dirty punk

max - 29 - they/them - alleged "communist little punk boy"

[shostabroviiich]

what a handsome boy ♥️♥️♥️

[guerrillatech]

[toasthaste]

can someone tell me what this picture in this airbnb could possibly be other than some sort of angel presenting their asshole to the viewer

[spraxinoscope]

Rorschach test, final level, legendary difficulty

[my-dailydreams]

[lordofthegringos-deactivated202]

>at feminism conference

>first male speaker in event's 50 year history

>great and terrible honor

>nervous

>get on stage

>40,000 people staring at me in silence

>all girls

>nervous

>introduce myself

>silence

>shakily bring up first slide of PowerPoint

>"things that I think women like, based on listening to women for 30 years"

>silence

>could hear a pin drop

>somewhere in the crowd a gun is cocked

>deep breath

>next slide

>"Whip-Its"

>deafening silence

>oh god

>I'm done for

>it's so over

>suddenly

>a slow clap

>slow clap builds to a few dozen claps

>few dozen builds to hundreds

>thunderous applause from all 40,000 women

>"finally!" they say

>oh shit

>tenative confidence

>next slide

>"Video games"

>applause continues

>women are stomping their feet

>hooting

>hollering

>next slide

>"treats sometimes"

>cheering

>whistles

>crowd of women chanting

>next slide

>"end of presentation. thank you for listening"

>women applaud me off stage

>pass the upcoming presenter back stage

>is a woman who is going to do magic tricks with a lion

>"thanks for getting them warmed up rookie"

>oh fuck do women like magic tricks

>magician goes on stage

>the women fucking love the magic tricks with a lion

>every day I learn more about women

[razerbackbitch]

[findmeinthealps]

guy on a work call just accidentally said “have a nice freak-end” instead of weekend and now i desperately want that to be the new meme. have a nice freakend everybody

[mixedmedialesbianism]

Types of Butches, as shown through the Muppets

[probuccalfat]

i cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you should ideally give birth in a fully equipped and staffed medical facility or if you insist on giving birth through an alternative method you should be within minutes of a hospital and i mean under 5 minutes if you’d like me to be really fucking frank

[probuccalfat]

like i can get on board with so much feminist theory and stuff, truly, and i do acknowledge that obstetrics and gynaecology as a field holds blind spots that are egregious (e.g. infant and maternal mortality in the black community) but there is no empowerment in risky birthing practices that our foremothers, and i’m not mincing words, often suffered through. birthing is natural, but it is not “easy” or even “innate”, it is best practiced guided and witnessed by those that know what to do in an emergency. you are not reconnecting to any innate feminine nature by practicing dangerous birthing practices—you are recreating a time when the bodies and lives of women barely mattered and it was expected that death would/could occur at insane and tragic rates.

[probuccalfat]

this is a hill i will spend the rest of my days fighting on because while i am not interested in birthing children myself, i have an incredible passion and interest in the field of labour and delivery. it’s been one of my greatest joys to play even a small part in delivering neonates. i do not want anyone to risk their babies over a deeply, deeply misguided idea of free birth being “the natural way” when natural is not always synonymous with the safest way.

[anarchohellenism]

So many people think it's either midwife or doctor. It's not. Have your midwife or doula in the hospital room with you, I promise the doctors don't give a shit. Hell, you can have her do the delivery itself and just have the doctors there as emergency backup! But for the love of your baby, go to the fucking hospital.

[probuccalfat]

yup. a lot of hospitals are willing to work with you to realize your birthing plan as much as they can within safe limits and parameters. my hospital is closely and highly allied with midwives all up and down the coast, with the explicit instruction to call the midwife when we know a labouring patient is about to deliver so we can respect their plan. genuinely, you can have almost any kind of birth you want—just make sure that there are qualified professionals in attendance, and it’s not just midwives or OBGYNS you need. you have no idea when you’ll need a respiratory therapist on call, you have no idea when you will need a blood transfusion within minutes or risk certain death, L&D nurses do not have the same training as NICU nurses if a baby declines rapidly. it’s a literal thousand things that can go wrong and you should be in the best place for them to go wrong.

[bosspigeon]

so bc i am a Gross Dude my friends i and sometimes rate our burps and my coworker (who is a teen girl) burped in front of me once and i instinctively rated it

so now every time she burps she looks to me hopefully for a rating and bc she has delicate little baby burps i now have to create an entirely new Burp Rating System unique to her bc i rate anything below a 5 and she looks at me like this

[kaylmao]

you could spell it like horce

[crematedequally]

just found out my husband took a class online and paid 30 american dollars to become a registered and ordained minister of Gnome Church so he can perform marriages, funerals, and other religious services for friends and family. they sent him a gnome hat in the mail and i am a little mad that i didn't think to do it first myself because that's funny as hell. if either of his siblings get married to someone in the future they are going to have to allow him to officiate because he is now actively looking for people who want a Gnome Priest

[shostabroviiich]

there's something irresistible about me to twinky bisexual men in their early 20s

[tiktoksijustthinkareneat]

I'm begging you to turn the sound on

[drtanner]

Spring.

[sage-nebula]

Spring.

[self-righteous-god]

Spring.

[troubleshootingspacekangaroo]

Spring.

[royalninja]

Spring.

[roboticutie]

✨️GOLDEN.......✨️

Mouse 🐁

[marlinspirkhall]

Everytime this crosses my dash my eyes light up because I know my favourite part is coming. Spring. Spring. Spring. Spring. Spring.

[amazoogle]

alternate timeline where trump pursued his true dream of being a stand up comic instead

[intactics]

alternate timeline where trump was born lower middle class in New Jersey and became the greatest used car salesman on the east coast

[bruzum]

[solarprominence]

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up