Jason & The Arkonauts

Jason Robert Ballard Former Editor in Chief of #ftmmagazine +++ Father, Husband, Brother, Son- Called to provide a Safe Space for Life on a 1-Acre Nation in the NorthEast coined an Ark Biome.

[jrballard]

Playing dominos with my baby- I have one of those now btw

[jrballard]

My friends fish tank. They gave me a tour the other day and I aspire to know the names of my trees like they knew the names of their fishies and plants

[katgecs]

Jamie Heiden

[jrballard]

[hopepunk-humanity]

I think winter teaches us to see beauty in hard places. It’s easy to find green trees and blooming flowers beautiful. And the turning of seasons in some ways teaches us to appreciate that fleeting beauty. But winter is beautiful too. She isn’t as forgiving, or vibrant, but there’s loveliness in clean snow-blanketed landscapes, in iced over ponds and barren trees. There’s beauty in hard places. Winter shows us that.

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

The Ballard System

So- I came back here awhile back when I was going through a particularly difficult time period. It would seem like everything good in my life that I have now was falling into place and that reacting in such a way that got me hospitalized was wild- But prior to this house and this family I'm building I'd lived in 39 different ones.

Houses, that is.

And when you hit that sand and slow down a lot of things come flying at you from the back seat. All the things you were speeding away from suddenly hit you in the head.

During my time trying to sort it all out I used a technique called #disassociating and I splintered into the pieces of myself that needing my attention and healing and much like with the Trans Community, I found other folks doing the same things and the ways I had organized them into entirely other people, or Alters, was showing up in other folks and their coping too.

So I leaned in, and I renamed my blog here, and let that time of my life have its time and serve its purpose.

I created this image as a visual representation of the men I saw inside myself, and once the traumatic points were all worked out and worked out, I started using them as an advantage and it's because of that that I'm still here- that I came back here- and that my life is the way it is these days.

So for as long as this venture holds my attention, I'll be cataloging my thoughts here once more.

[jrballard]

Last night I saw the word Tumblr and I thought I should come here and find all the photos of myself along my journey so I could save them from the same fate as those on my LiveJournal (RIP)...

I found a lot of them, from 2009-2011 was me at 22-24 and that kid was intense huh?

I saw myself going through a lot of things all at once.

I knew with hind-sight the moments where I was breaking, the times when I was focused on the wrong things, and a lot of posts that made me cringe at my ignorance and arrogance.

I wouldn't be who I am now without all of that, and I wouldn't be able to tell that without being able to look back on even the things that made me such a tool lol.

I'm glad to have the poetry and the transitional photos and the timeline of some events... And I forgive myself for the rest.

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

[jrballard]

[girlofdogs]

i like to think that our blogs are just our own little personal museums of all the things we like, and we can visit each other’s museums and leave nice notes at the reception.

[faustandfurious]

There's something strange and magical about rereading a book ten years after you read it for the first time, and discovering how certain details that you paid little attention to the first time, suddenly resonate with you in new ways, because you are older now, you have the experiences to make sense of what the author was saying all along. Read a book on grief in times of happiness, and it will be a piece of art. Read it after you have buried a loved one, and it will be a mirror.

[sunsetquotes]

You had to be that person to become this one.

Rupi Kaur (via sunsetquotes)