A Modest Example of Man's Hubris and All the Waifus'

(image in banner pixiv 90478038) [ALL fics, including bonus Hololive-related content, are available on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J3Puffin/works] Writer for fun and never for profit.

[johannstutt413]

The New Perma-Pinned Queue (In Case I Ever Get Back Around to Writing These)

So that people don’t have to ask.

IN THE WORKS:

(requested by foxgirl-warcriminal) Ash/Schwarz

(requested by callmen1cc) Saileach/Lee II - Someone didn’t cast Lee as Saileach’s fiancé, with predictable (if you’re Lee) results

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Iris returns something to Whisperain from before her last reset

(requested by anonymous) Ash is asked to train RI’s younglings…which kinda sets her off

(requested by anonymous) Shaw becomes an even greater Rap God

(requested by calligomiles) Rosa/Nearl III

THE REST OF THE QUEUE

(requested by calligomiles) Horsebucket II: It’s All Coming Together 

(requested by calligomiles) Swire/Rosa V: Sweet as Honey

(requested by calligomiles) Swire/Talulah (in a world where Koschei doesn’t exist that fucking prick)

(requested by calligomiles) FrostNova/Alina/Talulah, in an idyllic setting (similar world setup as Talulah/Swire imo)

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Dusk/Whisperain

(requested by mathmaticalknight) What If…Nian made Chen’s sword

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Bagpipe/Reed [separated to make sure work gets done]

(requested by calligomiles) Zima/Gavial III (with Tomimi squeeze toy)

(requested by calligomiles) Zima/Ifrit

(requested by calligomiles) Scavenger/ShiraYuki III

(requested by calligomiles) Grani/Swire

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Blemishine’s DND character is a Blackguard

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Shining becomes Blemishine’s teacher

(requested by calligomiles) Plat/Gravel/Nearl II

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Gladiia gives Andreana the Abyss Hunter talk

(requested by calligomiles) Zima/Leto in the angstline

(requested by calligomiles) Rosa/Istina in the angstline

(requested by calligomiles) Mudrock/Gummy/BP. Maybe a date or smth?

(requested by calligomiles) Gummy/Rosa/BP [BP’s two mutually-exclusive girlfriends]

(requested by calligomiles) Zima/Glaucus II

(requested by calligomiles) Rosa/BP II

(requested by calligomiles) Leto/Specter II

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Angelina/Utage III

(requested by anonymous) Blitz lends RI HR his linguist skillz

(requested by anonymous) Blitz and Liskarm training session

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Nian and Saria’s Wedding (likely gonna wait for Ling to do this one)

(requested by calligomiles) Rosa/Gavial III

(requested by anonymous) Jessica goes to Ash for tactical grenade advice

(requested by calligomiles) The Precious Few Double Date Saga: Zima/Glaucus//Leto/Specter

(requested by calligomiles) The Precious Few Double Date Saga: Zima/Glaucus//Gummy/Skadi

(requested by calligomiles) The Precious Few Double Date Saga: Gummy/Skadi//Rosa/Blue Poison

(requested by calligomiles) The Precious Few Double Date Saga: Leto/Specter//Rosa/Blue Poison

(requested by calligomiles) The Precious Few Double Date Saga: Zima/Glaucus//Istina/Deepcolor

(requested by anonymous) Tachanka’s Shumika is left unattended…and the Sanktas have it (God help Closure)

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Amiya must address the trainers’ need to train

(requested by anonymous) Team Rainbow has drinks with the vets and decide to tell the Chimera story

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Rosa is another unofficial Aegirian

(requested by anonymous) RI sends a portal back to Rainbow…and leaves some folks on accident

(requested by anonymous) Blitz points his gun at the bad guys (...alright everyone chill out-)

(requested by anonymous) Ash and Dobermann put the green recruits through a week of hell

(requested by anonymous) Dur-Nar, Jaye, Matterhorn, and Ethan (just cuz) go on a culinary global field trip

(requested by anonymous) Tachanka retrieves a list Kuro to return to Vanilla

(requested by anonymous) Faust joins RI to save/stop Mephisto

(requested by anonymous) Sussurro/Doc

(requested by calligomiles; continuing from this) BP/Ptilopsis...2!!!!

