inside a blogger’s mind

Just a random thought in the middle of the day or the night; about life, love or travel; with all the mental emotions

[joyofblogging]

Today I realized how important peace is for me.

When I am weary and worried, it’s hard for me to sleep.

When I have lots of thoughts, it’s hard for me to sleep.

Sometimes, I would try so hard to sleep.

Sometimes, I would listen to a calm song so that I can sleep.

When it won’t work, I get up and just start my day with less sleep.

And having less sleep would mean I don’t have an appetite to eat

I can’t think clearly

My mood is not good

It’s even hard for me to look at someone coz I would just be feeling gloomy and I can’t clearly see coz it would just be gloomy

That’s why my peace is so important to me

So that I can sleep my regular 7-8 hours a day

I can eat enough to sustain my body

I have energy to do what I need to.

And thus, anything that will cost me my peace is very expensive.

Like really!

[joyofblogging]

Mental Health is the hardest and scariest thing when it gets worst.

Your emotional, physical, spiritual well-being is also affected.

You cry without knowing why.

You’re feeling down and hopeless and even alone.

You don’t want to eat and you can’t sleep.

Every inch of you is suffering.

And the saddest part is that most of the time, we’re fighting it alone.

Not because our support system is weak or we don’t have one.

But not everyone will ever understand what we’re going through.

Episodes happen at times that we don’t really expect.

Out of nowhere

Even when we’re happy and enjoying

If it hits, it hit just like that.

Some of us are having depression but no one seems to believe us.

A lot of those who are cheerful are also having these mental health issues.

And yet, we think they’re fine because they’re smiling.

But when they are all by themselves, they cry, they kneel down, and beg God to help them.

When I am having my own episodes, I have no one to run to but to God.

Asking for His guidance and mercy

Begging for His help when I feel like I just wanna give up

Nagging Him to heal and give me strength

And maybe, that’s why, I can still smile and hide all the pain after

Because God is with me all along.

Again, we should seek for someone to help us when we’re struggling.

But the other side of the coin is “it’s easier said than done”.

I really don’t know how to comfort anyone

But I think, it is really okay not to be okay.

It is okay to feel down, to wanna cry, to just be alone.

But it’s also okay to ask for help from our family and closest friends.

I hope you are well today and every single day.

But if you’re not, go to God! He embraces so warm and tight.😍

Happy World Mental Health Day! 🫂

[joyofblogging]

Me & My Introvert Self 😌

I was invited by my classmate from elementary to attend her baby’s gender reveal.

The event is in the evening and I had work so I did not commit to her.

Instead, before the time, I made mini donuts in blue & pink for the gender reveal.

When I was done, it’s past 6PM already and my work starts at 7PM.

I messaged her that I will be there just for a bit to give something.

When we arrived there, there were lot of people at their house.

My introvert self walked back, called my Papa to accompany me inside and he said he won’t coz he hasn’t change clothes.

I stood there for a couple of minutes until I took up all my courage and asked the guest near the entrance where is my friend.

She got inside the house and called my friend.

My friend went outside, met me and I gave my mini donuts.

We talked for probably 2-3 minutes then we went home.

She asked me to have dinner but I can’t for three good and valid reasons:

1. My Father was waiting for me at the motorcycle

2. My Mother was waiting for us at home to have dinner

3. I have work

And yes! The #4 reason was that I was really shy. Hahaha

Anyway, when we were on our way home, I can’t help but smile at the thought of me wanting to just go home after seeing those people.

I don’t know who are they. I can’t even clearly see their faces because it’s dark.

But well, the introvert in me got really the best of me. 😅

BTW, here’s my mini donuts!☺️

[joyofblogging]

60 hours in Cebu City!

Last Thursday, I traveled from the island to Cebu City. I went to the city for some errands. Which I usually do these days. And that’s the only reason I am going to Cebu, if I have schedule or errands or something I need to do or some travels.

I started my trip with zero sleep since I came from work. I tried to sleep during the trip as much as I can. But I think I just had 2 hours in total.

