You Know I'm No Good

[bitchellsmith]

Mitchell was an extremely tactile person, almost certain to score "physical affection" as his number one love language and always being a little too touchy feely for his own good sometimes. It was to the annoyance or liking of many people in his life, all depending on who was asked about it. With all that considered, the fact that he stood frozen in place when Jordan hugged him spoke volumes. It was like freeze tag, but in this case, there were only losers, and he was the biggest one. His eyes fluttered shut as he hoped the pavement under his feet would swallow him whole. He couldn't think of any time he'd not want to be near Jordan until now. This was a first and probably an all time low in that department. He'd rather be at the bottom of the ocean or stuck in Hunter's room while getting a spray bottle bath, anywhere but where he currently was. Just when he had the thought, or perhaps hoped, that one of his siblings would rescue him, it seemed to be manifested at the right time.

The door creaked open, Jeremiah looking like he was about to head out for an evening jog around the neighborhood when he spotted the two of them on the gravel just before the front stairs and caught wind of what was going on, or at least what both of their expressions told him. Although Jordan's was harder to read than Mitch's, there was a tense energy, and the porch light only illuminated the tear streaks on Mitchell's face. "Oh," Jeremiah exhaled, his grip now tensing around the doorknob as he froze in place. "I was, um, going to go...you know what, actually? Nah. Never mind. I'll, uh, just be in...over here, if you need anything., Okay, Mitch?" With a quick nod, instead of turning around, he walked himself backwards and shut the door along with each step into the house.

Although he was thankful for the momentary distraction, it didn't help the hurt. In fact, Mitchell thought that it may had gotten worse the longer he stood there and would only continue to do so. "Yeah, okay," he sighed, not sure he believed anything she was telling him beyond the wanting to break up part. There was no proper headspace to be able to get into when the love of your life decided that she wasn't that anymore. "You can go, Jordan," he muttered, afraid that if he actually spoke with enough diction or volume that it'd amplify the way his heart broke with each word. He couldn't even meet her eyes as they came out. "And I won't try and stop you, so you don't have to worry there."

[jordanxjoplin]

Jordan couldn't remember a time where she had touched Mitch and he hadn't responded to it immediately, and as shitty as he felt that this was exactly what he was doing now, she got it. There was no way to avoid the fact she'd basically stomped on his heart here, and it would take a complete psycho to respond to that with a casual hug and a 'see you later'. she should be grateful that he wasn't making this harder than it needed to be, but that didn't necessarily mean he was making it easier, either. Jeremiah's interruption wasn't an unwelcome one, giving her the opportunity to step back and shove her hands inside her pockets, awkwardly looking anywhere but at Mitch. It wasn't nice seeing him cry. "Yeah. Okay," she nodded. She wanted to ask if he was going to be alright, but it seemed like a redundant question. "You take care of yourself, okay? I'll see you, Mitch." Not quite knowing how to say goodbye, she took one hand back out of her pocket to give him an awkward wave, and then turned to leave for good.

[bitchellsmith]

Mitchell was hearing everything she was saying. Somehow, though, it was like having an out of body experience but in the worst way possible. He wasn't sure which point of hers had done it, but he didn't actually feel he was presently there. He may as well had been a ghost floating around them there as he let his arms fall back to his side and listened while Jordan essentially skewered his heart on a stick and roasted it like a marshmallow over a campfire. Her gentle approach to it might've been nicer, but it didn't take away the burn. "Huh," he muttered, his vocabulary suddenly lacking. For once in maybe his entire life, he couldn't think of words. "Alright." He wished in that moment that he didn't wear his heart so visibly on his sleeve. If he were a different kind of person, he wouldn't be standing there feeling hot and pathetic tears swimming in his eyeline. "No, I guess I don't understand that, but, um, I'm not gonna try to stop you or anything when you're clearly done, so..." His jaw tensed, shaking his head after a pause and hoping it distracted from the fact he was fully crying. "Can you tell me one thing? I just need to know...is there anything I could've done to change your mind?"

