It was driving him mad, madder than usual, but nothing was going his way. Jack was on the brink of ramming the Pearl into a bunch of rocks, mountains, whatever.
His compass, was turning in all sorts of directions, never making up itâs mind, never giving a heading. He knew what he exactly wanted, so why couldnât he just get the stupid thing to work?
âStill no heading, Captain?â Mr Gibbs asked.
Jack frowned, staring down at the blasted thing, itâs constant spinning was beginning to make him dizzy, âNo.â
Gibbs gave him a reassuring smile, âIâm sure weâll get one sooner or later.â and then walked off to go busy himself with something, but Jack couldnât bother to pay attention, because she walked out.
That certain feeling in Jackâs stomach creeped up again, the same feeling that always seemed to make itself known whenever you were around him, he hated it, it made him feel funny. He didnât know why he felt like this, he wanted to stay away from you so it would come to a halt, but at the same time, he wanted every excuse to be close to you. It was all he longed for, to have you close to him, to have you devoted to him, and only him.
Some nights, he would have dreams about you, whether that be the two of you sharing very passionate and intimate moments, or him losing you, in one way or another.
âNever would I have thought⊠that the great Jack Sparrow wouldâve fallen in loveâŠâ Tia Dalmaâs voice rang out.
Snapping out of his trance, the said Captain jumped at hearing her voice, âWhat?â
âDonât act daft. You are in love with the girl, Jack.â
His voice lowered, âI believe you are deeply mistaken, my first, and only, love, is the sea.â
âKeep fooling yourself, but know that the mind will never win over the heart.â
He let out a laugh of disbelief, âI wouldnât let that happen. I donât do love.â
Suddenly, she reached out and snatched the compass off of him, âOi!â
Placing it back into his hands, they both watched the little dial spin around multiple times, still seeming like it had no direction in mind. âSee? What did I say?â He smiled, but that soon vanished, when, for the first time, the spinning stopped, and - not - to his surprise, it was pointing directly at you.
Tia Dalmaâs eyes stared up at him, with a knowing look. Jack nervously laughed, âDonât be absurd.â He pulled the compass away from her, and made his way over to the wheel, âMaster Gibbs! We have a heading!â
âThatâs great Captain!â His first mate said, looking over at his superiorâs finger pointing in one direction, then in the opposite, âUh.. Which way?â He looked over at Jack, who seemed to be very⊠displeased. Gibbs visibly jumped when the compass was loudly snapped shut, âJack?â
âMake your way to Tortuga.â
Jack slammed the door of his cabin close, and immediately began to pace back and forth, the floorboards creeking with every heavy step he took.
This couldnât be possible. This wasnât right, it wasnât supposed to happen. How could he have let this happen?
He ran his hand down his face, he needed more rum.
After finishing every bottle left in his cabin, Jack threw open the door, discovering that it was already dark, not that it really made a difference.
He quickly slipped into rum cellar, picked up four bottles, three in one hand, one in the other, of his beloved rum, and came out of there as quickly as he went in.
Then, he came face to face with you.
âAh!â He let out a yelp, âW-What are you doing?!â
You were confused as to why he was yelling, especially at this time, âWhat? What do you mean?â
Straightening up, he repeated, âI mean. What are you doing? Here. At this time. Shouldnât you be sleeping?â
âI could be asking you the same thing,â
âThat you could, love,â he lifted a finger up, âbut I did ask first.â
Reaching out, you grabbed a bottle from his hand, âWell, if you must know, Jack, I couldnât sleep. Iâm thinking this also applies to you?â You smiled at him, and, god, he almost died on the spot, while you opened the bottle and took a quick swig of the liquid. Jack couldnât hold back the smile that managed to creep up onto his face, as he gave you a short nod.
âOkay, now itâs my turn to ask, whatâs keeping⊠Jack Sparrow awake at this time, and drunk out of his mind?â
He swallowed nervously, pondering whether he should tell you. One part of him wanted to throw it all up, tell you how much you meant to him, how he finally came to his senses and how he was head over heels for you. Yet, the other, wanted to keep his feelings locked up, never to see the light of day again, he was praying for them to disappear.
He gazed down at your lips, then his eyes travelled up to meet yours, âWould you really like to know?â You could barely hear him, even the gentle crashes of the waves against the pearl were louder than his unusually soft voice.
Nodding, you got closer to him, and he felt his heart begin to beat faster than it already was, he felt as if he was running from Davy Jones himself, something heâd much rather be doing right now. âWell, love, Iâll tell you. But,â and, for a second time, he lifted his finger up - he seemed to do that a lot, you noticed. Lowering his voice he said, âYou have to promise not to tell,â
âI wonât.â You whispered back.
