I wouldn't want to have it any other way
If you could change one thing about your past or yourself, what would it be? Only one thing, but be careful, because if you change just even one small thing about your past or yourself, it may have a massive domino affect on your future and who you are today.
Maybe you would have change how well you did academically in high school, and that then could result in going to a different college, but then that would also result in living with different roommates, joining a different fellowship (or not joining a fellowship). Maybe you would change the way you look, but then maybe you might have different influences or be given different types of attention, you may have had a different group of friends, your current best friend might not be your best friend (or even your friend), you may have never met.
It's an interesting question, because this question reveals one of our greatest, deepest desires, it may reveal one of your greatest, deepest regrets, one of your greatest, deepest discontentments.
But what if you could change something, would you? Would you wish to have done better academically, or how smart you are, or the way you look, or the horrendously shameful sin you committed, or the pain and hurt from that personal circumstance not panning out how you envisioned?
But what if, even after looking at all the difficulties and mistakes of this life, could say that you wouldn't want to have it any other way? What if you could see that our God is a God in the heavens who does all that He pleases? That He is Sovereign over all creation, over every atom on the planet, every bird in the sky, every fish in the ocean, every animal on land, every mountain that is God-made, every building that is man-made, every institution, every grade that you receive on your test, every interaction, every conversation, every birth, every life, every death, every joy, every tear, every marriage, every break-up, every victory, every failure, and every mistake, that He knows all, all at that could have happened if things were different, all the amount of pain, of hurt, and joy not only in His current plan but also every other possibility, that our God knew every way, and could have it any way, but with 100% confidence, joy, and power, with zero-regret and zero-hesitation said before it all happened, "I want it that way and wouldn't want to have it any other way."
And we know that God is sovereign over all, but sometimes there is a disconnect between what our minds know what to be true and what our hearts believe. I want to you to ponder two items that have been immensely helpful to myself this past quarter, which if you wanna ask me more about later in detail, has had some very hard and crazy times.
Have you every really cared about someone? Maybe it may be a sibling, a second grader at VBS, someone that you are disciple-ing, a significant other? And it's crazy, because sometimes, the best way to care for them is to not make them immediately happy. It may be more caring to tell the second grader at VBS to stop goofing around during Bible stories, or rebuking your brother in Christ for his sin, and not being as emotionally and physically intimate with your significant other. And it's the harder thing to do, because who wants to discipline, rebuke, or withhold things from those that they care about, but you know that if you really care about that person, you will do what you know is better for them, even though it may be the harder decision for you, and it may even hurt them. And just as crazy you may think you are for your family, friends, or that special someone, and how much you care for them, God cares for you in a more pure, more intimate, and more intense way than you could ever imagine. And I'm sure that since God is a much full being than us, meaning that His ability to feel emotions is much, more full than our capacity, so it even hurts Him, it really hurts Him, as it hurts us, to withhold something that He wants to give to us in the moment to make us happy, but it's because He cares for us that much that He withholds it from us. A lot of times people will throw around the phrase, "God loves you", and it's so easy to take it so lightly, but no, God really loves you. He's crazy for you, He wants the best for you, He treasures you, and it is precisely that He loves you that He may not make you immediately happy.
Not only has knowing that God loves me been extremely helpful this past year, but also realizing that making less mistakes is not necessarily more glorifying to God. That's a really bold statement, because who doesn't wish they made less mistakes? Who wishes that they didn't fail that test, or that they didn't say those harsh words that can never take back, or never messed up in that relationship, or commit that sin, or even continue struggling with that same sin? So how can I say that making less mistakes is not necessarily more glorifying to God? Just take a look at the example of the Pharisee and the tax collector. Objectively, the Pharisee made less mistakes than the tax collector, the Pharisee had his life more intact, his profession was more prestigious, he was more respected, he followed more of God's commandments, and you look at the Tax Collector, the guy wasted his life, no one respected him, the way he got his money was plainly sinful (theft), he was not influential in any ministry, nor let alone involved in ministry, and he probably indulged himself in a filthy lifestyle of immorality. But there is ONE mistake that at the very moment of Jesus's story that the tax collector did not make that the Pharisee did make. The Pharisee thought that his making of less mistakes was more glorifying to God, the Pharisee thought that because he had made less mistakes in his life than the tax collector, that God was honored. While the tax collector came before God, broken over his sin, aware of his mistakes, realized his unworthiness, not even worthy to look up to God, beat his breasts, and cried out for mercy, recognizing his need for a Savior, Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is the culmination of God's love for us and the bold statement that making less mistakes is not necessarily more glorying to God. In the perfect sovereign plan of God, the birth, life, death, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ is the foundation of God's goodness to us. Jesus Christ is the reason why we can look at all our mistakes, and regrets of the past, and continue problems, and current struggles, and say, yes it's hard, but "I wouldn't want to have it any other way". I wouldn't want to have it any other way because the stripping of all these things that I want is helping me not place my ultimate hope in them, that it is Christ alone that can satisfy. It is Jesus Christ, who takes all my mistakes, dies for them, and in His power makes them submit to us so that we can be more than conquers in Christ through Christ in and through all things. Praise God for the birth of Jesus Christ.
So maybe the next time someone asks you, "How are you doing?", you can say honestly, “Things have been pretty tough, but then, I wouldn't want to have it any other way".