[jordanxjoplin]

It hadn't been easy hearing him plead with her, but for some reason, his tearful acceptance was even worse. As much as Jordan was sure this was the right thing, for both of them, she wished that doing the right thing didn't feel so shitty. The last thing she wanted was for him to cry, and there was still a residual instinct to be the one to wipe his tears away. She was trying to be as careful with him as she could, to make this easy, but she was starting to see that there truly was no way to do this. Though she was trying to keep her distance, his next question had her shaking her head and reaching out to pull him into a tight hug. "You listen to me, Mitchell Smith," her voice was a lot firmer, because if nothing else, she wanted him to remember this. "I know it's a cliche to say 'it's not you, it's me'... but it really is. You've done nothing wrong. This is all on me."

[bitchellsmith]

Mitch had been victim to his siblings dumping ice down the back of his shirt many times, and the words coming from Jordan's side gave him a similar feeling to that. He was frozen in place, blinking as he tried to process it. She was saying all these things and not looking at him, and the fact she couldn't even make eye contact made it feel like something was causing his lungs to tie into a giant knot. "You think," he repeated, licking his lips as the wheels in his mind were practically setting off sparks with how fast they turned, "or you know? Cause it sounds like you know, Jordan." This wasn't even something he could save with a joke or funny little stunt. His breath hitched in his chest before he continued talking, the panic finally hitting him and hard. "Did...did I do something? Like, did I say something stupid? Cause if I did, I...I'm sorry, Jordan. And I don't...I'm not sure what, but I can fix it. I swear. If it's just some dumb thing, I'll stop and I'll change it, okay? Just...please, don't...don't end things like this." He was practically begging, his fingers now gripping against her shoulders and doing all he could to try and get her to just meet his eyes and look at him. "Jordy, baby, please."

[jordanxjoplin]

Jordan was under no illusion that this would be an easy conversation to have, but she didn't think she'd realised just how difficult it was actually going to be. Perhaps that was naïve to think, given just how long their relationship had been going on. She was a teenager when she met him, but the Jordy who had loved him, and seen a whole future with him, was not the same Jordy she was now. She wasn't sure when the wakeup call was, but seeing her sister leave her own single days behind to settle down with her boyfriend and her kid had her realising that while Jess had settled on who she was before meeting her partner, Jordan couldn't say the same. From there, the cracks grew, and now it felt like she and Mitch were standing on opposite sides of the grand canyon. "All right," there was a small, sad sigh in her voice. "I know." Her words were firm, but not unkind. She just wanted to make sure there was nothing up in the air, and nothing left ambiguous. He deserved that much. When he started pleading with her though, she winced. "Mitch, please. Don't do that," she squeezed her eyes shut, and when she opened them again, her line of vision finally met his. "You didn't do anything stupid. Well, I guess you kind of always do things that are stupid, but that's not it. I liked that about you. I still do," she corrected herself. It was be easier if she'd realised she fallen out of love with who he was as a person, if there was a habit or quirk she just couldn't live with anymore, but that would be a lie. She still loved the bones off of him - that love just wasn't romantic anymore. "You don't need to change a thing. Not for me, not for anyone. But Mitchell... this isn't it. What we have will always be so special to me, but we've ran our course. Don't you understand that?"

[bitchellsmith]

For Mitch, it was a typical night at the Smith house. He observed from the kitchen, shoving a cookie into his mouth while glancing over the back's of Mikki and Hunter's heads as they watched some boring looking animal documentary in the living room. He was considering joining them or possibly bugging one of the others until the doorbell rang. "I got it!" he shouted loud enough for his voice to echo throughout the first floor of their house, practically showing off parkour moves in the process as he skirted over to the door. He opened it, expecting pizza or something but being just as happy and surprised by who was on the other side. "Jordy!" he greeted, although the smile he wore dipped once she spoke. Her tone set off immediate alarm bells that something was wrong. "Oh...um, alright, yeah, just..." He trailed off, glancing behind his shoulder before looking back at her and stepping outside. The door was shut behind him quickly afterwards. A pit of nervousness settled in his gut, one that only churned a bit harder the longer Jordan went without looking him in the eye. "Baby, what's going on?" he asked, his hands automatically reaching out to gently touch her shoulders and let his thumb smooth itself over her skin.