Arrived almost 1pm in Pier 1. Booked Grab and went to Barangay Seoul Express in IT Park for late lunch. I then went to the bank for some stuff and waited until I was told their system was offline. Decided to go to Centralbloc and roamed around. Before I decided to go home (my aunt’s house) so that I can sleep.

I was able to sleep maybe 2 hours before I had to prepare since I had work.

The next day (Friday), I woke up early, before 8AM. Got ready and departed from the house. Went back to IT Park and only to find out that it’s still offline.

Decided to go to my next errand then went to Ayala to have lunch. I met April and we had lunch at Barikata. I almost got scammed by someone calling and pretending he’s from BPI.

We then went to Centralbloc. She went to Workplace to do some work while I roamed around Centralbloc to buy something.

We then went somewhere then went to Dermacare Mabolo for some facial treatments. I needed it so bad. Haha

We spent an hour or so there before we decided to go back to Centralbloc to grab some dinner then went separate ways.

Another day of work again. Was so sleepy because my regular number of hours sleep was distorted.

The next day, I was able to sleep until 10 in the morning (about 5 hours) before I prepared to go to SM Seaside.

Departed from the house at past 2PM. Went near Sotto Hospital to buy some ointments. Then took the free ride of MyBus to SM Seaside.

Met my former officemates, Joyce & Nicole with their hubbies and babies and Joyce’s mom. I got a hug from Tanya who’s so sweet and friendly. Ceti held my hand and smiled every once in a while.

We went to Bohol Bee Farm to grab some food (only me) and drinks. Before we separated our ways. I went to buy some bread to take back home in the island.

Then went to where the MyBus is. Took another free ride to Fuente. Then I took a taxi going back home.

Prepared my stuff, took a nap, left the house to South Bus Terminal.

I arrived in the terminal at almost 12MN. Waited for the ticket booth to open then went to bus after.

We departed from the terminal at past 1AM. Arrived in Bato at almost 5AM. Hopped on Maayo Shipping and departed past 7AM. Arrived in Siquijor at almost 10:30AM. Then the bus went to its usual route. And I arrived home a few minutes before 12NN with both my parents sitting on the couch at the terrace, on their phones, waiting for me to arrive so that we can have lunch.

I had zero sleep and food since that seafood pasta I ordered at Bohol Bee Farm. I survived with no food and no water for hours.

My head was throbbing from being sleepy, hungry, thirsty. Waaah!! 😩😅

But all is well coz I am back home. And I couldn’t be any happier.

So thankful for all the people who welcomed me warmly in Cebu, those whom I met, and Oceanjet, Sugbo Transit and Maayo Shipping coz I am safe.

Til next time Cebu!😍

[joyofblogging]

I was scammed today!!!😩

This is kinda embarrassing but whatever. I just want to share to make sure that no one will experience the same thing. Or will not stupid like me. Hahaha

While waiting for our order, someone called me. An unknown mobile number. Since I was waiting for a call from the bank, I answered it.

The guy told me that he’s calling from BPI. He told me that he’s calling to inform that my credit card will be replaced with a Platinum Card and will be ready for pick up on Monday at TGU IT Park Branch.

But to verify and transfer all my transactions, he asked me to complete my credit card number. Which I did. He then asked me for my customer number. Which I gave. And he verified for my birthdate.

Then he told me that my rewards will be converted to cash and will be deposited into my registered savings account. Which by the way, he knew the account number.

Then he asked for my BPI Online Login Password. This time, I felt like I was hesitant but at the same time, was like hypnotized and still told him. The first one was wrong coz I really can’t remember it since I don’t login by inputting my credentials.

Then he said it’s not correct. So I mentioned another arrangement. And it went it. Then he told me that a code will be sent to me because they need it to transfer the amount to my savings account.

Thanks God that I woke up from that trap and asked him why I will give him a code for resetting my password. Since the message said that it’s for resetting my password. He said that it’s not. But I said that it is what it’s asking.

