I have finally become familiar with the works of C.S. Lewis. I know, I know, how can I, a person so in love with reading the written word not yet been captivated by this manâs abilities. I have no excuse. But as I said, that is now rectified.
Lewis has ignited in me a better understanding of Affection, Friendship, Eros, and Charity in his philosophical book; âThe Four Loves.â I truly do love love. I love to read about love, watch it play out on my television screen, to have it take place in my own life, to see it in others. And now I have been working on making sure my idea of love and my âphilosophyâ, so to speak, on love aligns with the greatest Love of all.
Through many heartbreaking scenarios as of late, I have come to the realization and breaking point that my idea of love has forever been misplaced and inherently wrong. I have put far too great a trust and security on the promises that love is not able to keep. I trusted that so long as I was submissive to the leadings of love, wherever it may take me, that I would not be hurt by it. And if I was somehow hurt by it, I was still willing to follow and do whatever it asked because I sought it to fulfill me. I thought it could even sustain me. It could never do such a thing though because for me, love was my idol. Giving love and receiving love was my god. I didnât know this though until, like all false gods, it turned on me. It became a demon, desiring nothing more than to steal, kill, and destroy. And it did, in more ways than I can even conceive.
Returning to the point, in Lewisâ book he shares innumerable insights into all the different aspects of love and how it plays out in our different relationships. I now intend to share some of those ponderings (at least my favorites) with youâŠ
Speaking of the idolatry of love:
// We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. Then they become gods: then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred.
Debunking the idea that people are âmade for each otherâ:
// You chose those books. You chose those friends. Of course they suit you. Made for us? Thank God, no. They are themselves, odder than you could have believed and worth far more than we guessed.
The end-all-be-all explanation of guy/girl friendships:
// When two people who thus discover that they are on the same secret road are of different sexes, the friendship which once arises between them will very easily pass, may pass in the first half hour, into erotic love. Indeed, unless they are physically repulsive to each other or unless one or both already loves elsewhere, it is almost certain to do so sooner or later.
Stating the beauty of Godâs sovereignty in our friendships:
// But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples âYe have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,â can truly say to every group of Christian friends âYou have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.â
On husbands loving their wives like Christ:
// This headship, then, is most fully embodied not in the husband we should all wish to be but in him whose marriage is most like a crucifixion; whose wife receives most and gives least, is most unworthy of him, is in her own nature, least lovable. For the Church has no beauty but what the Bride-groom gives her; he does not find, but makes her, lovely. The chrism of the terrible coronation is to be seen not in the joys of any manâs marriage but in itâs sorrows, in the sickness and sufferings of a good wife or the faults of a bad one, in his unwearying care or his inexhaustible forgiveness.
Evidence of being deceived by the idolatry of love:
// When lovers say of some act that we might blame, âLove made us do it,â notice the tone. The confession can be almost a boast. There can be a shade of defiance in it. They âfeel like martyrs.â In extreme cases what their words really express is a demure yet unshakable allegiance to the god of love.
On how to maintain godly love in your marriage:
// We must do the works of Eros when Eros is not present. And all good Christian lovers know that this program, modest as it sounds, will not be carried out except by humility, charity and divine grace.
Our lives, an offering:
// But since it is only too obvious that we can withhold ourselves, our wills and hearts, from God, we can, in that sense, also give them. What is His by right and would not exist for a moment if it ceased to be His, He had nevertheless made ours in such a way we can freely offer it back to Him.
On surrender:
// If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.
To say the least, I loved his interpretation of the loves. These quotes arenât even the tip of the iceberg of all the beautifully strung together sentences in this book. You must read it for yourself and see, as Lewis states in his final chapter, âif anything in it is useful to you, use it; if anything is not, never give it a second thought.â Ultimately, if it is biblical truth, embrace it, understand it, and walk it out.
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