The Blog Where Writing Happens

My writing blog. Check out my main blog (mainly for reblogging) and Twitter! If you'd like me to answer an ask privately, please tell me! AO3 //Ko-Fi

[jubilantwriter]

How He Met His Carl

(Written for @voicesfortheblade's charity event! For prompter @sohrleas)

(AO3)

Summary:

Technoblade has lived a long, long life. Not as long as Philza, but long enough that he has stories to tell. And sometimes, he needs to share those stories to prove a point. For instance, Technoblade is a smart man. Everyone but a singular child seems to believe this, and since Tommy isn't quite an orphan he can dropkick in self-defense, he can at least for the kid to sit down for a little story. Like that time he was being held hostage by Dream. Now isn't THAT a story worth telling?

Word Count: 17274

Bonus Tags: Contains Dream Team; Kidnapped Technoblade; Based off a historical event; Technoblade & Philza are Best Friends; Avian Philza; Dubiously Human(?) Technoblade; Influenced by The Princess Bride Movie/Book; Implied DreamNotFound; Hostage Situation; Manipulation

----

"Techno- Techno!  Tech- BIG T!  Wait!  Sto- AHHHH!"  Tommy shrieks as he barely manages to block a strike from the hulking, pink-haired figure looming before him.  Technoblade merely laughs, swinging down his blade again against the blond's own sword.

"C'mooon, Tommy!  What's a bit of sparring between friends?  You asked me to train you!"

"When I asked you to- AHH!  When I asked you to train me, I thought you'd go easier on- STOP IT!  EASIER ON ME!" 

Another clash of their blades.  A pause.  "Would I really go easy on you?  Would I really?"

At that, Tommy also pauses.  He grimaces briefly and starts laughing nervously.  "I guess you would- no.  Not really."

"Exactly.  You know me so well."  With that, Technoblade flicks his wrist up, catching the edge of Tommy's blade with his own and swiftly disarming the teen.  The simple sword goes flying in the air before clattering nearby.  Technoblade points his sword at Tommy's throat, a wry grin on his face as the boy stares down the point of it.  "If you wish to defeat me, train for another one hundred years."

"Oh come on, big man!  You know that's exactly why I asked you to train me!"

"And that's why I said you gotta train more."  Technoblade sheathes his sword and offers Tommy a hand.  The younger boy takes it begrudgingly and grumbles as Technoblade easily pulls him back to his feet.  "I can't just go easy on you and expect you to get better if I'm only using 0.000005% of my fighting power."

"Fuck you, bitch," Tommy spits out halfheartedly.  "I bet if we stripped away all your strength and dumb- fighting- whatever skills you got, you'd be just as powerless as any other person!"

"You trying to tell me that I'm nothing more than some meathead thug?"  Technoblade stretches as the poor insult rolls off his back.  "First of all, bruuuuh.  Just because I quit my schooling to pursue a fighting career doesn't make me stupid all of a sudden.  And secondly," Technoblade grins as he jabs his thumb behind him, pointing to a tree they can rest under, "you really are underestimating me if you think I'm all brawn and nothing else."

"But fighting is what you're known for!  It's all anyone knows you for!  That, and, well, potatoes, but that's like.  That's just a weird character trait thing you got going on.  Like, who in their right mind would spend months and months farming potatoes just to one-up the other local potato weirdo?"  Despite his little tirade, he follows Technoblade to the tree, gesturing wildly as he continues to ramble.  "It's you.  You're the weirdo bitch mucking about going oh boy I sure would like me some potatoes right about now and then you go to your potato basement filled with so many potatoes and go hmm, not enough.  Plenty weird of you, one might say."

"Dude, why are you going after me and potatoes?  What have my potatoes ever done to you?"  Technoblade gives Tommy a baffled look as he rests his sword against the tree trunk.

"Well, maybe one would get tired of eating potatoes and steak every goddamn meal!  Y'know, you're just as bad as- as Philza with him and those avocado toasts he loves so much.  Like, do either of you eat anything else ever?!"

"I like potatoes, and steaks fill you up and give you energy.  Phil is the same way with his avocado toasts.  It's good for you!"

"Technoblade, I am dying of eating the same things over and over again.  You two literally have the worst diets in the entire world!"

"Please."  Technoblade rolls his eyes as Tommy plops down beside him with a huff.  "Better than you horfing down all my golden apples."

"You give me no choice!"  Tommy shrieks loudly.  Despite the proximity, Technoblade doesn't flinch.  "It's either the gapples or potatoes and steak, and I am picking the gapples every time."

"You're paying me back for every apple you ate, by the way."

"You can't-!"  Tommy is about to protest when he sees Technoblade's hand land on his sword's grip.  "You can't- uh, um, haha!  Of course you can, of course you can..."  The teen continues to chuckle nervously as Technoblade relaxes, nearly missing how the teen's eyes comically get wide as the blond immediately turns back to the older man and jab him squarely in the chest.  "WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!"

"Dude."

"There you go again!  Being all, all strong and scary and threatening!  Showing off your stupid killing skills to make me listen to you!"

"And it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah- well- fuck off!  That's not the point!"

"What's the point then, Tommy?"  Technoblade rifles through his pouch and pulls out a baked potato.  He proceeds to munch on it, ignoring Tommy's look of disgust.  "Want some?"

"No.  I- what?  You just- whatever."  Tommy shakes his head.  "My point is that all you ever do is be a brute!  And it's all you ever are!"

"Well," drawls Technoblade, finishing off his snack, "apparently I'm also a potato weirdo."

"That too."  Tommy nods his head before shaking it again.  "But that's not what I'm trying to say!  I've never seen you be anything else but a brute!  It's like- that's all you ever are!  Everyone around me keeps saying ohhh Technoblade is so smart or ohhh Technoblade is so big brained and let me just say.  Never once have I seen you pick up a book."

Technoblade laughs at that.  "What does that have anything to do with anything?"

"It means you're not as book smart as everyone says you are!  See?  See?!  The fact I have to explain myself to you says a lot about your intellect, or lack OF it!"

"I should find it insulting that you genuinely think I'm not smart, but I'll be honest.  I just think that you can't fully comprehend the scope of my intellect, and that's not your fault."  Technoblade ignores Tommy's indignant squawk as he stands up dramatically and moves in front of Tommy.

"What is this?  What are you-"  Tommy gestures to Technoblade's whole posture.

"Let me tell you a story, Tommy."  Technoblade steamrolls past Tommy's words, his own hand gesturing minutely as speaks.  "It's a story you haven't heard yet, because you were probably a baby when this happened."

"Okay but do you have to stand up to tell it?  You've told me plenty of stories before like a normal person, and not once have you had to stand up to tell them."

"Well, this one is, ehhh, a little different, I would say."  Technoblade grins as he continues to talk.  "This isn't like those times of me telling you the story of Theseus.  No, this one is more personal.  More... longer.  And because it's longer, I have to sorta do two things at once or else I go off on some tangent and- you, you get it right?  Right?"  

"Ohh, right right, yeah."  Tommy nods in understanding.  "Yeah, you tend to get distracted sometimes.  Like that one time with the wood."

Technoblade claps his hands.  "Exactly!  So, let me do my thing, and hopefully, the two of us can lock in and get to the end of it in no time.  That being said," Technoblade begins to pace slowly in front of Tommy, the movement keeping Tommy focused on him, "I am not an infallible man.  Neither is Phil, for that matter.  And once, when the Antarctic Empire was still very, very young..."  Technoblade stops and turns to face the blond.

"Once, the two of us were-"

"Wait, the Antarctic Empire?  Didn't that shit fall like, ages ago?"

"Tommy- Tommy.  One, you ruined the mood.  Two, you ruined the transition-"

"Oh my bad."

"And three, it was not ages ago.  It was like... years ago but it wasn't ages.  That makes me and Phil sound old, and only Phil is the old one."

"Right, right."  Tommy waves his hand dismissively as Technoblade rolls his eyes.  "Anyways, you were saying?"

Technoblade takes a deep breath in.  "Right, so, back when the Antarctic Empire was still in its infancy, a certain someone saw our slowly growing empire as a bit of a threat.  And.  Well.  Let's just say..."

Technoblade pauses before throwing Tommy a sharp grin.

"Let's just say that Phil and I found ourselves in... a bit of a pickle."

...

When Technoblade came to, the first thing he noticed was the feel of a small, burlap bag over his head.  The second thing he noticed were his hands tied behind his back.  Both facts were inconvenient at best, but it was something he could work with.  He searches his brain to recall the last thing that happened to him.

He and Philza were out on horseback, wanting to explore further past the boundaries of their slowly growing commune.  It was clear to the two of them that with more people beginning to find stability in the tundra, that small handful of people could easily explode in growth as they found more stable sources of food and resources.  During that last expedition, Technoblade had the sense that they were being followed.  Philza noticed too, and the two of them had shared a look before trying to shake off whoever was following them.

The two of them were woefully, embarrassingly unprepared.  It was only meant to be a short expedition, so they packed the bare minimum with the intent to return home before dusk.  He can still recall Philza's muttered curse when the sounds of approaching horses grew close too quickly for them to flee.  They had no weapons - why would they?  No one else ventured out to the tundra willingly, and there was no need to worry about the creatures of the night when they were going to be at home before nightfall.

Trying to fight would be nothing short of a pointless, useless struggle that would result in more wounds than it was worth.  The look they shared before surrendering was the last thing he can recall before their pursuers evidently knocked the two of them out.  How annoying.

Technoblade bites back the instinctive annoyed grumble and instead focuses on his surroundings.  He taps his foot down against the flooring and hears the telltale sound of wood.  A room?  Too early to say.  

"Hey," he hears a voice say, "looks like he's awake."

"Just one of them?"

"I dunno."

Okay, he hears two different voices.  At least two other people are in the same area as him.  Judging by that short conversation, it sounds like Philza might be in the same place as him as well.  He listens more closely, trying to get a better idea of his surroundings besides "wood" and "two potential kidnappers".

The distinct sound of horse hooves rhythmically galloping catches his attention first.  It sounds like it's coming from outside, which confirms two things for Technoblade.  One, they're inside something wooden.  Two, the horses are pulling them along somewhere.  Are they in a covered cart?  He doubts they would waste time dragging hostages into a fancy carriage.  Unless it was to flaunt.  In which case, they have poor manners and must be some kind of wealthy jerk.  Duly noted.

"Hey," he calls out, not respecting his captors enough to care about the situation he's in.  "Are we there yet?"

A snicker comes from his side - a familiar one.  He nudges the person next to him, receiving a playful nudge back.  Philza.  Out of the goodness of their hearts, their captors left them side by side.  A poor decision but one Technoblade can take advantage of... by letting it slide.  For now.

"Be quiet!"

"I mean... you kinda kidnapped and blindfolded us.  It's not like I can tell if we're there or not."

"Pipe down anyways.  We'll let you know when we get there."  

"Alright, alright.  I was just asking."  Technoblade nudges Philza again.  "Hullooo."

"Hey, mate," Philza whispers.  "You reckon they know who they're dealing with?"

A loud shushing noise comes from their captors, making Philza snicker again.  

"Nah," Technoblade answers.  "If they did, we wouldn't be awake yet."

"Hmm," comes Philza's thoughtful response.  "True."

"God, aren't you guys hostages?"  A third voice chimes in now, sounding thoroughly frustrated.  "At least act like we're a threat."

"For your ego?  Sure."  Technoblade feigns a terrible tremble in his voice.  "Oh no!  Phil, we've been captured.  Whatever shall we do?"

"Oh no, I suppose we ought to beg and plead for our lives," Philza responds in a deadpan.

"Haha, very funny."  The galloping comes to an abrupt halt, sending Technoblade careening into Philza and nearly smushing the shorter man under his weight.  The two other voices from earlier are also grumbling their complaints; clearly, they too were unaware of the sudden stop.  "Well, here we are!  Sapnap, George, could you please pull off the blindfolds and escort our hostages out?"

Before he can apologize to Philza, the blindfold is pulled off Technoblade's face.  He blinks blearily in the sudden light before a strangled, "Mate..." gets his attention and he leans off of Philza quickly.

"Sorry, sorry."

"It's alright."  Philza himself straightens up and has the blindfold removed.  It's then that Technoblade has a moment to notice Philza's wings bound tightly to his back.  He frowns as Philza blinks in the light and looks around.  

Right.  They're kidnapped, and he should probably take stock of their surroundings now that he has another sense available to him.  Technoblade quickly follows suit and whistles at what he sees.

Well. He be darned.  These guys really were flaunting.  The carriage they found themselves in was wooden, like he assumed, but the seating was not.  Soft cushions adorned the seats directly facing each other, and thick, fabric blinds were pulled and tied to the side, letting in light through the lattice windows.  Looking up revealed the wooden roof of the carriage, the underside flat and not at all revealing the arched wooden frames he was expecting.  He looked down at the ground and wondered if there was a compartment beneath their feet to hide supplies.  Or was it under their seats?  He's never ridden in a fancy carriage before-

"Get up."  One of the earlier voices speaks to him, and Technoblade remembers oh right, they have captors.  He directs his attention to the men in front of them.  The one across from Technoblade wore a black tunic that matched his hair and a white surcoat tied together with a girdle around his waist.  Oddly enough, he wore a white bandanna around his forehead, the ends of it trailing behind his head.  The raven-haired man gestures for Technoblade to stand up, to which Technoblade refuses.

"And who's to say I won't just run off the minute I get the chance?  You guys tied my hands behind my back.  'Snot like you got anything to keep me tied to you.  Unless you want me to walk backwards, which, might I say, will be awkward for everyone here."  The bandanna man narrows his eyes at Technoblade before turning to the man beside him.  "George."

The brunet - or George, in this case - wore a similar outfit with the colors being different - he wore a white tunic under a light blue surcoat.  Instead of a bandanna, he wore large eyeglasses with large, white frames surrounding the lenses.  And unlike the bandanna man, he pulls out a dagger and quickly holds it under Philza's neck.  The point of it presses into flesh, drawing a slowly beading drop of blood.  Despite his position, Philza glowers at George.  

Technoblade bites back a growl and stares unimpressed at bandanna man.  "Alright."  He stands up and follows after the bandanna man, stopping briefly to look back on Philza.  The blond nods back carefully and Technoblade continues out the carriage door, fist clenched tightly as he walks out into the sunlight.  Not a moment later, Philza is by his side again, but before either of them can react, swords are drawn at their necks.  Philza makes a disgruntled noise when a different blade touches his neck and Technoblade can only sigh in agreement.

What.  A.  Pain.

"I would say sorry for the treatment, but you guys are our hostages, so."  The third voice from before steps out in front of them.  Clad in a white tunic and green surcoat stood a... presumably young man with brown hair.  He sounded about Technoblade's age at least, although the painted, carved mask does more to give away his identity than hide it.  The furred collar of his green cape and golden chains that adorned his clothing only served more to solidify Technoblade's guess of who his captor was.

"Ain't it kinda warm in this area to be wearing furred clothing..."  Technoblade's red eyes bore directly into the eyes of his captor's mask, the name sliding off his tongue like bile.  "...Dream?"

["DREAM?!"   Tommy shrieks loudly, making Technoblade grimace and pause his story.

"Yes.  Dream."

"You mean THAT Dream?!  The once greatest speedster in all the land?!  The man who could fight off and escape from an entire army by his lonesome?!  The one who was rising in power and conquered other kingdoms before his downfall in-"

"Yes, that Dream."  Technoblade rubs his temples.  "You know, you're pulling a real The Princess Bride moment on me."

"Haven't a clue what that means," Tommy answers blankly.  "You know, I actually MET Dream before whilst on the road.  Mean bitch, that one.  Thought he was a friend, but then he went and destroyed all my shit for no goddamn reason!  And I was but a wee lad!"

"Yeah uh, turns out rich and powerful people don't like to suddenly lose all those riches and power."  Technoblade shrugs.  "Pretty sure he's homeless now, but he refuses to admit it every time I see him."

"Yeah... wait, what-?"

"A-n-y-ways, back to the story!"

"Wait-"]

"The one and only."  Dream gestures to himself before bowing regally.  "And I'm sure you've become acquainted with Sapnap and George by now."

"That's one way to put it," grouses Philza.  "Any particular reason you're after us?  It's awful hot here, and unlike you, we actually dress for practicality."

"Yeah, these furs aren't for show."  He rolls his shoulders, making who he now knows as Sapnap grumble from his movement.  The sword presses closer to his throat, but he knows a captor wouldn't go through the trouble of keeping them alive for this long just to kill them off once the ride was over.  "I bet those dead foxes really appreciate ya wearing them around your neck under the sun."

"First of all, they're not foxes - they're uh, lemmings."  Despite his correction, Dream doesn't look too sure of himself.

"Man doesn't even know his own furs - talk about weak game, huh, Phil?"

As Philza responds with a cackle, Dream crosses his arms petulantly.  "Listen, we don't have time to be discussing furs or whatever."  With a spin of his heel, Dream marches forward.  Sapnap and George push Technoblade and Philza forward, the blades digging into their necks as they carefully match pace with the two captors behind them.  Dream doesn't bother to spare a glance behind him as he throws his arms out grandly to the mansion slowly coming into view.  "Welcome... to my humble abode."

Green and white banners decorated the stone walls before them as a gate was pulled up to let them in.  They walk over a wooden bridge overlooking a moat with what Technoblade could only assume was filled with fish.  Dream looked like the kind of guy to pretend to have a scary reptile lurking beneath the murky waters.  An all bark and enough bite to feel overconfident about it kind of guy.  Technoblade shared a look with Philza.  Which begged the question, why them?

