Trauma heart code 💌
word count: 3,417
genre: medical drama, angst, romance, suggestive
⚠️ bomb accident, mention of dead, bottled up emotion, miscommunication, make-out scene! (omg, who said that?), doctor!au, doctor!reader
☆ finish it last night and today because my brain still works?? and i have this written on my draft for a while. need a good week to finally ends it
"What crime have I committed that you treat me like this?” Your voice is shaky. People seem to disappear as you say the words out of your mouth.
He remained still, his back facing you, the tension in his body evident in the way his fists clenched tightly at his sides. For a moment, he stood there in silence before slowly turning around, his expression unreadable.
He turns his back on you and walks away without a single word, his silence cutting deeper than any argument could. The weight of unspoken emotions lingers in the air, thick and suffocating, pressing down on you as you watch him walk out of the room.
The tears that had gathered on your eyes started to pour down your cheeks.
Your relationship wasn't supposed to be like this. In the past, he always cared about you, searching for you, doing things together with you.
But ever since you met him again, he acts cold towards you, only acknowledging your words when you speak about patients, and other than that, he acts like you're not even there.
[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]
Kang-hyuk asks you to go to the roof with him, saying that he wants to watch the sunset because he doesn't have any scheduled operation.
He has been your mentor from the time he joined the team. Everything he does always amazes you, whether it's in the OR or just his ordinary life.
You liked him from the start. You always asked yourself if your feelings were reciprocated by him or if you were just a junior on his team.
Your questions are soon answered when Kang-hyuk corners you by the rooftop door, his gaze intense as he says, “I’ve liked you for a while now, and I can’t keep carrying the weight of these feelings. Every time I see you, every time our hands touch, and every time you say my name in that sweet voice of yours, I get these stupid butterflies—and I don’t want to keep them bottled up anymore.”
He said that so fast that you could barely catch it.
Then, a soft smile forms on your face, your heart thumping loudly against your ribcage, butterflies erupt from your stomach, and your cheeks are as red as a tomato.
You told him that you liked him too, and you feel the same about him every time he does something with you.
His face is inching closer than before, head tilting slightly, and in this distance, you can feel his hot breath against your face.
You lean in and then press your lips on his for a second.
When you start to pull away, Kang-hyuk moves his hands to your neck, stopping you from getting away from him. He deepens the kiss.
It’s not rushed or desperate—it’s slow, deliberate, like he’s savoring the moment. His lips press against yours with a tenderness that sends shivers down your spine. His other hand finds your waist, pulling you just close enough for you to feel the steady beat of his heart against yours.
You respond instinctively, your hands gripping his shirt as you kiss him back, pouring all your emotions into the moment. The world fades away—no rooftop, no sky, no city below. Just the warmth of his touch, the way his fingers tangle in your hair, the way he breathes your name between kisses like it’s something precious.
“I have been waiting for this for a long time. Can you believe that?” A giggle left your mouth with ease. The first kiss happens on the hospital's rooftop, where both of you first met.
And with that, Baek Kang-hyuk finally confessed his undying feelings for you after you two met 2 years ago.
[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]
Your words repeatedly played on his head. The way your red eyes stared at him plagued his mind. He can still imagine your expression when you tell him that.
You look angry, confused, and sad. He never sees you like this. Hell, he doesn’t even think that he ever saw you get angry before.
All the words you threw at him are true, but there's a reason for him doing it. But he likes to keep it to himself, because he doesn't think that it matters to you.
You left him anyway.
Meanwhile, the others seem to be intrigued by the tension created by both medical doctors. They can hear the way you shout at Kang-hyuk, demanding but also asking for an explanation of his behavior towards you.
They're not dumb or blind, they can see the way Kang-hyuk treated you poorly, ignoring every time you make attempts to talk to him, and maybe– just maybe, his action this morning is your last straw.
You were running along the corridor, and your heels stamped the floor with loud echoes. There's been another patient injured in the safety post that had been dragged to the hospital.
You know you're not capable of handling this case. Hence, you want to talk to Kang-hyuk to handle them. But as soon as you speak, not even 2 words in, he ushered you to get out of his office.
You're a stubborn person. He knows that, but even when he did, he didn't give you any chance to explain a situation. He just wanted to rest, especially from you.
And vice versa, you're now the one handling the patient forcefully though you hesitate a little, but you will always try your best for the patient you manage throughout your whole life.
That's until the monitor starts to beep, the straight line appearing as your face goes pale.
You rush to do CPR and order the nurse to take the defibrillator and prepare it ready for her.
But despite the fact that you had been doing CPR for almost half an hour, there's still no sign of him regaining his breath. The nurse practically has to detach you from the patient's bed.
The patient then announced to be dead by you, 14th february at 17.28 PM.
You can control your anger and resentment towards the doctor that had filled your mind the entire time you're here, if he chose not to have a casual-friendly talk with you then so be it, but when it comes to patience, professional feelings shouldn't be the one who's holding him back, because he needs to separate his private lives matter and his professional life.
So you walk, heels thumping loudly full of anger, everyone can see the tension in your posture, the way your eyes darkened, and indicates there's only one focus you had in mind.