(requested by anonymous) FrostNova survives, acts on her RI membership, and attempts to get Patriot to join as well

(requested by anonymous) Kal’tsit tries to adopt again (this time, Crownslayer)

(requested by anonymous) Tachanka (w/ Absinthe along) go save the USSGG

(requested by anonymous) LowSanity!Doc is a blank sheet of paper...and the troublemakers brought crayons

(requested by anonymous) Team Rainbow and the weirdness of hearing various dishes shouted aloud in combat

(requested by calligomiles) Mint asks about Ina’s AO-chan

(requested by anonymous) RI Ops find Ash and Tachanka paying respects to Miarow

(requested by anonymous) Lighthearted Doc/Kal’tsit [maybe doctoring together?]

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Blemishine/Fartooth (the arena pairing we never saw)

(requested by calligomiles) Shaw/Calliope Mori, To Yeet or To Be Yote?

(requested by anonymous) Candle Knight Added to Nearl’s Harem!

(requested by anonymous) Rainbow teaches the Reserve Ops how to do Breach and Clear the right way

(requested by anonymous) May discovers Rainbow’s true history... because someone left their phone somewhere. GG.

(requested by calligomiles) Flametail/Ashlock

(requested by calligomiles) Gravel/Platinum

(requested any anonymous) Earthspirit and Mudrock, bonding over... rocks, talking about rocks and how they communicate with them

(requested by calligomiles) Zima and Swire discover astrology says they’re not compatible and resolve to directly spite them

(requested by anonymous) Exusiai accidentally shoots a Sankta bystander during a solo mission gone wrong and becomes a fallen angel

(requested by anonymous) Ch’en goes to Executor and Frost for shotgun pointers

(requested by anonymous) Someone’s sighted a cryptid in the kitchen!...It’s just the Doctor being themselves, though.

(requested by anonymous) Ash wants to learn more about Columbia, so folks direct her to Mountain

(requested by anonymous) Matterhorn and Jaye discover culinary abominations against God and man...which Hibiscus did not create

(requested by anonymous) SilverAsh secretly learns modern slang; Cliffheart, Matterhorn and Courier have no idea what they’re in for

(requested by mathmaticalknight) Blemishine has Centaurea merch, and shenanigans WILL ensue

(requested by anonymous) Sesa wants to know more about Ash and Tachanka’s kit

(requested by anonymous) ShiraYuki has a cute side - as her ferret-time shows - and Scavenger is about to learn about it

(requested by mathmaticalknight) The Doctor at G&K pt.2

(requested by anonymous) Provence’s massive tail

(requested by calligomiles) Jackie/Swire III: Diabetes in White

(requested by anonymous) The Doc and Tachanka talk USSGG

(requested by anonymous)  Talulah tries to reconnect with Ch'en on her vacation...and nearly gets tangled into another Dossoles incident in the process.

(requested by anonymous)  A Day in the Life of Amiya

(requested by anonymous) Ash gets Infected during an Op

(requested by anonymous) Exusiai uses those wings to actually fly

(requested by anonymous) Skadi and Specter find out Gladiia has literally the best physical results of any Operator

(requested by calligomiles) Mint/Podenco - Even Softer OkaKoro vibes

(requested by anonymous) Dusk has been introduced to the world of Anime and Manga...Oh God

(requested by coldgoldlazarus) Reed needs affection, send in the girlfriends!

(requested by anonymous)  New operator's first day at Rhodes Island, onboarding paperwork, getting the tour and their dorm assignments, seeing a grumpy-looking dragon lady walk right out of a painting, cafeteria tickets... wait, what?

(requested by anonymous) Blitz was invited by the Leithanien Operators to visit their home country for a simple trip. However, trouble follows close behind them.

