❝ i was putting in overtime at the library but don’t worry honey, i’m home for good this time. ❞ lily evans quipped lightly as she shut the door behind her, balancing a tower of books just poorly enough to make it to their lounging area where james potter awaited, friendly smile in tow. though many would taunt, his presence had become something she’d look forward to, a friendly face she could count on to melt away the troubles of the world that so often began to look so dim she didn’t know if she could navigate through it all anymore.
❝ hey, P. you feeling alright ? not that i don’t like this welcome, i just figured you’d be running around the halls with the rest of the gang since i’m not breathing down your neck with shit we have to do. have i FINALLY worn you down ? ❞the blonde teased lightheartedly, lowering herself onto the floor beside him with an inquisitive gaze. it would be stupid of her to blatantly act like she HADN’T heard the news. people often whispered about the comings and goings of those in relationships, the rumor mill spinning viciously once the rumor broke about his separation from alice. it wasn’t exactly shocking, for some reason the pair never really quite fit in her head. but she had seen the sincerity shine in his chocolate hues when he spoke of her in the past, which could only reveal that the latest development, was probably weighing heavily upon his shoulders. rather than press the matter, lily just offered an understanding smile.
❝ wanna talk about it ? ❞
her teasing arrival brought a smile to james’ lips , his head shaking in amusement as he turned back to the parchment in his lap . there was something so easy about the way the two spoke , an ease that always immediately put james at peace . the words she’d spoken had been effortless , and james knew that meant she felt that same ease --- that same comfort that came with each others’ presence . ❛ but did you bring back the milk i asked for ? ❜ he teasingly replied , looking up as she brought the tower of books towards him . her smile was like heaven .
the next tease was welcome , though he knew she wholeheartedly meant it when she asked if he was alright . he allowed the lightheartedness of the question to linger for a moment , dark eyes turning to watch as she settled down comfortably onto the floor beside him . his turned head relaxed into the couch , eyes still watching her from behind foggy glasses as he maintained the smallest of smiles . he knew she knew . lily evans always knew what was wrong . he didn’t have to say a word , because she understood . ( and maybe that was what had made it hard with alice --- knowing there was someone who was always going to understand him better than the girl he’d once considered his best friend . )
fluttering the parchment just gently enough to bring attention to it , james sighed , bringing his eyes back up to the fire and running a tight hand through his unruly hair . ❛ i haven’t told my parents , ❜ he mumbled through the palm that had come to rest on his chin . ❛ about her . they keep asking what i’ve gotten her for christmas , if they should travel together with the fortescue’s . it’s just ... too hard . ❜
james still wasn’t used to a world without alice . three weeks had now passed since she had snapped , since she had done the thing he’d been too scared to do . a part of him admired her for having that courage , for having it in her to tell him what he needed to hear --- but most of him just wasn’t quite sure what to do . he hadn’t even told his parents yet . they were set to arrive at the castle in the next few days , to join the christmas festivities , and in their minds , the fortescues would be another seat at their table . he’d tried to tell them , had drafted letters , considered letting rumours take their course , but he’d never quite followed through . he was suspended in a place of terrifying uncertainty , and he had no idea what to do next .
the head dorm was where he felt a small amount of peace . in his room or by the roaring fire in the common area that connected the two dorms . perhaps one reason for this was the presence of dear lily evans . james hadn’t spoken to many people in the last few weeks ( there was too much playing on his mind , about alice , about peter , about his parents , about everything ) but he spoke to lily . things had changed between them since september . with the head badges pinned to their chest , there was something of an understanding that had formed --- they had to work together , or they wouldn’t work at all . but it wasn’t just work that kept james and lily up at all hours of the night . in a way that james had never expected , lily had become one of the easiest people to talk to . gone were the days when she would practically spit in his face --- james had stopped obsessing over her , idolising her in unhealthy doses , and suddenly there was a spark of friendship . in a few short months , lily had become one of his closest friends , and he spoke to her about things he couldn’t even speak to the boys about . he wasn’t fawning over her --- he treated her like a human . and he was happy to have things like this , to be her friend .
( sometimes , late at night when he couldn’t sleep , he thought about things differently . james potter would do anything for lily evans . )
two nights before christmas eve , james was sitting by the fire in the head common room , knees brought up to his chest to support a piece of parchment as he fiddled with his quill . when would she be back ? he needed her advice . finally , he heard the portrait door open behind him , and james turned around to offer lily a warm smile . ❛ you’re back late . ❜
distance, timing
breakdown, fighting
silence, the train runs off its tracks
kiss me, try to fix it
could you just try to listen?
