Alex doesn’t think he’s ever felt this jittery in his life. He’s not sure he’s ever felt jittery before.
“Alex! I’m home!” He hears Jo’s voice, and his racing pulse slows just a beat. It’s a calming sensation, even just hearing her lilt echo through their home.
“Hey,” Jo smiles, brushing past him, towards the wardrobe. She pulls it open too roughly, immediately stuffing her head in it, clearly searching for something.
“How was your day?” She calls out, and Alex stands up from his place on the couch, moving to take a seat at the table.
“Crappy. One of my peds attendings lost a patient. I mean mine made it- but it was still a crappy day. It’s always crap when it’s a kid.”
Jo turns around, soberly triumphant with her slippers in hand.
“Wow,” she takes the seat next to him, “my crap day totally doesn’t compare,” she pauses to squeeze his knee, “I lost my patient. Not even in surgery; he had a stroke. I don’t- I don’t-“ she breaks off.
Alex looks at her worriedly, “Jo?” Jo’s head snaps up, and she catches his eyes.
“Sorry- I- sorry,” she shakes her head. “It’s been a crappy day.” Alex frowns, leaning his forehead against his wife’s.
“This is not what I planned for this evening,” Alex mumbles. Jo chuckles, pulling back her head, and wrapping her arms around Alex’s neck.
“What did you have planned? Pizza? A hot date? Pizza with a hot date?”
Alex grins, “My wife is pretty hot.” Jo places a long kiss on his lips.
“Really, what was it you wanted to do tonight?”
Alex gets that jittery feeling again, and Jo gives him an odd look.
“Let’s do it. Let’s have a baby. Soon, now.”
“Alex, what?” Jo smiles brightly, “Where is this coming from?”
“Well you and I have always wanted kids. I’ve been chief for months now, and construction at Pac North is done. You’re doing better. Good.
And you’re not on antidepressants anymore. And my mom is doing good. And- look, Jo: we have nothing to worry about. This is the time. It’s right. I want this,” Alex grabs both of Jo’s hands.
“Alex,” Jo softens, “you don’t have to convince me. I want this too. And you’re right, it is the right time. But you’re sure you’re ready? I mean, do you think I’m ready?”
“Is this about your crap? Because that won’t make you a bad mom. I think you’ll be the best freaking mom there is. You’re excellent at everything you do, and this will not be the exception. Do you think you’re ready?”
Jo falters, looking away, “I- I don’t know. I want to be. I want this so badly, to have kids with you. I want it for you too. And I know how badly you want it. Can that want, can that desire be enough?”
Alex grins, “Yes. God, Jo. You will always be more than enough. And I’m ready. Really ready.”
Jo smiles softly, “Okay.” Alex presses his lips to her own.
“Jo, Jo,” he pulls away from their kiss and looks at his wife, “we should probably make it to the bed if we want to practice.”
“You said I’m excellent at everything. So maybe we won’t need practice. But then again, I want it,” Jo wraps her arms around his neck, as they haphazardly make their way across the apartment, kissing all the way to the the bed.
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