(requested by anonymous) Ash and Ch’en clear an enemy stronghold, just the two of ‘em 

(requested by anonymous) Tachanka’s there the next time Rosa attempts

(requested by coldgoldlazarus) Platinum attempts the roller, Fem!Doc is there when she fails. Also Gravel.

(requested by anonymous) The only Medic that can handle Platinum is Hibiscus

(requested by anonymous) Ash, SilverAsh, and Ashlock go on a ‘solo’ mission

(requested by anonymous) Cliffheart, Meteor and Vermeil came across varieties of hunting trap prototypes in the workshop; turns out, they’re Frost’s

(requested by callmen1cc) Saileach/Lee III - Aak and Bagpipe crack the code

(requested by coldgoldlazarus) Eunectes/Gavial/Akafuyu sandwich

(requested by anonymous) Ash accidentally becomes Jessica’s new role model

(requested by anonymous) Sesa and the Sanktas attempt to master the Shumika... It’s Not Going Well

(requested by anonymous) Cliffheart, Frost, and Meteor go camping in a snowy place

(requested by anonymous) Rainbow Six propose a Rhodes Invitational- hey wait a second

(requested by callmencc) Lee's wedding dress

(requested by anonymous) Ash denies enjoying being a babysitter (feat. Suzuran, Popukar, and Shamare)

(requested by anonymous) Blitz becomes a language instructor

(requested by anonymous) Exu’s post-showdown party w/ PL and Rainbow

(requested by anonymous) Mountain/Shaw and the Incredulity of Their Co-Workers

(requested by anonymous) “Hey, Ash... What the fuck was that about? Why’d you tear into that guy like that?“

(requested by anonymous) Blitz and PL try to put together a joint surprise party for their respective Snipers... They tried, okay?

(requested my mathmaticalknight) Irene/Specter

(requested my mathmaticalknight) Bagpipe/Horn

(requested my mathmaticalknight) Tail Club III

(requested by anonymous) RI gets to mess with Rainbow tech oh fuck

(requested by anonymous) Tachanka tries to play hero and his Ursus family says nyet

(requested by coldgoldlazarus) Eunectes/Pozyomka (within the context of Eunectes/Gavial/Pozyomka)

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[tfemflightinstructor]

You can do this in airplanes actually and lemme tell you. It gets . Heated.

The argument between a 70 year old man who hasn’t had a biennial flight review in 40 years who cuts off a cfi who has 250 hours and trained at a 141 school that prioritizes check-ride pass rate over actual Skill building is one of the most heated arguments over radio you will Ever hear.

Both are in the wrong and both think they’re the sky god’s gift to aviation and will argue always forever and ever

[tfemflightinstructor]

Tags by @scrubdowner is SENDING ME

[fisher309]

Both citing unrelated regulations at each other

[duckdotcom]

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

[ancient-debris]

Iron breastplate to ward off fairies, Fishnet leggings to ward off cod.

[frightfullytreeish]

[solarchaotica]

[static-mutt-left-deactivated202]

You're evil and you know it

[communismlives]

good thing they're hidden from god and the devil

[ritahayworrth]

happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY

[ritahayworrth]

link to article

[cassiterite-tenring]

hi, filipino here. just want to say that our independence day is june 12, not july 4. july 4 is when the united states government decided that they would recognize our freedom, specifically because it is your independence day and they wanted to cement their cultural hegemony over our country. and because of their influence on our country this was recognized for a time as our independence day. we still commemorate it, but i hope you can understand why we don’t want our independence day to be associated so closely with our former colonizer. it wasn’t even a work holiday for us.

june 12 is the day that we filipinos declared our own independence for ourselves, and that is what we celebrate as independence day

[houseofglass]

happy june 12 to you

[finder-plus]

commissioned @mikufanclub a while back

[homunculus-argument]

If you're trying to tell someone that something they did inadvertedly hurt your feelings, and they treat this conversation like a debate where their goal is to successfully argue that they did nothing wrong, and that you have no right to feel upset, that's your cue that you should give up trying to have any kind of a real, genuine relationship with them. Everyone will sometimes end up doing something that you hadn't realised would upset someone you care about, you can't be constantly aware of every single thing at all times. But turning the following conversation into an argument of uncompromisingly justifying and defending their actions is a sign you shouldn't ignore.