"So," Technoblade begins, "going to throw us in the dungeon?"

"Oh, no, not really."  Dream leads them into a larger foyer with covered walls of tapestries and even more banners.  "I mean, you are our hostages, don't get me wrong, but it'd be a waste to drop you both in the dungeons.  And besides, this place is impossible to escape from."  The sound of a gate dropping closed emphasizes his point.  Technoblade looks around some more, eyeing the few passages he can see.  He assumed that a mansion of this size would have an extensive network of hallways, but it was mainly just one large, open space filled with comfortable looking couches, fancy little side tables, and a grand staircase leading upstairs.  Of course, there were the aforementioned hallways, but they branched off closer to the staircase.  He could spy just four separate hallways, but it was a guess as to how far they actually went.

Just like the rest of Dream, most of the mansion was all for show.

"So why go through the trouble of kidnapping us then?"  Philza speaks up, his eyes narrowed as he watches Dream closely.

"Well, I heard your little commune was starting to get... big."  Dream gestures to some nearby seats and lets the pair sit down.  Once seated, the swords finally drop from their necks, but Sapnap and George still remain standing by their sides.  "And I figured it wouldn't hurt to kill two birds with one stone."

"In what way?"  

"I wanted to show the other neighboring territories what would happen if they got a little too confident with their growing power."

"So you're making an example of us," Technoblade states, unimpressed.  "Even though we didn't do anything to you."

"Oh, just the existence of your commune is a threat to me.  Out of everyone else on this land, I hold the most power, and I intend to keep it."  Dream steeples his fingers together as he leans forward.  "But... I also realized that I could do more than just make an example of you two.  I could offer you two a deal."

"A deal?"  Philza is skeptical.  "Hardly think it'll be a fair one given our circumstances."

"Ha, true!"  Dream chuckles to himself.  "But I think it's fair enough.  Instead of razing your land to the ground and starting a war you two will surely lose, why not just... become a part of my territory?  The Arctic Commune can have access to food and supplies all year round, and I don't have to worry about you growing too big to be a threat when you're already a part of my soon to be kingdom.  Sounds pretty fair, don't you think?"

Technoblade shares a look with Philza before looking back at Dream.  "Ehhh, I dunno, Dream.  Sounds like we're giving up our freedom here.  I mean... we're up in the mountains.  Basically tundra if you keep going north.  We don't really have much to offer."

"But you do.  You have people.  A community.  Land that you two control and maintain."

"Control is a strong word-"

"And I've heard that one of you," he points to Technoblade and then to Philza, "happens to be one of the land's greatest warrior ever."

The wording catches Technoblade's attention, and he's sure Philza does as well judging by how the winged man straightens up.  Philza speaks up smoothly, his voice betraying nothing as he asks: "And which of us is it?"

"Obviously, it's him."  Dream points to Technoblade with a clear sneer in his voice.  "And you're the master builder between the two of you.  A dream team, some would say."  Dream laughs at his own joke as Sapnap groans and George makes a halfhearted chuckle.  "...Anyways."  The man clears his throat, a curled hand moving up to the mask's painted on smile.  It's almost as if he treats the mask as his own face.

Noted.

"So I'm guessing that makes us useful to you, which is why you won't kill us.  But also why you kidnapped us."  Technoblade drawls out his words to feign his boredom, his mind racing to find a way out of their situation.  It wasn't bad, but it definitely wasn't great.  And their people would be needing them back soon.

...At least one of them back.

"Exactly!  Sapnap and George are my greatest warriors, clearly, but I can't raise an army with just two other people.  I need more allies.  Friends."  He leans forward towards the pair, making them both lean back into the cushions.  "So I would like to propose a deal."

"A deal?"  Philza frowns.  "What sort of deal?"

"Your little commune joins my soon-to-be country, and I can grant you both lord status to keep control of your little territory, so long as it ensures you don't fight against me."

"Annnd you get to reap the benefits of our people's hard work."  Technoblade rolls his eyes.  "Can you believe this guy, Phil?  He wants do lame things like 'tax people' and 'kidnap leader-like individuals for clout'."

"He's already got one of those things down pat."

"Right?"

"Hey-HEY!  That's not- I didn't say any of that!"  Dream shakes his head defensively.  "Look, all I'm saying is that you merge your territory with mine, and your people stay safe.  Doesn't that sound good?  Wouldn't you want that?  For your people to be safe?  It can't be easy for them living out in the freezing cold all the time."

That does sound nice.  It was something he and Philza were working towards this entire time.  It was why they were interested in expanding their territory in the first place - sure, the freezing tundra kept people out, but it also kept their people in.  They needed to spread out more, and the cover the trees provided from the elements was more than ideal.  But of course, exploring the evergreen forest was what got them captured in the first place.  Pros and cons, he supposes.

"Can we think on it?"  Philza answers Dream first, seeing Technoblade lost in his thoughts over Dream's words.  "Give us the night to figure it out."

"Preferably not tied up."  Technoblade rolls his shoulders to emphasize the uncomfortable position he and Philza have been in the entire time.  "Y'know, maybe give us some real time positives to this situation.  Kinda hard for us to say yes to you when we're literally hostages."

Dream tilts his head to the side.  "I didn't think I gave you a choice?"

"And taking away our ability to choose will surely work out long term for you," he responds sarcastically.  "Surely forcing people to say yes has worked out so well before in history.  I bet all those rebellions were led by people who didn't have their ability to choose taken away from them."  Technoblade leans back into the seat and mirrors Dream's head tilt.  "I mean, c'mon, you want more friends, right?"

"Allies."

"Same thing in the end," he lies.  "Better to have us want to say yes than to force us, right?"

Dream goes silent at that.  There's a shuffle from behind Technoblade, and then a voice speaks up.

"Dream..." Sapnap says slowly, "I don't like where this is going."

"Yeah."  George speaks up.  "They're our hostages, aren't they?  They shouldn't get to make demands."

"Guys, you trust me, don't you?"  Dream questions the two behind Technoblade and Philza.  "You're not going to start doubting me now, are you?"

It sounded less like a concern and more of a scoff.  Confident.  Overly so.  This was something Technoblade could work with.  

"Well, yes."  George speaks with a bit of hesitance despite his words.  

"Of course we trust you."  Sapnap quickly picks up the conversation, either to hide George's hesitance or prove he's the more trusting of the two, Technoblade could hardly tell.  "We just want to make sure these two don't pull anything."

"That's fair," Dream agrees, "but they do make a good point."

"No, they don't," Sapnap argues.

"Yes, they do."  Dream stands up from his seat.  "You said you trusted me, right?  So trust me, right now."

Sapnap falls silent, but George sighs wearily.  "Alright," he says simply, "we'll trust you."

"As always."  The disgruntled tone isn't missed by Technoblade, but Dream seems pleased by the responses nonetheless.

"Excellent.  Now, cut off their bonds.  We're going to lead them to their new rooms."

Not a second is wasted as their bonds are finally removed.  Technoblade rubs his wrists and looks over to Philza to see him doing the same.  The only difference was that-

"Hey."  Technoblade fights to keep the irritation out of his voice.  "Why are his wings still bound up?"

"Well, I can't risk him flying away all of a sudden.  And besides, you should be grateful that I allowed your wrists to be free."

"Oh, sure."  The biting sarcasm returns to his voice.  "Because removing the cuffs is enough to make us think we're-"

"Tech."  Philza puts a hand on Technoblade's arm.  "It's fine.  I'll make do."

Technoblade searches Philza's expression and finds only the calm confidence he always holds.  He relents with a sigh, crossing his arms with a frown.  "Alright.  Fine."

"Great!"  Dream claps his hands together to get their attention.  "Now if you would follow me..."

Dream leads them down one of the four hallways off the side of the staircase.  He mentions something about how the second floor is off limits to "guests", which was what they were now, Technoblade supposes.  However, the first floor was free game.  He gave them a brief rundown of what to expect on the first floor: a meeting room, the kitchen and dining area, a hallway of guest rooms (their destination), and the gallery.  Somewhere, there was supposedly a door that led to the garden area, but they wouldn't be allowed out there.  

Technoblade and Philza had the honor of sharing one room.  "It has two beds," Dream explained, "so it shouldn't be an issue."

"Gee, thanks."  

"Of course."  Dream nods as he's flanked by George and Sapnap.  "We can talk again over dinner.  Sound good?"

"Sure," Philza responds dryly.  "That'll be enough time to make a life changing decision."

"Glad to hear it."  With that, Dream closes the door and a following click is heard from behind it.

"Cool, it locks from the outside."  Technoblade sighs dramatically and sits on the bed he now claimed as his own.  It's softer than the one in his own cottage.  He presses a hand down on the bedding, watching as the imprint he leaves slowly fills itself back in.  

"Welp, at least we know we have some privacy."  Philza sits down on his own bed and rolls his shoulders uncomfortably.  Technoblade stares at his bound wings again before getting up and searching the room.  "What're you looking for, mate?"

"Something to cut off those ropes," he mutters, digging through the bedside tables and the one lone desk.  Every drawer he pulls open is empty.  Not even a letter opening knife can be found anywhere.  Where are the amenities?  "He kinda sucks as a host."

"Agreed," Philza chuckles.  "So stop searching.  There's no point in it."

"Frankly, I'd like to find a point somewhere.  Preferably one that's sharp and comes with a blade."

"Nah, I know what you're thinking.  I suggest you leave it."

"And just leave your wings bound up like that?  Phil, I hate seeing you like this."

"I know," Philza soothes, "but I think we should stay in his good graces for now.  Leave the bindings, I'll manage."

Technoblade gives up the search and plops back down on his bed, semi-defeated.  He shrugs off the heavy furs he had been wearing before they were kidnapped and watches it fall to the floor.  Philza manages the same, and they both sit in silence, taking in the situation they find themselves in.  

Dream wants them alive.  To be his pawns in his grab for power.  That would mean leaving the people who trusted them in the hands of a man who was too rich to care about the individual lives he was controlling.  It was headache inducing, to say the least.  Maybe if they had left properly prepared for a fight, none of this would have happened.  But they didn't think someone would want land buried in the tundra.  Heck, Technoblade didn't even think they were even known.  When Philza and him founded the settlement deep in the mountains, the intention was to live a quiet life until they were strong enough to fend for themselves.  It was cold and quiet in the mountains, and the people who chose to stay with them liked it like that.  Technoblade wasn't much of a builder, but he was proud of the small homes they all made together.  He liked having a group of people he could trust and protect.  He liked the community they built together.

And he knew the peace wouldn't last forever, obviously.  But he could enjoy it with his best friend for as long as possible, before the calls of war brought them back onto the battlefield.  It was why he hung up his blade to rest.  It was why he picked up the hoe instead.  And it was why he chose to pack for a brief journey instead of a long one.  He was still in the process of tilling more land, to see what could grow in the icy land he called home.  He had plans today, and Dream just came and ruined it all.

Absolutely annoying.

"So," Philza begins, breaking past his thoughts, "what next?"

Technoblade blinks slowly.  "What next, huh?"

"Yeah, I know you've got something rolling around in your head.  Only a matter of time before you decide to spit it out and tell me."

"Hm."

What next?  He thinks back to Dream saying that only one of them was a good warrior, and how he confidently said it was Technoblade.  Granted, he wasn't completely wrong, but Technoblade could play it into his favor.  He looks around the room they're in, beautifully decorated but that's it.  In reality, it was completely sparse and only had decorations to please the eye.  It reminds him of the huge foyer they were in.  All looks and glam, but barely any substance in it.  

Dream was trying to find his footing in all the power he supposes he has.  In order to do that, he needed help from people who actually had an idea of what they were doing.  He wanted to take all the credit in the group project without doing all the work.  So he needed a master builder and a competent warrior on his team.  Technoblade looks around the gaudy room that only held the barest of minimums.  

"He doesn't need a builder right now."  

"No, he does not."  Philza looks around the room.  "I mean, I'd hope not.  This mansion looks pretty finished.  And granted, it does look nice."

"But it lacks substance."

"Sure."

"Paper, pens, things to actually make it a room to stay in."

"Right."

"But those are all details he doesn't care for.  Things he doesn't notice."  Technoblade turns to Philza, a smirk already growing on his face.  "He's got the surface level stuff done, but he's missing the obvious details."

"Hmm."  Philza makes a small hum as he smiles.  "Yup.  He sure does."

Dream doesn't know about the Angel of Death.  That's great.

"He doesn't need a builder right now."

"No, he does not."

"But he'd want insurance.  Something to guarantee no one attacks him."

"So he'd want to keep the strongest warrior, not the builder."  Philza nods along.  "Alright, sure.  But then what?"

"Well, you go home.  Do what needs to be done."  Technoblade goes back to examining the room.  "We'll say, oh well our people need one of their 'leaders' back home or else they'll 'freeze to death'.  And if he wants to stay on our good side, he'll agree.  With the caveat that I stay."

"As insurance."

"He keeps the strongest man.  He feels safe."

"And then what?"  Philza's tone makes Technoblade look back at his old friend, and he sees the concern clear as day in his blue eyes.  "You stay, I go.  But then what?  What about you?"

"Ehhh, I'll figure it out on the fly.  The last thing I want is to fight a battle empty handed."  He pushes some stray hairs back against his head, frowning at how the loose hairs fall back into his eyes.  He'll need to fix his braid.  It's probably a mess back there.  "I need to gain his trust a bit.  Make him think it's possible to negotiate while you're back home."

"You want me to prep."

"I trust you'll know what to do."

"Always."  Still, Philza looks unsure.  "But what about you, mate?  Will you be alright?"

"Do you really think so little of me?"  Technoblade grins, his canines revealing themselves to Philza.  

Philza snorts and shakes his head.  "Not like that, but you really make me question my age sometimes."

"That's what happens when you're an old, old man."

"Being old has its benefits.  Apparently, you can get forgotten in history despite making history, and then you end up kidnapped and mistaken for a simple builder instead."

"Is that a benefit?"

"In this case, yes."  Philza grins brightly before sobering up.  "If this works, I want you to promise me that you'll stay safe, alright?"

"Again, you doubt my ability to survive?"

"I doubt your ability to stay out of trouble, mate."  Philza looks serious as he holds Technoblade's gaze.  "Just promise me that if things go south, you’ll find your way out."

"That's gonna be my plan in the end game anyways."  Still, he nods for Philza's sake.  "But yeah, I promise.  You go, I'll stall.  And when the chance comes to escape, I'll take it."

"...Good."  

Before they can discuss anything else, the sound of a-

["Wait, hold up."  Tommy interrupts Technoblade, dragging him to a sudden halt.  "What do you mean, stall?"

"That was my plan, Tommy."  He tosses his braid over his shoulder after his constant pacing and moving had it meander its way onto his shoulder.  "Anyways-"

"Nononono."  Tommy shakes his head in disbelief.  "You can't mean to tell me that your master plan was just to stall."

"...Yes?  Do you find an issue with that?"

"Yes!"  Tommy throws his hands up in the air.  "This whole time, I had to sit through you going on and on about those stupid politics talks with Dream, and I thought oh boy, here's the gonna be the grand reveal where Technoblade shows off how supposedly big brained he is, but instead your plan is to just.  Stall?"

"Why yes, yes that was my big master plan."

"That's not big brained!  That's- that's just STALLING!"

"Ah ah ah."  Technoblade wags his finger at Tommy, the boy making a petulant face at the treatment.  "You make it sound like stalling isn't an art form in of itself.  It's how you stall that matters."  Technoblade begins pacing again, making Tommy groan as he leans his head back to hit his head against the tree.  "Take, for example, a bad stall.  You make up stuff on the spot to distract someone, but it only lasts a few minutes, maybe an hour if you're lucky.  That's an ehhh stall.  A 'this will do' kinda stall.  But a good stall?  That can last for however long you want it to last.  That takes skill.  That takes brains."

"Yeah yeah big man, you love to waste people's time as a hobby, we get it."  Tommy waves a hand dismissively.  "I don't get how stalling is supposed to one-up Dream.  Like, you're a brute.  Why not just beat him in a fight?"

"Well, for one, I didn't have any weapons, and I doubt Dream would give me any sort of weapon if he knew of my skill.  He wouldn't put himself in that position."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense."  Tommy pouts at the lack of action.  "Ah damn, the rest of this story is gonna be mad boring then."

"Tommy, c'mon, you really think I'd be forcing you to sit through a boring story?"

"For fun?  Yeah."

"Okay yeah but- but!  This is different.  There's something to learn from this."

"And what's that?"

Technoblade grins as Tommy groans again.  "As the great Sun Tzu once said-"

"Not this bullshit again-"

"Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."]

The door unlocks and Dream opens the door, smiling mask greeting them both as he-

["Stop stop stop stop stop."

"Heh?"

Tommy holds up a hand.  "If I have to hear another so-called word from Dream, I am going to literally explode.  I did not get sat down just to hear you spit out whatever nonsense that green fuck said!  I've got other things to do, Techno.  Get on with it!"

"Now you're just being rude."

"We don't have all day, Big T!"

"Fine fine.  So Dream takes us to his dining room for dinner and-"

"Can we skip the politics talk too while we're at it."

"But it's interesting stuff!  I kiss up to him and lean into the fact that I know more than he does, but he doesn't catch on to it, and I say a bunch of stuff, and Philza pretends he's just a builder to convince Dream even more, and the dude relents and lets Phil go since I promised him I'd spend more time thinking about saying 'yes' to him."

