It's my body, my choice, you know?"

You found yourself fighting a smile.

There was something genuinely endearing about this side of Gojo Satoru — the fifteen-year-old boy who just really liked sweets and truly didn't understand why everyone was so concerned about his diet.

"That's... very logical."

"Right? Finally, someone who understands!" Gojo grinned widely. "Okay, okay, next question—do you have any friends? Like, real friends. You know, not just clan people who have to be nice to you because you're the heir and they're scared of your family?"

The question caught you off guard.

Friends.

You thought about your first life — the boring office job, the colleagues whose names you couldn't remember (and honestly, couldn't care less about), the complete absence of anyone who truly knew you, who could tell what you loved, and what you hated. You thought about evenings spent alone in your small apartment, eating takeout and watching videos, convincing yourself that you preferred solitude.

You thought about this life — the servants who bowed the moment they saw you, the clan elders who watched your every move, the cousins who competed for your attention with smiles that never quite reached their eyes.

"No," you said softly. "Not really."

Well, there's Shinji, you thought, even though you're not really sure if you can call him a friend. But I definitely can't mention that.

Gojo nodded slowly, his expression shifting into something almost serious. The playful energy dimmed, replaced by something quieter, more reflective.

"Yeah. Me neither."

The teenager was quiet for a moment, looking at the stream. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, more honest than you'd heard it so far.

"I mean, there's this guy at school—Geto Suguru. He's in my class. We're partners for missions and stuff. And he's... I don't know. He's different from the others. He doesn't treat me like I'm weird or scary or some kind of god. He just treats me like a person, you know? Like I'm just some guy he happens to be partnered with."

A small pause. The stream babbled on, indifferent.

"It's really nice. But I wouldn't say we're friends yet. Not really. Not like people mean when they say 'friends'. We're still figuring each other out, still learning how to be around each other. It's... a process."

You listened, saying nothing.

You knew Geto Suguru very well. You'd read the manga, watched the anime, absorbed every detail of that tragic, complicated character. And honestly, you really liked him, and you would be so happy if you could meet him, even just once. You knew what Geto would become — the descent into darkness, the twisted ideology, the eventual betrayal. You knew that this budding connection Gojo was describing, this tentative almost-friendship, would eventually become something much deeper.

And then something much darker.

But that was the future. Years away, maybe. For now, Gojo Satoru was just a fifteen-year-old boy talking about a guy he might be friends with someday, his voice holding that particular mix of hope and uncertainty that came with any new relationship.

"That sounds like a good start," you said sincerely.

"Yeah, maybe," Gojo shrugged, then his whole face lit up again, the serious moment passing as quickly as it had come. "Okay, next question—what's your favorite food? And don't say something boring."

"Yakisoba!"

The answer came out enthusiastically, without thinking. Your face heated slightly as you realized how excited you'd sounded, but Gojo just looked interested.

"Really? That's so... normal. I thought you'd say something fancy. Like gold leaf sushi or diamond-encrusted mochi."

You stared at Gojo like he'd said the dumbest thing possible — which he had.

"I'm four years old."

"So? You're also the most important person in your clan. You could probably ask for anything and they'd just make it happen. With me, they do. Last week I asked for a specific type of strawberry that only grows in one prefecture, and three days later a box showed up. It's one of the few perks of being the clan heir."

You considered that.

It was true. You'd never really thought about it — well, to be honest, you'd never really wanted to think about it — but you could probably ask for almost anything and the clan would provide. It was quite a strange thought.

"Well, I like normal food. Yakisoba is good. It's warm and filling and the sauce is nice. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing's wrong with it," Gojo held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm just surprised, that's all. Most people in our position—heirs, important clan members, all that—they get really weird about food. They only want the rarest, the most expensive, the most exclusive. It's almost like they're trying to prove something."

Gojo tilted his head, studying you with those impossible blue eyes through his sunglasses.

"You're not like that at all. You're just... you. It's really refreshing, honestly."

You didn't know what to say to that, so you said nothing.

Gojo leaned back on the trunk, looking at the sky through the leaves. The sunlight played across his white hair, making it glow almost ethereally. For a moment, he looked less like the strongest sorcerer in the world and more like a normal teenager enjoying a nice day.

"Okay, your turn," he said. "Ask me something."

You hesitated.

There were so many things you wanted to know — about the exact timeline, about Geto and the other characters, about what had already happened and what was still waiting to come. You wanted to know everything with exact precision, even though you roughly knew the broad strokes. But you couldn't ask any of that without raising suspicion. Without making Gojo wonder why a four-year-old was so interested in the future of the jujutsu world.

So you asked something simple instead;

"What's Jujutsu High like?"

Gojo groaned dramatically, his head tipping back.

"Boring. Mostly, the classes are boring—all that stuff about history and theory and 'proper application of techniques'. The elders love that crap. They're always like 'you must understand the foundations before you can build upon them' and 'respect your predecessors' and 'tradition is important'."

Gojo waved his hand dismissively.

"But the missions are really cool. Going out, fighting curses, doing something useful. Actually seeing what all that training is for, you know?"

He paused, his expression shifting slightly.

"Well, most missions are cool. Some are just... sad. You see a lot of bad things out there. People getting hurt, places destroyed, curses feeding on all that negative energy. It's not all games and fun."

His voice softened, just slightly.

"Sometimes you see things you can't unsee. Things that stick with you."

You nodded slowly. You kind of already knew that. After all, you'd seen what this world did to people — the trauma, the loss, the endless cycle of violence and grief. But hearing Gojo talk about it, hearing the genuine weight in his voice, made it feel different. More... real.

"And the other students?" you asked, genuinely curious.

"There's Geto, like I mentioned. He's strong—really strong. Has this technique that lets him absorb and control curses. It's pretty impressive, honestly, even if he's annoying about it sometimes," Gojo's lips curved into a small smile. "And there's this girl, Shoko Ieiri. She has an insane reverse curse technique. She can heal almost anything—wounds, injuries, even some kinds of curse damage. Super useful to have around when things go wrong."