They don't think that upsetting you is the problem. What they have a problem with is you thinking you deserve better than how they want to treat you.

[theonewhopoops]

While I ultimately agree so I'm reblogging, just adding an additional perspective of my own:

It might not be so malicious a motivation. Instead of having a problem with "you thinking you deserve better than how they want to treat you," it could be zero percent about you and 100% about them in their mind (even ifthey can'tconsciously express this). It could be that the problem they have with this situation is the idea that they're doing harm, ESPECIALLY the idea that they're doing harm when they think they aren't.

I've met plenty of people that fall into this alternative category, where they ONLY see how hard they're trying, how stressed they are, how "good" of a person they're striving to be (from their worldview), and then they're told that - no - in fact they are hurting someone. Which can sound like "you are wrong, you are bad, you do bad things, and this has always been true and will always be true" so they get defensive and reactive.

All that is to say, the end result is the same: they may debate and defend instead of purposefully listen to your needs. YOU don't have to be the one to try to walk them through "how to calmly listen to someone without becoming defensive" or "how to reasonably accept criticism and talk through interpersonal issues" either way.

[homunculus-argument]

"Be not afraid" you say to the startled angel as you crawl out of its shower drain. It doesn't know how you got there, or whether you know what those words mean. It doesn't like the thought that you know that you frightened it. Maybe you've just heard those words before and assumed that that's just the sound you're supposed to make when you greet someone.

[theblogginggoth]

By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!

[nadiacreek]

This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.

[elodieunderglass]

This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.

[mostro-rotto]

[cryoverkiltmilk]

"This is my weird son. He can't climb for shit, but he is handsome and strong."

[cryoverkiltmilk]

#cats be like#is anybody adopt that#and don't wait for an answer

[stalker-among-the-stars]

Everything that isn't food is a cat from the perspective of a cat. Cats can look upon the true form of eldritch monstrosities and keep their sanity. They'd just see another cat. A fucking weird-looking cat, but a cat nonetheless.

[guribot]

who knows what she'll do when she realizes the shorts don't button

[thebibliosphere]

I can’t help but feel like the the human condition would be greatly improved by the ability to remove our spines, whip them around to get the kinks out, and put them back in again.

[thebibliosphere]

Three responses to this post:

Chronic pain people: Oh mood.

The gays: I too wish for the intimacy of someone removing my spine

The people focusing entirely too much on the word ‘kink’: Heh. Kink.

[meret118]

4 responses: For some reason I was thinking spines like a porcupine, and was very confused at first.

[thebibliosphere]

Valid.

[gonsplode]

[a-book-of-creatures]

Mutuals feel free to pick me up and drop me off in front of prime real estate that’s all mine

I will be scared but I will appreciate it

[emjoy398]

[homunculus-argument]

A god that dictates seemingly arbitrary and oddly specific rules to its followers, not because it demands absolute blind obedience, but because it's fascinated by human creativity and wants to see what kind of rules-lawyering the followers come up with in order to circumvent the rules, or how to interpret them in a way in which they can still abide by the rules when the letter of the law would be impossible or highly inconvenient to obey.

Like the command says "You Must Not Wet Your Hands With This Specific Substance", and there's one faction that has decided that since it's practically impossible to not ever touch the thing, your hands won't be touching it if you're wearing gloves. Another sect has decided that it doesn't count if you only handle the substance when it's frozen solid, so your hands don't get wet from touching it. A third one has figured out how to obtain or produce some substance that is essentially identical in every way, but has a slightly different chemical structure, so it's not the same substance.

And then there's the ones who figured out how to handle the entire process by only using their feet.

