we can't stop

josie. professional fuck up.

[josiegarrett]

justinxdixon​:

He had spent the last few months doing his level best to avoid Josie Garrett at all costs. It wasn’t easy - a lot of the places he would usually be or exist were places she was likely to be. Luckily, with the news that there was a kid on the way, Justin’s life was shifting away from the man he was when he was in love with Josie, and into something else entirely. The need to go into those spaces was lessened, and the more time went by without seeing her, the less likely it seemed that they would ever bump into one another again. Despite the risk of seeing her seeming to be low, he still hadn’t fully shaken the habit of shopping in the mini mart she had been fired from. It wasn’t likely that she’d return to the scene of her firing and humiliation. Here, at least, he was safe. 

Or so he thought. He was filling a basket with spaghetti and apple juice - just the basics - and a bunch of red roses for Jess. But as he turned to check out the shelf behind him, he realised that his attempts not to run into Josie Garrett had failed him today - not only that, but she wanted to talk. Justin couldn’t help but wince. “Um, hey yourself.” He glanced at the roses, seemingly just remembering they were in his hand. “Oh. Yeah. I just…” He didn’t know how to explain the situation, so he trailed off with a shrug, hoping that the fact he was buying roses at all would let her know he was moving on. 

Josie wasn’t an idiot, not in that moment at least, so his reaction didn’t go unnoticed. She saw the flinch, and it caused her to look down at her scuffed Converse. What did she truly expect? Their last conversation consisted of him confessing his love and her chopping a metaphorical axe through it. She was so fucking scared of feeling any shred of vulnerability that she had to take it out on others or push them away in order to not feel so much. It was ridiculous. It was also too late, or so she thought. The roses in his basket made her wonder if deep down, maybe she was wrong. About him, about her, about everything. She didn’t want to have to spill her guts in the middle of a corner store, but she couldn’t swallow it down.

“Justin, look...” She had to take a deep breath and force herself to unravel the material of her sleeves from where it was balled up in her hands. If she was going to apologize, or better yet, tell him how she really felt, it needed to be done properly. “I didn’t mean to ruin any plans if you got those for me or whatever, I just...I need you to know that I fucked this up, me. I fucked up. That’s what I do, I know, but I...I shouldn’t have with you. You didn’t deserve it. Any of it.” She was trying hard not to fidget, but it became more difficult as everything she said became more uncomfortable. She had to shove her hands back into her pockets to stop them from trembling. “And the truth is that I...I love you, too. I was scared to say it before because I lose almost every single person in my life that I love, and I’m still fucking terrified, but I’m saying it anyway. I don’t know if this fixes or changes anything because I feel like I’ve already lost you, but I love you, Justin.”

[josiegarrett]

All Josie wanted and planned on doing for sure that day was rescuing her poor, old hoodie she knew was still hanging in the backroom of the shitty mini mart she’d been fired from months prior. She didn’t expect the cruel twist of being bombarded on top of that. Josie should’ve known at that point that her life was a chain of little moments where some higher power was getting off on watching her suffer. As she yanked her arms through the sleeves, she skidded to a sudden stop upon seeing Justin. Fuck. Brutal would’ve been an understatement in describing the way their last encounter ended, and the more Josie got in her head about it, the more she felt like she fucked up massively. He could’ve been the best thing for her, and all she did was cut him down like every good thing in her life. It was so dumb. She didn’t know why it scared her so much, why accepting the fact that maybe there was someone who could see past the surface with her was so fucking hard. Whatever the case, she owed him something, some kind of explanation to show she wasn’t always a cruel, unfeeling bitch. Maybe an apology would be the first place to start.