Gojo's smile widened into something genuinely warm.

"She's also the only person who's ever told me to shut the fuck up to my face. Multiple times, even. She doesn't care that I'm the Gojo clan heir or the strongest or any of those things. If I'm being annoying, she just says 'shut up, Gojo' and moves on. I respect that so much."

You chuckled despite yourself. "You do talk a lot."

"See? You're already fitting in," Gojo's grin was bright. "Has anyone else ever told you to shut up? Or are you too important for that?"

"My grandfather tells me to read more. That's kind of the opposite of shutting up."

"Old people love telling you to read," Gojo nodded sagely. "The elders in my clan have a whole library of texts about the Six Eyes and the Limitless, and they're always like 'Gojo-sama, you must study this' and 'Gojo-sama, understanding your heritage is crucial' and 'Gojo-sama, these texts contain wisdom you cannot afford to ignore'. And I'm just sitting there thinking, 'I already know how to use my powers better than you ever did. Why do I have to read about them?'"

Gojo rolled his eyes dramatically, and you laughed — a real laugh, small but genuine.

"That's so annoying."

"Right? It's like they think reading about something is the same as experiencing it. But it's not. You can read about fighting for a hundred years and still lose the first real battle you're in. Experience matters more than theory."

You nodded, because you understood that more than you wanted to admit.

The two of you fell into a comfortable rhythm after that.

Gojo was mostly the one talking — a lot, as you were quickly learning — and you listened, occasionally asking questions or offering comments.

The white-haired teen's mind jumped from topic to topic with dizzying speed, never staying on one thing for more than a few minutes before something else caught his attention; His favorite teachers at Jujutsu High? None. They were all boring and old and didn't understand anything. His least favorite missions? Ones with too much paperwork. His ongoing project of annoying all the elders in his clan? Apparently it was going very well. His theory that the higher-ups were all secretly incompetent and just pretended to know what they were doing? He was certain of it.

"—And the worst part is, they know damn well I'm way stronger than them. They know I could destroy everything they've built if I wanted to. But instead of being smart and leaving me alone, they just keep... poking. Making demands. Trying to control me."

Gojo shook his head, genuine frustration bleeding into his voice for the first time.

"It's like they want me to snap. Like they're testing me, seeing how far they can push before I break. And I won't break—I'm the strongest, I don't break—but sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just... stopped holding back. Stopped playing their games."

The teenager looked at you, his expression unreadable behind the sunglasses.

"Your clan probably does the same, right? Try to control you, tell you what to do, mold you into the 'perfect heir'?"

You thought about the elders, the training, the endless expectations. The way they watched your every move, cataloged your every development, measured you against the legacy of The First. The way they spoke about you like you were an investment rather than a person.

"Yeah," you said quietly. "You could say that. They want me to be the reincarnation of The First, the perfect holder of the Golden Eyes, the hope of the clan. They have all these immense expectations, all these plans for who I'm supposed to be, and I just..."

You trailed off, not sure how to finish the sentence.

"And you, what do you want?"

The question hung in the air between you.

What did you want?

In your first life, all you ever wanted was peace, quiet, and the freedom to exist without anyone expecting anything from you. You'd simply wanted to go to work (because you didn't really have much of a choice anyway), come home, and be completely left alone. No drama, no complications, no one depending on you.

In this life, you'd wanted the same thing — a peaceful existence as an ultra-rich person who never had to do anything in his entire life. You'd imagined growing up in luxury, never wanting for anything, simply existing without the pressures and expectations of your previous life.

But that wasn't going to happen, you knew that now.

"I don't know," you said honestly. "I just want to... exist. Without everyone watching my every move. Without everyone expecting something from me. I just want to be left alone to figure out who I am, without everyone telling me who I'm supposed to be."

Gojo nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful.

"Yeah. I get that."

He was silent for a moment, then added;

"You know, you're the first person who's said that and actually meant it. Most people, when they say they want to be left alone, they actually want attention. They want you to insist, to prove you care about them, to chase after them and show them they matter."

He looked at you with those piercing blue eyes.

"But you—you really mean it. You really want people to leave you the hell alone. You're not playing games. You're not testing anyone. You just want peace."

You chuckled softly at those words, looking at the stream. The water sparkled in the sunlight, flowing endlessly over the smooth stones.

"That's kind of sad, actually," Gojo continued, his voice softer now. "Being four years old and already tired of people. What happened to you?"

Oh, you have no idea, you thought. You have absolutely no idea.

"Nothing," you said with a small smile. "Just... born this way, I guess."

Gojo studied you for a long moment, those Six Eyes doing whatever they did behind those dark lenses. Then the teenager simply shrugged.

"Fine. Keep your secrets. I've got time," he stretched, cracking his neck in a way that looked almost painful. "Okay, new topic. What do you think about the color blue?"

You raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Blue. The color. What do you think of it?"

"Is... is that a real question?"

"All my questions are real," Gojo's expression was perfectly serious, but there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. "So? Blue. Thoughts. Go."

You considered the question.

It was absurd. Completely, utterly absurd. You'd just been talking about loneliness and expectations and the weight of being important clan heirs, and now Gojo wanted to know your thoughts on the color blue?

And yet, somehow, that absurdity made answering easier.

"I like it," you said. "It's not my favorite, but it's not bad. The sky is nice. Water, sometimes. Your eyes, I guess."

Gojo's eyebrows shot up above his sunglasses.

"My... eyes? You're really comparing my eyes to the sky and water?"

"They're blue."

"They're the Six Eyes. They're legendary. They're one of a kind in the entire world," Gojo paused, then grinned widely. "But yeah, they're also blue. Good point."

The teenager leaned forward, suddenly intense in that mercurial way of his.