[homunculus-argument]

Are you a troll? Because a finn shitting themselves over the russian boogeyman is so stupid that it seems trollish. Ukraine is the unlucky winner because it was a part of the ussr. Finland never was. Russia didn't pick a bordering country at random (unless you're expecting it to attack china now).

Never letting our guard down around Russia is the whole reason why Finland was never part of the USSR.

[johannstutt413]

Please find better bait anon this is just embarrassing.

[homunculus-argument]

Any time someone starts some bullshit about how humans are hyperindividualistic and inherently selfish and exclusively motivated by self-intetest, I'll just tell them to go ahead and go do it then. Go live alone. Fuck off into the woods to make sure that no society ever benefits from your presence. See if you can teach yourself how to make a spear out of a rock or a shelter for one from nothing but your own wits and the nature around you. Go see how natural that feels, how happy it makes you to know that you don't need nobody and that nobody's life is improved by your presence.

[homunculus-argument]

So how come you don't have that skillset? Solitary animals that don't meet other members of their species outside of mating seasons tend to just fuck off from the nest and be completely fine on their own. Rattlesnakes don't need instructions for how to rattlesnake. Needing to be taught human survival skills implies you would need other people.

[tomato-enthousiast]

I think that argument is specious, actually, because by your rational, we wouldn't need to be taught social skills, when we in fact do.

Not to mention our natural habitat isn't the city, and for the majority of our existence as a species, we lived in woods and plains, employing the sets of skills you speak of. Admittedly we did so in small societies but there was no such thing as division of labor for gatherer hunters. Everybody just did a bit of everything. It wasn't until we became sedentary that we started farming and with it the developed individual specialisation.

Now obviously we are gregarious creatures, so most of us have a want for human contact. But that doesn't necessarily translate to an actual need within survival.

Also rattlesnakes have stopped rattling because it's meant as a preventative warning but when humans hear it they get scared and kill the buggers. So a lot of rattlesnakes are skipping the ominous warning and going straight to the biting. Thus proving their behavior isn't instinctive but learned, and even perhaps passed on from individual to individual

[homunculus-argument]

I know we're arguing about different things at this point, but if people didn't need people and didn't feel a need to live in reciprocal social networks, you wouldn't feel a need to tell me all this. You'd just fuck off into the woods never to be seen again.

[tomato-enthousiast]

That's fair, but you didn't say people didn't need people, you said people were selfish and hyper individualistic. Suppose they were, they wouldn't fuck into the woods, they'd keep living in a society that provides them with things they need and can't make for themselves. Like a car. And they'd do so by contributing as little as possible to society itself, hire workers and pay them less than the value of their labor and then sell their products for more than they're worth, and then they'd commit tax fraud. Sound familiar?

[homunculus-argument]

We have somehow looped around to you telling me the exact same point as I was making to begin with. But wording it as if I disagreed with own original point that I was saying.

Can anyone who's good at putting thoughts into words give me some constructive criticism? Like take a red pen and give me some pointers on where I went wrong with trying to say words in the correct order to make myself understood. Someone give me a rundown on how this keeps happening.

[johannstutt413]

Might be the willingness to engage in dialogue that pulls them out of the woodwork. If you’ll give the time of day to reply twice to someone who can’t spell enthusiast, they figure they might as well get in too.

[puchidol-deactivated20150318]

[kincyr]

I’ve had this queued for 4 fucking years so it’d be reblogged on a Monday. the next time this can be accurately reblogged is in 6 years

[ziyal]

this shot of the joker pulling up his pants leg seems to imply that the white part of his feet is actually just bare skin, not fabric spats over a pair of dress shoes, as i had always assumed?? which means that the animated series joker has actually been wearing, like, kitten heeled pumps this entire time

[powrbottomjoker]

Just wanted to let you know I thought about this post so hard I ended up cosplaying it 😌

[brawltogethernow]

#the damage buff from that url

Huh what url– OH.

[croakerverse-chronological]

[powrbottomjoker]

I thought I had accidentally deleted this and just about died man THIS IS MY LEGACY.

[foone]