crown of thorns

Jordan Ulloa. Twenty eight. DJ at OHKRS.

[isabelle-maddox-blog]

It had been a relatively successful day of fishing and Eli was ready to pack it in and go home. All he had to do was collect everything he had caught and put it on the cart to deliver to the market, but of course, as soon as he moved to put the first package in the cart, he bumped it and sent it flying down the dock. Eli let out a long, defeated sigh, “Do you mind pushing that back?” He asked, to the person closest to him

[jordamnit]

There was no foreseeable reason Jordan would be at the docks. Of course, this on principle was reason enough for Jordan to go to the docks- like a cat, Jordan’s favorite places were the ones he shouldn’t or had no reason to be in. Strolling down past the various boats (older fishing boats for the locals and the few shiny, overpriced mini yachts vacationers parked out there when they invaded the island), Jordan was shocked as a package skidded towards his feet. 

As soon as he recognized the source of the voice, Jordan’s expression relaxed. “Flying fish!” he yelled over-dramatically, swooping down to pick it up in one easy motion as he laughed, “You sure these are actually dead, dude?” he asked Eli as he walked over to the other man, “Need some help?” 

[michaelamoretti-deactivated2017]

“With Fourth of July being over I can now get back to my paperwork. Something I really look forward to.”

[jordamnit]

“Was that sarcastic because... I genuinely do not know a single person who has actually ever shared that sentiment,” Jordan laughed, “Why, was your fourth of July that bad?”

[reidknxght-blog]

“Yeah, I said fans.  You heard what I said, Jordan,” Reid said with faux seriousness in his tone.  “Fine, if you don’t have fans, man, I’ll be your fan.  By default, I’m your biggest fan.”

“Don’t hype it up too much.  I mean, what if I do horribly?” Reid shook his head.  He frowned, “It has happened.  I can promise you that it has happened.”

[jordamnit]

“You’re my fan?” A genuinely excited expression crossed Jordan’s face, “Well, damn. In that case, I wish I had more fans if they all end up cooking for me. Nah, I’m kidding, but uh. Yeah... thanks, man. That means a lot.”

“You’re not gonna do horrible. When have you ever?” Jordan asked seriously, “Well, you haven’t ever when I’ve eaten your food. Maybe I’m your good luck charm. Your food luck charm. Your meals are destined to be good if I’m here. Aren’t you so lucky? I think I should just show up all the time.”

[samantha--king-blog]

With a shrug, Sam gave a small nod. “You’re not far from the truth there, if we are being honest. It’s just like the pin jugglers you see on the street, throwing them up and spinning them in the air, you know? I’m still figuring a few things out.”

[jordamnit]

“... Okay, I need to see this. Like I refuse to believe that’s a real thing till I see it in person,” Jordan said incredulously. 

[rebeccatucker-blog]

“Hey dude I ain’t gonna judge on you and your uh…love cannon.” She furrowed her eyebrows and then leant on the front of the car, smiling sweetly at him as he moved closer. “I never said it was someone who just popped by. Workers got needs y’know…” She teased.

[jordamnit]

“Uh, thanks? That’s reassuring. I think,” Jordan snickered. “That’s... what? Isn’t that unprofessional, or something? Oh man, is that why so many mechanics carry rags around with them?”

[rhiansantiago-deactivated201611]

“You’re weird, I like that. At least I won’t feel awful if I embarrass myself in front of you or something. Oooh, I’d like that. Is there somewhere here that serves waffles other than breakfast cause that would be cool.”

[jordamnit]

“I’m glad you do,” Jordan laughed, “You probably won’t. If anything, I’m probably going to be the embarrassing one.” Jordan considered the various food options in Oakhaven. “I mean, we could probably find one. Or, worst case scenario, we can get a waffle iron and make them ourselves. It can’t be too hard, can it?”

[reidknxght-blog]

“You’re right.  I doubt people will want to know if you’re regular or not while they drive or whatever they ‘re doing,” Reid had to agree.  Although, you never with people, honestly.  “But I think a lot of your fans just like hearing you talk about the things that happen in your life.  They like connecting to you.”

There were many perks about moving to Oakhaven but one of Reid’s favorite perks was all the fresh meat, fish and produce he could get his hands on.  It was never a secret that Reid liked to cook and liked to eat, but getting to share that with others was always the best thing.  There was a sort of pride when people look forward to what he would cook.  “Honestly,” Reid started, “It’s a surprise because I haven’t even decided it yet.  I was thinking seafood, but I’m not sure yet.”

[jordamnit]

“Yeah, I guess they- wait, did you say ‘fans’?,” Jordan laughed incredulously, “I think that’s... that’s a little too strong of a statement. Listeners, maybe, bt I definitely don’t have fans.”

“Whatever the surprise is,” Jordan replied, “I’m gonna be surprised. No, just kidding. I bet it’ll be good. And delicious. I’m excited to eat it.” 