"And what about gold? Your eyes are literally gold—what do you think of that?"

You touched the corner of your eye without thinking, a habit you'd developed over the years.

"It's... a lot. Everyone stares. Everyone has expectations. Sometimes I wish they were just normal. Brown, maybe. Something that wouldn't make people look at me like I'm already something I haven't become yet."

Sometimes I wish I could just have my old eyes back.

"Normal is boring," Gojo waved his hand dismissively. "Trust me. I've seen normal. Normal is gray and dull and easily forgettable. Your eyes—my eyes—they're the opposite of normal. That's a good thing."

"Really?"

Gojo considered this, his expression thoughtful.

"Honestly? I don't really know. Sometimes it really sucks. Sometimes I wish I could blend in, go unnoticed, not have everyone watching my every move. Sometimes I want to walk down the street and have people just... not care."

He paused, his voice dropping slightly.

"But then I remember that if I were normal, I couldn't do what I can do. I couldn't protect people. I couldn't make a difference. I'd just be another person, watching bad things happen without being able to stop them."

Gojo's voice was so soft now, sincere in a way that made your chest ache.

"I think being useless would be the real nightmare. Having the power to help and not using it. Watching people suffer and just... letting it happen because you're too scared or too selfish or too whatever."

You stared at him without saying anything.

This wasn't the arrogant, carefree Gojo Satoru from the manga. Oh, that version existed — and you'd seen glimpses of it already — but there was so much more underneath. This was someone who had thought about all these things, struggled with them, and come to his own conclusions about who he wanted to be and what he wanted to stand for. This wasn't just the character you had loved profoundly from afar; this was a real person, with real depth, real complexity, and real pain.

He's fifteen, you reminded yourself. He's fifteen and he's already carrying all of this. Already thinking about these things. Already trying to figure out who he wants to be.

"You're not useless," you said, and you meant it with every fiber of your being. "You're the opposite of useless."

Gojo blinked, then he simply laughed — a real laugh, warm and surprised.

"Thanks, little kid. That means a lot coming from someone who can barely reach the table."

"I can reach the table."

"Really? Prove it."

"That's stupid. There's not even a table here."

"Exactly! Now you're starting to understand," Gojo's smile was back, wide and bright and somehow warm despite everything. "Stupid questions, stupid answers, stupid conversations—that's what friends do, right? Just talk about nothing? Just exist together without it having to mean something in particular?"

You thought about it.

In your first life, you'd never really had conversations like this. Actually, you never had anyone to talk to about nothing. It was always work, always obligation, always people wanting something from you. Even the very few people you'd considered acquaintances had expectations, had reasons for spending time with you.

( And now that you thought about it from an outside perspective, you were relatively lonely in your first life. )

But this? Sitting in a beautiful clearing, talking about colors and sweets and simply stupid theories? This was different. This was just... being.

"Yeah," you said slowly. "I think that's what friends do."

Gojo's expression softened, just slightly.

"Good. Then we're doing it right."

The conversation drifted after that, meandering through topics that made no sense and mattered completely.

Gojo launched into an elaborate theory about cats being secretly smarter than humans;

"Think about it—they've got us completely trained. We feed them, clean up after them, give them warm places to sleep, and what do they do in return? Absolutely nothing. They just exist and we're okay with it. That's not dumb animal behavior. That's genius-level manipulation."

You countered that dogs were better because they actually showed affection;

"Cats are just... there. They tolerate you at best. Dogs actually love you. They get so excited when you come home. They want to be with you."

"That's just because dogs are desperate," Gojo argued. "They'd love anyone who fed them. Cats are selective. If a cat chooses you, it means something."

"It means you're the one who feeds it."

"Same thing!"

This led to a twenty-minute debate on pet preferences that somehow circled back to cursed techniques, then to Gojo's ongoing project of inventing a new sweet that would completely change the world.

"—And it'll have, like, five layers of different flavors, and the texture will be absolutely perfect, and everyone who tastes it will immediately understand that I'm a genius!" Gojo was waving his hands around excitedly, nearly falling off the tree trunk in the process. "I'm going to call it Gojo's Special Supreme Delight."

"Oh my god, that's a terrible name."

"It's an amazing name! You just have bad taste."

"I have great taste. Your name is just bad."

"Oh yeah? What would you call it, then?"

You thought for a second, a small smile tugging at your lips.

"Golden-Eyed Delight."

Gojo silently stared at you for a moment, and then he just completely burst out laughing.

It was loud and genuine, a sound that echoed through the clearing and startled a few birds from the nearby trees. He doubled over, one hand clutching his stomach, the other waving vaguely in your direction. There were actual tears pricking at the corners of his eyes — you could see them even behind the sunglasses.

"You—" Gojo gasped between laughs. "You'd name it after yourself? That's so arrogant! I love it!"

"I'm not arrogant. I'm just... accurate?"

"Accurate," Gojo wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. "Sure. Keep telling yourself that, little kid."

The two of you were silent for a moment, Gojo slowly catching his breath. The sun had moved noticeably in the sky while you'd been talking; you weren't really sure how much time had passed. Hours, maybe. It felt like you'd been there both a short while and an eternity.

"Hey, Y/N?"

Gojo's voice was softer now, the laughter fading into something more serious.

"Yeah?"

"That blood thing you did last night. The golden stuff," Gojo's expression wasn't threatening — just curious, genuinely interested. "Can you do it on purpose? Like, if you wanted to right now, could you make it happen?"

Oh.

You'd almost forgotten about that. All this stupid, childish conversation with Gojo had almost made you forget you weren't normal, it almost made you forget the golden blood and the deaths and the weight of eternity. Almost.

You considered the question.

You hadn't tried since last night, and you hadn't really thought about it either, honestly, with everything else that had happened — the deaths, the meeting, the conversation. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"I don't know," you admitted. "Maybe? I'd have to... focus, I think. Concentrate."