[jordanxjoplin]

If Jordan was being honest, she'd been growing away from Mitchell for a long time now. She'd been pulling away, and as much as she was trying, she had reached a point where she couldn't deny what was right in front of her face anymore. And the worst thing was, he didn't even seem to have noticed anything was up - or at least, he didn't until she hit him with the we need to talk. There was no good way to put it, but it was cruel to continue the way they were. It wasn't just herself she was holding back. While he was wasting time on Mitch-and-Jordy, he was being held back too, even if he didn't know it yet. "Mitch," she began, and she couldn't help but wince when his hands made contact to her shoulders. "I think... I think we need to break up. And I know that you probably don't want that, but it's the right thing to do. I just can't..." She took a deep breath. It was suddenly a lot harder to articulate herself. "We've been together so long... I think I've forgot who I am without you, and I don't want that. I need to be by myself and figure my shit out."

[jordanxjoplin]

She had been putting this off for far too long, hoping that the growing feelings of dissatisfaction would fade. Jordan had been with Mitch for so long that it had been hard to let go - for almost a year now, she had tried to get back on track, tried to convince herself she could work through her feelings, because she loved him. She did love him, but she wasn't in love with him anymore, and that was the hardest part to swallow. She knew what she had to do, but that didn't mean ripping the band aid off would be easy.

"Hey," her voice was gentle as she spoke. "I really need to talk to you, and I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to say, Mitch. I'm sorry." She couldn't meet his eyes, looking everywhere but directly at him.

@bitchellsmith

[garrycohen]

“Wanna see my special skill?” Garry asked, stupid excitement twinkling in his eyes. He dribbled the basketball he’d been holding a couple times, taking a moment to warm up before he turned away from the hoop so that his back was towards it. With the skewed confidence of an NBA player, he tossed the ball over his shoulder, nodding and smiling with the expectation that he’d be able to make the shot without looking. Even as it pinged off the rim, the grin was still on his face. “Yep. That was all for you, girl.” @jordanxjoplin​

[jordanxjoplin]

.

The move was stupid, a complete and total act of idiocy - but Jordan laughs at his anyway. Either she was stupid too, or she had it bad for the guys. Maybe all of the above. “You’re right,” she cracks a lop-sided grin. “That is special. You did all that for me?” One hand rests on her chest, directly over her heart. “I guess I’m honoured, then,” she teases. “But you’ve set the standards too high. I’ve got nothing to dazzle you with, now. Super unfair of you.”

[jordanxjoplin]

jessxjoplin​:

“I don’t know, I actually applaud you for the bra reuse. You’re keeping the world a bit greener, and honestly, do we really need multiple bras? Unless you’re, like, a lingerie model, I’m not sure it’s necessary. The stabbing tells you it’s well loved and a sign of actually needing a new one, that’s all.” Jess nodded slowly, understanding but also knowing she wasn’t going to be shopping for sexy undies anytime soon, especially if the positive pee stick said anything. That was a little something she wasn’t ready to share with the family yet, though, so she returned her focus back to Jordan’s qualms. “Juliet kind of has that ‘ruin a great plan’ energy to her. Like, I don’t know how many times she needs to be told to not get all her ideas off of Instagram before it really clicks in her mind. I don’t know what mom and dad did to have the rest of us turn out semi normal and her like…that.” Jess smirked, showing faux offense in response to her comment. “Sounds like I’m gonna have to work harder then. I might let you off the hook and save the embarrassment for Juliet, though, she’s so much easier. She’s already been dealing with that weird Scottish guy blowing her phone up, my plans might just be the thing to send her over the edge and I, for one, would love to see that happen.”  

“If I had it my way, I wouldn’t wear bras at all. Guarantee that a man invented them.” Jordan took a moment to fidget with the strap of the one she had on, suddenly uncomfortable. “But yeah. Multiple bras, it’s all just a big scam. Especially when, like, my love life is dry. Not like yours. When do we get to meet this guy, anyway? I’m sure he can’t wait to be initiated into the Joplin clan,” she sniggered. Jess had been fucking around with some guy for a little while now, and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t curious about him. “I don’t know what to tell you. The girl is just... something else, you know? I think she was more than likely dropped on her head a few times. We should ask Johnny about it. He was probably the one who dropped her, now that I think about it.” Despite being way closer in age to Juliet, she and Jordan had never really clicked as people. She had always been closer to Jess. She didn’t understand Juliet, at all. “It’s fucking hilarious. That Scottish guy, I mean. Jerry told me she’s been just as bad, though. Did you know that they slept together?” 