"You see that?"  Tommy claps his hands and shoots double fingerguns at Technoblade.  "That was great.  You fucking summarized that mess of a dinner and now we can move on to the good stuff, yeah?"

"But it ruins the narrative flow-"

"Big T, once again, we do not have all day and I would really like to imagine that when you finish this story, we'll be able to go back and have a nice dinner of not steak, not potatoes, and not avocado toast.  In fact, not talking about your dinner with Dream seems like a splendid idea for my stomach, and yours."

Technoblade releases a long, aggrieved sigh.  "Fine.  Whatever you want, Tommy.  I'll just skip to 'the good bits' you want to get to, without all the tension."

"Yeah, you do that."  Tommy smiles blissfully.  "Now I don't have to get jealous over the normal ass dinner Dream gave you that I'll never get.  Because all we have are steak, potatoes, and avocado toast."

"I'll elect to ignore that."  Technoblade clears his throat and takes a minute to collect himself.  "So, after Dream agreed to let Phil go, he cut off Phil's bindings and freed his wings.  Phil and I said our goodbyes, and I watched him fly off into the night sky.  I had the room all to myself that night, which was probably not what Dream had intended, but a lot of things would just continue to not be in his favor.  And so began the next part of my master plan.

"The stall."]

It's been about a week since Philza was allowed to leave.  The avian had whispered for Technoblade to keep out of trouble, at least, just for a while.  The message was clear in his jest.  Even if Dream and his goons overheard the whisper, they would take it as another more than a tease.  It was a good thing he was Philza's best friend, and not these three.

This left Technoblade wandering the halls of the mansion, oddly free to do as he pleased for the past week.  Granted, he was always followed by Sapnap or George (well, mainly Sapnap), but that worked more in his favor than Dream would have realized.  Sapnap was the one following him today, as he tended to do most days while George slept the day away.  Something about being the night watch for Technoblade.  

"You know," Sapnap speaks up from behind Technoblade, the two of them wandering the mansion's hallways for the umpteenth time, "I would have figured you've memorized these halls by now."

"What, 'cause I've been doing nothing but walk laps around this place?"  Technoblade pauses in front of a landscape painting.  The hallway he was "exploring" happened to be a gallery of sorts.  A place where Dream seemed to put down works of art and trophies from adventures and escapades.  He spent a lot of time here, admiring the art and examining the various treasures the man had on display.  It was better than staring at a wall all day, that's for sure.

"If you're planning an escape, it won't work."  Technoblade could just imagine the bandanna-wearing man crossing his arms behind him.  "This place is locked up pretty tight."

"Me?  Escape?  Outrageous."  He moves onto the next treasure, this one looking like a bejeweled crown.  Ohh, nice.  "Nah, I'm just tryna become a human map.  Soon enough, I'll be able to walk from room to room with my eyes closed.  Heck, I'm pretty sure I can figure out which room you were in just from the description of it."

"Oh yeah?"  A challenging lilt to Sapnap's voice.  "Alright, then tell me how you would get from the dining room to the library."

"Eaaasy."  Technoblade turns to face Sapnap with a grin.  "You head out the door that's next to the oven and go down the hallway that's just slightly off to the left.  Keep walking down it until you see the closed door that looks like it should be locked but isn't, and then you gotta jiggle the doorknob a couple times before it opens up and boom.  Instant library."

"...Alright.  Not bad."  Sapnap tries not to look impressed, but Technoblade can only smirk.  "Surprised you actually memorized the entire first floor."

"I've been here for like, what, a week?  I got nothing better to do."

"Well, you clearly know where the library is."

"Got nothing better to do since I'm not allowed outside."

"For good reason."

"To bore me to death?  That doesn't sound like a good reason."

Sapnap rolls his eyes, but Technoblade could see the corner of his mouth go up.  Got him.  "If you're so bored, why don't you go read a book in the library or something?"

"Nothing really captures my interest in there."  This wasn't even a lie.  Technoblade had genuinely gone through the titles of Dream's library to see what he could find there.  All he could find were books on fighting and battle strategies, guides and tip books for various skills and tasks, and occasionally a classic story that looked like it hadn't been touched since the day it was purchased.  Books that he had definitely read before a long, long time ago.  It surprised him that amongst all the battle-oriented books in Dream's library, Technoblade couldn't find his favorite hiding in the shelves.

Well.  He supposes that says more about Dream's mindset than anything else.

Technoblade leaves the gallery and resumes his aimless wandering of the mansion.  It doesn't take long before Sapnap speaks up again.

"So uh, why'd you guys settle in the tundra?"

"Liked the cold."  And the isolation.  It kept them safe and away from others who would go after them.  Plus, no one would even think to settle in the tundra, which made it an even better place to try and settle down in.  "Nothing more than that."

"Weird."  A pause.  "How do you even survive out there?"

"Easy.  Food and water, just like everyone else."

"But shelter?"

"Uh, you make it?  It's not like it's a wasteland out in the arctic."  If Technoblade didn't know any better, he would have thought that Sapnap was trying to sneak some information out of him for Dream.  But, Technoblade has been a boring hostage so far, so he bets that Sapnap is just digging for any kind of interaction to break down the monotony.  Technoblade could easily play along without revealing anything serious.  "You know, we managed to make board games out there."

Sapnap perks up at that.  "Oh yeah?  Like what?"

"The classics - checkers, chess.  Couple of other games too that Phil plays, but ehh, they never really caught my interest, y'know?"  

"Sure."

"One time, Phil made a game that was completely horizontal, and part of the game involved putting checker pieces into these slots that fell down and stacked.  The goal was to make a row of four in your colors."

"Oh?"  This piqued Sapnap's interest.  "That kinda sounds fun."

"Yeah.  Unfortunately, Phil made the board himself so I can't really replicate it that easily."

"...Oh."  Sapnap actually deflates when Technoblade tells him that.  Technoblade hides his smirk as he throws on a placating tone.

"But, I think we can figure out a workaround if you're really curious about how it worked."  

"...Yeah.  Why not?  We have time to burn."  

"Nice nice.  Just get me a checkers board and its pieces, and I can figure it out from there."

Sapnap ran off a little too eagerly to find the boardgame.  While he was gone, Technoblade picked a table to sit at and waited patiently for the raven-haired man to return.  His eyes strayed up to the second floor where he was sure Dream was hiding in.  From where he sat, he could see one large room with double doors that must be the ballroom.  There were a few other doors that were off to the side, but he's seen Sapnap leave one of them on a regular basis, so he could only assume those were the bedrooms of the three captors.  He'd yet to see George exit from one of the other rooms, but he's seen Dream exit from all three rooms at least once.  Seeing as he was the leader of the group, it made sense that he would see fit to invade the space of the other two men frequently for whatever meetings his heart saw fit.  

"Found a set!"  Sapnap's voice draws Technoblade's attention back to him.  He puts on a friendly smile as Sapnap places the checkerboard down alongside its pieces.

"Niiiiiice.  Well, since we got it here, here's a way we can play Phil's game..."

While it wasn't as satisfying as Philza's well crafted game, sliding the pieces down to mimic the pull of gravity was satisfying in its own way.  The game also revealed just how competitive Sapnap could get as he requested rematch after rematch every time he lost to Technoblade (which just so happened to be every time).  By the time it was dinner time, Sapnap was just about ready to upturn the table.  For the final match, Technoblade allowed Sapnap to win without the other man realizing it.  The genuine cry of happiness Sapnap made almost made Technoblade feel bad for letting the bandanna man think he would ever have a chance at beating Technoblade.

Almost.

"HA!  I beat you this time!"

"Oh no, I'm losing my touch."  Technoblade forces a disappointed sigh but smiles again at Sapnap.  "Guess you're getting better at it."

"Of course I am!  I finally figured out your techniques."

"Mhm."  He allowed Sapnap to believe that.  "Guess I'll be the one requesting a rematch after dinner."

"I look forward to it," Sapnap says with a smirk.  "Now come on, we need to get to dinner before Chef gets upset that we're leaving his cooking to get cold."

From then on, Technoblade had an easier time getting Sapnap to loosen up around him.  They would play games together to keep each other entertained, and it helped to pass the time while he was confined to inside the mansion.  Through the games, he learned how fiercely protective Sapnap was of George and Dream, particularly George.  If either of them were in danger, Sapnap would be sure to protect both his friends.  It was duly noted information for when they would inevitably be involved in a war.  But in the meantime, Technoblade was content with beating Sapnap at children's boardgames while learning more and more about the raven-haired man as he spoke more and more of his friends.  To keep up the ruse, Technoblade made sure to let Sapnap win every once in a while.  Once he did, the raven-haired man would start gloating and bring up even more details of their friendship.  He, however, did not reveal any secrets behind the city-state that arranged all of this.  

Technoblade had another source he could try wheedling information out of.  This came in the form of George and his nighttime escapades.  Unlike Sapnap, George wasn't as easy to pin down.  No, in fact, he was just slightly harder to get a hold of.  Being a man who seemed rarely active in the daytime, Technoblade decided now was the time to flaunt his other skill that only a few people knew of: his horrible, terrible, no good, very bad sleeping schedule.  He supposes tormenting his captors by having an unpredictable and difficult to maintain schedule would be a fun way to go about his capture.

Today, he woke up closer to 4 PM, which meant he still had a little time to beat Sapnap at a game of Row of 4 (name still pending, but he figured Philza would get a hoot out of Technoblade making a bootleg of his own game).  Afterwards, he could have a nice dinner-for-breakfast meal and then wander around the first floor until Sapnap was forced to retire to his own room to sleep.

And then.  Then, it was the waiting game.  Now, people didn't know this about Technoblade, but when it came down to it, he could be a very patient man if it meant achieving his goals.  So he sat in wait, watching the upstairs rooms carefully with a book held open in his hands.  The contents of the book were not particularly interesting (he already knew the best tactics for one-on-one battles), but it would give him something to do as he watched for George's door to open.  A few hours passed before he could hear a door creak open.  He was surprised he was able to get away with being unsupervised for that long, but he figured he wouldn't complain about it if it meant he could get away with it.  The man in spectacles finally walked out, yawning widely as he stumbled out of the room and walked down the stairs.  He didn’t seem to notice Technoblade waiting for him in the foyer and simply kept walking.  With a quirked eyebrow, Technoblade closed the book and placed it down on his seat to follow the brunet around.  Maybe he was keeping his footsteps quiet by accident, but George still didn’t notice Technoblade stalking after him as he made his way to the kitchen to grab some food.  Even the kitchen staff stared at Technoblade a bit bewildered as he simply followed after the brunet.  It wasn't until Technoblade sat down across from George that he finally spoke up.

"Yoooo."

"OH- shit-!"  George jumps in his seat and makes the tableware clatter around the table as his knee bangs against it.  After a few curses, his gaze finally focuses on the pink-haired man sitting bemused across from him.  "When did you get here?!"

"Considering the fact that I'm your hostage, I've been here the entire time."  Technoblade stretches.  "But actually, I just sat down when you did."

"I didn't hear you coming."

"I noticed."  Technoblade keeps an easy smile on his face as he stares down George.  "Y'know, I also noticed you're not a morning person."

George studies him carefully, fork hovered over his meal.  "...I have things I must attend to at night."

"Like?"

George hesitates before stabbing a cut of meat.  "Some paperwork Dream didn’t get to.  Maybe looking at what facilities need repairs or require supplies."

Technoblade cocks his head to the side.  "So you're the main guy who makes sure the mansion stays running."

"I mean- not really.  I just help Dream at night when he needs rest."

"Hence why you're more active at night."  Interesting.  "So it's just you at night?"

"Yes."  George quickly takes a bite of food.  "Which begs the question - why are you still awake?"

"Actually, I woke up late myself."  Technoblade leans back in his chair.  "Read a book waaay too late in the night, and the next thing I know, it's morning.  So I went to bed pretty late and woke up pretty late.  It's not like I got much to do, since I'm locked up in here and can't even go outside."  

George nods slowly, not taking his eyes off of Technoblade as he eats.  A realization dawns on his face before it's replaced with resigned bitterness.  "Then that means I'll need to babysit you this time."

"Yuuup."  Technoblade grins and spreads his arms out wide.  "We're gonna be nighttime pals!"

"Oh.  Yaaaayy..."

"Yaaaaayyy!"  Technoblade makes a subdued cheer before grabbing a piece of bread the kitchen staff offers to him.  Might as well join in the meal if he's going to be sitting here.  "Now you have company."

"Just what I wanted."

"Don't worry, I won't interrupt your meal any longer."  Technoblade takes a bite of the bread and winks playfully at George.  "Eat up."

George glares at Technoblade and takes his time with his meal.  The pink-haired man didn't mind, instead enjoying the silence as he snacked away.  It was a change of pace from having Sapnap tail him around the mansion.  Sure, the board games were more entertaining than he expected, but there was only so much he could do with another man looking over his shoulder.  Even surprise interruptions by Dream were getting more and more welcomed as the green-clad man would nag Technoblade about his answer.

"So, when are you going to agree to the merge with my estate?"  It was the same question every time, and Technoblade would respond with the same answer every time.

"Ehh, I still need to think about it.  You keep promising things, but I haven't really seen them yet, y'know?" 

And Dream would leave in a huff as Sapnap watched from behind.  He asked the raven-haired man when Dream was planning on showing him evidence of these boons, but Sapnap refused to answer.  The constant tug and pull could only last for so long before Dream got tired of it, and when that happens, Technoblade needs to have a plan ready to either stall or leave.

Right now, he could still stall.  So stall he would.  After all, he still had an argument to make.  If Dream couldn't back up his claims, why on earth would Technoblade agree to his terms?  They would need to let him go outside eventually, to show him what they really had to offer.  It was only a matter of time.

But until then...

He could have some fun poking around the mansion here and there.

George finally finishes his meal and gets up to leave.  Technoblade follows his lead and tails the brunet as he walks out of the dining room.  The brunet throws Technoblade a haggard stare, to which Technoblade merely returns with a grin.  "What?  Can't I keep you company?  Probably gets lonely at night when you're the only one working."

"I got used to it.  Stay here."  He stands at the staircase and points towards the bottom of it.  "Dream said you're still not permitted upstairs, but I still need to do my work and watch you so... stay here.  I'll be back once I get my things."

"Sure thing."

George quickly makes his way up and into his bedroom, leaving the door wide open.  Technoblade could wander up anyways and take a peek inside, but he knows that would ruin his plans if he started getting in their bad graces now.  Instead, he wanders back to his seat from before and picks up the book he'd been reading.  By the time he makes it back to the staircase, George is already rushing down with an armful of paperwork and ledgers.  "Alright," the man says breathlessly, glasses a bit askew, "now to the library."  

"Sounds like a plan."  Like a good hostage, Technoblade remains within George's sight as he walks ahead.  

He opens the door for the brunet, earning a surprised and startled noise from George before the man walks in with a mumbled, "Thanks."

"No problem," Technoblade answers as he shuts the library doors behind them.  

George settles down at a nearby table quickly and spreads out all the papers and ledgers on top of it.  Before Technoblade can get any closer, George points a finger at the pink-haired man to stop him in his tracks.  "No sitting near me," George says sternly.  "You can sit over there instead."  George points to a table not too far from him but still within his view.  Technoblade merely shrugs and takes his seat as directed.

The two of them keep silent as George works dutifully.  Technoblade skims over the words in his book, listening to George shuffling the papers every once in a while.  If this was what the man did every day of his life, he wondered what Dream must be doing that keeps him so busy.  Technoblade peeks at George from over his book, the brunet busy scribbling away with a deep set frown on his face.  It reminds him of how Philza works when he's handling the administrative work.  Granted, Technoblade also helps the avian with his work, so it's odd to see one lone man amongst the piles of paperwork without so much as the chatter of someone to keep him sane.

Isn't it great that Technoblade is here to bother him?

"Say," Technoblade pipes up, forcing George to a stop, "don't you have any hobbies?  Is this really all you do?"

"Well," he says slowly, almost hesitantly, "I like to sleep?"

"...Sleep?"

"Yeah, sleep."  George resumes his writing as he continues to talk.  "Nothing much around here interests me.  I'm just helping Dream out because he's my friend."

"Huh.  Well, if all you do is paperwork stuff, maybe sleeping ain't such a bad hobby."

George huffs out a laugh.  "Yeah.  And- well, in dreams?  You can have adventures and stuff.  And there are no consequences if someone loses or wins.  I would much prefer that than real stakes."

"Hm, I see."  Technoblade didn't really see the appeal of it all, but he supposes if he was stuck doing all the paperwork for Dream, he too would prefer sleeping over seeing another page of legal jargon to parse through indefinitely.  "Do you ever take breaks?"

"I mean, I could?"  George looks up from his work a bit bewildered.  "But I never really had a reason to?  I've also been on my own for some time.  I mean, Sap tries to keep me company every once in a while, but Dream needs him during the day, so it's rare that we get to hang out as much."

"That's... kinda sad actually."

"Well-!"  George quickly becomes flustered as he drops his pen to wave his hands about.  "We all have our reasons!  Sap is busy, Dream is busy, I'm busy-"

"But even if you're busy, you should still get the chance to hang out with your buds."  Technoblade reclines on his chair and balances it on the back two legs expertly.  "Kinda lame in my opinion that it's all work no play for you."

"I can have fun," George sniffs petulantly.  "You just don't know me."

"Oh?  Then prove me wrong."  He grins as he watches George set the papers aside to stare down Technoblade.  

"Alright then.  Let me go get a book."

Technoblade raises an eyebrow.  "Okay."