"You want to try?"

You hesitated.

Showing more of your abilities to Gojo felt dangerous. It felt like revealing too much, giving away pieces of yourself that you weren't ready to share. But Gojo had already seen you at your worst — he had already witnessed the blood responding to your will, and he hadn't run, he hadn't tried to capture you or experiment on you or report you to the higher-ups. He'd just... asked questions. Talked about nothing. Been a person.

He's not a threat, you realized. Not to me. Not like this.

"Okay," you said.

You closed your eyes.

You focused, trying to reach for that feeling you'd had last night — the warmth spreading through your veins, the awareness of your blood as something more than just blood, the way it had responded to your will like an extension of yourself. You thought about the thread, the way it had extended from your palm to the cursed spirit's anchor, the feeling of connection and control.

Nothing happened.

You concentrated harder, reaching deeper, trying to find that place inside yourself where the power lived.

But still nothing.

You opened your eyes. Gojo was watching you with an expression of intense curiosity, head tilted slightly, sunglasses doing nothing to hide his focus.

"No luck?" the teen asked.

You shook your head, frustration building in your chest.

"It worked last night. I don't know why it won't—"

"You were fighting for your life last night."

Gojo's interruption was gentle, not dismissive.

"Adrenaline, fear, desperation—all of that sometimes makes techniques easier to activate. It's like your body knows you need it, so it just... gives you what you need. Bypasses all the mental blocks, all the hesitation, all the doubt."

He shrugged, the gesture casual but his words careful.

"Trying to do it on purpose, when you're calm and safe, is way harder. Trust me. I've been there. When I was first learning to use the Limitless, I could only do it when I was scared or angry. It took years of practice to be able to use it whenever I wanted."

You blinked. That was... actually sensible. Practical advice from someone who had been through it.

"So I just need to practice?"

"Yep, exactly. Practice, practice, practice. That's the boring part of being a sorcerer," Gojo's grin returned. "Anyone can fight when they're about to die. The real skill is being able to use your techniques when you want to, wherever you are, no matter what."

Gojo paused, then added, almost casually;

"And I can help with that, if you want."

You looked at him. "Help how?"

"I'm the strongest," Gojo said it simply, without arrogance — just a fact. "I have the Six Eyes. I can see things about techniques that most people can't—how they form, how they flow, where they get stuck. I could help you figure out what you can do. Help you practice. Help you understand."

He shrugged, trying to look casual, but there was something hopeful in his expression; something almost vulnerable.

"And in exchange, you keep being interesting and talking to me about nothing. Deal?"

You stared at him for a very long moment.

Gojo Satoru — fifteen years old, already the strongest of his generation, and already alone despite being surrounded by people — was casually offering to be your personal teacher, your friend, your something.

Why?

The question formed in your mind, and before you could stop yourself, it came out of your mouth.

"Why? Why do you care about this? About me?"

Gojo was silent for a little moment, and when he spoke, his voice was full of sincerity — no jokes, no deflecting, no hiding behind his usual facade.

"Because you're the first person in a long time who doesn't look at me like I'm either a god or a monster. You just look at me... like a person."

He met your golden eyes with his impossible blue ones.

"And that's rare. That's really, really rare. And I don't want to lose that."

You felt something break in your chest — something you'd kept closed for a long time. Maybe your whole life. A wall you hadn't even realized you'd built, protecting yourself from the possibility of connection, of caring, of being hurt.

He's alone, you thought. He's as alone as I am.

[ He's right. ]

Shinji's voice was soft in your mind, gentle but firm.

[ You're going to need allies. Gojo Satoru is the best possible ally you could have at this stage. His power, his position, his knowledge—all of it will be invaluable. ]

[ But more than that... ]

[ He's offering you something real. Something genuine. ]

[ Don't throw that away because you're scared. ]

You took a breath, then a second one.

"Okay," you said.

Gojo's face lit up. "Okay? Really? Just like that?"

"What would be the point of arguing?" you shrugged — a small, tired gesture. "You've already decided. You're not going to leave me alone until you get what you want. I can tell. You're stubborn."

"I prefer 'persistent'."

"Same thing."

"Fair," Gojo grinned widely. "But still—okay? You're really okay with this?"

You hesitated, then continued.

"And... you're right. I'm going to need help. I can't figure this out on my own. And you're—" you paused, searching for the right words. "You're not what I expected. You're actually... nice. When you're not being annoying."

Gojo's grin widened into something almost blinding.

"This is going to be great. I'm going to teach you so many things. We're going to train so hard. You're going to be amazing—I can already tell."

"Don't push me too hard. I'm four."

"Details," Gojo waved his hand dismissively. "Age is just a number. Power is power. And you've got power—I can see it. We just need to unlock it."

You sighed. "I'm going to regret this so much."

"Probably," Gojo's smile didn't waver. "But it's going to be so fun. Trust me."

The sun was beginning to lower in the sky when Gojo finally stood up, stretching dramatically with a groan that suggested he'd been sitting for far too long.

"Okay, as much as I'd love to keep talking to you forever—and I really would, this has been great—I should probably head back. School tomorrow, training, all that boring stuff. The elders get cranky if I'm late for curfew."

Gojo looked at you, that bright smile softening into something really warm.

"Same time tomorrow? Same place?"

This time, you didn't hesitate. "Okay."

"Great! I'll bring snacks. Do you like mochi?"

You blinked. "I don't know. I've never had it."

Gojo's expression shifted to one of absolute horror.

"Seriously? You've... never had mochi? What kind of childhood is that? What do you even eat? Plain rice? Boring vegetables? Water?"

"I eat normal food—"

"Normal food is not enough! You need to experience mochi!" Gojo was genuinely distressed, his hands waving in the air. "We're going to fix this. Tomorrow. I'm bringing all kinds of mochi—red bean, strawberry, matcha, everything. You're going to experience real food for the first time."