give up
for the life of us we can't get back
。• * ☪ ❛ that might explain the kink in my neck , ❜ he replied in feigned thought , hand rubbing against the very real knot just above his left shoulder . despite the joke , he cringed , no doubt adding to the act . ❛ pretty sure my parents will be sitting this one out . apparently , and to no great surprise on my end , my father wasn’t exactly popular during his stay here . ❜ he wore a smile , an impressive mixture of contentment and relief . in no reality would he consider a happy holiday to be one where his classmates met his parents . ❛ i would pout , but i’m not quite ready for the wrinkles . ❜
❛ aah , and here i’d explained that away as a rather exciting night with a bird . ❜ as the subject shifted , james’ smile almost faltered . the subject of mr and mrs lupin often had that effect on him . and while james would never wish the curse of moony’s parents on him , a small part of him had wished they would show --- he had a few choice words for them . managing to keep a small smirk , james nodded . ❛ figures . but hey --- that’s one more for the party of potter , huh ? my parents are excited to see you and padfoot . ❜ and wormtail . he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying it ...
she turned to james feeling no small degree of annoyance — that she still made pains to keep off her expression. it was directed inward more than outward, but she still chafed at masking it with a dainty hand pressed to a heart that was not remotely racing in surprise. “ oh! “ alecto exclaimed ( and wondered if he’d be able to tell she was going through the motions ) before lowering her wand like an afterthought. “ is it late? I must have just lost track of the time, “ she lied; rather obviously. her pajama-clad form hardly corroborated the image of a girl surprised that her studying bled into the late night. james could call her out or he couldn’t, and alecto didn’t much care. it was her own fault for forgetting that she could get caught, and neglecting to bar the door in some way. “ sleeping might be ‘ invaluable ‘ — “ the hand pressed to her chest in a playacted surprise fell, and she knew her tone had slipped from something sweet to something biting, almost without her permission. she bit the inside of her cheek, then soldiered on. “ — but then invaluable things seldom make themselves easy to catch. “
as alecto turned at the sound of his voice, james couldn’t help but quirk a brow and toss his gaze up and down in question. her excuse told one story, but her choice in outfit told another. he was used to that of course --- being lied to now that he seemed to resemble something along the lines of authority. ( he fucking hated this part. ) stepping into the classroom, james stuffed his hands into his pockets and gave a small shrug. ❛ well to catch you up, it’s half past eleven and you should be well asleep by now. i’m not sure if you know, but there’s this little thing called curfew, and it was two hours ago now. ❜ james understood what alecto was doing --- she was good at weaving a story, a play of innocence. it had taken him a few years to learn it, but there was much more to alecto carrow than meets the eye. a small chuckle left his lips as he came to a stop near the desk she sat by. ❛ wise words there, carrow. is that what you were doing up here? pondering the state of the universe? or should i be smelling for smoke? ❜
james hadn’t spoken to alice in six days now. and he might not’ve even realised if sirius hadn’t asked what the couple’s plans were for christmas. couple. because of course, for the last seven months now, alice hadn’t just been one of james’ best friends from childhood --- she’d been his GIRLFRIEND. and he cared for her --- he cared for her deeply --- but something had changed since summer. anyone could see that the dreamy pair who had had eyes only for each other before june came had changed come september, that their eyes seemed to drift, that their tones seemed to shift when they spoke to each other. ‘ something ’ had changed --- of course, if they looked at it any deeper, they’d see what happened. the war happened. peter went missing, and suddenly the war was very, very real. and without realising it, james had been taking it out on alice. as the head boy seemed to drift closer to one lily evans, there was still a subconscious expectation from alice to shoulder the weight of the emotional boulder he was carrying. five, six, seven months in to their relationship, and yes, maybe they were in love, but they didn’t act like it anymore --- even the way they kissed felt distant, like they were touching from opposite ends of the earth.
but he had to see her. james could feel it, he could feel their relationship on its last drips, about to drain entirely from his hands, but he was trying as best he could to keep it full. the thought of losing alice was a thought that was too terrifying for james to even consider. in some selfish, stupidly GREEDY way, she was his now, and he wanted that, he did, he did, he did ( did he? ). so when sirius asked what are you and al doing for christmas? james’ only response was i’ll see you at dinner.