George quickly gets up and makes a beeline to a very specific part of the library.  From what Technoblade can recall, it was a small section dedicated to botany.  The selection was minimal at best, but he found himself perusing it every once in a while for a small change of pace.  It was a shame they didn't have a book on garden vegetables - knowing how to grow your own food would be pivotal knowledge to starting up a kingdom.  He wonders if Dream even considered the art of farming before deciding he wanted to go around kidnapping people to absorb into his wannabe kingdom. 

A book is slammed down in front of Technoblade, startling both Technoblade and himself despite being the one who slammed it down in the first place.  "Sorry," mumbles George as Technoblade quickly settles his chair properly onto the ground.  "Anyways, here's what we'll do."  In front of Technoblade is a book about... mushrooms?

"Okay?"

"I didn't even explain it yet."  George sits down next to Technoblade with his hand firmly on the cover.  "We're gonna play a game where I choose the page to look at, and you have to tell me if you think the mushroom we're staring at is poisonous or safe."

"...Heh?  I don't know anything about mushrooms."

"Then this is a fantastic time to start learning."  For the first time that night, George actually grins as he takes the book and opens it to a random page.  He pulls out two sheets of paper and folds them up quickly, placing them in the book before presenting it to Technoblade.  The sheets of paper covered up any information regarding the mushroom, leaving only an image for the pink-haired man to study.  He had no idea what signs he was supposed to be looking for.  "So," George begins, "is this edible or poisonous?"

"Uhhh," Technoblade says intelligently.  He stares at the mushroom that looks sort of yellow-ish and a bit flat.  A few other pictures were provided, showing the underside of the cap with odd ridges lining it.  He blinks slowly.  He only knew the brown mushrooms with the smooth caps, which Philza said were okay to eat, and the red mushrooms with white dots, which Philza specifically said do NOT eat.  He'd never even seen yellow mushrooms before.  "...Poisonous?"

"Unfortunately for you, or fortunately rather, this one is actually edible!"  George pulls the paper away from the page to reveal the name of the mushroom.

"...Chanterelle," he reads out slowly.

"Lovely mushrooms, those ones.  Got a bit of a buttery taste to them.  We can have Chef cook some up for a meal one day once they're in season.  Next mushroom!"

"Wait, how can you tell it's edible?"

"Oh, well for this one, I could tell by the cap and the underside."  George points to the cap first.  "The cap is uniform in color and is a solid yellow.  Its lookalikes either have odd bumps covering the top of it or are the wrong color, like brown or a deep shade or orange.  The ridges underneath are known as fake gills - its lookalikes would have real gills that look more straight and uniform, versus these vein-like structures.  It also helps that I know what chanterelles look like!"

"...I see.  Does this apply to every mushroom?"

"Nope."  The smile remains blissfully content as George continues.  "It depends from mushroom to mushroom."

"Oh.  Neat."  

"Next one!"

Unlike with Sapnap, Technoblade genuinely struggled to win a single identification "game" with George as he stared down each new entry with equal amounts of confusion.  George was all too happy to explain why any given mushroom was either edible or poisonous, and the qualifications for what made any given mushroom fit under either category seemed to vary from each individual mushroom.  It all flew over Technoblade's head, and had it not been for the fact that he needed to stay on the good sides of his captors, he would have gotten up and walked away ages ago.

But no.  He has to play nice in order for them to lower their guard.  So there he sat, flummoxed and frustrated as he swallowed his pride and continued to play along.

About an hour passed before Technoblade was beginning to feel genuinely tired.

"Okay," he says, covering up a yawn, "I think I need to head to bed now."

"Oh, right."  George closes the book and takes it back.  "I suppose you have been up longer than me."  

"Eeyup."  Technoblade gets up, George following his lead with the book still in hand.  "As fun as that was, I should leave you to work."  

"Sure.  Gotta make sure you get to your room first."

"Of course.  Still a hostage after all, haha!"  He points fingerguns at George and starts walking away before the brunet can even process the idea of feeling uncomfortable by his statement.  George's footsteps follow after him as he takes strides back to his room.  

"So uh, how often are you going to do this thing where you just randomly pop up during the night?"

"Often enough," Technoblade says simply.  "I'll show up when you least expect it."

"Huh.  Alright."  There's a slight lilt to his voice that makes Technoblade smirk.  Got 'im.  

Technoblade's hand lands on the doorknob to his room, and he turns slightly to give a two finger salute to George.  "See ya later, nerd."  

There's a slight smile on George's face as he nods.  "Right.  See ya."

["And that was how I spent the majority of my month.  Playing games and hanging out with my captors."

"A rather chill hostage situation you found  yourself in."  Tommy doesn't look too impressed.  "So what, you played house with Dream's friends and got on their good side and that's your big brained moment?  Just sounds like you were having a grand ol' time puttering about."

"Oh there was nothing really grand about it."  Technoblade paces in front of Tommy as he continues to recount his tale.  "Like, I was still a hostage, alright?  Dream's patience and grace could run out at any minute.  I'd been stalling for, what, a month by then?  Telling Dream that maybe I'd agree to his terms, maybe not.  I was balancing on a tightrope, and the only thing keeping me on it was the fact that Sapnap and George now liked having me around.  And even if Dream wouldn't admit it to them, he did care about what they liked."

"Okay, I guess?  Wait, hold on."  Tommy holds up his hands to get Technoblade to stay still for a moment.  "Why the hell did you stay with them for a month?"

"Over a month, actually.  I'm just at the month marker at this point."

"More than a month?!"  Tommy shrieks at that revelation.  "Why would you stay with them for THAT long?!"  

"First of all, it's how you develop relationships, thank you.  And secondly, I wanted to give Philza time."

"Time for what, exactly?"

"Well... let's just say, you wouldn't take too kindly to getting kidnapped and being held hostage, would you?"

"Uh, no.  Sounds like absolute bollocks actually.  Which begs the question - why were YOU there for so long?"

"Tommy, Tommy- read between the lines, would ya?  If I had to give Philza time, it was so he could scrape together some manpower."

Tommy's eyes widen.  "You lot were going to go up against Dream."  

"Ehhh, eventually.  You know, preferably when I was back home.  Plus, we were still a small commune back then, y'know?"  Technoblade rubs his chin in thought as he recalls his memories.  "It was more about fortifying the defenses, making it harder for them to attack us.  Getting deeper into the terrain so that Dream's poor preparations would bite him later when he tried to go up against us.  Why rush training when we can have nature protect us and buy us more time, right?"  Technoblade grins as he returns back to the story.  "So, here comes the fun part.  Y'see, I wasn't just stalling just to stall.  I was actually waiting for a sign from Philza, a message for me to get on it with and come home.  And one day, I finally got it.  And that," he says, holding out his hands and splaying out his fingers in a showy display, "is when the fun really began."]

A tapping at his window draws his attention.  He puts down the book he's reading and, after seeing who was waiting for him at the window, quickly barricades his door.  It's been a month since he'd been taken under Dream's custody, and both Sapnap and George had been getting more and more lax with just letting him be.  Of course, they would still check up on him, so he’d wanted to take the extra precaution just in case.  If they ask why he barricaded the door, he could say that he got bored and was rearranging his room.  He’s been here long enough to be allowed that privilege.  Technoblade rushes to his window and opens it, greeting the little crow that hops about on his windowsill.  "Hulloo," he says, holding out his hand and letting the black bird drop a small scroll of paper into his palm.  "Thanks, let me find you a treat."

It was a good thing he just had lunch.  He grabs what remains of the sandwich he'd been idly munching on and carefully breaks up the bread for the bird.  It caws happily and pecks at the crumbs of bread as Technoblade quickly unravels the message that Philza had sent him.

"Hey mate,

Hope you're holding up alright.  But knowing you, I'm sure you've suffered no problems so far. 

Just letting you know that everyone at home is safe and sound.  A few friends will be visiting soon, and they're likely to stay for a long stretch of time.

Winter's just around the corner, but I'm sure you know that already.

Everyone misses you.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Philza"

A large grin forms across his face as he folds up the letter and hides it in his boot.  "Pog, alright.  Guess it's time to get serious."  He walks over to the little crow and gives its head a gentle pet.  "You go on and tell Phil I'll be back before he even knows it."

The crow caws happily and flaps its wings in response.  Without waiting any longer, it quickly flies off into the sky with a single message to repeat back to his old friend.  Technoblade stretches and closes the window before collecting his plate and removing the barricade.

Time for him to lock in.

The first person he finds is Sapnap, idly shuffling a deck of cards in his hands.  "Yoo," he greets, getting Sapnap's attention.  The raven-haired man looks up with a grin.

"Hey," Sapnap greets.  He holds up the pack of cards to Technoblade.  "Wanna play a few rounds of Twenty-One?"

Despite being a betting game, the two of them agreed to play just for the sake of playing the game.  Technoblade had nothing but his pride to bet on, and Sapnap liked the feeling of winning more than the actual gambling aspect of it all.  It helped to pass the time, and the relaxed, low stakes playing made it easy to make conversation without having to think too hard about the game.  The set up was just what Technoblade needed to ease his way into the next part of his plan.

"Sure."  Technoblade sits down across from Sapnap and takes the cards dealt to him.  In his hands are a six and king.  Ten points so far. 

"Stand or hit?"  Sapnap asks, hand on the deck as he looks at Technoblade.

"Hit." Sapnap hands him a card.  This one is a five.  "Y'know..."  Technoblade begins, "I've been wondering when I'll be allowed to go outside.  At least to the gardens.  Hit."

Sapnap hands him another card.  It's a three.  "I dunno...  I mean, I asked Dream, but he seems adamant that you stay inside.  He thinks you'll try to run off the minute we open the doors."

"Me?  Run off?  Do you really think I'd do that?  Stand."

Sapnap flips over the two cards revealing a king and a nine.  He deals another card and grins when he pulls a six.  "I win."

"Aw, dang."

Sapnap takes the cards, shuffles, and deals him a new hand.  "I doubt you'd run.  You would have already tried if you wanted to."

"Exactly."  He looks down at his hand.  A two and a three.  "Hit."  Sapnap deals him another card.  A five.  "I'm just saying, if he really wanted me to say yes, he should at least let me see what the outdoors look like.  He keeps saying he's got all these supplies, but really, all I've seen is a mansion with lots of rooms, a library, a gallery, an unused meeting room, and a dining area.  Heck, I haven't even seen what I think is the ballroom.  Hit."  Sapnap deals him another card.  It's a ten.  "Stand."

"I get where you're coming from, I do.  But he's real stubborn about this.  It's either his way or no way.  You know how he is."  Sapnap reveals his hand.  A ten and a ten.  "I win."

"Dealer's rigging the game," Technoblade bemoans dramatically, making Sapnap snicker.  "This sucks.  My entire savings is down the drain.  Now how will I feed my carrot addiction?"  

"Get good."  Sapnap deals him a new hand. 

He glances down.  A nine and a ten.  "Stand.  And there's gotta be another way.  If I keep walking down the same halls, looking at the same rooms, I think I'll actually go stir-crazy."

Sapnap grimaces at his words and reveals his hand.  An ace and an eight.  "Tie.  And... I'll see what I can do.  It's been a month, and if you're not budging until you see... something, maybe he'll finally let up."

Two new cards.  An ace and a ten.  Technoblade grins.  "Thanks.  That's all I can really ask for.  Stand."

["With one conversation down, I turned my attention towards George next."]

The night owl was yet again spending the night in the library.  However, instead of focusing on the pile of paperwork in front of him, George was focused on a book instead.  Technoblade knocked on the open door to get George's attention.

"Yooo."

George's head perked up when he heard his voice.  "Oh, hey Techno."

Technoblade wandered over and took a peek at what George was reading.  It was the book Technoblade had recommended him - architectural designs for various different buildings.  Turns out, George liked more than just sleeping and mushrooms.  He was a builder as well.  It was why he was willing to help Dream out in the first place.  He was waiting for his chance to finally expand past the mansion and actually put his blueprints out into the world with the help of Dream's power and money.  All they needed was an actual community to rule over.

Well.  Technoblade wasn't going to let the Arctic Commune be dragged into this against their will, but Dream didn't need to know that.  Instead, the pink-haired man grinned as he took a seat across from George.  "Enjoying the book?"

"Yeah.  Dream isn't much of a builder, so he doesn't care much about these kinds of things.  It's why he had me design this mansion.  Couldn't be arsed to do it himself."  George shakes his head, an affectionate smile on his face.  "But, his lack of interest means that I can do whatever I want when it comes to building."

"Sure does.  You know, my old friend is a great builder himself.  He made the cabin the two of us were living in back in my commune.  Made me do a lot of resource gathering while he worked.  Maybe you should make Dream do the same too."

"You know, he actually did that when I first designed the mansion with another builder.  It was the least he could do since he wasn't doing any of the actual designing.  This place is my best work, I think.  I'm quite proud of it."

"I bet.  I've only seen the front and inside though.  Never got to see what the backsides looked like.  Kinda wish I could."

The smile falls off George's face as he sighs, closing the book carefully.  "Dream isn't going to let you outside, Blade.  We've been over this, and I've already tried."

"Yeah, but how am I going to agree to anything if he refuses to negotiate?  I've been here over a month, and nothing has changed.  I'm still a hostage - what's he got to lose if I want to go check out the gardens?"

"He's worried you'll run off."

"To where?  I have no idea where I am, and I only have my own two feet to carry me places.  In comparison, you guys have all the horses.  Ehh, I'm just saying, he's been real paranoid for a guy with all the control here."

The brunet thinks it over, his brow creased as he thinks.  "I guess...  But still."

This was going to be tricky, but Technoblade knew a thing or two about tricky situations.  "You know what?  Why don't we all just… spend the day together.  All four of us."

That captures George's attention.  "All four of us?" 

"Yeah.  All four of us.  A day in the sun.  Wouldn't that be nice?"

"It... it would be.  Yeah." 

"And it'd be a great break from all the paperwork he makes you do.  Be a nice way to show appreciate for all the work you and Sapnap do."

"You're right."  A determined look crosses George's face.  "I do... miss being able to talk with Sap."

"And you can still talk to him," Technoblade encourages.  "You could... maybe catch him before you go to bed.  Talk to him and maybe figure something out."

"We could... we could both talk to Dream together.  He might be more willing to listen to us if we both agree on the same thing."

Yes.  Technoblade grins.  "Sounds like it's worth a try."

["And just like that, I had both pawns set on the board, whispering to each other as I eyed down the king across from me."

"Wait, king as in the literal chess piece king, or like, king as in Dream is the king of the mansion?"

"Both, Tommy."]

A week had passed since the last time he brought up the subject with Sapnap and George.  Whatever the two were figuring out behind his back was none of his business.  As long as it worked in his favor, he didn't mind how long it took for them to come together to confront Dream.

Speaking of.

"So.  Have you thought it over fully yet, Techno?"

"Man, you keep asking me the same thing over and over again, but you never really offer me anything concrete, y'know?"  Technoblade waves a knife in the air before using it to cut up his meal.  Tonight was another night of being "blessed" to share a meal with Dream as the two discussed the nature of his hostage situation.  "I can't agree to empty promises without proof you'll make good on it."

"Do you really think I'd offer you empty promises, Techno?"

"It's been over a month and mmmm, I've yet to see you show me a mountain of supplies that would be enough to stock a village.  I mean, c'mon Dream, you're not broke, are you?  With a mansion this big?  It couldn't hurt to flaunt your wealth in other ways, right?"

"I'm not broke, Techno.  I just... don't want to show off all my supplies and stock to you."

"Sounds like to me you've got nothing to show, and you don't want me to know."  Technoblade smirks as he takes a bite of his meal.  "Like- is it really that hard to show me a basement full of food or something?  A shed with some supplies?  It- it can't be that hard, right?"

A pause.  It's a pause that lasts a little too long, making Technoblade's eyes widen with surprise.

"Wait," he begins, the smirk growing wider.  

"Stop."  Dream's voice rises with a pitch when he realizes what Technoblade is insinuating.  "Don't even-"

"Wait!  Don't tell me, man's actually bro-"

"Dream!"  The doors to the dining room burst open as Sapnap and George rush in with serious expressions.  "Can we talk?"

"Oh thank god- yes, yes we can talk."  Dream gets up from the table and walks away from dinner.  "Let's talk outside."

"Actually, we can just talk in the-"

"No no, outside is fine."

"He doesn't want to admit he's dead broke!"  Technoblade laughs as Dream spins on his heel and jabs a finger in his direction.

"Shut up!  I'm not broke!"

"Broooooke.  That's why he doesn't want to show me anything!  'Cause he doesn't have anything to show!"

"I'm not-!  I DO have everything I said I have!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that an echo I hear?  Because of how empty your stocks are?"  

"Shut-!  Guys, let's go outside now."  Dream drags the other two out of the room and shuts the door behind him.  

As if a closed door would stop Technoblade.  He quickly races over to the door and puts his ear against it to overhear the conversation.

"-I've told you both before that we can't let him out of the mansion!"  

"I know, I know, but it's been over a month!  Nothing has changed!  If we want something to change, we need to do it ourselves!"  Sapnap speaks up against Dream with a bit of annoyance.  "You keep saying, don't let him out, but it's not like you're doing anything to stop him!  It's always George and me doing all the babysitting, never you.  And let me tell you, he's been on his best behavior this entire time.  The only person who doesn't see that is you, because you're not doing any of the watching!"

"I haven't heard you two complain this entire time about being the ones to watch Technoblade."