She was knocked from her trance as a couple walked by her, the reality of the situation hitting her. The city was big enough that this chance might’ve be her only moment to try and patch things up. If she could sort-of do that with Chloe, why not him? With a breath, she stepped closer until she was just within a few feet of him. “Justin, hey. Look, I, uh...oh, are...are those roses?” @justinxdixon​

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

“Eh, water under the bridge,” Chloe shrugged, as though she was the one forgiving Josie for essentially assaulting her. She wasn’t the first person Chloe had ever laid her hands on, and probably wouldn’t be the last. Was she proud of it? Not really, but when she saw red, there was little else that could be done. She acted on pure impulse, always had done, and that was unlikely to change. “Asshole,” she agreed, with a small nod of her head. “You know men, though. They always get pissy when they find out that you just want to be friends. It’s tragic. If you don’t actually wanna be with him, I say cut your losses and run. There’s plenty of guys in this city who’ll give us free weed.” If she was being brutally honest, Chloe had known for ages that Josie and Justin were heading here. She had seen how he looked at her, and knew Josie well enough to know that a happy ever after wasn’t in the cards. “We should have known when he turned down a threesome that he was a weirdo.” Thoughts diverted from Justin, turning to the man next door and his spandex shrink-wrapped dick. “It’s really not what I wanna see when I’m getting my mail in the morning, but I’m enjoying making his girlfriend mad about it. You’re right. Grey sweatpants are magical, magical things.” Her face darkened at Josie’s words, grip tightening a little on her cup. “Yeah, well, it is what it is. Not like it matters anyway, right? I mean, any idiot can get a masters degree.” 

“Maybe you should’ve punched me harder. I mean, I’m sitting here getting all worked up over good dick. Like, what the fuck? When did I become that annoying, dumb bitch?” she shook her head, the thought suddenly pissing her off more than it logically should’ve. She had a right to be angry. Most of Josie’s life had been fueled by anger, though, and she wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted anymore. With a sigh, she glanced over at Chloe and really took her words into consideration. With this instance, she couldn’t help but feel that Chloe was right about everything. “My brother could probably get us weed,” she thought out loud, considering James’s connections. “I’m not really sure if I’m talking to him yet, but here I am,” she gestured between the two of them, “so who the fuck knows what’ll happen. We’re not going near Joshua, though, he sells oregano and I’m genuinely surprised he hasn’t been in a targeted gang attack because of it.” Josie wasn’t totally stupid, so she knew that school was obviously a sensitive topic. Still, she wasn’t sure if it was just the alcohol or natural impulse, but she reached over to push a piece of Chloe’s hair out of her face and left her hand resting against her cheek. “It’s okay to be sad about it, Chlo. Not that you need a masters or anything. It’s a shit ton of money and you’re already the smartest person I know, but still.” She finally dropped her hand as her gaze remained fixed on her friend. “Do you wanna slap me or something? It might make you feel better.”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Chloe allowed Josie the time to talk, staying quiet while she voiced her thoughts out loud. Most people would never have put her down as a good listener, but she figured she owed it to Josie now. Things definitely weren’t back to normal for them. Maybe they wouldn’t for a while yet, but Josie was clearly trying, and that was all the more reason to put in the effort. Once she was finished talking, Chloe cast her eyes to her almost-empty drink. If they were going to talk about this, she was going to need a refill. “I dunno. Slapping you hasn’t worked too well, historically,” she pointed out, a small grin appearing on her face at the prospect. “You sure you want my opinion on this?” she raised an eyebrow in question, but didn’t wait for an answer before ploughing on. “I think you’re overcomplicating things. I mean… do you want to be with Justin?” Chloe didn’t think much of him, but clearly Josie had a different opinion, considering they had been sleeping together for so long. “Because I think that’s what makes the difference, you know? I mean, if there was someone who was telling me they loved me, and I wanted to be with them, I wouldn’t wanna ruin that because I’m scared.” She’d never really been scared of anything. Not in the way Josie was saying, at least. “Eh. Sort of. I’ve seen him in lycra, though. There’s really not much to work with,” she shrugged, her expression darkening once more at Josie’s attempt at a compliment. “Yeah? Could have fooled me, since I’m still here and all. This is the only city shitty enough to want me, I guess.” 

