I'm writing this now because I believe that it's time for me to let go now. I had a very hard time before with this..and I do hope you see this sometime. I'm not sure how to properly word this to you but I'm going to try my best.
To start this off, I wanted to say thank you. Because of you, I truly do know love. I know how it feels, I know how it hurts-- but I'm thankful. Thank you for staying up late to spend time with me, thank you for being with me whenever I needed you, no matter how hard I was to handle. Thank you for caring for me and thank you for loving me. You truly made me so happy and I just hope that whenever you think of me, you can remember me with fondness and you don't regret what we had.
It's been a while.. since the last time we spoke. I didn't want to lose you completely.. but I understand now that it's what has to happen, right? You were always stronger than me in knowing this. I still think of you often and I miss you a thousand times more than that. You were my best friend. I not only lost my husband, but I lost my best friend. I feel as though you have moved on and that is why I need to do the same. Although it's hard for me, I know it's what I have to do and I've been putting it off. There's always going to be that little voice in the back of my head wondering if you're going to come back-- but now it's time for me to shut that voice out and accept it all.
There are a few memories that I often recall when I think of you. I think of my hoodie, Jung-ah, hand kisses, our wedding, Paris, they way you always wound up in my lap, our home, how much you loved your video games and I'm glad that those things pop up in my mind when I think of you. They're all the best ways to remember you.
I do, though, remember some of the harder times and I need to tell you something now that I hope you'll remember. You are so smart. You are so smart and beautiful and strong and I'm so proud of you. Even if you're not proud of yourself, I am beyond proud of you. You have truly accomplished so much and I am your number one fan, always.
I feel like now, it's time for this letter to come to a close. My very last letter to you. I'm not going to be around anymore.. and I will always miss you terribly. You were the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love you so much even now. I think I always will. I am so thankful that I was able to love you and there is something you said that had really stuck with me. "Having the opportunity to love you for a second is better than not getting the chance at all." And that's how I feel too. Loving you and being loved by you was one of the best things I've ever experienced.
So, Kibum-ah. This is it.
I'm letting you go so that you can truly live.
I love you. Today, tomorrow, always.
PS. If you were wondering, Jung-ah is good. I'm going to look after her as always. We'll miss you.
PPS. Don't smoke, arasso? I'm serious. It's bad for you.
dededos
blakekathryn
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