And I told him that I will be going directly to the branch and verify everything. He hung up without saying goodbye.

By the way, this is his number [phone]!

Good thing no transactions were done. Good thing my savings don’t have anything on it. Hahaha

I thought of going to the branch but it will surely take time and I needed to be somewhere. So I just called BPI’s hotline and also left a message at their Twitter account.

Thanks God someone picked up on the first call.

I told her everything and she said that it was a scam. Because they don’t ask for details like customer number and most especially, BPI Online Login Username and OTP Code.

So she deactivated my credit card. And transferred me to their online banking in-charge. My online banking account was deactivated as well. Everything!

It was kinda a hassle. But it’s better that way.

Also, they also responded at their Twitter account. They asked for the contact number of the one who called me, the date & time of the call. The same data I told the agent on their hotline.

They already created a report about it.

So here’s the takeaway.

Never ever give your customer number, account number, login credentials and most especially, OTP to anyone calling. Whether you know it’s from BPI or not.

This is the link to verify their accredited Telesales provider.

https://l.bpi.com.ph/3DHpv2p

Never ever trust anyone.

I think I’m building up another trauma. And it’s really disappointing.

What I don’t understand though is how did these scammers get all my details (account number, mobile number, birthdate, etc.) when I only provided it to the banks?

How much are we really protected by the Data Privacy and Confidentiality Protection Law?

Can these financial institutions instead create a code or something that will tell their clients that the number who’s calling is legit?

And it’s crazy how these scammers can still live without being eaten by their conscience? Stealing money from the hardwork of other people.

I don’t think the SIM Registration is working. If these scammers are still not being caught and punished.

So yeah! Be aware! Beware! Still it’s not a safe place anywhere even online or virtual. Bad people are scattered and still spreading negativity and damages.

Thanks to BPI though for being so responsive and helpful in fixing this issue!☺️

[joyofblogging]

When I was silent in July ☺️

Some time in July, I suddenly just went silent, well at least in terms with social media.

I stopped posting in my social media accounts. I put my messenger inactive. I didn’t post stories or even tweets.

I felt like days before that I was so noisy, so loud, posting a lot of things. That’s why I want to stay silent. I want to be at peace in my own bubble.

I only responded to some messages. I only wrote one or two posts in my blog since I am still in the process of increasing my traffic.

But during these times, while I was silent in the social media, I was able to get connected with other things. And a lot of things did happen.

I was able to sleep at least 7 hours a day. I was able to watch whatever I want. I was able to enroll in a course which I am still working on now.

I went to different restaurants and cafe. I ate a lot of sushi. More than how much I ate in Japan. And yes, that yummy chicken skin too! And halo-halo!

I was able to spend time with my family especially those I haven’t meet often. I ate lechon at my lola’s house during fiesta.

I ordered skin products online which I hope can treat my face.😂

I went to the beach (well, just to dine in) and to the mountain.

Booked hotels for our trip in the coming months.

I deleted my Klook account which was tagged to other user. For whatever reason, I really didn’t know how it even happen.

I cancelled a trip because I was not able to buy a ticket for Delight Party.

And I was not able to buy ticket for a meet and greet of EXO! 😞

And yeah! It only shows that there’s more to social media. There’s a lot of behind-the-scenes that people following you in social media do not know. And you will not able to know someone just based on what they posts.

So, I just think that as much as social media is a good tool to connect and all the benefits that we can get from it. It is also good to have time to just live your life behind it. Just being you. No filter. No expectations from other people. Just you and your peace and joy. And a little dose of social media break. 🥰🥂

P.S. and it’s amazing that even how silent you are, there are still people who can hear you loud and clear☺️

[joyofblogging]

I felt a bit sad today.

I really wanted to watch EXO. And I was bracing myself to pay an expensive airline ticket just to go to Jakarta from the Philippines. About Php 15000 for a roundtrip ticket.

But I was not able to buy the special bundle for the meet & greet.

What’s fascinating though?