“Slapping? You went full on Chris Jericho and beat my ass, Chloe. Slap isn’t even remotely accurate,” she snorted, shaking her head and bringing her drink back up to her lips. “Unless you’re talking about other types of slapping, which is was probably under very different circumstances. But anyways, off topic.” She gave her a tiny eyebrow raise, as if to say ‘duh, would I be asking otherwise?’ before listening as she gave her view. She let out a light huff, shoulders raising and dropping as she considered the question. “I don’t...I don’t know. Maybe? I don’t want to be with him right now, that’s for sure. I was trying to give him an easy way out and he responded by getting all defensive and acting like any friendship we had before didn’t mean shit because I hurt his feelings. Asshole.” She shook her head, not wanting to get worked up about him any more and using that as an excuse to have another long swig of her rum and coke. It was one that almost turned into a choke as she thought about the shorts Chloe’s neighbor must’ve been sporting. “Sounds about right. It’s the delusional ones who think tight clothes will make their dicks look bigger. Hate to say it, but Rupert went through a Spandex phase and I literally wanted to kill myself every single day I had to be seen with him. If a guy is packing, though, he’s usually wearing grey sweatpants. It’s just a rule of nature.” Josie rolled her eyes, turning her head to really look at Chloe. “Shut up, dude. Like...love you and everything, but shut up. You’re really going to believe what some crusty old man at a university admissions board thinks of you? Really? Someone who doesn’t know shit about you?”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

“I’ve fucked worse,” was Chloe’s only response. They both knew that to be true. If there was anything Chloe lacked at times, it was both high standards and good judgement, especially when drugs and alcohol had been thrown into the mix. She quietened down to listen to Josie’s story, rolling her eyes and grimacing when she filled her in on what had happened. “So many people are just so determined to ruin a good thing,” she reasoned. “It’ll be fine, though. There’s plenty more dick to ride out there that isn’t going to start wrecking everything by talking about feelings.” If he words were flippant, her tone showed she was taking it serious. In fact, if they were talking about literally anything else, she might have sounded wise. “Please. My neighbours are this ultra-granola couple who go for runs at 5:30 in the morning. I pass them when I’m coming home sometimes. I’m pretty sure the guy has a crush on me. Whenever I bump into him, he makes these comments about craving chocolate. It’s not subtle.” She made a face of disgust, poking her tongue out to emphasise. “Your whole family is weird. It’s a miracle at least Teddy turned out normal,” she teased. She definitely didn’t have room to talk when it came to weird families, but the Garretts took the cake. “You don’t have to be nice about Georgia, you know. I’m over it. And I know you didn’t want me to go there, anyway.”

“That’s an understatement,” Josie snorted and took another pull of her drink. Neither of them really had the best track record of people they’d slept with, but at least it made for hilarious memories. Those memories were currently fuzzy, though, Josie’s last romp with Justin being a little too fresh. “Yeah. It’s just...” she shook her head, not wanting to say her sudden thoughts out loud but feeling like she had to. Shitty communication was what fucked her and Chloe to begin with. She sighed, taking a long drink before speaking up again. “Feel free to slap me or whatever if this sounds totally fucking stupid, but, like...what if he’s, I don’t know, the ‘one for me’, and I just blew it because I’m too scared to even let a guy in close enough to even try and love me? Maybe he really does...or maybe he was just in a post orgasm high. Probably the later. I...I don’t know what the fuck to think or feel anymore.” Josie’s nose wrinkled at the thought of going for a run before the sun had fully risen. It was a bit ironic, considering that her life used to consist of getting up early and kicking a ball around a field glazed by morning dew. It was weird how life could change in a snap. “Is he at least hot? You can always ask if they’re into threesomes and help him settle his ‘chocolate’ craving, or tell him to shove a Kit-Kat down his throat.” Josie shrugged, not even attempting a counter argument. If there was one thing that was true about her family, weird was it and an understatement at that. “I’m not. You wanted to go, so...yeah. It’s your education, anyways, not mine. I’m destined to rot here for the rest of my life, but you? Not so much.” She shrugged, not sure how else to put it without getting sappy. 

