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@jonghoon-tas-blog
I need to stop getting my hopes up about recovery and thinking that going in to treatment will magically cure me because I know it doesn’t work like that and I will only be disappointed.
{ midnight snack - hongki and jonghun
Considering the fact Jonghun’s mutism was the defining characteristic that drew Hongki to him upon first meeting, it remained something that interested him. So, he felt a sense of pride when they’re started to gradually grow closer and the boy actually succeeded in speaking to him more, though he never understood how or why he made Jonghun so comfortable. That first day that they interacted, it was very clear that he didn’t like Hongki one bit, but somehow they overcame that initial loathing and avoidance. Smiling faintly as he was replied to verbally, Hongki lowered his gaze to the book he had set aside, fingertips moving along the spine slowly as he regarded the piece of literature with a sense of affection. But, surprisingly, he removed his hand and instead turned to Jonghun with the same gesture a moment later, hesitantly reaching out his opposite arm and lightly brushing his fingers against the boy’s hair, noticing that the other had moved closer as if subtly seeking contact. It was still very new for Hongki, but he was trying his best to get more used to touching and being touched. “I’m the same that I always am,” he replied simply when asked, because his usual mental and emotional state was difficult to put into words, but it hadn’t changed in some time at least. He was just relieved Jonghun had settled down from his anxiety attack.
Jonghun wasn't entirely sure why he was comfortable with how close Hongki and he had gotten in such a short period of time. Considering their initial interaction, one would think both patients would never speak to one another ever again. Eventually after certain events the hostility and hatred had faded and they began experimenting with each other. Whether it be a simple touch, or for Jonghun managing to speak was something big. He was like a newborn -- finally uttering a single word after months and months of gibberish and or silence. He scooted closer to the other boy, craving the touch that was so foreign to him. Jonghun's eyes flickered close when Hongki reached out to touch his hair, carding his smaller fingers through Jonghun's dark, messy locks. A soft hum escaped past his lips in approval, enjoying the gesture more than he thought he would. He hadn't flinched or made any startled sounds as Hongki dragged his fingers down to his arm (though he normally would); barely brushing the pads of his digits along the expanse of his arm. He opened his eyes after a moment, staring into Hongki's orbs as the other spoke. Smiling softly, he reached for his notebook and wrote. "Good. I'm glad you came." He turned the notebook around to show Hongki, hoping the lighter brunette could see with such dim light that cascaded in the isolated room.
I need to reply to stuff.