hello to anyone coming here from twitter! this account has traditionally been even more shitposty than twitter was but who knows, maybe i'll bring some of the twitter energy back over here.
love, roaratorio
almost home
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@francescadarimini
hello to anyone coming here from twitter! this account has traditionally been even more shitposty than twitter was but who knows, maybe i'll bring some of the twitter energy back over here.
love, roaratorio
Ahsoka: Let’s not Anakin Skywalker this into a worse situation than it already is, alright? Anakin: Did you just use my name as a verb??
funniest possible singular sentence in the english language has already been conceived n it's the first line of the tardis wiki article on "sex"
the past tense implying sex has since been eradicated. the six (6) different synonyms all with 1-3 linked sources. those extensive citations juxtaposed with the extremely vague given definition of "an action performed by two or more people" . it's so fucking good. I could never put together a sentence this funny even if you gave me a full paid year off 2 do it
Kate O'Flynn & Matthew Rhys
“The Inaugural Swim” | Widow’s Bay 1x03
The mortifying ordeal of being a Star Wars fan: Not only do you have to admit that you’re a Star Wars fan, you have to know things about Star Wars. Nerdy bullshit things about Star Wars. And you have to submit to the horrific misery of wanting to tell other people about the Star Wars things you know. Not only are you burdened with knowledge about Star Wars, you have to drag around the heavy weight of wanting to talk to other people about Star Wars. It’s soul-crushing.
#hang on i gotta find a jake gyllenhaal blog to ask about this (sorry @etriva this was too funny to leave in the tags)
I’m not entirely sure who River Cartwright is but from your tags it seems like he has a lot going on
lmao he certainly does
my former roommates in a crumbling marriage were told by their couple’s therapist that they needed to get a shared hobby, any shared hobby, literally any hobby, so they decided it should be watching mr beast. vivid memories of coming home to seeing them sitting five feet apart on the sofa, watching mr beast with completely blank expressions and occasionally making slightly strained comments
I gasped out loud at this????
I were the therapist I'd be like no....... maybe not like that........
Under the right circumstances a couples therapist could make more money with a divorce than he could with a saved marriage...
the worst thing about writing or any kind of craft is having an idea you're really excited to make a reality but then you sit down and realize how much work it's going to take to get to that point and suddenly you feel like those two little gay guys in the mountain in the lord of the rings
do you remember how good it was in our head mr frodo
In folk music men are always dying in industrial accidents and women are always haunting stuff. What if a woman dies in an industrial accident and a man walks these hills in a long black veil. What then
the crazy thing about doctor who is that it really is the best show ever for 30 seconds at a time. you never know when those 30 seconds will be. sometimes they happen multiple times in a single episode and sometimes you wait years and years and years. and the best part is those 30 seconds are surrounded by the worst show ever, which is also doctor who
dearly departed fung wah bus may she rest in POWER 🫡 obsessed with ayo's go-to bit in her last press cycle being the great molasses flood and this time around it's the fung wah bus. real bostonian representation 🙂↕️
now you gotta pay like $35 for a bus to new york and it STILL will probably break down and leave you stranded at an ihop in connecticut :(
imagine this 💭: open your eyes 🫵 CLOSE 'EM 🙂↕️ now open your MENTAL EYE 👁️ right? you are in a BUS DEPOT 🚏🚌 in the DEPTHS of boston chinatown 🏮🌆 you get the opportunity to take a $10-15 💸 bus that will take you to new york 🗽 in UNDER four hours ⏱️ sometimes THREE 🏃💨 it's like the concorde of buses ✈️ this thing's going a hundred miles— BIG bus, too🫸↔️🫷not a small bus 🤏 BIG ol' bus 🙌💪 HUNDRED miles an hour 💯 on the speedway 🛣️ sometimes? catching fire 🔥🧯 don't sit in the back 👈 don't sit in the front 👉 you will hit things 🧳⚠️ and things will hit you 🤕🔨 the bus? might explode 💥💥💥 THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ✋ your business is GETTING TO NEW YORK 🫡 and then you do :)
im a BIG fan in general of when national flags have animals on them. in terms of patriotic symbols i don't think you can go far wrong with 'here's a cool animal that lives here'.
if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people
he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women
If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."
Having a "stupider people have done this" attitude about the things you want to do can open so many doors
Angel on my left shoulder telling me to do good. Devil on my right shoulder telling me to do bad. Rat on my head teaching me how to cook