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

“I don’t know. In a game of fuck, marry, kill with Putin, Trump or Boris Johnson, I’m fucking Putin. I’ll be sure to let him know your opinions on his country’s greatest achievement, though.” She tapped the side of the bottle to illustrate her point. Josie’s act of patting herself down had her raising an eyebrow. “Just wait for him to leave and ask his roommate if you don’t want to see him. Fuck, it went that badly, huh?” She didn’t think very highly of Justin, but she was still curious as to exactly what went down between them. How he thought telling Josie he loved her was a good idea was beyond her. As far as she knew, they had only ever been fucking. It really wasn’t that deep. “I don’t think there’s such thing as a hot Igor. Any kid with that name is destined to be a reclusive hunchback bellringer. Igor,” She moaned the name in her most pornographic voice, then made a face. “Nope, there’s no saving it.” Josie’s question had her nodding. “Yeah, Teddy. He’s cool.” she shrugged, though at the mention of Georgia, her body language tensed again. “No to Georgia. Didn’t get in.” Her tone was blunt, inviting no further questions. “I’m doing my masters online. S’easier.”

“I think that if those were my options, I’d kill myself instead,” she scoffed lightly, wondering if there could be a worse FMK combination than that. Josie sighed, not wanting to get into it but knowing she had to give Chloe something to work with. “Yep. He told me he loved me, and I told him that he shouldn’t and that he’s too good for me, and he basically said that I don’t actually know anything about him or his life so how would I understand, etcetera. Not exactly things that’d make me feel welcome going back there. I might try and sneak through his window one of these days, but I also know he has a bat and would start swinging at me if I’m not super sleathy, so I might just have to cut the loss and move on. It’s just a flask. I can always steal one from James.” Josie’s eyes narrowed slightly at Chloe’s description, almost choking on her drink moments later when she suddenly decided to show off her chops as if she were auditioning for a PornHub feature. “I bet your neighbors love hearing that,” she smirked. “And I’m glad it’s Teddy of all people. If you said you were hanging out with Greyson, I’d get up and leave. He makes Joshua seem normal.” Josie wasn’t the brightest, but Chloe’s reaction to her just mentioning Georgia made it obvious how she was feeling about all that. “Oh. Well...hey, everything happens for a reason, I guess. If you want to go mega nerd and get a PhD, you can always reapply, or say ‘fuck all of you’ and find a better school. They’re idiots for rejecting you.”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Most girl friends would ask Josie if she wanted to talk about it. That wasn’t them, though. Maybe that’s why their friendship fucked up as it was, had always just worked. They knew almost everything about each other, but talking about feelings, actually discussing what was bothering them? There was never any need for that with them. “Fine by me,” Chloe offered half of a shrug, picking up her glass and trying not to wince at the polish-remover taste. “It was the cheapest shit in the store. You don’t get to be picky when you show up empty-handed, dude.” She paused for a minute to think, lips pursing as though this was the most serious discussion they would have all night. “The thing about Russians is they all have dumb fuck names. Can you imagine moaning ‘Vlad’ or ‘Igor’ during sex? It’s not exactly a turn on, you know?” What had she been up to since they had last spoken? Her life hadn’t really changed much. She was still going to school, battling family drama and partying way harder than she should, but other than that, life was pretty consistent. “Not really,” she admitted. “I’ve only really been hanging around with your cousin, if I’m honest. It’s been pretty chill.” 