A heavy breath left his lips, âI⊠seem to have come to a⊠conclusion recently, which I didnât seem to believe at first,â You silently encouraged him to carry on, you could tell he was hesitant. It was worrying, to say the least, you had never seen Jack like this, you doubt anyone ever had. He continued, â(y/n)⊠I- You make me feel things Iâve never felt before, for anyone, and youâre just- Iâm always thinking about you, I canât you out of my head. You drive me insane, (y/n), and I have no idea why.â
Then, you did something neither of you expected, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. Instantly, he melted into it, letting you take control. He allowed you to deepen the kiss, the rum bottles dropped from his hands, clattering onto the wooden floor, and lay forgotten, as you and Jack moved toward his cabin, never once separating.
Your hands moved from his upper arms to his face, wanting him closer, while his hands stayed at his sides.
Eventually, one thing lead to another, and there were now clothes scattered all over the floor, with you wrapped up, and asleep in Jackâs arms.
This was better than any dream he had, he thought, as he looked at the marks he left on you. Trailing his hand up and down your bare arm, he smiled, admiring you in your sleep. You were so beautiful, prettier than anything else in the world, he could look at you for hours and never get bored.
But then, the doubt and the guilt kicked in. This was wrong. He shouldnât â couldnât be with you. It was like putting a target on your head, it wasnât fair. If you were with him, you would only be getting hurt, nothing good could come out of this.
It saddened him that he had to do this, he couldnât stand being away from you, just after you confirmed your feelings for one another, but it was for the best. You would be better off without him as a lover â you would find someone better than him, someone deserving of your love, who wouldnât get you killed.
Slowly untangling himself from you, he slipped out from under the covers and began to dress himself, trying to make as minimal noise as possible. Putting his coat on, he walked over to your side of the bed, and kneeled down, kissing your cheek first, then, pressing a light kiss onto your lips, âIâm sorry, it has to be like this, but itâs for your own good. I love you.â He whispered and then left the room.
The sunlight peeked through the small windows of the cabin, and you slowly opened your eyes, realising that Jack was no longer in bed with you, in fact, it seemed like he had been gone for a long time, due to the cold bedside.
After you made yourself presentable, you went looking for Jack, who you found in the rum cellar, again.
You laced his fingers with yours and asked, âWhy did you leave this morning?â
He flinched, and ripped his hand away from yours, as if you had some sort of disease, âItâs none of your business, what I do. Incase youâve forgotten, I am the Captain of this ship, and I do not have to tell you about my every move. Remember your place, or Iâll have you thrown overboard.â
Taken aback from his sudden behaviour, you apologised, âIâm sorry, I just thought that after what you said last night, youâd want to talk more.â
âWell I donât. Thereâs nothing to talk about.â It hurt, having him speak to you like that, and not knowing why. It was like two different people were speaking to you from last night and now, he was so cold to you in the space of a couple hours, you wondered what happened for him to act like this.
âJack. Whatâs wrong?â You contemplated reaching out to touch him, but thought against it, as you knew he would only pull away.
âThen why are you acting like this? I thought you wanted something between us.â
âYou thought wrong. Did you really believe that Iâd genuinely meant what I said? Iâm a pirate, love,â He chuckled, âYou were naive to think Iâd have feelings for you, or anyone for that matter.â
âSo I was just something to warm your bed for the night? You planned out a whole confession, just for that?â You breathed in disbelief.
âWell, I knew I wasnât gonna get you trying to seduce you normally. A man does get desperate, darling.â As he said that, he heard you choke back a sob, and you pushed past him, leaving him alone to his thoughts again.
As soon as you left, his face instantly dropped, it killed him to do this, he hated himself, but he repeated it in his head, it was for your own good.
Jack didnât see you after that, maybe it was because you had hidden yourself away, or because he didnât bother looking for you.
It hurt him too, having to avoid you. All he wanted to do was hold you close, tell you how sorry he was, and how much he loved you over and over again.
It wasnât long after, they had reached Tortuga. It was then, when he finally saw you. Eyes downcast, as you practically dragged yourself off of the ship. His eyes were locked on you, and he saw how upset and drained you looked. Before he knew what was happening, he found himself walking towards you, â(y/n) I-â but the words died off, when you swerved past him, and continued walking.
Majority of the crew always went to the tavern before anything else, for a drink, or to spoil themselves with a nice, filling meal. You sat far from Jack, but not out of his sight, he made sure to keep his eye on you, to ensure that no men would attempt to harass you.
He was so trained on watching you, he had no grasp of anything that was happening, he didnât know how or why it happened, but once again, there was an uproar of chaos, in the building. This was a regular occurrence, sounds gunshots ringing through the air, smashing of glass, and yells of pirates getting into a scrap over the smallest of things.
Jack had turned to look back at the spot you were in, but you werenât there. He got up and started moving through the sea of people, hoping to find you, and quickly.