"It's just rice cake."

"It's not just rice cake. It's mochi. There's a difference. A fundamental, essential, life-changing difference," Gojo shook his head sadly. "So much to teach you. So much."

You fought a smile and lost miserably.

"Okay. Mochi tomorrow."

"Good. Now, back to your wall before your clan realizes you're gone and sends out a search party. I'd rather not explain to a bunch of angry Okada clan members why I'm lurking near their territory."

The two of you walked back through the forest together, Gojo adjusting his long stride to match your short legs without comment. It was a small thing, but it made something warm bloom in your chest.

Last night's destruction was still there as you passed through it — the splintered trees, the gouged earth, the lingering wrongness, and everything else. But somehow, in the fading afternoon light, it seemed less overwhelming and less frightening. Just another part of the landscape.

At the wall, Gojo stopped.

"Hey, Y/N?"

You turned, one hand on the familiar stone.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I met you."

Gojo's voice was so soft, sincere in a way that made the words feel heavier than they should have been.

"I know we just met. I know you're keeping secrets—lots of them, probably. I know this whole situation is weird and probably doesn't make sense. But... I'm glad. You're so easy to talk to. You don't make things complicated. You just... listen. And that's pretty rare."

You looked at him — this ridiculous, lonely, far-too-powerful teenager, who had somehow decided that you were worth knowing, worth investing in, worth caring about.

"Me too," you said.

Gojo nodded, satisfied.

"Good. See you tomorrow, little kid. Don't die before then."

And then, just like last night, Gojo was gone.

One moment he was right there, leaning against a random tree with that stupid smug smile of his, and the next moment he was just... gone. Moved faster than your eyes could yet follow, leaving behind only the faint impression of his presence and the echo of his words.

You stood at the wall for a long moment, staring at the empty space where Gojo had been.

What just happened?

[ You made a friend. ]

[ A very powerful, very lonely, very talkative friend who apparently has strong opinions about mochi. ]

[ Congratulations. ]

You sighed as your small fingers found holds in the vines, ready to climb and return to the clan compound.

The compound was really quiet as you made your way back to your rooms — the evening calm settling over the buildings and gardens like a soft blanket, and the servants bowed as you passed, but you barely noticed them, your mind still in that peaceful clearing, still replaying the conversations, still trying to process the impossibility of what had just happened.

Gojo Satoru, you thought.

The strongest sorcerer of his generation. Future legend. Current fifteen-year-old who talks too much and cares too much and is way more complicated than he seems.

And apparently... my first real friend in this world.

That thought should have been terrifying. Well, it was a little bit. Gojo Satoru was dangerous — not just because of his power, but because of everything he represented. The chaos that surrounded him, the tragedies that would come, the weight of being connected to someone like him.

But somewhere beneath the terror, there was something else.

Something that almost felt like hope.

That night, lying in your ridiculously huge and comfortable bed, you stared at the ceiling and, once again, thought about everything that had happened.

You had died five times now. Five times in one day, and you were still here, still breathing, still existing. You had killed a two-hundred-year-old special grade spirit. You had met Gojo Satoru and, somehow, become friends with him. You had talked about nothing and everything for hours, and yet it had somehow become the best conversation of your entire existence — across both your previous and current lives.

Your existence had become absolutely insane.

Gojo Satoru, you thought, just before unconsciousness took you. The real danger in all this isn't the curses or the clans or the higher-ups. It's him. Definitely him.

But maybe... maybe that's okay.

Maybe having someone dangerous who cares about you is better than being alone.

Maybe—

Sleep claimed you before you could finish the thought.

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note ∘ ∘ ∘ well i dont really have much to say except that i already love satoru & male reader soooo much and that i've never eaten mochi in my life... ok bye

taglist ∘ ∘ ∘ @suunani @nikomenom @michisilly @bitterinkandblood @sukunaslilsocks @soafhie @d4iky-s-nsh1ne @im-so-goddamn-tired @ilovebattinson @starrykies @mentaltrouble2201 @lovely-venusss @getos-personal-slut-1 @ktkitty-v @unwittingmagesblog @1800imgay @noomsy @pavlovsfavoritedog @jupiterlvr @iglb12 @c4tsf4n @goldfish-glubglub ( please comment or send me a message if you wanna be added! )

[ourseasone]

CHAPTER 007 ✱ SOFT PLACES TO LAND

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You sat slouched at your desk, body folded in on itself like a crumpled paper crane. Your arms were crossed in front of you, one cushioning your head, the other limp and lifeless across the table. Your face was mostly hidden, buried in the crook of your right arm, only the edge of your cheek visible beneath the soft fall of your dark hair. Your fingers didn’t twitch. Your breathing was shallow and slow. To anyone else in the classroom, you looked like just another overworked student catching a nap before the mock test — maybe recovering from a night of cramming or an early wake-up. Just another teen in survival mode.

But you weren’t asleep. Not even close.

You were exhausted, yes — physically, emotionally, spiritually, in every possible way — but sleep had stopped coming easily. These days, you lived in a constant fog of fatigue. Still, the heaviness in your limbs wasn’t what kept you rooted in place.

You were hiding.

Not from everyone, just from one person.

For the past ten minutes, you’d been doing everything in your power to avoid Suho’s eyes. It wasn’t easy. Suho was sitting just one desk away for the upcoming mock test — to your right, close enough that he could probably feel the heat of your stare if you weren’t actively trying to melt into the desk. Since the moment you walked into the classroom (late again, like often) Suho’s gaze had locked onto you and refused to let go.

You had felt it before you even looked up; that shift in the air when someone notices you a second too soon. Suho had been hunched over his notes, chewing on the end of his pen like always, when he wasn’t sleeping, but as soon as you stepped through the door, that pen had stopped moving. His posture straightened. His brow furrowed. His eyes followed every sluggish step you took as you shuffled to your assigned seat — shoes barely lifted off the floor, your backpack hanging open, a zipper dangling like a loose thread. You’d slumped into your chair without a word and dropped your head onto the desk, too tired to explain yourself. And from that moment on, Suho hadn’t looked away.