“All vodka is nasty, yours isn’t special by any means. I’d make the same comment if I was at Putin’s house, although let’s hope that never happens. He’s creepy as fuck.” The empty handed comment had Josie patting at her sides, brows furrowed when she realized her flask wasn’t there in the pocket. “Fuck. It fell out and is probably on Justin’s bedroom floor right now...guess I’m never getting that back again.” The thought had her take another swig of her drink. It wasn’t like she couldn’t replace it. It was just a shitty, cheap metal container with rum that had taken on a bit of a metallic taste. The principal of having to go back there and face him, though? That was too scary to think about sober. “Maybe it’d be hotter if it was something longer like Vladimer instead of just Vlad, or Aleksander. I don’t think there’s any recovery from Igor, though. Any man named Igor is destined to a sexless life. I think if I were to fuck an Igor, he’d have to be really fucking hot with a dick that shoots solid gold.” She swished her drink around in the glass, eyebrows pinched curiously. “Which cousin, Teddy? Or is it one of the other million gremlins in my family?” She pressed her lips together, not sure if what she was about to say next would go over well but asking it anyways. “And Georgia? Are you reapplying for, uh, anything there?”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Chloe had been on the receiving end of plenty of hugs from Josie over the years. They were more tactile with one another than most were with their spouses. That didn’t stop her being surprised by it now, though. Maybe it was just because they had gone so long without speaking, but Chloe couldn’t quite recall having the breath literally squeezed out of her lungs like this before. Her arms went around Josie briefly, before she started to complain about it. “Get off me, you freak,” she grumbled, but there was none of the edge to her voice that had been there when she had been when she was firing insults at her. “Have a drink. Chill. It’s fine.” Chloe stepped away from Josie, and with her foot, kicked out the chair she had previously been sitting on, sinking into it and pouring herself a generous amount of vodka. “Jesus, your life must really have gone to shit if you’re apologising. I doubt Justin is the one who got you this fucked up.” 

Somehow, the freak comment brought the smallest of smiles to Josie’s lips as she untangled herself. She knew Chloe’s tone enough to understand that in a way, that was her version of a term of endearment. “Gladly,” she sighed, watching as Chloe poured the vodka into her cup. “Believe it or not, but yeah, it really has gone to shit. It’s kind of...a bunch of little things that piled up, I guess. He’s part of it. Not sure I want to think about it, though.” She grabbed for the vodka once Chloe was finished, pouring a decent amount for herself as well. “I’d much rather drink about it.” She took a quick swig of the straight up vodka from her glass, eyes squeezing shut and almost sputtering at how strong it was on its own. “Wow, that’s fucking disgusting. I’d fuck a Russian, but I could never be one myself. How they manage to enjoy this shit on its own, I’ll never know.” She refilled the tiny bit she’d sipped down before mixing in enough Coke to make it bearable. “Anyways, any big updates in your life that I missed out on while I was being an emo bitch baby?”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Chloe shrugged. “Probably. We’re cunts.” She wanted to continue to be hard-faced, but her own comment brought a smirk to her face. They were cunts, and that was why they worked so well as friends. Nobody else could ever reach their level of petty bitch. It was why they gravitated to one another in the first place, why they bounced off each other so perfectly. and why, when things went wrong, they had hit such a low point. She had missed Josie. Nobody else got her in quite the same way. “If I were pushing you out the door, you would already be on your ass in the hall.” She pointed out. Chloe stood up, walking to the fridge and pulling out a bottle of vodka and two cans of Coke. Then, she went to the cupboard and brought back two cups. “I don’t forgive you. But I’ll let you earn it. Okay?” 

Josie let out a breath, shrugging. Chloe did have a point there. They were cunts, and normally, that’s what bonded them. It didn’t make her feel any better about the situation at hand, though. She didn’t even know how to react to her comment that followed or the way she casually walked to the fridge to pull out drinks. She glanced over at Chloe’s dogs, wishing at least one of them would start talking and save the day like they did in those stupid movies Oscar loved. Her brows narrowed slightly as she turned back, her gaze traveling from the glasses to Chloe’s face. She was anticipating having to watch her shake up one of the cans and open it in her direction. That didn’t come, though. She was actually almost dumbfounded by what actually did. It wasn’t forgiveness, and she didn’t expect that for a while. It was something, though. A little glimmer of hope was better than none at all. She nodded jerkily. “Okay.” Her voice was only louder than a whisper. Before she knew what was happening or could think to control her own limbs, she broke the space between them to hug Chloe. It wasn’t a wussy hug either. For such a tiny person, Josie could hug hard. “I am sorry, y’know,” she muttered, wincing at how pathetic she sounded. She hoped the strangled tone, like she was close to tears, wasn’t too obvious. 