You stood near the back of the room, watching as everything escalated, the spot you were in before wasnât the best, you were very prone to getting caught in the crossfire, and you werenât in the mood for that.
Staring off into the crowd, you began to get lost in your thoughts, wondering what you would do now, because of how things were between you and Jack. You couldnât face him after what he did, and didnât know if you were even going to leave with the crew. But if you didnât, then where would you go? You didnât want to be bound to land, and it would be difficult to find a new crew to be a part of.
You were so deep into your mind, that you never noticed a bottle being hurled at you, and you thanked whatever god was above for someone having such terrible drunken aim, after hearing it shatter next to your head.
Two men had gotten into a row right infront of you, and one of them had pulled their gun out and aimed it at the otherâs face, you didnât expect him to actually shoot, but he did. The bullet never hit the man he was fighting. In fact, the gun was aimed in your direction, due to it being forcefully pushed away from someone who was about to get their head blown off.
All of a sudden, your clothes began to feel damp, as if they were being soaked with something hot. You slowly turned you head to your side, and saw that your sleeve was now a deep crimson colour. Frozen with shock, you didnât know what to do, when you saw a figure speed past you and pinning someone against the wall, and yelling words you couldnât understand.
âWhat the Hell?â You muttered under your breath, âJack?â
He turned to you, â(y/n).â
âWhat are you doing?!â
âWhat do you mean what am I doing?! He just bloody shot you!â
âHe didnât do it deliberately! And I donât need you sticking up for me! Iâm quite capable of taking care of myself!â
For a third time, you pushed him out of the way and left. But this time, he wasnât going to let you go. And he stood there for a while, still, thinking about whether he should chase after you or not.
Coming to the end of his internal argument, he began to run after you, occasionally slamming into someone, until his eyes locked onto you, leaning up against a wall, with visible pain etched on your face.
Your head was facing up, looking at the sky, trying to get your mind off of the excruciating pain coming from your shoulder.
â(y/n)..â Not him, not now.
âOh God, please leave me alone.â You croaked out. As you slid down the wall, to sit on the floor, Jack kneeled next to you, with concern written all over his face.
Reaching to untie a cloth that was wrapped around him, he offered, âLet me-â
âGo away.. I donât need your helpâŠâ You refused, weakly attempting to push him away.
âWell youâre gonna get it, if you want it or not, savy?â He smirked, showing off his gold teeth.
You let out a sigh of defeat, as he cut a piece of the fabric off, and winced in pain when he tightly bound it around your wound.
âThank you, now please leave.â
âWhat if I donât want to?â He leaned in, âWhat if I never want to leave you?â He whispered, running his knuckles down your cheek, while longingly gazing at you.
At that, you let out a laugh of disbelief, âLying isnât going to work for a second time, Sparrow, especially after admitting to it, not too long ago.â
He frowned and furrowed his brows, âYou were a fool to believe anything I said that day.â
âOh? So what am I supposed to believe then? That youâre in love with me? Is that it? After you berated me, and told me that you basically used me?â
âItâs not like that.â
âThen what is it like then? Please do tell.â
He sighed, âYou know I didnât mean it, (y/n). I know you do.â
âHow am I supposed to know Jack? Youâre so⊠unpredictable, I donât know what youâre going to do next, so please forgive me, when I canât tell that youâre lying.â
âBut I wouldnât lie about that, if I genuinely did want to only sleep with you, I wouldnât have done all of that.â He closed his eyes for a short amount of time, and then opened them to look at you, âI said those things to you that day, because I was scared.â Staring at him, you noticed his whole demeanour shifted, he was nervous. âIâm terrified of losing you. If you- If people know that weâre together, that also puts a target on your head, and if anything happens to you, thatâs something I take responsibility for. You understand that, donât you?â You swallowed, nodding. âAnd I thought that the best thing for you was to keep you away from me. But I realised that I was wrong, I canât stand having you away, when I know you feel the same as me. Youâre all I want in this life (y/n). So, please, let me fix this, give me another chance.â
âOh JackâŠâ You muttered, cupping his face, and pulling him in for another soft kiss, letting him express his love for you.
When you pulled away, you asked, rather timidly, âCan we.. go back to the ship? Iâm quite tired and havenât had a good sleep sinceâŠâ
He gave you his signature smirk, âOf course we can, sweetheart.â
Both of you had slipped underneath the covers, with your arms wrapped around each other. Jack had almost fell asleep, until he heard you whisper his name.
âIf I find out that youâre lying to me again, I hope you know Iâll sell your soul to Davy Jones.â
âI can assure you, darling, that there was no lying today. Maybe there will be some in the near future, but, itâs nothing that could hurt us.â He said, and pressed his lips to your head, as you both fell into a blissful sleep.
