Okay twitter seemed to like that story so there you go, story time!
Letās start by the beginning. I hurt myself a lot for very stupid reasons and got sent to the ER of my city a lot during the past 15 years of my existence. Little examples: chipped hip on my 21st birthday because I was playing the childrenās game Cops & Robbers with my very much adult friends in a park at night, completely not sober, and missed a set of stairs while chasing my bff. Running straight into a wall for no other reason than me being a dumbass and having my teeth go back into my gum. Etc. That gives you an idea of the kind of explaining I had to do whenever Iād get to the ER.
So when I had my car accident a few days ago, I was brought to the ER in a stretcher, neck brace and all that stuff. I was taken care of by this cute young nurse, Alexandra, whom I felt like I had seen before. I asked her if we had met before and she said she just got out of Med school in the same city I was previously living in, and that we might have ran into each other during a party. All I wanted to do was think about something else than the crash I went through and she was really cute so we talked a lot more and, in my stretcher and neck brace, I managed to get her number.
Today we had a little lunch date during her break and the conversation was half her yelling at me for even being out of bed and not even putting bandages on my injuries, and the other half was her telling the most iconic stories she heard and participated to in the ER. I didnāt eat very much, let me tell you. But thatās where she started talking about this iconic story of a teenage girl some years ago, who apparently tried to kick open a glass door completely barefoot and ended up with a 2 inches/5 centimeters long glass piece in her ankle. The girl was losing blood too fast so they just did the stitching right away and didnāt bother with anesthesia, so of course she was screaming like a dying cow. The Mother of the girl was with her and, as the girl was passing her exams in her High School at the moment and was a real shit at Maths, she thought intelligent to make her daughter recite herĀ multiplication tables toĀ ādistract her from the painā. The girl was screaming all the wrong answers because, really, she was shit at Maths, which ended up in the Doctors laughing so hard they fucked up her stitches.
While this sweet little nurse was telling this tale she heard from older nurses, I was struggling not to die while choking on my drink.
Because you see, I still havenāt forgiven my Mom for making me recite my multiplication tables that one time in the ER while Doctors were laughing so hard at me they fucked up my ankle that now hurts whenever itās raining.
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