It was starting to drive you insane.

You knew that look. Knew it too damn well. You could practically hear the question already forming in Suho’s head. The kind of question he always asked when he was worried sick — soft, careful, but pointed. The kind you couldn’t dodge once it left his mouth. You’d been on the receiving end of it too many times before.

And you already knew what you’d say in response.

You’d lie.

That was the part that made your stomach twist — not Suho’s concern, not even the confrontation. It was the lie you had already rehearsed, sitting on the tip of your tongue like a bitter pill. It was the only way to protect you both from the truth. Because if you looked Suho in the eye, if you let him ask what was wrong, if you let yourself say even a fraction of what you really felt — everything would fall apart.

So you stayed frozen. Silent. Back hunched like you were trying to shrink into invisibility. You focused instead on the soft, chaotic murmur of the classroom — the rustle of notebook pages, the rhythmic scratching of pens against paper, the occasional cough or whispered comment. Anything to delay that inevitable moment when Suho’s voice would break through and force you back into reality.

The truth was, you hadn’t even meant to come to school that morning.

The night before, you had gone to the columbarium — something you hadn’t done in months, or maybe years. You’d gone there on impulse, with no plan, just a tightness in your chest that wouldn’t go away. And for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself fall apart — until there was nothing left to hold back. And when the wave finally passed, you didn’t get up right away. You just sat there, head resting against the wall, eyes closed.

You weren’t sure if you’d fallen asleep or just drifted somewhere in between. The hours blurred. In that space — between the living and the dead — time lost its shape.

But in the stillness, something shifted.

You didn’t feel okay. You didn’t feel better. But you felt… quieter. Like some small part of the storm inside you had finally run out of energy. You weren’t happy. Not even close. But you felt peace — a fragile, fleeting kind that rested lightly on your chest, like a feather balanced on a bruise.

Eventually, you got up. Slowly and numbly. You made a stop at the pharmacy on the way home — picked up the meds your doctor had prescribed, the ones meant to buy you time, to stretch your life just a little further. The irony of it all wasn’t lost on you. Seventeen, carrying a box of pills meant to delay the inevitable. The box weighed almost nothing.

But in your hands, it felt like the heaviest thing you’d ever held.

You got home after midnight. Your mind was blank, pockets empty, soul running on fumes. Sleep didn’t come until sometime around four, and even then, it wasn’t real rest, just unconsciousness winning over exhaustion.

And now, you were here.

Back in your seat. In this too-bright classroom. With Suho sitting beside you, silent but watchful, waiting for a moment to ask the question you didn’t want to answer.

A sharp noise broke through your thoughts.

“Ow—!”

It was Suho’s voice.

Your head snapped up, heart skipping — reflexes immediately jumping to worst-case scenarios. Was he hurt? Did he trip? Fall? But no. Suho was right there, in his seat, completely fine, a stupid grin tugging at his mouth. His eyebrows arched like he was pretending to be offended.

You stared at him, unimpressed. “Seriously?”

Suho gave a mock-innocent shrug, still smirking. “What? You looked like you were gonna pass out. I had to get your attention somehow.”

“You scared the shit out of me.”

“Mission accomplished,” he leaned back in his chair, stretching lazily. “I’m hungry. Wanna ditch and grab something?”

It was so casual, so normal — so Suho — that you couldn’t help the flicker of warmth that passed through your chest. Even when things were tense, even when you were a mess of tangled thoughts and invisible pain, Suho had a way of pulling you out — not with confrontation, but with his own simple and stupid familiarity.

You didn’t respond right away. You let your eyes wander instead, sweeping across the room. Most of the students were nose-deep in textbooks, flipping pages like their lives depended on it. Some scribbled notes frantically. Others stared blankly, clearly seconds from panic. The air was thick with pre-test anxiety.

You gave a small, wordless nod, then pushed your chair back. It scraped softly against the floor.

“Alright,” you muttered. “Let’s go.”

Suho hopped to his feet behind you, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his uniform trousers. His steps were slow and easy, matching your pace without comment. No one in the classroom spared you more than a glance — too preoccupied with memorizing formulas and definitions to care.

As you walked toward the door, your gaze flicked across the room one last time.

And then you finally noticed him. Sieun.

There he was, hunched over his desk like usual, earbuds in, lips moving silently — probably reciting formulas under his breath. Completely oblivious to the world around him. Focused. Isolated. Untouchable. Your eyes lingered a moment longer than necessary. Just long enough to feel something tug inside your chest — curiosity, maybe.

Or something else you didn’t want to name.

Then you looked away. And walked out the door.

“So,” Suho says, holding out a strawberry milk carton toward you. “You gonna tell me what’s up, or do I have to keep pretending this is just some mysterious new skincare routine you’re on?”

You lift an eyebrow, pulling one hand lazily from your pocket to accept the drink. You don’t say anything at first — just shift slightly, your back pressed against the sun-warmed windowsill lining the school hallway. The window behind you is cracked open, letting in a soft breeze that plays with your hair and offers a little relief from the thick, sluggish heat of the afternoon.

“Cause I gotta be honest,” Suho continues, narrowing his eyes. “The whole dead-eyed and pale look doesn’t exactly scream ‘glow-up’, man. You sure you’re okay?”

“Wow,” you reply with an amused smile, your lips forming an exaggerated pout. “I feel so supported. Truly, your concern touches my soul.”

Suho rolls his eyes, stepping in beside you. He leans back against the windowsill too, mirroring your posture — banana milk in one hand, the other jammed deep into the pocket of his school uniform, as if he can bury his concern there and pretend it’s not bubbling just beneath the surface.

“Seriously, though. You good?”

Ah. There it is.

