From planning a pregnancy announcement to planning a funeral.
It's been a while since I posted here in tumblr. I needed a place to share my story. Didn't need for many to see just for me to remember how I feel at the moment.
Last month, on the 17th of August 2025, we heard the worst news we could ever hear as a married couple expecting their first baby. At 14 weeks, our baby boy lost his life in my womb.
At the time, I cried but not too much, I was numb, in shock. I was told the worst news and the plan on what will happen next. I had to take pills to stop the pregnancy and deliver our baby. They gave me the first pill and sent me home to come back in 2 days for the next pill.
On the way home I felt empty. It was the most quiet car ride we had in years. Our baby is gone.
Later that evening I delivered our baby in the toilet, luckily I was able to catch the baby. We then found out he was a boy. I wanted to cry but there were no tears. I was sad. Got teary eyed but not a full breakdown. I had to ring the hospital and go back early since we had the baby already.
The next day, we brought him to the church, said a little prayer and went to the hospital again. We had to sit in the waiting room, full of pregnant women, with our baby in the jar beside us. I had mixed feelings, still numb, still in shock.
The receptionist asked us if it was for a pregnancy check, I said I had a miscarriage. I told the nurse everything and brought us to a separate waiting room away from the others.
Baby was brought to lab for testing and I was brought to a private room to be prepared for the next pill. I had to go through painful contractions to deliver the placenta and the rest of the tissues left from the pregnancy. Everytime something passed, I had to call the midwife so they could take it for sampling. The pain was unbearable. I had bad period cramps but this was worse. It would probably be similar to being in labor.
After all that, the bereavement team came in. We asked for inkprints and a funeral. We picked out a coffin and added a toy with him inside. Everything was paid for.
Two days later, we had our funeral. Aunties from my work came with us. It was the first time I saw other people since everything happened. I couldn't stop the tears when I saw them, when I hugged them. We said our prayers and burried our son beside the other angel babies.