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Chloe looked away from the wall, finally shifting her attention back to Josie. She honestly couldn’t really be bothered to continue the argument, but making up with Josie felt way too much like she wasn’t holding her ground, like she was letting her get away with everything. Chloe had spent her life fighting. Siblings, parents, stepmoms and stepdads, cousins, boyfriends, every idiot who got on her nerves. She never shied away from going toe to toe with any of them, but the forgiveness part? That was new. “Maybe I just wanted to see what you have to say for yourself,” she shot back, eyes narrowing in defensiveness. “I don’t trust you not to make me look like an idiot again, Josie. You’re doing it again right now. Can you honestly even look me in the eye and tell me you’d thought about making up before you realised you’d pushed away everyone else who would listen to you?” She wasn’t going to be guilted into letting go of her feelings, not even by Josie. “You want to be friends again, earn it. I’m not going to let you walk all over me.” 

“Yes,” Josie replied, watery eyes on Chloe as she responded to her question. “Yes, I did think about it. How could I not? If you think that I’ve ever let anyone else in like I did with you, then you’re stupid. Except that’s the thing, Chloe, you’re not stupid. I’m a stubborn bitch, and you know that! You know me better than anybody in the whole fucking world. Do you think I’d really be so cunty and throw everything away just because we’re fighting? Do you honestly, truly believe that?” She shook her head, not fully capable of knowing how to even try to fix this. It was like she was given a road map with huge chunks of it torn away. “Fine. Are you going to let me earn it, Chloe? Because right now, you’re not letting me do anything. You’re pushing me out the door now without giving me any sort of chance. I get it, I don’t deserve one after everything I’ve said, but people can’t walk all over you if you don’t let them in in the first place.” 

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel​:

Chloe drummed her fingers on the table, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. Of course, she wasn’t here for any other reason that herself. Though she was, technically, apologising, it wasn’t for any altruistic reasons. It was because of her own needs, yet again. She hadn’t even attempted to hide it, immediately cutting to the core of it all. She stayed silent while Josie talked, her expression becoming more and more disbelieving as Josie rambled on. After she had finished, there was a heavy pause, and Chloe took a deep breath before continuing. “Are you kidding me, Josie?” She demanded, her voice sharp. “You’re really here right now to talk about you and Justin?” She would have laughed, but right now she didn’t quite know how to feel. Chloe was no stranger to self-absorbed behaviour, but this was another level. “See, this is the problem with you, Josie. You think everyone’s lives centre around yours. You think I should forgive you because of whatever bullshit crisis you’re going through. You think your feelings are justified because hanging around here and being a fuck up with you matters more than any kind of future I could have.” She broke off, tearing her gaze away from Josie to stare thoughtfully at the wallpaper. “The thing is, Josie, nobody has left you. Or they wouldn’t, if you didn’t pull the shit that you did. You don’t give people a choice, and then you hold the inevitable against them.” 

“I didn’t-” she started to reply, gritting her teeth in frustration. She wasn’t trying to be self centered about this, even if it came off that way. She was attempting to apologize, and she felt stupid enough about that in the first place. Sorry wasn’t a word she was used to using. She didn’t expect there to be hugging and unicorns flying over rainbows right away, but she also didn’t expect it to be so damn difficult. Rather than fight it, though, she let Chloe spout off whatever she was feeling before stepping back into the ring. “Okay, Chloe,” she replied, her tone harsher than intended. “I fucked up, and I made you feel really bad about something that was important to you. I get that. I understand, and I’m sorry about that, but cut the shit already. Why did you let me inside if everything you said is what you truly believe?” She gave her an exaggerated shrug. “What do you want me to do or say, Chloe? I’m trying, okay? I’m really trying to apologize and it’s coming from a genuine place, but that’s not enough for you or you just refuse to hear it. Fine. So what do you want? What is it going to take for you to not hate me? Because I’m really fucking tired of this. If you can honestly tell me there’s nothing left here between us, I’ll go. I’ll fuck off and leave you alone for the rest of your life, but I’m done fighting.”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel‌:

Chloe didn’t say anything. She withdrew inside her window, slamming it shut behind her. She had half a mind to leave it at that. It would certainly serve Josie right, for how she had treated her. Chloe knew that they were bad for one another, the type of twisted, toxic friendship that benefitted neither of them. However, before she had even realised what she was doing, she had made her way to her hallway, pressing the buzzer to allow Josie to enter. One of the dogs padded out to investigate, and with one hand, she grabbed his collar. The other unlatched the door, and she nudged it open with her foot. Once Josie had appeared at the top of the stairs, she turned, heading into her kitchen and dragging her dog along with her and taking a seat at her tiny table. “Go ahead. Talk.” 

Josie starred at the window for a few seconds after it had been shut, not exactly knowing what that meant. She considered throwing another pebble when she heard an obnoxious buzz from the front entrance. She awkwardly darted over, taking that to mean she was invited inside. Walking up the staircase to Chloe’s level felt like she was rising into hell. Whoever said it was down and heaven was up hadn’t stepped off into the long, apartment hallway. She created this hell, though. She awkwardly shut the door behind her onc inside, not bothering to kick off her shoes just yet. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be there. She couldn’t predict anything. Maybe that was for the best. Her arms crossed over her chest. “Okay. Um...so I fucked Justin. And that’s not out of the ordinary or anything, I know that, but, uh, this time? This time he told me he loved me, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do.” She shook her head a bit, hating that she had to relive it but knowing she needed to to get to her point. “So yeah, that’s all gone to shit now like everything else. But the thing is, the whole time I was freaking out, I, uh...I wanted to talk to you about it. After everything stupid, fucked-up thing between you and me, the first person I wanted to run to about it was you, so I just thought you should know that.” She could have left it there, but she was on a roll. If this was her only chance, she might as well shoot her shot. “Am I sorry for getting mad over you leaving? No. I was upset that I wasn’t going to have you around. I went about it the wrong way, but they’re my feelings, so I’m not sorry for that. I am sorry for acting how I did. Everybody fucking leaves me, Chloe, or if they’re close to it and I can feel it, I push them away to lessen the blow. I shouldn’t have done that with you. I know that doesn’t make up for, like, anything, but I needed you to know that.”

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel‌:

It had been way too long since the two had even come close to talking like normal people, and given how their last attempt at conversation had gone, Chloe couldn’t help but feel suspicious. Whatever Josie wanted, Chloe was sure it had little to do with Chloe herself. Just more Josie Garrett drama, the only thing that mattered when it came to her former friend. “Right,” Chloe propped an elbow on the window, looking down at Josie with her head cocked. There was something almost pathetic about her in that moment, and that made her more curious than she was previously inclined to be. “Go on then. Talk.” 

Josie sighed as Chloe seemed to get comfortable in the window there, her gaze falling back down to her coffee covered shoes. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but this didn’t feel like a great start. “I mean, can I come up there and talk to you, or you down here?” she replied, making sure there was no room for misinterpreting what she intended to say. The tinge of frustration was evident in her voice. Frustration with Chloe, with herself, with everything that had happened. She didn’t even know where to begin with digging herself out of the hole she created. “Unless you want all your neighbors to be tuned in to this moment with us.” 

[josiegarrett]

justinxdixon‌:

Justin pressed his lips together. Despite the fact she was trying, for now, at least, to respond to what he had said in a way that was almost kind, he didn’t believe her. It was on him. He wasn’t good enough, like he had never been for anybody. “That’s bullshit,” He said, his voice little more than a whisper, but edged in something far sharper. “If I wanted a way out, I would tell you. You don’t know what I deserve. Can you even tell me anything about my life, right now? Where I grew up, my family? Do you even remember my last name? If you just got to know me…” He trailed off, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maybe you should go.” 