"Yeah, but now we're getting tired of holding our tongues."  Even George sounds frustrated.  "Listen, it'll just be for a day.  One simple day.  We can't keep him locked up inside forever."

"We can.  Because he's our hostage."

"And what a hostage he's been, hanging around us more than you ever do."  Sapnap spits out the words bitterly.  "He's been more fun to be around than you!  If you really cared about anything happening in this mansion, you'd actually be doing something about making the hostage agree to your terms instead of just stomping off when he says nope."  

"Just let him out," George says, more calm than Sapnap's anger.  "We’ll try it out for one day.  If he doesn't run, then we're solid, yeah?"

Silence.  And then finally:

"Fine.  We try it out for one day, and that's it."

A sigh of relief is heard from one of the two facing down Dream.  "Thank you."

The doorknob jiggles, and Technoblade only has a little bit of time to jump out of the way and gather himself as quickly as possible.  Dream's mask greets Technoblade, and he can just feel the irritation roll off him in waves.

"Haha!  Dream!  Mmm, mmm, yeah, that dinner was great!  Mmm, always a good meal around here.  Haha!  I was just about to head off to the library-"

"One day."  Dream's voice is stern.  "You get one day outside in the gardens.  That's it."

"What, really?"  Technoblade does his best to feign his ignorance and look surprised.  "Pog!  Thank you, Dream."

"Don't thank me, thank those two."  He jabs his thumb over his shoulder to Sapnap and George.  Sapnap grins and gives Technoblade two thumbs up.  George waves eagerly.

"Aww, thanks guys."  He fakes the sentimentality with a bright grin.  "So, when do I get to go out?"

"Tomorrow."  Dream turns on his heel and starts to walk away.  "Tomorrow, and that's all you get."

"Great!  One day in the sun is all I'll need."  A door slams shut.  He ignores it as Sapnap claps his shoulder with glee.

"First thing's first, I wanna see just how good you actually are with a sword."  A fiery determination is bright in his eyes.  Something Technoblade hasn't seen before.  Probably because it wouldn't be safe to cross blades indoors.  Sapnap must have been just as bored as he was some days if he's this eager for a fight.  

Technoblade nods.  "Sure.  Don't cry when I beat you with a blade for the first time."

"As if!"  Sapnap releases Technoblade and waves him off as he retreats.  "I'll see you tomorrow first thing in the sun!"

"Byeee."  He turns to George, who looks equally as excited.  "Now I can see what the whole mansion looks like."

"I'll give you a tour of the gardens as well."  George grins before yawning.  "But first, I'm gonna go take a nap.  I'll be awake when you guys go out there."

"Gotcha.  See ya later."

George waves as he wanders off to his room to sleep.  This left Technoblade alone with just his thoughts.  Tomorrow didn't leave much room to plan, but that was probably Dream's intention.

He grins.  No matter.  He didn't really need much.  All his pieces were on the board already.  Now he just had to move them all into the right position.

["So what was your gameplan, big man?  Was this where you finally made your great escape?"

"Patience, Tommy.  A wise man never reveals his plans right away."

"Is that another Sun Tzu quote?"

"I'm not actually sure.  But anyways-"

"Dude."

"-'tomorrow' finally arrived, and as expected, all four of us were standing out in the sunlight.  For me, it had been ages since I'd felt the sun on my skin.  Of course, before I could really drink in the scenery and take a good look around, Sapnap insisted that we-"]

"Fight!"  A practice sword is thrown Technoblade's way as he faces off against Sapnap.  He's barely given a second to find his grip when Sapnap comes rushing at him.  Technoblade quickly narrows his eyes and blocks his attack.  The blades were made of cheap metal, the kind that was meant to be easily replaced if a recruit suddenly broke it.  It was light in his hands, but that didn't matter to him.  It'd been so long since he held a weapon in his hand that his instincts immediately took over.

With a strong outward sweep of his arm, he threw off Sapnap's blade from his own and immediately began his own barrage of attacks.  Sapnap parried and blocked as quickly as he could, surprise overtaking his face as Technoblade slashed and struck down with an inhuman strength that was meant for war.  

The blades were cheap, meant to be broken.  So it wasn't a surprise to him that with his final blow, the swords broke upon impact.  Sapnap ends up falling on his butt, the sword he holds broken in half from the force of Technoblade's final blow.  Technoblade tosses his own sword aside, offering a hand to Sapnap.  The raven-haired man grins and takes the offered hand with no hesitance.  He's pulled up easily, and Sapnap laughs as he's back on his feet.

"Wow!  Wish I got to fight you sooner.  Maybe then I'd have a fighting chance against you."

Technoblade scoffs and stands proudly before Sapnap.  "If you wish to defeat me, train for another 100 years."

That gets Sapnap laughing before he wanders away to talk to Dream.  George comes up next, looking just as proud as Technoblade, but he's sure it's for a different reason.  "C'mon, you wanted to see what the mansion looks like from behind, yeah?"

"Yup."

"Then let the tour begin!"  

The back of the mansion was actually really impressive.  Being the back of a building, most would assume that it'd look plain or simple, since it wouldn't be the first thing that people saw when they first arrive.  But George clearly cared that it would look just as good from the back as it did the front.

"If you're going to spend time in the gardens, then you'll have to be looking at the back of the mansion as well.  It might as well look just as good if you're gonna be spending a good chunk of time outside."

He also took the time to show Technoblade around the gardens.  Flowers bloomed all around, the garden being taken care of meticulously.  Tulips, roses, and a few others that Technoblade couldn't name off the top of his head were planted in neat rows that looked to be in a specific pattern.  It was something he was sure Philza would appreciate if he were to fly over the gardens and see what it looked like in the sky.  

But what really grabbed Technoblade's attention was the forest that bordered the gardens.  Just out there laid his salvation.  As he stared out into the forest, a distant caw could be heard flying overhead.

Perfect.

George and him made it back to where Dream and Sapnap were sitting down on a bench, Sapnap excitedly telling Dream about... something while Dream listened attentively.

"And so Karl-"

"Oh, you guys are back."  Dream interrupts Sapnap's story to greet the pair returning.  "Had fun on your little tour?"

"Well," George begins, "I couldn't show him all of the gardens."

"Oh?"  That piques Technoblade's interest as he focuses his attention again on George.  Dream merely nods at this.

"Good.  It'd be hard to show him around without the horses anyways."

"Actually..."  George looks at Dream with a pleading look.  

"No," was Dream's immediate response.

"Aw, please?"  George adds a pout to his plea, making Sapnap snicker.  "We haven't ridden the horses in ages, and it'd be nice to have a trot about the area.  He's only got one day out here anyways - be nice to make the most of it while we can."

"C'mon, Dream."  Sapnap nudges the masked man playfully.  "You know you can't say no to that face."

"Yeah, Dream."  Technoblade joins in the ribbing with a grin.  "It'd make George really happy."

That seems to change something with Dream's posture.  Oh, well isn't that a fun surprise.  "Fine," Dream relents.  "But we're all riding together.  And I'll decide who gets which horse."  With that, he gets up and walks off to get said horses.

Sapnap and George cheer while Technoblade watches them with a smile.  He was so close.  So close.  He knew what Dream's intentions were, but if he played his cards just right...  

His eyes glanced up at the sun in the sky.  It was still high up there.  Noon.  He still had plenty of time.  But that didn't mean he could just relax and let the time pass him by.  After all, it's like Sun Tzu once said: "Cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays."

Dream arrives with four horses in tow.  He hands a horse to Technoblade, the horse's sleepy eyes earning it a pet from him.  No doubt, this was the slowest of the group.  Nevertheless, he mounts it easily and watches as the other three mount their steeds as well.  With George leading the pack, he finishes the tour he promised Technoblade by revealing the riding paths that had been etched into the ground from numerous treks around the property.  The paths led into and out of the forest, making a sort of track that would loop around the garden.  He assumes it's been used for races with the horses, as the well worn tracks are littered with imprints of hooves.

With the end of the tour in sight, it meant that they would have to dismount and return the horses to the stables.  That would put a wrench in Technoblade's plans.  However, there was one young man who looked itching to start a race.  "Hey, Sapnap."

Sapnap eagerly perked up, already anticipating Technoblade's question.  "Yeah?"

"Wanna race?"

"Hell yeah."

"George, count us down."

George trots his horse over to the two of them, making sure they were properly lined up before announcing the call.  "On your marks, get set, GO!"

Sapnap's horse blazes ahead as Technoblade's horse struggles to keep up.  It was no surprise to him that Sapnap beat him back to the start easily.  The raven-haired man laughed wildly as Dream clapped him on the back for his win.  

"Good race!"  He called out to Technoblade as he made it back to the start.  

"Yeah, sucks I lost though."

"Eh, you win some, you lose some."

"Dream, why don't you join the races as well?"  He turns his attention to the masked man who'd been dutifully distant the entire excursion.  "Be nice to join in on the fun."

"Yeah, Dream.  Let's race!"  George pulls his horse up to the makeshift line, throwing a smile back at Dream.  "It's been a while since we did anything like this."

For a moment, Dream doesn't respond.  However, he does trot his horse up to the start wordlessly.  Sapnap exchanges a grin with George before he goes up and does the countdown.  They watch as Dream and George race off through the natural track.  Unsurprisingly, Dream gave himself the faster horse.  However, George's horse was keeping up quite well.  At the last moment, George's horse suddenly pushes forward with a burst of speed that has it overtaking Dream's horse easily, letting George win the race much to Dream's surprise.  Sapnap and Technoblade congratulate both of them as the horses catch their breaths.  

"Wasn't that fun?"  George nudges Dream from his horse, making the masked man huff affectionately.

"Yeah, it was."  

"We should keep racing."  Sapnap's eager voice speaks up.  "Been a while since we all had fun like this."

"I think it's a good idea," Technoblade agrees.  "What do you say, Dream?"

"...Yeah, alright."  There's a bit of a pleasant tone to his voice.  As if he was actually having fun with them.  "Wouldn't hurt to keep going."

The group of them cheer with excitement as the races continue.  It was Dream against Sapnap, then George against Technoblade.  And then Technoblade found himself up against Dream, watching as Dream beat him and leading to his third defeat.  He feigned disappointment with the results as the other three laughed.

"Man, sucks that I lost again."  

"Yeah, maybe you just have to train for another 100 years before you can beat any of us at horse riding."  Sapnap teases him with a grin, throwing back the jab Technoblade used on him.

"Yeah yeah."  He lets the light ribbing roll off his back as he grinned. "Hey, why don't we try swapping horses for a bit?  Mix things up."

"Sure, I don't see why not."  Sapnap gets off his horse and motions to Dream.  "C'mon, let's swap."  

"You're just sore that I beat you last time," Dream says, a smile clear in his voice as he gets off the horse anyways.

"Whatever."  Sapnap rolls his eyes and looks towards George and Technoblade.  "You two gotta switch horses too."

"Sure," George says easily, already dismounting.  "Let's swap."

Technoblade expects Dream to disagree, but he's too busy swapping with Sapnap to even pay attention.  Excellent.  Technoblade grins as he swaps with George.

The races continue.  With each win and loss, the group swaps their horses around.  Technoblade continues to ride, waiting for the right horse to come his way.  It feels like hours have passed by the time he swaps horses again with Sapnap.  A brown horse with a white diamond on its forehead swishes its tail as it watches Technoblade with curious eyes.  He grins as he pets its muzzle.

This was George's original horse.

The secret fastest one out of the whole group.  He mounts it easily and lines his horse up next to George.  Dream is too lost in the fun to even realize who has which horse as he rides up to begin the race.

"Okay you two.  On your marks, get set, go!"

And oh, does Technoblade go.  He follows the track up as it curls into the forest.  George is ahead of him already with Technoblade not too far behind.  Before the path leads out of the forest, Technoblade veers off to the side and off the track.

"Hey!  Blade!  You're going the wrong way!"  George calls out in a surprised tone.  However, he does nothing to stop Technoblade as he continues to steer the horse further away from the track.  "Techno!  Hey, you gotta turn the horse around!"  

George's voice gets further and further away as he continues to push the horse forward.  He doesn't have much time before they realize he's gone for good, so he doesn't dare look back to check.  A caw from overhead grabs his attention, and the crow from before flies just ahead of him as it leads the way.

"TECHNOBLADE!"  Dream's voice is loud and off in the distance, slowly drawing closer with each word he screamed.  "GET BACK HERE!"

He's not sure which horse Dream has now, but it doesn't matter when he's already so far ahead.  Technoblade leans down and urges the horse onward.

"C'mon bud, show me what you're made of."

And just like that, a sudden burst of speed launches the two of them forward as Dream's voice grows more and more distant.  

"HAHA!  Eat my dust, NERDS!"  Technoblade laughs triumphantly as the horse breaks through the forest and runs through a terrain that slowly grows more and more familiar.

Finally.

Finally.

He's coming home.

"And that, Tommy, is the story of how I outsmarted Dream and his goons without having to fight a single one of them."

"Well, technically, you did fight Sapnap-"

"Ah bup bup bup.  That wasn't a real fight, that was a training match for fun.  It was a nothingburger of a fight."

"Yeah yeah."  Still, Tommy's eyes shine with admiration.  "So you really just rode off into the sunset with Dream's best horse?  Just like that?"

"Just like that."  Technoblade sits down and stretches, a grin on his face.  "After I got back, I was welcomed by everyone in the commune.  We had to prepare for the inevitable battle that would come from Dream, but we had some allies to back us up.  We won easy against him when he finally showed up.  Not sure what happened afterwards, but I heard he lost everything after we beat him down into the snow."

"Yeah, he's literally homeless now."  Tommy pauses.  "What happened to Sapnap and George?"

"From what I heard, they had a falling out with Dream.  Something about how he prioritized other things over their friendship.  Kinda saw it a mile away if I'm being honest."  Technoblade shrugs.  "But, well, that's the end of that.  So, you still think I'm nothing but a meathead now?"

"Hmmm..."  Tommy taps his chin thoughtfully before grinning.  "Yeah."

"HEH?" 

"All that planning relied on luck and nothing else!"

"Yeah, but it was still planning!"

"Doesn't prove anything.  You didn't do anything that felt real big brained in the moment."

"What-!  What about the whole manipulation thing!  Getting them to race and swap horses?!"

"Ehh, anyone could have done that."

"Alright, now you're getting on my nerves."  Technoblade stands up with a huff and puts his fingers to his lips.  He whistles, loud and piercing, making Tommy cry out and cover his ears.

"You massive dick!  What was that for?!"

The sound of an incoming trot gets their attention as a brown horse with a white diamond on its forehead approaches Technoblade obediently.  He strokes the horse's muzzle as it whinnies affectionately.  "Alright, Carl, let's head home."

"Wait, is that the horse you used to escape Dream?"

"Yup."

"That's so cool!  Are we riding back?"

"I'm riding back."  Technoblade mounts Carl easily and looks down at the blond teen who stares up at him with shock.  He grins as he waves Tommy off.  "You can walk back home."  Tommy sputters incoherently as Technoblade rides off without him, a boisterous laugh escaping him as he calls out, "See ya later, idiot!"

"TECHNOBLADE, YOU MASSIVE BITCH!"

[jubilantwriter]

What Green Reminds Him Of

(Written for @voicesfortheblade's charity event! Specifically for prompter Wren)

(AO3)

Summary:

It's in the quiet moments in his cabin that he is taken the most off guard. When he has no plans to occupy his mind, when his need for revenge has been satiated. When everything has been said and done, he finds himself stuck in a moment he wishes he could get out of. An anvil sits in his living room. And his head throbs at the sight of it.

Word Count: 6475

Bonus Tags: Technoblade-centric; Philza-centric; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Technoblade Has PTSD; Piglin Hybrid Technoblade; Avian Philza; Technoblade Hears Voices; Technoblade & Philza are Best Friends

----

When Tommy was still... staying with Technoblade, the young boy would have moments of panic.  Moments where the blond would freeze up despite the inherent danger he was in and be impossible to work with as Technoblade would rush in to try and save his skin.  The mere mention of Dream would be enough to make the boy shut down, and while Technoblade found it aggravating to work with at times, he'd still work with Tommy nonetheless to get the kid to safety or rouse him into action.

Now, he thinks he understands Tommy a little more as he stares down a familiar anvil sitting innocuously in his workspace.

Anvils never really scared him before.  They were just a tool, something to fix or improve his gear without a second thought.  Now, all he has are second thoughts.  For instance - does he really need to repair his tools now when they're only starting to look brittle?  Maybe he can push it off, deal with it another time.  And does he really need to upgrade his pickax?

For a moment, he remembers the weight of it in his hands as it swung upwards, tearing into Quackity's face and skull as he fought for his life.  The pickax... isn't heavy in his hands.  Not really.  He doesn't regret that fight at all.

But he does remember the events prior to that.  Getting locked into a cage for everyone to see.  That anvil, hanging over his head like a promising threat waiting to happen.

And oh, did it happen.

His head throbs at the memory, pickax clattering to the ground as he holds a hand up to his head and presses his palm's heel into his temple.  A hiss of pain is forced out through gritted teeth, nausea working its way through his stomach and making him queasy the longer he remains standing up.  Toothpick remains on the floor, the hero of his story looking a little more brittle than before.  His eyes focus on the worn handle as his vision swims from the growing pain in his head.  

"You know what," he says out loud, "maybe repairs can wait another day."

A cacophony of voices rush over him, the noise taking over his mind just enough that he nearly forgets the pain he's experiencing.

                                                                                                       guys he dropped toothpick

                            he dropped it

                                                                                                                                                                                                  TEHCNO YOU DROPPED TOOTHPICK!!