You open his office door with force, vengeful expression on your eyes, but nonetheless, you still look like an angel in his eyes, and he hates his mind when he thinks of that.
“I don't know what's your problem with me, Dr. Baek Kang-hyuk,” she gulps, restraining her tears to fall down, “but you always ignore me when i attempts any interaction to you, i don't mind, i am certainly not, but when,”
Your words hang in the air, Kang-hyuk feels like he was suffocated by the lack of air he has breath and the fact that his heart is going to start to feel guilty if he looks you in the eyes.
So he keeps them to himself, “I barge through your door this morning, wanting to inform you about a huge trauma patient, i can't handle him but i know you can, so i ran to you, wanting you to take care of them”
Silence, then “But when i opened my mouth, there were only 2 words that i had let out before you fussed me to go away”
Kang-hyuk raised his eyebrows, but still not wanting to look at you, hearing the news you got him, “They died, 30 minutes ago, and they could survive, if only you hadn't be selfish earlier”
His head shoots up, looking at your face that's still full of rage. He can remember how you were always scared not to let your patient die, so this is new news.
Kang-hyuk got up from his seat, ready to go to patch the emergency patient.
And you let out those words that clenched his heart so hard, and he can't even breathe right.
But he knew that if he turned his back, he would go back to his past when the future wanted him to have a future filled with happiness and love.
So he walked away, just like always after the incident you had 3 years ago.
[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]
The tension is unbearable for everyone. When both doctors are in the same room, they feel uncomfortable.
You, the doctor who always has a smile on your face, now just look like the worn shell you used to be. Your smile to patients feels forced, and they always find you in the canteen, not eating your food. When someone asks, you claim that you have lost your appetite since yesterday.
At the same time, Kang-hyuk's demeanor also seems to be very different from yesterday, he only replies curtly to everyone’s questions, and he always steals a glance at you anytime he could, but your eyes are always focusing on something else, never once they landed on him too.
Jae-won sighs for the thousand times today, looking at his mentor and you back and forth, “We just want it to be over. Why is he still acting like that towards her? literally everybody can see he still wants her”
Jang-mi nodded at her coworker's words. If you could just communicate with each other without the other one being too quiet and the other being too emotional, the problem would be solved by now.
Or at least, that's what she thought.
But in reality, the truth beneath is more complicated than everyone's thought. Your past is more important to make things happen in the present.
Gradually, the days passed, and still, no signs of you both had taken care of the problem between the two of you.
Doctor Han says that he will buy drinks for the trauma team tonight to relieve some stress that was caused by lots of cases this past week.
He's like your own father, and you always adore him and look up on him like he's the father figure you never had. Doctor Han will always hold a special place in your heart, filling the empty and dark void in the cracks of it.
Bottle by bottle of Soju keeps coming to your table. The kimchi plate is never empty. One of you always refills it before the kimchi runs out.
You can feel yourself getting worked up, 80% drunk, and your consciousness level is as low as 20%.
Kang-hyuk always watches your moves. How could he not? you're sitting right in front of him, only the tables separate the two of you.
His hands twitch beside him or on the table every time you laugh at someone's joke, a little too loud to his liking, or when you lean too close for him towards a person.
an hour later, though, he can see you get more drunk based on the shot glass you drank, not that he counts on it– 3 shots + 2 with beer, a total of 5 shots.
He knows you're not the best drinker, so he puts your glasses down when you try to drink again.
You look at him with a frown that starts to turn into a pout, which he definitely didn't find cute– lies. You ask him for your glasses, trying to grab it by yourself from his hand.
before you could do so, he drank your glass filled Soju in one shot. And after that, looking at you dead in the eye, as if to warn you not to drink anymore.
You gave up after another try, so you just ate the meat that was grilled in front of you with kimchi and the perilla leaves that were placed on the table.
Jae-won nudged at Jang-mi and Gyeong-won, signaling them to look over where the two of you were seated.
A smile broke on Doctor Han's face. He likes to see you getting happy with Kang-hyuk, well finally your cold war is over, for now.
A few moments later, all of them decided to finish the night by going to their own house, not the hospital's on-call room.
The director agrees to give you all a break for one day, his tone is dismissive as he answers their question, but he knows that the moment he calls them, they will rush to the hospital.
Others are already in a taxi, Gyeong-won asking if you would like to join him since you both live in the same apartment building, but you refused his offer with a drunk smile on your face.
When you tried to stop one, Kang-hyuk hand lowered yours.
You turn your head to him, brow furrowed, confused by his action. Before the words could leave you, he opens his mouth, “You're going home with me” and he doesn't seem to take a no as an answer, so you stay quiet.
You are clearly still so drunk, you can't even walk straight, and this makes Kang-hyuk sigh before he kneels slightly and carries you like a sack.
He puts you on the passenger seats, sliding a safety belt, and when he's done, then he goes to the driver seat.
The tension between both of you is still there, but now you can ease a little, mainly because you're intoxicated.
You murmur something about him, you start rambling about something, and that's when he catches his own name coming out of you, along with the words about you missing him.
“Then why did you leave? No phone calls, no text for a year straight” he chokes out, eyes still fixating on the roads ahead of him.