Josie was uncharacteristically silent from the moment Justin started talking. Was he wrong about what he said? No. The fact was, there wasn’t a lot about his personal life she could answer to. That’s not who they were together. They worked because they didn’t let the personal stuff cloud over everything else...well, at least that used to work. The last name question caused a pang in Josie’s chest. If that’s how he saw her, she wasn’t sure why she was still there. “Fine,” she replied quietly, grabbing her jacket from the ground and sliding it on. “But just remember, you’re the one who agreed to the friends with benefits thing. And I thought I did know you...but whatever, right? Like you said, it’s not like that’s true.” She didn’t bother to try and hold back tears anymore, letting them fall as she shrugged and walked towards the door. “Maybe it’s easier for us to be strangers if that’s how you feel. Later, Justin Dixon.” There wasn’t any malice in her words. It was pure devastation. 

[josiegarrett]

chloexsteel‌:

Chloe was bent over her laptop, furiously typing. She had left her assignment to the last minute, as usual, but as usual, was confident in her ability to pull it together at the last minute. That is, if whoever was throwing shot at her window would cut it out. Letting out an “ugh” of exasperation, she grabbed the Starbucks cup that she had forgotten to drink. Without looking, she opened the window, took of the lid of the vanilla latte, and flung the paper cup, and its stone-cold contents, at the annoyance below. It wasn’t until the voice made its way up to her that she stopped, furrowing her brow and sticking her head out of the window. “What do you want?” 

Josie’s brows pinched together when she heard the window slide open, both shooting up in surprise once she saw not Chloe’s face emerge from above but a cup, and it was tumbling down in her direction. What the fuck? she thought as she just stepped out of the way to avoid a direct hit. She groaned softly as some of the coffee jumped out and splattered all over her boots. She probably deserved that, if not worse. Sighing, she crossed her arms and glanced back up towards her friend. Friend, could she even call her that right now? Was there even a proper term to describe the level of hell their relationship was in? Whatever they were, she looked at Chloe and shrugged, almost in a meek manner. “To talk...if that’s okay.”

[josiegarrett]

justinxdixon‌:

Justin was utterly speechless. He gaped at her for a moment, unable to even formulate words. He had thought she wanted him to back off, but when he had done so, he had, somehow, made things worse. “That’s not fair,” he said, but he had gone beyond trying to placate her. There was anger in his tone now, an utter frustration that she would twist his words like that. “What, because I’m not throwing myself at your feet and making an idiot of myself, it means I don’t mean what you say? For someone who think they’re unloveable, you sure have a lot of ideas about it. Maybe you don’t think that at all. Maybe it’s just me.”

“No, it’s...” Josie searched for words, but they didn’t come. It was even harder when Justin took everything she thought she knew and pushed it back in her face. It wasn’t intentional, she knew that, but his words hit so fucking hard. Most people would let her be a bitch and burn everything down, but now she was actually having to face it. Maybe you don’t think that at all. Maybe it’s just me. God, she wanted nothing more in that moment than for Chloe to show up and rescue her. Or punch the shit out of her again. Anything to get her out of this. Any fake anger that she was able to muster up before was gone. She was angry, but more at herself for all this shit she’d caused. “It’s not you,” she replied, her voice a lot quieter than before. “I mean, it is, but it isn’t. You...you deserve a way out, Justin. You deserve so much better than me. This...this was supposed to be you and me being idiot friends who smoke too much and like sex. I don’t think...” She trailed off, getting choked up again. “I don’t want to hurt you. I know I already have and that everything’s fucked up, but I really don’t. I just don’t know if I could ever love you how you want or deserve to be loved.”

[josiegarrett]

Josie knew that the chance of rejection was around 99.9%. That was something she was willing to take. She was still angry, and a lot of nasty shit had been said. Still, it was Chloe. Despite saying they were done and every ridiculous, fucked up statement that was thrown at her, Chloe was still her best friend even if she wasn’t hers. What she had with Chloe wasn’t like what she had with Justin or James. They shared something that was on a completely different plane. That’s what had Josie throwing small rocks at her apartment window. It was cliche, but she knew it was likely the other girl wouldn’t answer her texts or pick up if she called. “Can we talk?” she asked once she was able to get Chloe’s attention. @chloexsteel​