Assertive Communication š£
When communicating keep in mind your experiences, such as, feelings, thoughts, & behaviors might be differ from others.
Thoughts and emotions if not handled properly can get in the way off effective communication.
Itās easy to misunderstand what the other person is communicating. We tend to react to what we think they are saying.
Overview: those who communicate passively tend to be submissive and compliant. They donāt expresse their feelings or thoughts.
Consequences: give into others and donāt get what they want.
Overview: person will be demanding and hostile. They come of rude and insensitive. At times they can use intimidation to get what they want.
Consequences: upset others and becomes angry and resentful. People will distance themselves.
Overview: this type of person will say what others want to hear to evade conflicts, but at the same time they will feel anger and resentment.
Consequences: creates future problems for not following through what was established during communication.
Overview: here the person will make others feel guilty to obtain what they want. Other times the communicator will play the victim as well.
Consequences: upsets other people and loses their trust and respect.
Overview: this type of person has healthy communication. They express their needs and emotions in a direct, respectful and honest manner. They actively listen to others and take responsibility for what they say.
Consequences: good relationships and effective communication.
Tips on Assertive Communication
Be specific when speaking.
Decribe what you heard and observed instead of judging.
Politely ask the other person what they understood. This helps prevent future misunderstandings.
Provide positive feedback.
State your limits and boundaries in the beginning.
Saying ānoā does not make you a bad person. There are ways of saying it respectfully, for example:
Iām sorry, but I canāt take on anything else at the moment.
Iām busy, maybe some other time.
I would love to, but I have too much on my plate right now.
At this very moment I canāt, but let me point you to the person who might be able to help.
Keep in mind these responses are enough. You do not need to further explain anything.
These type of statements help communicate your thoughts and feelings without verbally attacking or acusong the other person. When we are upset we communicate defensively. For example:
Wrong: You canāt continue arriving late! Youāre not considerate and completely disrespectful!
Correct: I become worried when you are late. I feel Iike you arenāt considering how I am feeling. How can we arrive to an agreement?
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