Your breath hitched. You may be drunk, but you can't deny that your heart still holds his name dearly. “There's another bomb accident after you left, i quickly got to that place as fast as I could. I don't know if it's not over yet,”
You paused, the memory brings you a nightmare, but you want to straighten things up, “When i patch a kid in the medical tent they had built, another bomb explodes, and it's placed near the tent, only a few meters away. The ground beneath us shakes, and the bomb effect reaches us after 3 seconds of exploding, that's why I got this” You pull your clothes up, and Kang-hyuk can see a scar that has not been healed.
Now you feel that you regained your consciousness, “My friend said it's a miracle that I'm still alive, I've been in a coma for almost 10 months. The last 2 months are when I got into a stressful depression that led me to go to a psychiatrist every day. Every time I close my eyes, the sound of the bomb, kids crying and the adults screaming filled my ears and head, I can still perfectly picture the scene” There is a slightly different tone in your voice, this one is shaky.
Your eyes trained to the road, but there's nothing behind those iris, only emptiness.
“You hate me that much?” The question caught Kang-hyuk off guard. He doesn’t respond immediately, and it looks like you have found your answer about it.
“Drop me off at the convenience store, i'll order a taxi myself” Your hands flew to open the safety belt, but Kang-hyuk hand came to your sight, stopping your movements any further.
Instead, he brought your right hand to his, holding it tightly, and soon enough, bringing your knuckles to his mouth, kissing it.
You were startled by his gesture, “Don't go again. You gave me something that i can't leave without, and i only share it with you”
“I'm sorry for the way i treated you since you got here, my heart is hurt and i don't want to lose anything again to you, so I decided to ignore you until you give up and eventually ignore me too” His grip on your hand tightened, sincere in his voice is evident.
Without thinking, you lean to him, peck his cheek, and then go back to your seat as quickly as possible and start looking out the window.
Kang-hyuk looks at you lovingly. He chuckles before the car comes to a stop. It's not your apartment building.
You called him, asking what he was doing.
He doesn't answer. He just got out of the car and went to your door and opened it with ease, “my apartment, let's go”
You were in awe upon entering the building. It's the expensive one, The Eterno Cheongdam.
The air in the elevator it's not awkward, instead it's calming, with Kang-hyuk holding your hand the entire lift ride, and you can see his small smile on the elevator door that he's facing.
And you also can't contain your smile. The love you've been searching and yearning for is already in front of you.
When the two of you get inside, Kang-hyuk tells you to sit on his couch while he gets some water for you.
He came back with a glass of water, which you drank after thanking him with a smile.
Both of you look into each other's eyes, the unspoken words said to each other, the feelings that have bottled up in your chest can be freely seen by the others through the eyes.
Kang-hyuk leans in, inching your face closer to him, his hand lifted up to cradle your face.
You can feel his warm breath in your face. His eyes looked into yours as if asking for permission, and you gave him a light nod.
The gap between the two of you closed, as you can feel his lips on top of yours.
At first, it's sweet, so vanilla, and then after a few seconds, his hand lowered to the back of your neck to deepen the kiss.
The kiss is now filled with frustration and passion. It's getting heated, You tangled your hand on his hair.
His hands leave yours for a second to open his suit because the air circulating you is getting hot. You also help him to take off his tie with one smooth motion.
Your hands traveled to his side, feeling his well-made biceps on both of your hands.
You pull away breathlessly, trying to catch your breath, but Kang-hyuk doesn't let you go that long.
He clashes his lips again to yours, fierce and demanding, his teeth grazing your lower lip that made you let out a gasp.
A shiver runs down your spine as you start to open the upper button of your blouse that Kang-hyuk also helps open up.
[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]
Kang-hyuk wakes up first, feeling the weight of someone on his body
He smiles when he sees you sleeping peacefully on his naked chest, letting out a soft sound of your steady breath in your sleep.
Last night feels like a dream, each passing moment pictured perfectly on his head, the way your body clashes with his, your lips that he would kill to taste again.
His thoughts are disturbed by a ruffled sound coming from you as you open your eyes.
“Hi” He brushes your hair to keep it off your face. He smiles at you before replying to your word.
You go downstairs to make breakfast while Kang-hyuk hops into the shower.
The way his body feels on yours is unbearable, and you want to experience it again oh so badly.
And, the ‘i love you’ he lets out making your heart thumping loudly against your ribcage.
The breakfast goes well, the conversation flows smoothly from your lips, and a laugh is shared when you find something funny.
Kang-hyuk helps you wash the dishes and dry your hair after you get out of the bathroom.
His hand slipped right into your hand like it always belonged there.
You wear his clothes that he gave you, because you both will only go to your apartment.
When you finished changing your clothes in your bedroom after arriving at your apartment a few minutes ago.
Right on time, Kang-hyuk's phone rings, and it's from the ER.
The two of you run towards his car, hoping there's no traffic at this hour.
[⋆✴︎˚｡⋆]
Jang-mi, Jae-won, and Gyeong-won looked at each other when the doctors that seemed to hate each other a few days prior burst into the ER door together.