Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Manβs Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage
The fantasy of having a βHotwifeβ is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of βswingingβ and the modern βopen relationshipβ. Β Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship β the woman β going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and βgetting someβ for himself? Β
Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures. Β They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate β this isnβt so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom. Β Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the βbest mateβ or the βmost attractive womanβ. Β With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partnerβs Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow βweakerβ than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner. Β Is this really true, though? Β Could the truth lie somewhere within todayβs manβs loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or βmonogamyβ? Β Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence? Β
Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a βwoman ledβ relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to βcaptureβ the best mate and even when sheβs out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own β a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed β their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. Β While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being βat homeβ, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the βwinβ in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men. Β
As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. Β This is why the desire for βreclaimingβ a Hotwife after a date is so strong β itβs actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. Β So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?
He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It
As women weβve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating β before weβve found our βpersonβ. Β We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessingβ¦why? Β Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there. Β So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldnβt it work once weβre married? In contrast, women typically donβt respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy β we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be βjust not that into usβ. Β Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once weβve committed to them, because we, ourselves donβt want to feel as though weβre in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women. Β Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?
For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered. Β Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. Β It doesnβt take a lot to feed the fantasy. Β Itβs not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, itβs also about the little things β the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the βteaseβ of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much weβre looking forward to doing it again. Β Remember, this ignites the βcompetitionβ element of things, which is natural for men.
The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it
You may be thinking, βBut Iβm doing it for him, Iβm not doing it for myselfβ (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this βother guyβ did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the βother guyβ. Β I know it seems crazy, because we donβt want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their βothersβ were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we donβt. Β Thatβs because we donβt have that βcompetition driveβ like our men do.
Letβs face it, despite what our men tell us β βItβs all about your pleasureβ or βI donβt get anything out of it unless youβre enjoying it, because I love you so muchβ β this isnβt some ultimate βunselfishβ thing our men are doing for us. Β These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is βI want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to meβ. Β Itβs their kink, and we have to understand it. Β
So, if youβve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, youβre going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways. Β Whenever you think βBut Iβm only doing it for himβ, follow that us with βIβm doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed itβ. Β Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge. Β This may require a little bit of embellishment, and thatβs OKAYβ¦trust meβ¦embellishment is your friend in this situation. Β Tell your man about your Bullβs amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc. Β These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire. Β
The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You
Again, youβre playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things hereβ¦ Β The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you. Β His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that heβs ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed. Β I have experienced this firsthand many timesβ¦if I am completely honest about an βencounterβ and admit to βDβ that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didnβt quite βget thereβ, he isnβt nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were. Β I donβt like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truthβ¦maybe your lover wasnβt the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be βhe was amazing with his mouthβ and leave the rest up for interpretation. Β
Weβre women. Β We are strong and capable and we are smart. Β And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be. Β Where do we want to be? Β We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to βcompeteβ they will need to step up their own game in order to βkeepβ us satisfied β be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above. Β