                                                         TECHNO YOU MISSED TOOTHPICK

 techno turn around you missed toothpick

                                                                                                                                      dropped it

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 oh shit he dropped it

                                                                  is he going to pick it up

                                                                                                                                                                                               Yo theres a anvil in the room

     wasn't he going to repair toothpick?

                                                                                                                             ANVIL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  MR TECHNOBLADE LOOK OUT!!

Guys I don't think he's using anvils anymore uh

                                                                                                                                                              pick up toothpick 

                                                                                            pick it up

                                                                                                                                                                                                           ANVIL

     its gonna break

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               technoblade what if you left the room

                                         At least put it away

                                                                                                                         TOOTHPICK DOWN

        Technodrop?

                                                                                                                                                                                                        ANVIL

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         you should leave

                                                     You said youd fix the pickax bro

                                                                                                                                                fix toothpick

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Techonogogogadgetpickax

                    guys hes not listening

"No, I'm listening."  Technoblade at the very least picks up Toothpick.  "I'm just not in the mood to do some stuff."

                                                                                Technomad?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             technosad

                                                                                                                                                no technotired

                       anvil alert

                                                                                                                                                                                                       guys I think he has trauma

"Me?  Trauma?  Please."  He snorts and hoists Toothpick over his shoulder.  "I'm just out of it, that's all."  Without a second glance, he quickly leaves his cabin and steps out into the cold.  The chilling breeze is a welcoming sensation as he takes a deep breath in and glances up at the night sky.  Technoblade always appreciated how nice the stars looked when they were so far from civilization.  He carefully leans Toothpick against the wall and heads down the stairs, for once moving forward without a set plan in mind.  So many things have happened in the past few weeks.  Philza had mentioned that it would be nice to finally take a breather away from all the fights and drama for a bit, but the quiet often left Technoblade alone with his thoughts and Chat.  Ironically enough, Chat had become less of a nuisance thanks to the recent doom and destruction he wrought upon what used to be L'Manburg.  There were less demands for blood, less mentions of the Blood God, and less cries for violence.

But that just meant that his thoughts could be heard loud and clear in his own head.  Time away from the violence meant that he had to process what he went through, instead of madly planning and preparing and focusing on a plan that needed to go as smoothly as possible.  Now, there were no plans to fixate on.  No secret meetings, no favors to call upon.

Just him.  And his thoughts.

                                      and us

         us too

                                                                                                                                                                                                   dont forget us

                                                                                               Technoforget

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              technoforget

                                                                                                                                   He really just said we're nothing to him smh

And of course, Chat.

He sits down on the last step of the staircase, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared out into the snow.  Going back inside felt daunting at the moment, and he really didn't want to unpack that.  Maybe he could go lay down among his wolf army.  Surely dog time could help fix whatever was wrong with him.

"Hey, mate!"

Or maybe best friend time could distract him from his desperate act of ignoring his musings.  He perks up at the sound of Philza's voice, the avian hybrid gliding down from the treeline to land in front of him.  His injured wing was healing better now, but his landings were still a bit wonky as Philza stumbled a bit.  The blond straightens up and grins as he sees Technoblade.  Technoblade raises a hand in greeting, not getting up from where he sits.  "Hullooo."

"What are you doing out in the snow?"  Philza walks over as Technoblade takes the hint and scoots over to give Philza a spot to sit.

"Just taking a breather," Technoblade answers, his voice a practiced monotone.  "I was getting, ah, cabin fever sitting around in there for too long."

Philza snickers and shakes his head.  "Sure you were.  Are you actually taking that break like I said you should?"

"Uh, yeah.  I think so."  

"Don't sound too confident there, mate."

"I mean, I'm out here, aren't I?  Just sitting here, doing nothing.  No plans, no scheming.  Just good ol' fashioned sitting.  And thinking."

"I see."  Philza hums thoughtfully, looking around him to see if anything was out of place.  "I never took you as one who actually enjoyed resting.  If anything, you're more restless than most folks tend to be."  A pause.  "Though I suppose that may be because of the voices."

"Nah, they're calmer now.  Well, as calm as they could be.  Doomsday really quenched that thirst for blood.  Imagine being told, 'hey, your host guy is going into retirement, nothing you can do about it now', and then suddenly he's out there destroying an entire country and killing so many people in a war.  Felt like I was handing them the largest oasis in the middle of a desert."  Technoblade was expecting Philza to laugh at his little joke, but instead, he was met with an oddly guilty look in the avian's eyes.

"For what it's worth," Philza says softly, "I thought it was real good of you to try retirement.  It's not your fault it didn't work out.  You were literally pulled out of it."  Philza's wing curls around Technoblade, bringing him closer to Philza even as the avian seems to close himself off.  "...You know, they only found you because of me.  I didn't hide your compass well enough, so they found it.  You could have stayed in retirement."  

"...It probably wouldn't have lasted too long," Technoblade tries to soothe.  "You know me- maybe I wouldn't be out there dismantling corrupt governments, but I'd probably get into a fight or two.  I'd get- maybe just a little restless, and- I mean, I wouldn't necessarily hunt someone down for sport, but I'd probably get into some kinda match.  It's not like retirement would stop the voices from demanding blood."

"Still doesn't change the fact that it happened."  Philza frowns, keeping his eyes on the ground as Technoblade watches him.  "Still doesn't change the fact they caught and executed you."

Oh.  Right.

"Phil, it wasn't your fault."

"Feels like it was."  Philza pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his arms on his knees, hiding half his face and muffling his voice.  "Feels like I should have done better.  Or fought harder.  Felt kinda pathetic when I got locked up in my house."

                                                                      techno do something

                     philza sadza :(

                                                                                                                                                                                                            comfort him

                                                                                                                     comfort him

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         comfort him

                                                                     sadza :(

                                                                                                                                                         techno do something!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       sadza makes us sad too

Agreed.  But Technoblade wasn't exactly a comfort master.  It was one of the few things he was actually weak at.  If anything, Philza was the man people turned to for comfort.  Who would even turn to a piglin hybrid for comfort anyways?

                                                                                                                                                                             philza would

The sentence repeats in various levels of volume.  Technoblade bites back a groan.  What was he supposed to say?  'Sorry you got caught, I never blamed you but also get good old man?'  He knows he's going to cushion it with a poor joke, it's just instinct at this point.  Hide his concern and emotions behind a funny quip so that no one takes him too seriously.  

                                                                                                                                   just say that, he'll understand

                              No tell him you blame him for sucking so much

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  give him a gapple

                                                                                                                                                                                                         what if just e

                   e

                                                                                                                     e

                                                     e

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                guys stop he needs help

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                e

                                                                                                                                             e

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              e

                                                                                                                                                                                      e

                                                                       Techno just say that

                                 e

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                e

The Es were getting out of control so he elected to ignore the rest of them.  But at least a few of the voices were encouraging?  He thinks?  He's not sure if he can trust them, but he didn't want to leave Philza feeling like this.  It just wasn't right.  "Y'know, I never blamed you for what happened.  I mean- okay, getting caught by teenagers, your grandson, and a duck is sorta- sorta cringe, but you're also an old man so it's to be expected that they bully you like that."

Philza snorts and Technoblade brightens at the laugh.  "Shut."

"I'm just saying."  He gently nudges Philza with a grin.  "Kids, they be bullying."

"Quackity is not a kid."

"Yeah, but it's the vibes that count."  That earns another laugh from Philza which brightens Technoblade's mood.  "Maybe if he didn't suck so bad at combat, I wouldn't be calling him a kid."

"Yeah, I suppose so."  Philza slowly lowers his legs down and unravels himself.  "I guess it's just- it was a lot that happened in one day.  One minute my house is getting ransacked with my own grandson in the mix, and the next minute, I'm watching my best friend being executed."

Technoblade does his best not to flinch at the mention of his execution.  Right, Philza had a front row seat to that event.  He pushes aside his own feelings about his execution to focus on Philza instead.

                                                                                                                                                         REPRESSION ALERT

Shut up.

"At least it was quick," Technoblade says easily, as if it made anything about that situation any better.

Philza flinches at that.  "I would hope so.  I just..."  The avian trails off, looking distant as his voice gets low and uncomfortable.  "I'd never felt so....  It wasn't.  It wasn't good.  Seeing you trapped like that.  And feeling so... helpless about it, that just made everything else worse.  I wish I'd fought back.  I wish I'd done... something."

For once, even the voices are silent as Technoblade's chest grows tight.  He can't imagine being in Philza's position.  Hell, he could barely stomach the sight of Philza trapped in his own house with that... shackle around his ankle.  It was wrong.  Horrible.  "...Yeah."

"It's just-"  Philza's hand flies up to his head, his hat toppled off as his hand digs into his hair in distress.  "I got so used to being there to cover your back that, when I couldn't-"

"...It felt wrong."  Technoblade could relate.  Even if it was just a little bit, he could relate.  It was the first time either of them had failed to be at the other's side.  Technoblade never wants to repeat that experience again.  

"Yeah," Philza agrees.  "It felt wrong."

Neither of them can muster a word after that.  What else was there to say?  It sucked for both of them, and neither of them want a repeat of that terrible day.  

Philza's wing is warm where it's draped over his shoulder.  Wordlessly, he leans against his friend's side and turns his gaze up at the night sky.  The little pinpricks of light give him something to focus on as he feels Philza lean back against him.  His eyes catch sight of a familiar constellation - Gemini, the Twins.  As if sensing his intentions, the voices rouse up in whispers as if to be respectful of the mood.

                          storytime?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Techno are you about to break out another Greek myth?

                                                                                                                                            of course he'd pick the twins

                        so who here is a gemini raise your hand right now

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Storytime storytime!

"Hey, Phil."

"Yeah, mate?"

"You ever heard of the story of Castor and Pollux?"

Philza shifts beside him.  "I might have, but refresh me anyways."

"Alright, old man.  You don't have to lie to me."  Technoblade grins, knowing the old immortal was more than just humoring him.  "I know you know about Gemini."

"Sue me," Philza snorts.  "Maybe I want to hear how you tell the story."

"See, this is why we're friends.  You clearly see how superior my storytelling is versus everyone else.  Not even Homer has one on me."

A real laugh comes from Philza, rewarding Technoblade for his efforts.  "Get off your high horse and tell me about Castor and Pollux.  I know you want to tell it."

"Alright, alright, no need to rush me."  Technoblade straightens up, his eyes firmly fixated on the constellation above them as he speaks.  "So, Castor and Pollux - as you know, they were twins that were born with a mixed sorta parentage.  No one really agrees on if it was Zeus or this guy named Tyndareus who fathered the twins, so they just said that Zeus fathered Pollux, and Tyndareus fathered Castor.  This little set up is what leads to one of the twins, Pollux, being immortal, while his twin, Castor, is born mortal."

"Convenient storytelling," Philza responds, nodding along.

"Isn't all storytelling just a little bit convenient?"  He can hear the voices rising up in volume about the inconsistencies already in his storytelling, but he chooses to ignore them and continues to share the story he learned through all of his studies.  "But anyways, these two were pretty close.  They'd go on adventures together, and at one point they kidnap their cousins' betrothed brides-to-be and have kids with them.  Thus begins the family feud between the twins and their cousins.  They get into this competition regarding a herd of cows, and the twins lose to their cousins, so their cousins take the herd for themselves.  But the twins can't have that, so they wait for the right time to strike and attempt to steal the herd from their cousins.  Their cousins find out and, long story short, a fight breaks out."  He pauses.  Technoblade can feel Philza looking at him expectantly.  Waiting for him to tell the ending.

They both know how it ends, after all.

"...Castor was fatally wounded.  Pollux is saved by a bolt of lightning from Zeus, and their cousins end up dead by the end of the fight.  But this leaves Pollux holding his dying brother in his arms."  Technoblade takes a deep breath in and pulls his eyes away from the constellation to look at Philza.  They both know where this story goes.  "Castor was the mortal brother, while Pollux was the immortal one.  Faced with the impending loss of his brother, Pollux was given a choice: either Pollux could keep his immortality and spend the rest of his life in Olympus with Zeus and the other Olympians, or Pollux could give half of his immortality to his brother."

The answer was so obvious.  So simple, in the narrative sense.  The twins were closer than any other pair, always doing things together.  So when fate decided it was time to separate the two, the immortal one was given a choice.

It was so obvious.

But what did Castor think of the choice?  Was he happy to be alive, to spend more time with his brother?  Or did his love for his twin make him feel guilt instead, having taken away his twin's chance at living with the rest of the Olympians, dining on ambrosia and nectar?

Philza picks up where he leaves off easily.  "And Pollux chose to give half of his immortality to his brother."

"...Right."

"And together, they stayed united in the heavens, never to be apart again."  Philza wraps an arm around Technoblade's shoulders, just under his wing as he holds the piglin hybrid close.  "And thus, they became the constellation of Gemini."

"The Twins."

"It's a good story," Philza says with a smile in his voice.  "A happy ending, in my opinion."

"...I guess."

"You guess?"

"I mean-"  He hesitates, unsure of how to voice his thoughts.  "It's just- when you think about it, it's a story of sacrifice, isn't it?"

"In a sense."

"The immortal sacrifices a bit of his life for the mortal he cares about."

"Yeah.  I can see that."

"But do you ever think... do you ever think that the mortal - Castor, in this case - would feel bad for making his twin make that decision?"

"...I can see why that could happen."  Philza hums thoughtfully.  "But I think Pollux would make the same choice over and over again, if given the chance.  Even if Castor died every other day, Pollux would give up every part of his immortality if it meant being with his brother again."

"Do you think Castor would be able to live with that?"

"Maybe, maybe not.  But you know, after a certain point, he's gotta acknowledge the lengths that Pollux would go through just for him.  After all, if Castor were in Pollux's shoes, don't you think he'd make the same decision as well?"

He would.  Without a doubt, he would.  "Yeah."

And Philza grins, bright and content.  "Then, in spite of the tragedy, they get to have a happy ending."

"Hmm."  Technoblade can feel his tail swish from where it lays.  "Yeah.  I guess it is a happy ending."

Snow begins to fall as the two sit in comfortable silence.  The light from inside his cabin illuminates their backs as Philza's wings act like a warm blanket around them.  

It's peaceful.  This was the kind of life Technoblade had wanted when he first decided he wanted to retire.  All he wanted was this - his best friend by his side, the familiar cold of the arctic, and the quiet isolation that came with the snow.  And he could have had all of this.  If it weren't for that army, things would have been so much more peaceful.  He wouldn't be feeling like this, Philza wouldn't be feeling like this.  Which, now that he thinks about it...

"Hey, Phil."

"Hm?"

"You know what's great about you moving in with me?"

"What?"

"We can watch each other's backs easy now.  There'll be no way anybody can get the jump on us now."

"True, true!"  Philza laughs, jostling his wings in the process.  "I guess we have less to worry about now."

"Yeah- hey, by the way, where are you sleeping?"

A playful smirk curls on Philza's face.  "I could show you."

"Hm.  Hmm.  Y'know, something tells me I don't actually want to know."

"It'll be fine, mate!  It's getting a bit too cold out here for me anyways.”  Philza reaches down and picks up his fallen hat, putting it back onto his head.  “Let's head in before either of us catch a nasty cold."

"Alright."  He gently shrugs off Philza's wing and immediately misses the warmth as he instantly starts to shiver.  The voices murmur in his head as he makes his way back up the stairs, idly picking up Toothpick from where he left it propped up against the wall.  It's only when he opens the door and is greeted by the sight of the anvil sitting right where he can see it that he remembers why he was even outside to begin with.  

He freezes up on the spot, eyes locked onto the anvil as Philza runs into his back with a soft "oof" sound.  Oh right.  He forgot about this new thing about himself.  Already, he feels the headache growing in his skull, a pressure pushing down on his head as he grips Toothpick tightly.  

This isn't even the same anvil, and he's already feeling that sense of dread creep back into his chest.  It's not the same, it's not the same.

"Techno?"

It's not even hovering over his head!  It's just sitting there, menacingly.  Except not it’s not a menace because it's on the floor, where it can't even hurt him.  It's not the same.

And yet.

"Tech?  You alright, mate?"  Philza's hand lands on his arm, and he flinches from the contact.  Philza pulls back instantly just as Technoblade spins on his heel with an apology already on the tip of his tongue.

"Phil- sorry, it's just uh, I got like, this huge bruise on my arm from when I was out getting some... stuff," he lies lamely.  Although there is clear concern in Philza's eyes, he still raises an eyebrow at his rushed lie.

"Techno..."  Philza says slowly, "What's going on?"

It's not often Technoblade finds himself feeling uneasy.  He tries not to squirm under Philza's gaze, despite being larger than the avian.   Philza's sharp, blue eyes study him closely, the sharpness melting away into soft worry when Technoblade still doesn't speak up.  "Aw, mate..."

"It's nothing," Technoblade finally mumbles, averting his gaze to anywhere but Philza and the anvil.  "I just... I have a real bad headache."

"From the voices?"

"No, not from them this time."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   tell him

                                                      Techno tell him

                                                                                                        trust philza he can help

                       technoscared

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              No, technohurt

                                                                                                                                                                                                      technohurt

                                                                                                                                                      technohurt

                                                             gapples can't fix this

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     techno, tell him

   he'll understand

                                                                                                                                                                                              He trusted us now you have to trust him

                                                                                     guys i dont think he can say anything

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      technohurt

                                         he cant

The murmuring of the voices grow louder as they realize something he doesn't want to acknowledge.  A lump forms in his throat, and no matter how hard he swallows, it just won't go away.  "It's- it's nothing major.  Really."