The conversation you knew was coming.

You glance down at the carton in your hand, fingers toying with the plastic straw still tucked under the flap. You don’t respond immediately. Instead, you pierce the top of the carton in one slow, precise movement, the faint pop breaking the hush that had settled around you.

“Well…” you say eventually, not quite looking at Suho. “Define ‘good’.”

Playing dumb is easier than being honest.

“Not answering your phone for an entire damn day. Missing school. Looking like you just woke up from a coma. That kinda not-good.”

“I was just tired,” you say, half-shrugging.

“Uh-huh,” Suho says, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. “Tired like… ‘slept for fourteen hours’ kind of way, or tired in a ‘my soul is being slowly siphoned by a thousand invisible hands’ kind of way?”

“Oh my god,” you laugh, finally taking a sip of the strawberry milk, a teasing smile curling at the corner of your lips. “I missed one day and now you start diagnosing me like some kind of doctor.”

You chuckle, shaking your head, and Suho leans back with a grin that falters just slightly — just enough that the worry behind it peeks through.

“But seriously,” he says, quieter this time. “You never skip school. You remember last year? You had a fever so high you were hallucinating, and you still dragged yourself in for finals. Dude, you coughed blood onto your desk.”

You wince, the memory coming back in a blurry, uncomfortable flash. You had honestly forgotten about that day — or maybe just pushed it out of your mind. But now that it’s brought up, it unsettles you. Back then, it had been brushed off as a bad flu. But knowing what you know now… maybe it was the tumor. It didn’t just appear overnight. That thing had probably been growing inside you for years, whispering quietly until it found the strength to scream.

“That was… one time,” you mutter, brushing it off.

“Yeah. One traumatizing time,” Suho counters. He steps forward a bit, turning so he can face you fully. “You looked me dead in the eye and said—what was it? Oh right: ‘If I die, clear my browser history,’ and then you just passed out.”

You cover your mouth with the back of your hand, laughing harder now, despite yourself. “Okay. That was kinda iconic.”

“So yeah, forgive me for panicking a little when you disappear off the face of the earth and don’t even send a ‘still alive, chill’ text. I had to eat lunch by myself like a sad little orphan,” Suho said, clearly trying to keep the mood light but failing to hide the undercurrent of genuine concern.

“You could’ve sat with someone else,” you say, not looking at him.

Suho gasps. “So that’s it? One missed lunch and you’re ready to hand me over to the highest bidder? What are we, casual acquaintances now?”

“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic.”

You chuckle lightly, finally taking a long sip of your strawberry milk, the refreshing sweet taste doing you good. A comfortable silence settles between you, only disturbed by the gentle breeze flowing through the slightly open window, softly making the leaves of the trees outside dance.

Honestly, you expected Suho to bombard you with questions, but instead, he’s acting like a dramatic kid exaggerating just to get your attention. And deep down, you prefer that. Better to have a Suho who’s a bit too worried than to be caught in an interrogation you know you wouldn’t know how to answer or how to avoid lying — which you hate more than anything, especially with your best friend.

“No, seriously though,” Suho finally breaks the silence, his tone more serious. “You okay?”

Ah, damn. You had jumped the gun.

“I told you,” you say, not quite meeting Suho’s eyes. “I’m just tired. Exams are starting to get to me, I guess.”

Suho gives you a look so unconvinced, so flatly unimpressed, it could’ve made a stone feel judged. His eyebrows arch with theatrical disapproval, lips twisted into the kind of skeptical smirk that says, Really? That’s your story?

“Yeah… nah,” he says slowly, drawing out the syllables like he’s giving your excuse time to reverse itself. “Try again.”

You raise an eyebrow, playing dumb. “What?”

“You don’t get stressed about exams,” Suho replies, drawing a long, obnoxious sip from his banana milk. The slurping noise echoes down the empty school hallway like an insult. “You laugh at people who stress about exams. You once got a zero on a practice test and said, and I quote, ‘grades are just capitalism in disguise’.”

“People change, I’ve matured,” you deadpan. “I’m embracing my inner nerd.”

“Bullshit.”

And it is bullshit. You know it. Suho knows it. The walls probably know it.

So you don’t argue, because… well, what is there to argue with? Suho has you dead to rights. You never cared about school pressure, never lost sleep over grades or deadlines. Your entire philosophy has always been infuriatingly chill; study enough to pass, don’t sweat the rest. If you failed? So be it. The sun would rise, the earth would keep spinning, and life would roll on regardless. School was just a stage set, not the whole damn play.

It’s ironic — using exams as a cover now. Of all things, you’ve picked a lie that’s completely out of character.

Your eyes flick sideways, watching as Suho tosses his empty milk carton into the hallway trash bin with an underhanded flick. He then climbs onto the windowsill beside you with a quiet sigh, resting his elbows on his knees as you both look out across the deserted corridor. Rows of lockers stretch out like sentinels, bathed in afternoon light that filters in golden through the tall windows.

For a while, neither of you say anything. The quiet between you isn’t uncomfortable — just weighted. Like the kind that comes after a joke has landed flat, but neither of you wants to be the one to say why.

“Look,” Suho finally says, his voice softer now. There’s a subtle shift in tone — less teasing, more deliberate. “I’m not here to push or interrogate you. But you’ve been… off lately. Not just tired. Distant. Fuzzy. Like your brain’s here, but the rest of you’s somewhere else.”

You don’t answer. You just take another slow sip of your milk, your gaze fixed somewhere on the ground between you, as if there’s something fascinating about the floor tiles.

“And I know when you’re lying,” Suho adds, gentler this time. “So don’t give me that ‘exam stress’ line again. I’m not buying it, man.”

“It’s not a big deal,” you whisper, more to convince yourself than to reassure Suho.

“Okay,” Suho says with a small nod. “If you say so.”

