John Guam

I am John Guam. The inventor of Guam. Never Technique.

[john-guam]

Techniquing Club Update: 2026

Hello fellow Guamians. It appears that even after long periods of surveillance, strict shlumpledinker enforcement, and the krangybangy of thousands of shlumples, the Techniquing Club still persists in my land.

This is a devastating situation that we're having to deal with, but rest assured, I and the shlumpledinkers are working tirelessly to put an end to the Club.

Thank you for keeping Guam a technique free place for everyone to enjoy.

Never technique.

[john-guam]

mfw shlumples

[john-guam]

I hate Lufthansa.

[john-guam]

What.

[john-guam]

I dread the day Hoedown-Showdown happens.

I'll be in my room. Don't talk to me.

[john-guam]

Please stop techniquing in the Papa John's toilet.

We don't appreciate it.

[john-guam]

PSA: Fenching is techniquing.

Mutual techniquing is techniquing.

Anything that results in the expulsion of gooblagoo (Excluding kabingyboingy) is techniquing.

There is no difference in severity. Any of these can warrant a krangybangy or a rumpypumpy.

[john-guam]

👎

[john-guam]

Historic flag from the Guam-Djibouti conflict, featuring me, and John Djibouti, the inventor of Djibouti.

[john-guam]

Techniquing is bad.