Philza's expression shows that he doesn't buy it.  "...How 'bout you sit down a bit, yeah?"  The avian leads Techno over to a worn couch and has him sit.  From there, the older man fusses over Technoblade, looking over him and confirming that there is no large, nasty bruise on his arm.  Which begs the question - why did he flinch?

                                                                                                                                                             you know why

Shut up.

                                                                                              Rude

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Rude

                    so rude

                                                                                                                                                                                                        we're just trying to help

                                                                                                                                    rude

Despite their words, Chat's voices just make the headache worse.  He groans and holds a hand up to his head, hoping the external pressure might relieve something inside his skull.  Something smooth is pressed into his free hand, and he looks down to see a gapple being handed to him by Philza.  "Did you get this from my own storage?"  He tries to joke, but his voice comes out strained as he grips the fruit tightly.  A chorus of "it won't help" echoes through his mind.  Still, he takes a bite of the gapple.

As healing effects of the golden fruit wash over him, he realizes that for once, Chat was telling the truth.  He feels exactly the same as before.  The headache didn't even subside just a tiny bit.

"Nah, that's from my own pockets."  There's no light tone in Philza's voice, a crease forming between his eyes as he notices Technoblade still in pain.  "That didn't help?"

"Uhhhh..."  He doesn't want to admit that Philza just wasted a perfectly good gapple on him.  His eyes dart around the room, trying to figure out what else to say about the pain in his skull.  The anvil sits perfectly within his field of vision, and he knows he must have stared a little too long before Philza turns around and spots exactly what the piglin hybrid was staring at.  He stiffens in place before his shoulders slump with realization.

"Oh.  Of course."  

"Phil, listen.  It's not a big deal-"

"That's real funny coming from you."  Philza cuts off his assurance with a stern tone before his face softens.  "...Sorry.  Didn't mean to come off as short with you."

"Nah, it's fine."

"It's not really."  Philza sighs before turning his attention fully onto Technoblade.  "How long has this headache been going on for?"

"Honestly?"  Technoblade thinks back to when the pain first started happening.  It must have been recently, right?  He was able to ignore the phantom pains before when his mind was preoccupied with plans and schemes.  But now?  Now, his brain has nothing to distract it from the pain.  "...Must have started up after the execution.  But, uh, it never really bothered me much 'til now."

"That still doesn't bring me much comfort."  Philza rubs at his stubble in tired thought.  "Well, first thing's first, the anvil has to go."

"Where are you going to put it?"

"Somewhere we don't have to look at it for a while.  Storage, maybe.  Although, I would prefer just to destroy it."

"But it's a perfectly good anvil," Technoblade argues, earning a bemused look from Philza.  His blue eyes drift down to the pickax held tightly in his hand before something clicks.  

"Tech, can I see that pickax of yours?"  

"Uh, sure."  Technoblade hands Toothpick over.

Philza hefts it onto his palm and examines it.  He must have seen the chipping on the edges of the head as the realization melts into understanding.  "I see.  Let me take care of this first, and then I'll relocate the anvil."

"You don't gotta do that, Phil."

"Nah, mate.  Just relax and let me handle this."  Philza puts the pickax on the anvil and rifles through his pockets and bag for supplies.  Despite everything looking normal, the sense of dread still doesn't leave Technoblade's chest.  It irritates him beyond belief that he just can't get over this.  The half eaten gapple remains in his hand, the fruit being rendered useless thanks to his own head refusing to find any calm in this situation.  Philza spares a glance back at Technoblade as he pulls the supplies needed to fix the pickax.  "Techno, catch this for me."

"Hm?"  Technoblade watches as Philza pulls out one last item - something gold - and tosses it to him.  He catches it, the totem fitting perfectly in his hand.  Its golden form catches the light from the room, keeping Technoblade's attention on it while Philza works.  The totem is... oddly comforting to have in his hand.  It thrums with life and is warm to the touch.  Emerald eyes stare back at him as he studies it closely.  To be honest, he'd never really given the items much thought before.  Hadn't really needed them up until... that day.

The fact that they're shaped like a person doesn't escape his notice as his fingers fit around its form.  He wonders why it's made of gold - the Greek enthusiast inside of him wants to say that the gold mimics the ichor of the gods, which is why they allow the holder to cheat death if momentarily.  He squeezes the totem tightly in his hand.

Death wasn't pleasant.  That's the one thing about cheating death that no one likes to talk about - you remember what happened at the moment of your death.  The memory of the anvil falling on top of him makes Technoblade feel ill.  It was heavy and sudden and entirely painful for that split second of awareness before the totem pulled him out from the grips of death.  The worst part was recovering from the pain as the totem stitched him back together much too quickly for his feeble brain to keep up with.  Adrenaline was his best friend - it kept him up and moving and got him out of there just in time before he could fully crash.  Kept the pain at bay until after he dealt with... that brat.  Afterwards, when he collapsed in bed, all the pain came rushing back all at once.  The pain from his death.  The pain from the instant recovery.  The pain from escaping the botched execution and his fight with Quackity.

It still makes him sick just thinking about it.  

A hand wraps around his, drawing him out of his daze.  He blinks and looks up to see Philza's sympathetic gaze.  A soft smile is on his face as he squeezes Technoblade's hand.  "Hey, mate."

"...Hullo."

"You alright?"

Technoblade looks down at his hand and finds the totem digging painfully into his hand.  Philza's hand helps to loosen his grip, but he doesn't take the totem back.  The gapple, or what remains of it, is squeezed into a golden pulp.  Juices drip from his fingers as he drops the mangled fruit completely on the ground.  "...Yeah.  I'm alright."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about?"  He tries to be nonchalant, but the quiver in his voice betrays him.  

"Hm."  Philza takes a seat next to him and says nothing else.  

Taking advantage of the silence, Technoblade looks around the room.  His eyes land on the pickax looking pristine and perfect.  It leans against the wall where... huh.  The anvil is nowhere to be seen.  He blinks and rubs his eyes, looking around the room again.

Yup.

It's... gone.  In its place is Toothpick, the pickax looking as though it had always been propped in that spot.  An odd wave of relief washes over him, and his shoulders relax from the tense position he didn't even realize they were in.  Philza clearly knows, however, judging by the look on his face as he watches Technoblade finally breathe.

Still.  The avian doesn't push him to speak.  

Technoblade swallows and turns his gaze back to the totem in his hand.  His thumb rubs over the emerald eyes set in the item.  It reminds him of the matching pair of emeralds both he and Philza wear.  Subconsciously, his hand reaches up to the emerald earring he wears.  Like the totem, his thumb rubs over the familiar gem that hangs from his ear.  "Hey, Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you get this totem?"

"From a raid."  The avian shrugs his shoulders.  "Held onto it for emergencies.  But I've got a few more in my chests, so you can keep that one."

Technoblade wonders just how much "a few more" Philza actually has.  He knows better than to question him as it'll get him nowhere.  Philza will merely smile and sidestep the question easily without giving him an actual answer.  The piglin hybrid continues to hold onto the totem.

"Do you ever wonder how these work?"

"I reckon it has to do with evoker magic."  

"It's strange."  He remembers the totem exploding from his grasp as it activated, and even now he wonders just what triggers it to pop like that.  "For something so small, it sure does pack a lot of life in it."

"Does it?"

"Yeah."  He remembers the sparkles that clouded his vision when he was pulled out of that black abyss.  It was gold and green, just like the totem itself.  "It kinda just- forces everything that makes you you back into place.  Like it hits rewind on your life until you're whole again."

"Sounds painful."

"It was," Technoblade admits.  "But I didn't get a chance to register it until I was safe."

"Mm."

The voices were frantic when he came back to life.  Where do the voice go when he dies, now that he thinks about it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         nowhere

                                                                                                                      Everywhere

                                                                                                                                                                                                        with you

                                                             Without you

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We stay 

                                                                                                                                                      we go

                     but we dont want to leave

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            we dont want to leave

                                                                                                   we belong with you 

    we belong with you

                                                                                                                                                                                          and you belong with us

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       one of us

                                                           One of us

                                                                                                                      Always

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  One of Us

          we cant be without you here

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ONE OF US

                                                                                                                                                                        youre of us

That both explains nothing and everything at the same time.  He makes an amused huff and shakes his head.  Philza tilts his head to the side, a question in his eyes as he watches Technoblade.  He doesn't answer his friend's question.  At least, not yet.  He knows he owes Philza an explanation, but how can he explain something he's still struggling with?  This was new, this wasn't the age old bloodlust and urges for violence and death.  This was different.  This left an impression on Technoblade.

For Technoblade had died.  For a short moment of time, he had died to an anvil that hung over his head.  For a single day, he felt what it was like to be treated like prey.  For once, Technoblade felt genuine fear and dread as he had gripped that totem tightly in his hand, hoping that this last ditch effort would be enough to stay true to his motto.

It was something new.  Something terrifying.  He doesn't want to experience it ever again. 

He hides his face in his hands, the totem Philza gave him still in his hand as it digs into his cheek.  "You know," he begins, voice cracking as he speaks to Philza, "I don't think I enjoy death much."

"No, I don't think many people do."

"It was awful."

"Yeah."

"It... sucked."

"Hm, eloquent."  Philza teases him lightly, drawing a puff of laughter from Technoblade.

"I can't be eloquent all the time, Phil.  Not every moment needs to be a speech worthy one.  Or a monologue-y one."

"No, it doesn't," Philza agrees.  A wing curls around Technoblade protectively, and the piglin instinctively leans into his friend.  "But it does speak volumes to how you're feeling."

"And what are the volumes telling you?"

"That you're feeling like shit."

A proper laugh escapes him.  "Yeah.  Yeah I am."

"Figures."  A hand clasps his shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze.  "No one really handles death easily.  It's always a scary experience.  And then being pulled back from the dead?  No one ever talks about how jarring that can be."

Technoblade lifts his eyes from his hands and looks at Philza.  "Have you died before?"

"Once.  Before I became... this."  He gestures to himself, but his hands seem to emphasize the black wings on Philza's back.  "I was mortal.  And more than anything, I wanted to fly with the birds.  I worked hard at it and then one day, I did it.  Managed to fly with my own contraption, and while in the sky, I had my own Icarus moment."  Philza's eyes grow distant as he recalls the memory.  "That feeling you get when you realize you're about to die is... unpleasant.  It's hard to overcome for the longest time.  It sticks with you.  Reminds you that there's consequences to a single misstep, to a single oversight, to a single person with the intent to kill."  A pause.  And then a deep breath.  Despite the heavy topic, Philza still manages to smile as he turns to Technoblade.  "But then you remember you're still alive.  Once you remember, you start to heal.  The dread lingers less and less, and instead of fearing that feeling, you learn from it.  You learn how to breathe again.  The sensation of falling stops terrifying you, and you learn to brace yourself for the impact.  You find the things that exude safety, and you keep them in your pocket.  You find comfort in different places so that when you need it most, you know where to look.  You learn.  You heal.  And the next time you face death, you're more prepared to handle it on the chin.  And then," Philza smirks, "you figure out how to get yourself out.  Like you always do."

Technoblade blinks.  Once.  Twice.  And he breathes.  "Like I always do."

"Yeah, mate."  Philza stands up and stretches, his wings flaring out and revealing his healing scars and missing feathers.  He then tucks his wings back against his back and reaches a hand out to Technoblade.  "But it takes time, and that's okay.  I won't let you take this on by yourself.  Like you said, we've got each other's backs.  Now more than ever."

Without hesitation, Technoblade takes Philza's hand and lets him pull him up.  Technoblade stumbles from the momentum, making Philza laugh which makes him laugh.  Once they calm down, Technoblade shakes his head and slips the totem into his pocket.  "Whatever you say, old man."

"Hey, you can't say that to me when I'm getting sentimental here."

"You?  Getting sentimental?  Talk about cringe.  Isn't that cringe, Chat?"

A chorus of "cringe" and "get his ass" echo in Technoblade's mind, and he laughs at the barrage of ribbing that Philza will never get to hear.

"Oh, come on now."  Philza rolls his eyes but takes the teasing with a smile.  "Enough of that.  Let's just get to bed before the sun starts to rise."

"Yeah yeah.  Old man and his bedtime."  Technoblade starts heading upstairs, Philza following suit.  This catches Technoblade's attention as he recalls Philza's dubious sleeping arrangements.  "So uh, are you actually going to show me where you sleep?"

"Obviously."  Philza scoffs as they make it to Technoblade's only upstairs room.  "Surprised you never noticed me sleeping under your bed."

"...HEH?"

With a wheeze, Philza doubles over with laughter as Technoblade quickly checks under his bed for a nest.  Nothing is found, which leaves him feeling just a little stupid for falling for Philza's prank.  "I'm kidding.  I sleep on the couch and get up before you do."

"...Then why did you follow me up here?"

Philza leans against the door frame with a smirk, his hat shadowing his eyes as he watches Technoblade.  "How else am I supposed to pull off my prank?"

"Okay.  That's it.  Friend rights are REVOKED, get outta here!"  Technoblade grabs a pillow and throws it squarely at Philza's face, laughing as the older man squawks and stumbles backwards.

"Okay okay!  I'm leaving!"

"Good night, Philza!"

"Night, Techno!"  Philza takes the pillow with him as he heads back down.  

Technoblade listens to his fading footsteps before finally settling down in bed.  Quietly, he pulls the totem back out of his pocket and studies it again.  ..."Find comfort in different places," huh?  He thinks about it as his thumb rubs against the totem's emerald eyes.  Well, he has to start someplace.

He puts the totem down on his bedside table before closing his eyes to rest.

Green.

He thinks he'll start with finding comfort in the color green.

[voicesfortheblade]

As we're hitting the final weekend before the deadline, we're ramping up the contributor highlights. The last writer we're putting in the spotlight this year is @jubilantwriter / @jubilantscribbler , who will be one of the many creators tackling a prompt this time around!

[jubilantwriter]

Kiss the Fish

(Written for @ensquare-events's Good Enough #2: Issue of Skill zine. Anti-beta/vandalism reader: @afterreign)

(AO3)

Summary:

For Ingo, it’s just a normal day out in the training fields, accepting challenges and requests to embark on another Path of Solitude. Today, however, is slightly different, as a familiar fisherman approaches him with a cheerful smile and an excited red fish in his arms. Oh dear. Well, he’s sure Rod knows what’s about to happen to his magikarp if he wishes to partake in this challenge, right? Well. Here’s to hoping that Ingo is able to provide an award fitting enough for the challenge that is about to happen.

Word Count: 3250

Bonus Tags: Original Character/Canon Character; Loving Parody; Established Relationship; Slice of Life; Romantic Fluff; Purposely Badly Written; Meant to Parody Early 2000s Amateur Writing; Crack; Plot Inconsistencies

----

A/N: OMG its been so long since ive written a fic plz no hate >,< neways this is my oc rod he's a cool country cowboy who likes fishing and stuff.  ask me about him XDDDD LOOOOL and i ship him with ingo cause he's so kewl <3  this is a yaoiz fic WITH my oc BTW SO DONT LIEK DONT READ neywas enjoy! 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANY of the pokemon characters!!  they all belong to gamefreak EXCEPT for my oc, he belongs to me :P but everyone else belongs to gamefreak!!  plz do not sue kthxbai

------

"now this is some real nasty foolish business you got here," rod pouted, holding his magikarp close his chest as the gigantic fish wiggled happily in his arms.  the fisherman stood across from ingo on the training field, his curly brunette hair held together in a long ponytail that draped over his shoulder, a wide brimmed straw hat protecting his face from the sun.  despite this, his arms and legs were still tanned from all the days he spent fishing out in the sun.  his shorts and shirt have long since been faded and stained by the salty ocean that the man called home.  Long, pale scars decorate the calves of his legs, the remains of a tentacruel attack being a cruel reminder of the dangers at sea peek beyond the tabi socks he wears with his sandals.  today, the warden couldnt help but notice that he was wearing a diamond clan sweater underneath his iconic, flowery shirt (A/N: FYI its a hawaiian shirt!!  they just don’t know its called that because of REASONS its the memory loss lol).  the silvernette would tease him about his selection today had it not been for the fact that he must now calm the fisherman after their battle.

…despite the fact that said fisherman had agreed to the trial in the first place.

ingo sighed as the fish glubbed back at him, the ashes from teh previous excerise still coating the pokemon like a poorly made blanket.

"you agreed to this," ingo stated, his arms crossed as he stared at the fisherman umimpressed.  "i clearly told you the rules and regulations for the path of solitude and you still agreed."

"don't mean i gotta like it,"  rod continues to pout as he cuddles the fish in his arms, his odd accent nearly making ingo break his stern expression into one of endearment.  "despite it all, you still showed that self-imploding orb what for."  

the fish pokemon glubs back at him with happiness in its normally blank eyes, looking much like the (eue) emoji.

yeah.

ingo sighs and shakes his head, a fond little half smile on his face.  "regardless, it was a job well done.  bravo!  sir splashalot has reached the final station on its path of solitude."  a cheering from a nonexistent audience is heard from no where as ingo's gliscor clacks its claws together in a mock clap.  rod's magikarp leaps out from his arm in victory, soaring into the sky…

only to flop pathetically onto the training grounds ground.  ingo hides a chuckle behind a hand as rod shakes his head affectionately.  "now look at you, getting dirt all over yourself."

magikarp wriggles on the ground like an overexcited pup experiencing mud for the first time.  "you wanna walk than?"

the magikarp gurgles in response.  how a magikarp could possibly walk is beyong the imagination, but you'll just have to use it for the time being.  the wonders of reading!