The bundles were sold out about 15 minutes after the selling started. That fast!

When I queued, I was 22k plus. And estimated time of almost 4hours.

Gosh! The power of EXO! I still hope to see them all one day. 🙏🥹

[joyofblogging]

One of the cutest things that happened this week.

My sister asked me while we’re having lunch if someone came in the house because our gate’s lock was unlocked. Except for the double lock (at the bottom) which was still locked.

I told her that as far as I knew no one. Since I slept at past 4AM. And she said it’s opened at around 5AM.

Told her that we should check the CCTV.

After a couple of minutes of checking the recordings, I found out that my uncle came in. He opened the lock but since it was double locked, he couldn’t still get inside.

He was bringing a sack. Since he couldn’t open the gate, he just left the sack outside. Then went back home on his motorcycle.

It was a little past 7AM though.

Told my sister and we just laughed.

Hahaha

Oh by the way! It’s a sack of manure for our plants which my sister asked from him.

Just so cute!😍

That’s all! Good night 💤

[joyofblogging]

I am bad with remembering things.

But there are things (incidents and stuff) that had put a mark on me and I still remember vividly even as years passed by.

One of which is…

There was one incident 10 or so years ago.m wherein during that period, I would easily cry. Sometimes during lunch, I would eat while my tears kept on falling. This happened in the carenderia (eatery) across SM which was so close to our office. Of course, I am eating alone and I am trying my best not to get noticed.

Then when I am in the office, I would run to the CR because my tears suddenly would fall. I just didn’t know if my colleagues did notice or not.

I was really hurt so bad. But I felt like I didn’t deserve to feel hurt. I didn’t tell anyone even my parents about it. I let the days passed by, carrying that pain, trying to overcome it day by day.

I realized that I was really hurt when I shared the story to my bestfriend during our trip last year. I suddenly cried. Well, my tears kept on falling again.

And I was like “yeah, I was really hurt”. I thought I was over it. I thought it was in the past. I thought the pain has totally gone. But no, it’s not.

One thing is for sure though. The one who hurt me during that time didn’t even know how much pain s/he/they had caused me.

And that’s the worst too.

It is so easy to forgive and move forward with your life. It is easy to let what happened go and live your life the best way possible.

But healing takes time. The wound takes time to completely heal. And sometimes, something can trigger to make it painful again.

The only way to completely heal is to distance yourself from what’s giving you pain.

You will not go any closer to a dog when you were once bitten by it.

Sometimes, too much pain will lead to trauma.

On the other hand, minding your own business is a good thing. But being self-centered even if you hurt or not minding hurting other people is not good.

[joyofblogging]

I am bad with waiting.

You know why? Because I have no patience.

I want things to happen so fast. I want to see the results immediately.

That’s the very reason why I want to watch a K-Drama that complete episodes are available. So I can watch the last episode and see from there if I will like the series. Yes, it’s weird? But spoilers just work for me. It feeds my curiosity.

And the same thing with life. I want to see the fruit of everything that I have been doing. I am itching to be somewhere better. To have my life in a better place. To get what I want.

But life does not work that way? We always need to wait. We always need to be at our destination at the time that God has given us.

A friend even told me that I am hurrying up so much. And I guess he’s right. Because maybe I felt like I am in that age to be better especially financially.

But we all have our own timeline. God has created a timeline that is perfect for me and right for me. So I should wait with that.

While waiting, I am doing different stuff. A lot of stuff I must say. And I am continually learning about myself and life in general. So far it’s been fun!

I realized that waiting in life is like waiting a bus. You have to wait for the accurate bus to take you to your destination. If you are in a hurry, you might take the wrong bus number and you might go somewhere you’re not supposed to go. And the moment we took the wrong bus, the only way to still go to where our destination is to either go back to where we came from or take a detour, reroute. This may cost us more time but again, it is the only way to be where we should be.