[jordamnit]

"Okay, I normally don’t ask random people this since I don’t care, but,” Jordan paused, looking down for a moment, “is this tie ugly? Some guy at a bar told me I had an ugly shirt, and I’ve been second guessing my fashion choices ever since.”

[jordamnit]

What Turns Up Must Turn Down | Jordan, Rhian

[rhiansantiago-deactivated201611]

It’s been a few days since she arrived in Oakhaven and so far she was liking her stay. The small town feel wasn’t so different from back home, although she did live in the city rather than town but still, it wasn’t so different. It made her feel less homesick than she anticipated. For the first time in her life she was far away from her mom and family that she honestly cried during the plane ride there and almost asked the attendant if they could turn around. Luckily, she was too shy to actually speak out loud the entire trip that she didn’t actually made a fool out of herself by demanding to turn the plane around.

It was also a good thing that she made new friends quickly around Oakhaven, though she missed her friends back home, she is quickly making friends in her new home. One of them is Jordan, who is now probably waiting for her in the place called Sure Shot Tavern. She got ready quite early and it was a good thing too because for the second time that week, she got lost. Rhian had to ask a couple where the tavern was and was pointed to the right direction.

Once she got to the tavern, it was fairly quick to spot her new friend. After all, he is a skyscraper in her opinion. The tavern wasn’t packed but she knew in it would be once their regulars started pouring in. Its atmosphere was very different from the bars she had been in back home, but then again most bars back home weren’t exactly bars and were more like clubs or seedy places one can get drunk in. 

Once she neared him, she heard him talking to herself. “Were you really just planning to get me drunk?” She teased as she took a seat next to him. “What should I drink first then?” She asked him, seeing the bartender approach them.

[jordamnit]

Drinking with someone for the first time was always such uncharted territory. You could tell a lot about a person based on their barroom preferences, anywhere from their drink of choice, to where they liked to sit in the bar, and obviously, to about the kinds of topics they decided to talk about. So in a way, going out for drinks with Rhian for the first time wasn’t just a simple hang out- Jordan was actually going to get some pretty insightful and telling information about what kind of person she was.

It didn’t take long before Rhian made her way over to the bar. Jordan nodded at her with a smile, giving a slight wave, “Sorry i started without you,” he said, more out of courtesy than actual guilt. 

Jordan laughed at Rhian’s accusation, a faux innocent look on his face, “I’m not going to make you do anything, Rhian. But if you wanna get smashed, by all means...”

Taking a sip of his beer, Jordan saw the bartender approach them in his peripheral. With the small number of patrons at Sure Shot, he was expecting the service to be good, and the bartenders even hungrier for the limited amount of tips. He considered Rhian’s question.

“What do you usually get? Or what do you like?” Jordan didn’t like to assume people’s drink orders, mostly because people tended to surprise you. 

[reidknxght-blog]

Reid laughed.  Though he was never one to relish someone’s misfortune, he couldn’t hold back his laughter.  Jordan had a very unique way saying things in a way that Reid thought was hilarious - this was one of the many reasons Reid always enjoyed listening to Jordan’s block on the radio.  “Aw, man,” Reid had a false sense of apology about his words.  He couldn’t hide his entertainment, “That’s …you should share that on air.  It’s pretty funny.”

Reid had quickly gained a reputation for his cooking.  Not that he minded, but now he had to match up to the talk of it;  he blamed himself for constantly inviting people over.  Then again, he never minded sharing food with those he enjoyed spending time with and Jordan was definitely one of those people.  “Alright,” he agreed, “You can bring something then.  I mean, why not?  And you don’t even have to go and beg.”

[jordamnit]

Sometimes, talking to people with no real answer was an entirely different experience than having a conversation in person, so, getting immediate feedback was nice. Jordan felt himself glow with happiness as Reid laughed, laughing softly himself. “I don’t know if all of Oakhaven wants to hear about my bowel movements,” he smiled, shaking his head, “but I’m glad you though it was funny.”

Jordan grinned, not bothering to hide the excitement in his face, “Okay, I won’t disappoint. Dinner it is.” Dinner with Reid wasn’t just exciting because of the food- though, that definitely was a plus. Dinner alone was not Jordan’s favorite thing, but more often than not, he found himself having meals alone. He had told himself that once he arrived at Oakhaven, that was going to change- he was going to have some semblance of a family, or at least, people he could rely on. Having someone to eat dinner with was nice, and Reid was definitely someone Jordan didn’t mind spending lots of time with. “Do I get to know what you’re making, or is it a surprise?” 

[rhiansantiago-deactivated201611]

“So you want me to turn into waffles?” she chuckled, “You’re a very weird skyscraper.”

[jordamnit]

“I didn’t say that,” Jordan laughed, shaking his head, “I just... okay, I guess that came out weird. And I am weird. As much as I like waffles, though, I prefer if you just ate them with me instead of becoming one.”