he found her in the ravenclaw common room, having been let in by an over-excited second year. she looked so peaceful, curled up in an armchair by the highest window. he almost smiled at the sight --- almost. stepping quietly through the near-empty common room, james came to an awkward stop a step away from her and cleared his throat as an announcement of his presence. ❛ hey, al. ❜ the words seemed to come out as he released a breath he hadn’t even realised he’d been holding, almost a sigh. in a fashion that was far too delayed, he leaned down to press a kiss against her forehead --- she felt alien against his lips. strangers attempting intimacy. ❛ sorry i haven’t come to see you --- ❜ he began, a cough interrupting his scattered thoughts. ❛ i’ve been, uh --- busy. ❜
。• * ☪ ❛ SCARED THEY’LL LIKE ME BETTER ? ❜ remus leaned casually against one of the vertical columns on his friend’s four-poster bed . despite his legs having been lazily flung across the comforter , he still had an aristocratic form about him ; as if he could scoff and insult an authority figure while still maintaining his poise . gracing james with his best james dean smolder , he tilted his head and looked at him over the top of his sunglasses ( worn specifically to hide the circles beneath his eyes ) . ❛ inevitability is a nasty thing , isn’t it ? your parents would LOVE to see you reaching out of your league . after all , little potter deserves the best and who , pray tell , is better than me ? ❜ almost immediately was his finger raised , wagging back and forth as a tsk , tsk emerged . ❛ that was a rhetorical question , prongs . the answer is NO ONE . ❜
❛ DUH , ❜ james drawled , shuffling himself up the bed to rest against the headboard . truth be told , mr and mrs potter had always been a fan of remus --- he was one of their favourites of james’ friends . they’d been writing james daily , asking if his friends would join them on their section of the table at the GREAT HOGWARTS CHRISTMAS , so much so that james was almost sick of hearing from them ( almost --- the potter’s were nothing if not a close family ) . ❛ sometimes i think your head might be too big for your own good , ❜ james chuckled .
sometimes james loved the idea of patrolling the halls late at night as part of his ‘ duties ’ --- other times he HATED it. if he were in a better mood, he would’ve rounded up his boys, thrown them under an invisibility cloak and had some fun. but frankly, without peter to join them, it just wasn’t the same. and knowing that he was alive now, but couldn’t join them ? well, james thought he had much better things to be doing than this. with a jumper pulled over his slim figure for some semblance of warmth, james was walking quickly through the east halls, ducking his head into every empty classroom --- empty, of course, until he found miss alecto carrow hidden at the top of the east tower. sighing with a small level of frustration, james knocked on the door of the classroom she was in, an eyebrow quirked, ready for when she saw him. ❛ don’t you think it’s a bit late, carrow ? sleep is invaluable, y’know. ❜
。• * ☪ ❛ A FAMILY HOLIDAY , ❜ he tutted , the edges of his eyes crinkling slightly as he read the flyer . ❛ an oxymoron if i’ve ever heard one . ❜ a light , albeit breathless chuckle decorated the silence as he leaned back in his chair , casually tossing the paper aside while doing so . the only thing that could make it a TRUE holiday would be that one pesky face the one belonging exclusively to peter pettigrew . sure , he had james and sirius , but he was tired of feeling like a piece of him was missing . call him selfish , but he wanted the whole damn package . why take two gold pieces when you could have three ? ❛ so how’s about it ? do i get to meet your parents ? or is it too early in our relationship ? ❜
james’ face scrunched up and his eyes squeezed lazily before he opened them to turn and look at remus who sat at the end of his bed . ❛ everyday’s a HOLIDAY when you’re with james potter , ❜ he mumbled , rubbing at his eyes to try and wake himself up . he hadn’t been asleep , but it sure damn felt like it --- truthfully , james hadn’t slept properly since he’d heard the news of peter . he was restless knowing his brother was out there , alive , and he couldn’t see him , and he was sure remi and siri were feeling the same . ❛ yer coming on a bit strong there , moony . we haven’t even slept together yet and now you wanna meet my parents ? ❜
❛ if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys who fall. ❜
* ╰ brandon arreaga ; 17 ; he/him —— wow, james potter sure has changed. i guess he is feeling isolated from the other gryffindor members. guess you can’t really blame them. i still remember them being so charming & incisive now they just seem dependent & inexorable. guess being a pureblood isn’t helping matters much either. i’m hopeful though. they’ll be just fine.
links: pinterest, stats
character parallels: bellamy blake ( the 100 ), shane madej ( buzzfeed unsolved ), jake peralta ( brooklyn nine-nine ), stefan salvatore ( the vampire diaries ), scott mccall ( teen wolf ), steve harrington ( stranger things )
james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.
fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth.
finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.
i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.
obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.
it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.
really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.
in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.
for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!
shit was not good, though. definitely was not.
despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!
becoming animagi!!!!!!
it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons
except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways
first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like… yikes.
this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point — he gave up on her.
and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!
oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and remus the werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him.
he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life was heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.
now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a super strict, super intense, brooding weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.
get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!
now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just…. popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.
i hate him.
the disappearance of one of his best friends, one peter pettigrew, landed james to flop pretty fucking hard on the side of seriousness. once you spend months without knowing where your best friend is, thinking he’s dead, you’re bound to start to lose a bit of that which once made you smile. it was this piled on top of what james had already been feeling which led the head boy to start finding ways he could join the revolution within the walls of hogwarts --- it’s been bloody hard but james is determined to make a difference, to make sure no one else he loves suffers in a war that they never asked to fight in the first place.
anyway here’s some fun facts that didn’t fit up top
james is a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )
he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!
super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side…. i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad well sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.
takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like… idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.
he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.