So yeah! Still waiting here. Still praying. Still living life. I hope you too!😍

[joyofblogging]

This is my fave Seafood Cup Noodles. I first tried it in Japan last 2019 and since then, I like to buy it. There’s available in some grocery stores in Cebu and especially Landers.

During our recent trip, I never tried eating this one in Japan. Instead, my family especially my Papa has been eating this almost everyday. And he loved it too.

My sister bought only 2 pcs considering the stuff we had to bring back home. Our 4 checked-in luggage became 7. Haha

Today, I did eat the last cup. Kinda regretting why I didn’t buy more of it. Since it’s way cheaper in Japan.

But yeah! Maybe next time.😊

[joyofblogging]

One day…

I will thank them for hurting me

I will thank them for leaving me

I will thank them for wasting the love that I gave

I will thank them for making my life a mess.

Because when that day will come…

I am totally healed and happy

I am with someone who will always be with me

I will be living a peaceful and amazing life.

And I can’t thank them enough.

[joyofblogging]

I used to talk a lot. Then I just started to get silent.

I used to write a lot. Then sometimes I just thought maybe it’s best to delete them all.

I used to think about others a lot. Then I realized maybe it’s right to think of myself more.

I used to be an outgoing person. Then I just enjoyed being at home.

People really change. Either through the situation s/he is in. Or maybe because it’s part of her/him growing and maturing. Knowing what matters, doing what matters and be with who matters.

It is not bad. It is not selfish. Especially if it gives you joy and peace. 😊

[joyofblogging]

What changed?

Sometimes I wonder

What changed in me?

How did it even happen?

When that bubbly girl

Who used to laugh so loud

With all the gums out

Has suddenly changed.

Laughters became a little be silent

Laughing became a little be seldom

Laugh became a little bit narrower

What could have changed?

Is it the people she had met?

Is it the heartbreak she had been?

Is it the pandemic that made her isolated?

Or is it because she’s tired of everything?

Oh I wish she will be back

To whom she used to be

To hear her loud laugh again

To see her big smiles on drawn on her face.

One day…

When the world is a little bit better

When the people will treat her better

When the pain will finally over.

And until that day…

Give her her space

To breathe and to be her own

That’s how she’s going to be happy.

30/05/2023 09:56PM PHT

[joyofblogging]

It was the last night of the weekend

Everyone was soundly sleeping

In my makeshift bed, I kept on turning

Didn’t know why I still not sleeping.

Is it because it’s still not time?

But my head has already aching.

I prayed to God one thing

“Please get me into sleeping.”

Until I was able to sleep at 5 in the morning

Still my head has been throbbing

I didn’t know what I’m feeling

But suddenly I found myself crying.

Oh no! What happened?

Is it my anxiety coming again?

Don’t like this rollercoaster emotions

When you’re smiling then suddenly tears are falling.

And I think what they said is true

That those who are happy the most

Are hurt and get sad the worst

You just don’t know.

They look totally okay

Thus no one would ask how are they

But when they’re all alone

That’s when they feel they’re not that strong.

30.05.2023 12:55AM PHT

[joyofblogging]

Just some random thought while I’m about to get my 3-hr sleep.

Imagine that you have someone you love. But you got mad at her/him. You don’t want to talk. You just want to ignore.

What you will feel if suddenly s/he will be gone? With no words. Maybe the next day or while s/he is sleeping.

Will it make you happy? Or satisfied.

Or will it make your heart feel so heavy? Will you have regrets?

Sometimes we are too consumed of our emotions. That it is eating up our time. The time wasted for something unnecessary . And that time wasted is what we cannot take back.

Life is pretty unpredictable. You will never know what’s gonna happen next. No one knows until when you’ll breathe.

So as much as we want to spend our life to the fullest. Do whatever we want to or eat anything we crave for. Or be somewhere we dreamed of.

Hopefully we will also avoid wasting our time to unnecessary drama or emotions.

Let’s spend it wisely. So we have no regrets. Coz the worst regret is when its gone and we cannot do anything to take it back. 😉

[joyofblogging]

10 posts!!!