mostly incorrect quotes

Danny • 20 • he/him

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: big dick so irritating. Why are you in my lung

John: tight pussy kind of annoying. Release me

Yelena: can you guys shut the fuck up

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: I'm not looking for trouble

Yelena: what a horrible way to live

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: Yelena, it's three o'clock in the morning, why on earth are you making chocolate pudding?

Yelena: because I've lost control of my life

[johnwalkerwaow]

John: must be hard not being able to laugh

Yelena: I do have a sense of humor, you know

John: I've never heard you laugh before

Yelena: I've never heard you say anything funny

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: the thing about John is that you'll be laughing and he'll be laughing with you, then all of a sudden he'll stop and say "why are you laughing?"

[johnwalkerwaow]

Alexei: at least wear the matching t-shirts I made with personalized catchphrases for everybody

Yelena: I don't have a catchphrase

Alexei: *throws her a t-shirt that has "I don't have a catchphrase" printed on it*

Yelena: holy shit

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: mansplaining is-

John: mansplaining is when a man explains something to a woman that she already knows but he acts like he's teaching her. Does that make sense to you?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: are you high?

Bob: am I what?

Yelena: high

Bob: hello

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bucky: man, I hope nobody kidnaps my friend John who lives at 822 58th street, apartment 2 on the 4th floor, he always keeps the door unlocked, you can't miss it

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: alright listen up you SHITS

Yelena: not you, Bob

[johnwalkerwaow]

John: are you worried?

Bob: about what? But yeah

[johnwalkerwaow]

Val: so you lied to me?

Yelena: that depends on how you define lying

Val: well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?

Yelena: reclining your body in a horizontal position

[johnwalkerwaow]

Ava: I just wish you would admit when you’ve made a mistake

John, stirring his coffee: I actually prefer it with salt

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: planning to kill myself... if anybody wants my TV or house plants, just reach out. Also there's a pretty sweet Mav Glass bong. I'd say reach out by dawn

Yelena: are you okay, Bob? Reach out if you need help

John: what size TV?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Cop: do you know why I pulled you over?

Bucky: depends how long you've been following me

[johnwalkerwaow]

Bob: has anyone tried making edibles without weed? Like, virgin edibles or something?

John: ...you mean fucking food?

[johnwalkerwaow]

Yelena: my therapist keeps asking about my sister. Like girl why do you care so much? Did you have a crush on her?