Joely @joelyoelyoely - Tumblr Blog

akindplace

Iulia

akindplace

Iulia

alisonzai

iambrillyant

“focus on what gives you peace, not what consistently takes it away.”

— iambrillyant

soracities

What is your favourite small, painfully human gesture?

and also if we can just:

heavensghost

what is it called when u have a feeling and ur like ‘this is all I’m going to feel forever’ and then u have a different feeling and ur like ‘this is all im going to feel forever’ and then u feel something different and u think ‘this is all I’m going to feel forever’

iguanamouth

theunitofcaring

load-bearing

Sometimes people hit a place in their life where things are going really well. They like their job and are able to be productive at it; they have energy after work to pursue the relationships and activities they enjoy; they’re taking good care of themselves and rarely get sick or have flareups of their chronic health problems; stuff is basically working out. Then a small thing about their routine changes and suddenly they’re barely keeping their head above water.

(This happens to me all the time; it’s approximately my dominant experience of working full-time.)

I think one thing that’s going on here is that there are a bunch of small parts of our daily routine which are doing really important work for our wellbeing. Our commute involves a ten-minute walk along the waterfront and the walking and fresh air are great for our wellbeing (or, alternately, our commute involves no walking and this makes it way more frictionless because walking sucks for us). Our water heater is really good and so we can take half-hour hot showers, which are a critical part of our decompression/recovery time. We sit with our back to the wall so we don’t have to worry about looking productive at work as long as the work all gets done. The store down the street is open really late so late runs for groceries are possible. Our roommate is a chef and so the kitchen is always clean and well-stocked.

It’s useful to think of these things as load-bearing. They’re not just nice - they’re part of your mental architecture, they’re part of what you’re using to thrive. And when they change, life can abruptly get much harder or sometimes just collapse on you entirely. And this is usually unexpected, because it’s hard to notice which parts of your environment and routine are load bearing. I often only notice in hindsight. “Oh,” I say to myself after months of fatigue, “having my own private space was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a scary drop in weight, “being able to keep nutrition shakes next to my bed and drink them in bed was load-bearing.” “Oh,” after a sudden struggle to maintain my work productivity, “a quiet corner with my back to the wall was load-bearing.”

When you know what’s important to you, you can fight for it, or at least be equipped to notice right away if it goes and some of your ability to thrive goes with it. When you don’t, or when you’re thinking of all these things as ‘nice things about my life’ rather than ‘load-bearing bits of my flourishing as a person’, you’re not likely to notice the strain created when they vanish until you’re really, really hurting.

galeru

The Book of knowledge, 1912.

20o1-deactivated20240129-deacti

friendly reminder that it’s not your responsibility to be a version of yourself that you don’t resonate with anymore, just because people are more comfortable with who you used to be. You don’t have to take steps back in your growth or relive what you’ve outgrown just to keep certain connections alive.

paulfrankjuliusthemonkey

HOW TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS, 2021, by Yumi Sakugawa

brainscapes

“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success – none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.” - Ram Dass