This seems like the right time to discuss and get informed about chastity. 'Loctober' has been trending on social media, for more than one reason. Some may not know that this term originates from the sex industry, although there is a new vanilla definition referring to 'locking in' to ones goals in the last quarter of the year. Loctober in the sexual sense refers to Chastity and the use of chastity cages for male genitalia, belts for female genitalia. Both the cage and the belt can be locked with a key, hence the play on words with 'locking in' and if the person wearing the cage has an agreement or arrangement with someone to 'hold' that key, which hands over control, that person is called a key holder. Usually only one person wears a device while the other has control over the device. Commonly in a sub domme dynamic the submissive person practices chastity while the dominant person holds the key, thus controlling the subs freedom.
Chastity is associated with abstinence (restraining oneself from indulging) and is practiced by a plethora of individuals and couples alike in order to enhance their sex life and' or other areas of their life by focusing attention and energy elsewhere. In the world of BDSM is a form of orgasm control. The psychology behind this can be quite intimate as it involves trust, surrender and experience at least in terms of what one another need from this arrangement. This can range from occasional wear to pretty much permanent wear. Those who participate in this long term, with the use of a cage or belt are 'chastity lifestylers'.
It has become increasingly popular for subs to pay online/ virtual dommes to hold a digital key (there is an app for this) or to send the physical key through the mail. If the domme does not physically possess the key then strict rules for the times that the restrictive cage is worn will be discussed and agreed upon. For example, the sub might be given the freedom to open the cage 2-3 times a day for 5-15 minutes for hygiene purposes. The domme may check-in with the sub, possibly taunt, tease or even humiliate the sub while they are locked-up either through text, voice/video call or in person. Some subs enjoy the presence of a domme actually physically handling them and placing them into the cage and locking it. The entire process from start to finish is one of commitment from both parties. Regular communication is important where in person meetings are not possible.
While the chastity device is worn, that person is unable to masturbabte, experience oral sex or intercourse. It has been studied and there have been claims made that chastity can help break ones addiction to sex by forcing them to learn self control, some experience clarity, increased focus and higher productivity. As one's hormone levels decrease and stabilize over time these results increase. In an old edition of Men's Magazine there was an article that explored the appeal of chasity from men's point of view. Tom explained that he preferred a more submissive role and found the relinquishment of control to his wife a huge relief. For a lot of men gender norms can lead to a huge amount of pressure, this kink provides a safe way out so to speak. Christian stated that other erogenous zones such as his nipples had become more sensitive, leading him to explore arousal with his entire body, not just his penis, sex as a result of chastity became a lot more interesting.
Another trend fast approaches as we see 'No nut November' starting to appear. Intimacy, vulnerability and trust all come into play with this kink. While some search for this sort of connection online as a domme it is important that limitations as well as needs are discussed openly and that flexible solutions are available. This can of course be fun but it isn't a game and aftercare is just as important as the act itself as we know that this affects the person locked up not only physically but also mentally and emotionally.