[jordanxjoplin]

jessxjoplin·:

“Not sure. I don’t really ask people about that, but I might have to now. It’d be an interesting conversation starter.·‘So when’s the last time you were stabbed by a bra wire?’ And that’s…yeah, that’s a good point, although I think if a guy cares about what type of undies I’m wearing more than getting them off me, we have an entirely different issue at hand.” Jess shrugged; despite being the most similar to each other personality wise out of all their brothers and sisters, her and Jordan still had their differences.·“They already_ do_ look at you and think that, so no issues there. And damn, come on. It’d be cute. We could get the rest of the family on board, too. Imagine Johnny with pink streaks…although Juliet would probably pretend to be a gamer girl and sell used bath water if she got pink streaks, so actually scratch that idea.” She raised a brow, shaking her head slightly.·“So much concern with what’s ‘cool’, Jordy, such a shame. Besides, isn’t it my job to embarrass you slightly and make things less cool?”

“Maybe it’s just me, and it’s what I deserve for wearing the same bras year after year,” Jordan shrugged.·“I mean, it’s not like a regular occurrence or anything, but it still happens.” She reached up, absently checking her underwire for any signs of imminent stabbing.·“I guess so. Still, if I’m hooking up with someone, I wanna know I look good in my underwear. The first few times at least. After that, it’s just too much effort.” Not that she’d been hooking up with anybody any time recently.·“You know, there’s no quicker way to make something lame than to get the entire family to do it. Especially Juliet. I’m honesty surprised she hasn’t made that her personality of the week already, to be honest.” Jordan raked a hand through her hair, making a mental note to pick up dye next time she was out. If matching streaks were on Jess’ mind, maybe it was time for a change.·“Looking cool is all I have, you know this If you take that away from me, who even am I anymore. I’m not sure embarrassing me counts as a profession, though. If it is, you’re fired.”

[jordanxjoplin]

jessxjoplin‌:

“I think I’ve been wearing the same bra since 2010, Jord. I’m not an expert on what’s cool. Besides, where’s the fun in being cool? My motto has always been wear what you like and makes you feel badass. Fuck the corporate fashion industry.” She got up to her feet, dusting off her jeans before turning her attention over to her sister. “Touche. I remember wanting to be Christina Aguleria in the early MTV days. Those pink streaks were everything. Hey, if I get bored, can you help me actually do the pink streak thing? I kind of want to try it.” Jess rolled her eyes. “Sounds dangerous but I don’t expect any less from you. If you do end up getting a motorcycle, at least get a sidecar too so I can cruise beside you.”

“Let’s be real, does anybody really update their bras unless the wire stabs you in the tits?” Jordan asked. “The answer is no. Besides, the only person who sees your daily underwear is you. As long as you have a date night bra, you’re good. Anyway, I like looking cool. I want people to look at me and go ‘holy shit, I want to be like that,” she shrugged, though the grin on her face showed she wasn’t entirely serious. “There’s still time to embrace the inner Christina. You can’t have pink streaks, though. We’d look too matchy,” she pointed out, grabbing a handful of her dyed pink hair and waving it to emphasis her point. “I think having a sidecar kind of brings down the cool, Jess. You can just sit on the back and hold on tight.” 

[jordanxjoplin]

jessxjoplin‌:

“I think you can make them cool,” Jess said from where she was hunched over, trying to find the right output plug for her microphone. “Also what do you mean ‘do you remember in the 90′s’? You and me were both children, literally all I remember is drinking strawberry milk and wanting to be the next Baby Spice,” she snorted. “Leather is kind of your aesthetic so I’d say go for it. Make it your thing. I’ll go for denim or sequins and we can make Johnny wear plaid.”

“Obviously,” Jordan rolled her eyes. “I’m just asking if they’re objectively cool. I don’t even know if leather clothes are still a thing or if we save it for boots and couches these days.” She gave the bass a final strum and, evidently satisfied, set it to one side. “Scary definitely wore leather a lot,” she pointed out. “Just because I was a kid doesn’t mean I wasn’t aware of pop culture. MTV was a thing. Bootcut leather pants were having such a moment back then.” She paused, thinking over her own aesthetic. “Maybe I could get a motorcycle. Really lean into the vibe,” she joked.

[jordanxjoplin]

“Are leather pants still cool?” Jordan asked, casually, looking up from the bass guitar she was in the middle of tuning. “Do you remember in the 90′s or whatever, when all the hot people were wearing leather pants? I wanted a pair so bad. What do you think? Can I pull it off, or would I just look like an extra from Grease?”