[oh-p-p-peggy-blog]

“Okay so get this, some guy comes wandering into Wake & Grind this morning and orders six, SIX, shots of espresso. Now I’m supposed to be like, ‘Oh sir maybe you should stop blah blah blah.” I mean, obviously I care about the customer right? But then! This asshole throws a piece of chewing gum into my tip jar….what the hell?!”

[jordamnit]

“See, I was gonna say, I relate to that guy, because six shots of espresso is something I definitely have ordered before. But I cross the line at gum in the tip jar. I mean, I at least put new sticks of gum in there,” Jordan smiled, his tone obviously joking, “But, seriously. That sucks. Did you spit in his coffee, at least?”

[rhiansantiago-deactivated201611]

“Good thing I like the color green, I wouldn’t mind turning into She-Hulk. It’s better than turning orange, I might have to join the Oompa Loompas. Thank you for not wanting me to become a pancake. Glad to know someone cares.”

[jordamnit]

“Green is definitely a better color than orange,” Jordan agreed, before smiling, “Maybe I’m biased. I just don’t want you to turn into a pancake because, honestly? I like waffles better,” he said with a playful smirk.

[samantha--king-blog]

Sam laughed. “Honest. Let’s go with honest.” She set aside her water bottle and crossed her arms. “I’ll let you off, on account of that being pretty good for my ego. Now, as for entertainment, I’ve been told I’m the world’s leading wrench juggler.”

[jordamnit]

Many things were happening at once, so it took Jordan a second to process the mechanic’s words. “Wrench... juggler. That sounds like a nice euphemism for ‘concussion enthusiast’,” Jordan observed. “How exactly does one juggle wrenches?”

[rjberkshire-deactivated20180531]

“What? We are anything but.”

[jordamnit]

“That just shows how much better at it you are than I am,” Jordan laughed.

[minioconnor]

“I can see that. In fact, so pitiful that if you keep this up, soon it’ll be you that Sarah McLachlan uses in one of her videos to get people to donate to whatever cause she’s preaching about. I’ll have pictures of your sad eyes while In The Eyes of an Angel plays softly in the background.”

Mini waited until he had stepped outside, following after him and closing the door behind her, making sure to give the handle a couple of tugs to double check it was safely locked now. “Hey, as I said earlier, I’m not going to be the one to help you discover your prostate. If you want to tickle your asshole that’s going to be something that you do all on your own, on your own time.” Her tone was kept steady, a dulcet pitch despite the crudeness of her words. She stopped to put the keys into the back pocket of her jeans and began to walk down the streets, no direction in mind as of yet. “Okay, deal, but if I decide then it’s going to be your treat.”

[jordamnit]

Jordan couldn’t help but laugh, due in part to the mental image, but also because he was vaguely aware of the time he was asked to be in one of those “Help the Children” type infomercial videos when he was twelve. He didn’t remember if the footage was still out there, but he did know he got McDonald’s and a Hershey chocolate bar out of it. “I’ve got my visine ready,” he laughed good naturedly, “I’ve been looking at videos of dogs getting reunited with their deployed owners all day. I was born ready for this.”

Hands in his pockets, Jordan listened to the girl’s words as he kicked absentmindedly at nothing on the pavement outside of the store. “Fair enough,” he smiled, refreshed by her forwardness, “I can live with that.” Jordan looked up just as she began to walk away. “That was kind of my plan,” Jordan shrugged, “And hey, not important or anything, but did you want my name at all? Or is a stranger buying you food more thrilling?” An amused expression on his face, the man continued, “Or, how about this- you can pick a name for me. It can be anything, just nothing like ‘Fuckface’ or ‘Pepperoni Nipples” because that will really hurt my feelings, like, a lot.”  

[vernaculare-a]

“It’s what I would do, you know if I ever killed someone.” Josephine leaned back in her seat, lifting her leg to rest her heel on the edge of it. “Weight the body, drop it in the ocean at night so no one sees you. The sharks will take care of it before morning. I might wrap some meat around it to make sure it’s extra appealing.” She rested her arm on her knee as she observed the couple outside, laughing as both of them wildly shook their hands while arguing. “There’s a lot of places in this town that someone could hide a body.”

[jordamnit]

It wasn’t every day that one entered a coffee shop to have a thorough conversation on how to dispose of a body, but Jordan was personally entertained by the exchange. He gave his neighbor a quick glance, debating if she had the capacity to actually kill someone, before he answered. “Do we actually have that many sharks in Oakhaven?” Jordan mused, “Plus that implies a shark could eat an entire person clean, which isn’t realistic. All you need is one little pinky toe ending up on the beach and you’re royally screwed,” Jordan observed. He turned his attention to the couple again to pause on their slightly-grisly topic. “Do you think someone’s gonna call the cops if they keep on yelling?”