The silence that returns this time feels heavier. Not sharp — just full. Like the space between you has grown thick with all the unsaid things you don’t know how to voice, and all the things Suho doesn’t want to force out of you.

You’ve finished your milk, but your fingers keep fiddling with the empty carton, squeezing it in slow, uneven pulses like it’s some kind of tether keeping you grounded. Your eyes stay on it, refusing to meet Suho’s gaze. Because you’re not sure what will happen if you do. You don’t know if you have the strength to look your best friend in the eyes and still pretend nothing is wrong.

“I’m not here to force anything out of you. I just…” Suho pauses, his words hanging in the air like he’s searching for the least intrusive way to say them. “You don’t have to fake it with me, alright? I know you too well for that. If something’s going on, you don’t have to carry it alone.”

Your posture shifts slightly. Not much. Just enough that your head dips, like the weight on your neck has quietly doubled. You’re still staring at the floor, unmoving except for the slow turn of the straw in your fingers.

“I…” Your voice is hoarse, stuck. “It’s just… hard to explain.”

“Then don’t,” Suho shrugs like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “You don’t have to explain anything. Just say you’re not ready to talk. I can handle that. I just can’t handle you lying to me.”

His voice is calm, steady, yet full of genuine warmth. He gently places his left hand on your right shoulder and gives it a light squeeze — not too hard, just enough to remind you he’s there, physically and emotionally.

“But don’t shut me out. Please.”

And you finally look up. Slowly. Your eyes meet his, and for a moment, time pauses.

Suho’s gaze holds nothing but warmth. No judgment, no demand for an answer, no resentment for being left in the dark. Just steady presence. Compassion, plain and uncluttered. The kind of look that says, You don’t have to fall apart, but if you do — I’ll be there to catch you.

And god, it kills you.

Because you know you could tell him now. You could let it all out, right there in that hallway flooded with grey light, and the burden would no longer be yours alone to bear. You could say the words — brain tumor, MRI, pain that doesn’t go away — you could say it and stop carrying this terrible secret alone. You could hand over the weight, even just a little, and Suho would take it without flinching. You know he would.

But at what cost?

If you say it, it would no longer be your personal hell. It would be yours and his. It would become real for both of you. Not just something you could half-ignore in the quiet of the night. It would stain Suho’s world too. That ever-present shadow would spread. And you can’t do that. You refuse to infect Suho with this. To give him that kind of pain.

It would be selfish of you. Unfair. Unbearable.

“I’m here, man. You know that, right?”

You look away again, the lump in your throat growing. You stare down at your crushed milk carton like it might offer you a way out. You twirl the straw between your fingers, clinging to it like it’s the last fragile thread holding you together.

“Yeah,” you whisper eventually. “I know.”

“Really?” Suho asks quietly. “Because I mean it. I’m not just here for the good days. I’m the 3AM breakdown, bad-haircut, cry-on-my-hoodie type of friend. No expiry date.”

“I’d never cry into your hoodie,” you mutter, managing the smallest smile. “It smells like cheap cologne and gym socks.”

“Okay, rude,” Suho nudges you gently, mock-offended. “First of all, that’s a limited edition body spray. Second, I only sweat because I carry this friendship on my back.”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t ‘Oh my God’ me, I’m being emotionally available.”

And this time, a real laugh escapes from your throat — clear and genuine, echoing down the silent corridor. A precious sound. The kind of thing you don’t realize you’ve missed until it returns. Suho’s smile widens at the sound.

Mission semi-accomplished.

“Anyway,” Suho says, straightening up as he hops down from the windowsill. “Just so you know. I’m here whenever you’re ready—tomorrow, next year, or like… when we’re both old and bald and yelling at pigeons in a park somewhere. Doesn’t matter. I’ll wait. Just… me. You. Strawberry milk. Whatever you need.”

Naturally, your arm finds its way around Suho’s shoulders. “You trying to make me cry in the school hallway or what?”

“Honestly?” Suho replies, mock-thoughtful. “A few tears would spice up this boring day. Bring the drama.”

“You’re so annoying.”

You give him a shove, but it’s half-hearted. Suho leans into it like it’s nothing. The two of you start walking slowly down the corridor, unbothered by the lingering bell that had rung some time ago. Your arm still draped over Suho’s shoulders. Suho’s hands stuffed into his pockets like he has all the time in the world.

“Thanks,” you say again, quieter this time. “Really.”

“You know I got you.”

“Love you, man,” you say with a crooked smile, pulling Suho a little closer. “No homo.”

“Oh, shut your entire face,” Suho groans, rolling his eyes. “You just ruined the whole heartfelt moment. I was building something beautiful there.”

“Nah,” you reply with a teasing smirk. “I upgraded it. Who needs therapy when you’ve got sarcasm and a mildly concerned best friend?”

“Mildly?” Suho stops for half a second to give you an outraged look. “I’m worried at, like, medium-well at this point. Almost fully cooked.”

“Fine, fine. Thanks, for real. You’re the best.”

“Yeah yeah,” Suho mutters, though he can’t hide the small satisfied smile on his face. “Now let’s go before I get emotional and start writing you a poem or some shit.”

You burst out laughing, loud enough to echo off the hallway walls. And for the first time in what feels like an eternity, something inside you — something clenched tight — begins to slowly, quietly unfurl.

You take your time walking back to class, two silhouettes moving slowly down the sunlit hallway, as if there’s no rush. Because in that exact moment, there really isn’t.

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note ∘ ∘ ∘ hiii *i say seductively to distract you from the fact it took me 20 whole days to finish this chapter* i missed you guys so much actually ( ;' - ';) this chapter was originally supposed to be way longer [like over 7,000 words] BUT i ended up deciding to split it into two parts! it's just easier for me that way and the good news is, now i can post two chapters in a short amount of time hehe <3 so i hope that works for you guys too!

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[jianurl]

ANYWAY DON’T BE A STRANGER - pheobe bridgers