"heading back already?"  ingo tilts his head to the side, the silvernette using his stoic face to his advantage.  "it's barely noon."

"well i gotta get some supplies before i head back.  as much as i love fishing, there's only so much the ocean can offer me 'fore i start going getting a lil kooky from dehydration."

"of course.  dehydration is pretty terrible."

"gotta hydrate before you dydrate,"  rod nods sagely.   "i don't remember where i heard that phrase."

"neither do i but it sounds right."

"yeah."

they fall into a comfortable silence.  well as comfortable as it could get while rod's magikarp continues to flop relentlessly around the training grounds.  as rod watches the fish fondly "chase" after ingo's gliscor, ingo clears his throat, grabbing the fisherman's attention. 

"i don't suppose you'd require my STRONG assitance in getting supplies?"

"huh?"  rod blinks slowly at his offer, ingo's heart going dokidoki as rod's deep brown orbs stared deeply into his own grey ones.  

rod tilts his head to the side, his ponytail slipping off his shoulder as he thinks.  and then.

he smiles.

"sure, why not?"  the brunette walks over casually.  "it'd be nice to spend a lil more time together, right?"

and ingo smiles, the corners of his mouth uplifted as he offers his arm to rod.

"indeed."

(JUMPCUT TO JUBILIFIE VILLAGE BECAUSE I’M BAD AT TRANSISTIONS XD)

AT THe shops, rod carefully go through what supplies he needs while counting what coins he has left.  ingo meanwhile couldn't help but notice a little bottle on display at choy's store.  while rod was perusing the vegetables, ingo holds up the small bottle, letting the sunlight catch the glass.

"interested?"  choy approaches him with a smile, already ready to make a sale.  "it was an idea haha MAI WIFE (borat voice) came up with actually."  he stands next to ingo as they both admire the bottle.  in it lay sparkly particles, just as find as sand but with a shimmery quality to them.  as ingo turns and tips the bottle this way and that, it reveals little, colorful pieces of shards drifting about in the fine, shimmery dust.  

"that is a bottle of stardust." choy explains as ingo continues to admire the trinket.  "inside are pieces of shards provided so helpfully by akari.  my wifey calls it a good luck charm, meant to grant safe travels and happiness to those who carry it."  choy smiles when ingo turns to him.

"safe travels?"

"indeed, valued customer.  it would make a good gift for anyone who travels over these dangerous lands."

safe travels...

ingo looks over to rod, the fisherman now combing through the available fruits for sale.  he picks up a honey cake, a longing smile on his face before he puts it down and instead picking up some berries for his fish.  it doesnt slip his notice that rod picks up more pecha berries than oran berries, the scarring on his legs a reminder of dangers of the ocean.  and somehow, rod is okay with living in the middle of the ocean, secluded from everyone else while surrounded by the one pokemon that nearly led to his demise when he first arrived here.

and he still insists on boating to and fro from his hidden little sea cave as if nothing bad could ever happen again.

(A/N: mega bummerooni :( Ingo: your ruining my internal monologue bruuuuuuuhh it’s fine (¬_¬ ) now go back into the fic!1)

safe travels.

ingo grips the little bottle tightly,  "how much for this charm?"

"ahhh~ for a valued customer as yourself?  for the amount of work that went into as well as the scarcity of the items needed for the charm... about 10,000 gold coins."

ingo stares at choy like this (ಠ_ಠ)

"...i would say 7500 at best.""you drive a hard bargain, dear customer.  but i won't go lower then 9500.""i know miss akari, and i know where she gets the... materials for this trinket.  8000.""8500."

"fair enough."  ingo digs around in his pouch and counts out the coins needed.  "8500 coins."

"money well spent," choy says, counting out the coins with a smile.  "Now... i assume the trinket is for a special someone?"

"ah..."  Ingo doesn't say much more than that, his gaze barely trailing over to rod as choy grins.

"im not sure why you try to hide it, dear warden.  i'm sure even youre clan leader knows of yor ties with him."

ingo pulls down the visor of his cap with embarassment.  its not that they try to hide it.  it's just that... they were both very private people.  and a bunch of chatty Kathies crowding around them asking if they planning starting a family together always felt..

invasive.  an unnecessary pressure.  and rod was a very solitary man, despite his love for the people he surrounds himself with.  ingo clears his throat.  "we like to keep the matter between the two of us.  that is all."

(A?N: ugh rumors suck guys and it totally ruins the vibe huh :/ just like when i was in high school LOL those bullies are the WOOOOORST)

"of coures, of course."  choy nods solemnly, perhaps understanding his intention.  "now, before you go, i suggest one more addition to make this truly a charm."

"oh?"  ingo keeps a sign from escaping  him.  "will this addition cost additional money?"

"nono, not in the slightest.  consider it... on the house."  choy takes it out of his pocket (A/N LOL i was gonna write a whole thing about him going and looking for it but that was too much to write :P).  he presents a red, woven cord with a tassel at the end of it.  choy takes the trinket for ingo and carefully ties the cord around the neck  of the bottle.  once secured, he holds it up for ingo to see, the cord suspending the charm in the air almost elegantly.  "now that," Choy says produdly, "is a charm."  he hands it over to ingo who holds it delicately.

"thank you," ingo says softly, holding the trinket preciously in his hand.  "i truly appreciate it."

"of course.  anything for a valued customer,"  choy lightly pats his shoulder and pushes him towards rod.  "now, go impress your MAN with the wares you have."

ingo chuckles, a light blush on his features as he walks over to rod.  unsurprisingly, rod is yapping with choy's waifu, rod already exchanging money for the produce he picked out before choy's wife notices ingo approaching and nods towards him with a smile.  rod stops his chatting and turns towards ingo with a mareepish smile.  "sorry bout that." rod apologizes almost immediately, "guess i got distracted with catchin up.  hope i didnt make ya wait too long?"

"nonsense," ingo says, the charm held tightly in his hand.  "you could never make me wait for long……  in fact, id say that i find youre mepandering pace a breath of fresh air from the highspeed travels of life."

"ok?"  rod chuckles and shakes his head.  "crazy how some of the things you say make no sense while making all the sense at the same time."

"i would say the same for your odd metaphors ;)"

"hey now, you like my metaphors.  you find em, whatchacallit, 'intriguging and colorful, just like your shirt,' or some nonsense like that."

"ah but they are just as intriguing and coloful as your shirt."  Ingo lightly pokes at rod's faded shirt, the once bright colors bleached by the sun.  he could only imagine that the flowers that decorate his love's precious garment was once as vibrant as rods own smile. 

rod lightly bats away ingo's smile and hoists his bag of produce over hsi shoulder. 

"alright alright, lets leave these poor souls alone, less they gotta hear us bickering like a pair of rowdy machops fightin over the last pecha berry."

ingo chuckles and curls an arm around rod's, holding tightly to his hand.  "of course.  goodbye miss, tell youre husband his prices can be rediculous."

choy's wife laughs and waves them away,  "i will!  thank you both for your patronage."

(INSERT WALKING SCENE HERE)

"so," rod begins, his beautiful, brown orbs staring up at ingo's.  "didja get anythin for yerself?"

"well..."  ingo trails off, a musing tone to his voice as he capture's rod's intrigue.  "i may have purchased something of my own accord~"

"really?"  rod leans closer into ingo's side, his eyes looking over ingo's features as if to catch him in a lie.  "was it an actual thing for yerself?  or supplies?"

"...well."  ingo clears his throat.  "it's not supplies."

"so...?"

"it's a gift."

(A/N >:] now KISS Rod: IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THAT!! wtf !!  go back to the fic!!)

"a gift?"  rod brightns.  "oh!  is it for akari?  or maybe for rei?  heavens to betsy knows those two ragamuffins work themselves to the bone."  always thinking of others.  one of the many things that ingo admires about him, but just as well another reason to worry for his wellbeing.  "no, unfortunately not."  ingo looks around and spots a tree with a single wurmple napping underneath it.  he drags rod over to it, hiding the pair under its shade and disturbing the wurmple just a little bit.  "actually, it was a gift for you."

rod looks stunned.  "a gift for me?  whys that?"

"well lets just say... that i enjoy sharing this two-person cab with you.  and that maybe, i adore you.  just a little bit."

"aw shucks."  rod giggles.  "whoda thunk?  i adore ya too, just a touch~"

(A/N: ooooooo love confession WE’RE GETTING TO THE ROMANTIC PARTS TOMODACHI-SANS!!)

"thank you," ingo says sincerely, his heart going dokidoki harder even tho he's heard rod tell him his "i love you"s over and over again before.  "and because we adore each other, i wanted to give you this."  he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little charm, the bottle catching the rays of the sun and reflecting coloful patterns onto rods face.  rods eyes widen as he holds up his hands to hold hte bottle delicately.  "for you, my love."

"...oh."  rod doesn't have to say anything else, his eyes filling up with tears as he turns the bottle this way and that.  "its so pretty."

"its also a charm."  ingo tucks a lose strand of curly brown hair behind rod's ear, noting how cute his freckles are from this close up.  "a travel charm to be precise~"

"i aint never seen a travel charm in the shape of a bottle before."

"well, its the first of its kind."  ingo cups rods face and tilts it up so that his gaze meets his.  "just like you."

the rosy blush on rods face melts his heart as rod giggles again, a bright, mushy smile on his face as he leans into ingo's touch.  

"aw, shucks.  im not one of a kind, sunshine."

"but you are," ingo insists.  "you are the one and only rod, and there could never be another one like you~"

"mm, i guess."  rod presses a kiss to ingo's palm.  "just like how yer one of a kind too."

(A/N: AUGH they’re so KAWAII deSU NEEEE i wanna squeeze them to DEATH roflcopter)

"mm, i guess."  he rubs his thumb just under rod's eye affectionately, massaging the bags most overlook.  "now, this charm is meant to be tied somewhere, but i have no clue where.  would you mind giving me a hint?"

rod chuckles against his palm before finally lifting his face with a soft smile.  "sure.  lemme just..."  rod pulls at his clothing before looping a finger around a loop on his shorts.  "yknow, i never really figured what these were supposed to be for."

"i always thought sashes.  thats what i assumed the loops on my own pants were for."

"palina once joked that the loops were for rope.  something to tie on me so i dont go off and wander into danger."

"ahh, that joke could prove useful in the future."

"Don't."  rod wags a finger playfully at ingos face like the naughty houndour he is.  "i ain't no wild growlithe you can tie up to a post and forget about."

"but your much too memorable to forget about~"  ingo teases him as rod rolls his eyes before gesturing to the loops around his shorts.

"welp, guess i can finally make use of these."  

ingo nods and kneels down, tying the charm securely to one of the loops that hung just above a pocket.  knowning rod, the fisherman would probably fidget withthe itme and slip it into his pocket every once in a while.  hanging it there would just make the action easier to work with.  "there," ingo says, "safety checks completed."

rod makes an amused snort at that as ingo dusts himself up.  the bottle sags on the loop, and just as he figured, rod's hand slips down to hold onto the bottle before slipping it into his pocket.  "thank ya kindly."

"its my pleasure~"  his hand makes his way back to rods, the fisherman blinking slowly as ingo squeezes his hand.  "its quite quiet out here, dont you think?"

"mm."  rod tilting his head to the side, the brim of his straw hat catching on ingo's own.  "a  bit."

"would you mind?"  he speaks softly, softer then when hes in the mountains and wants to avoid attractign the attention of the rock types that lumbar around.  "if i stole a kiss from you?"

rod snorts, a hand rising up to push up both of their hats just enough to get the brims out of the way.  "no, i wouldnt mind at all."

(A/N: KISS KISS KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE~~!!!1!!)

"lovely."  ingo takes a step closer, their hats pushing up and off their heads as rod leans into the motion.  just before their lips meet and their tongues battled for dominance, a sticky spray hits ingo's cheek as he sqwauks in surprise.  he pulls away from rod and touches the remains of a string shot connected to a very annoyed and disgruntled wurmple.  rod laughs, light and delighted as ingo scowls and tries to rub the webbing off his face.

"aw, lil thing aint havin it with us," rod coos, helping ingo rub the rest of the attack off.

"yes, it would seem so," he grumbles, shooting a glare towards his laughing gliscor, the pokemon allowing the harmless attack to happen in the first place.  even the magikarp holds a mischevious glint in its eye as it jumps high into the air and bashes into the tree branches.

"aw jeez!"  rod rushes to catch his fish and sighs, looking only a little bit bemused by the turn of events.  "well, i guess that's as good as any sign to mosey on along, huh?"

ingo sighs in return, picking up their fallen hats.  he slides his back on while helping rod with his.  "indeed.  onwards, i suppose."

rod gives him a sympathetic smile.  "don't worry, sunshine.  we'll just kiss offscreen instead <3"

ingo snorts and shakes his head, looping an arm with rods as they walk away from the grumpy wurmple into the sunset.  "yes, i suppose we shall <3"

---

A/N: AND THEY KISSED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!  WASN'T THAT TOTES KAWAIII!!  N GUUYS, SAY HI TO THE AUDIENCE!!

Rod: Konnichi-howdy

Ingo: Greetings

wasn’t that an EPIC story@@!!

Rod: Would have been nice if the wurmple didn't ruin the moment

Ingo: Indeed

shut up both of you.  you guys can have craze smex offscreen or smth!!

Rod: Don't just announce that to the world!! >,<

well ur my oc so i can say watevr i want :P  neways, thx evry1 4 reading my fic!!! my mom is gonna be PISSED that i wrote this instead of doing my hw so as always, pl0z r&r!!  flames r welcomed!!  STAY AWESOME!! Okbaiiiii

Rod: And go do your hw!!

I AM SHUT UP!!!

----

(A/N: WOWIE ZOWIE ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! This time, it's the real deal. Anyways-

takes a drag off my candy cigarette YEAH SO this was written entirely in minecraft for a total of 64 pages with some post editing done in google docs since you can copy and paste in minecraft. that aside, it was fun writing this fic and being able to use those old little quirks that you'd sometimes see in early 2000s fics on ff.net. consider this my loving tribute to that website that's still somehow functioning, and to our childhoods if you're old enough for that.

Also, Rod is a very real and genuine OC of mine with a ref sheet and everything. Maybe one day I'll get around to posting more fics of him (I've got a few floating around here and there) if people are interested in him!

Thank you as always for reading! And bearing through this chaotic fic lol)

[jubilantwriter]

Kiss the Fish

(Written for @ensquare-events's Good Enough #2: Issue of Skill zine. Anti-beta/vandalism reader: @afterreign)

(AO3)

Summary:

For Ingo, it’s just a normal day out in the training fields, accepting challenges and requests to embark on another Path of Solitude. Today, however, is slightly different, as a familiar fisherman approaches him with a cheerful smile and an excited red fish in his arms. Oh dear. Well, he’s sure Rod knows what’s about to happen to his magikarp if he wishes to partake in this challenge, right? Well. Here’s to hoping that Ingo is able to provide an award fitting enough for the challenge that is about to happen.

Word Count: 3250

Bonus Tags: Original Character/Canon Character; Loving Parody; Established Relationship; Slice of Life; Romantic Fluff; Purposely Badly Written; Meant to Parody Early 2000s Amateur Writing; Crack; Plot Inconsistencies

----

A/N: OMG its been so long since ive written a fic plz no hate >,< neways this is my oc rod he's a cool country cowboy who likes fishing and stuff.  ask me about him XDDDD LOOOOL and i ship him with ingo cause he's so kewl <3  this is a yaoiz fic WITH my oc BTW SO DONT LIEK DONT READ neywas enjoy! 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ANY of the pokemon characters!!  they all belong to gamefreak EXCEPT for my oc, he belongs to me :P but everyone else belongs to gamefreak!!  plz do not sue kthxbai

------

"now this is some real nasty foolish business you got here," rod pouted, holding his magikarp close his chest as the gigantic fish wiggled happily in his arms.  the fisherman stood across from ingo on the training field, his curly brunette hair held together in a long ponytail that draped over his shoulder, a wide brimmed straw hat protecting his face from the sun.  despite this, his arms and legs were still tanned from all the days he spent fishing out in the sun.  his shorts and shirt have long since been faded and stained by the salty ocean that the man called home.  Long, pale scars decorate the calves of his legs, the remains of a tentacruel attack being a cruel reminder of the dangers at sea peek beyond the tabi socks he wears with his sandals.  today, the warden couldnt help but notice that he was wearing a diamond clan sweater underneath his iconic, flowery shirt (A/N: FYI its a hawaiian shirt!!  they just don’t know its called that because of REASONS its the memory loss lol).  the silvernette would tease him about his selection today had it not been for the fact that he must now calm the fisherman after their battle.

…despite the fact that said fisherman had agreed to the trial in the first place.

ingo sighed as the fish glubbed back at him, the ashes from teh previous excerise still coating the pokemon like a poorly made blanket.

"you agreed to this," ingo stated, his arms crossed as he stared at the fisherman umimpressed.  "i clearly told you the rules and regulations for the path of solitude and you still agreed."

"don't mean i gotta like it,"  rod continues to pout as he cuddles the fish in his arms, his odd accent nearly making ingo break his stern expression into one of endearment.  "despite it all, you still showed that self-imploding orb what for."  

the fish pokemon glubs back at him with happiness in its normally blank eyes, looking much like the (eue) emoji.

yeah.

ingo sighs and shakes his head, a fond little half smile on his face.  "regardless, it was a job well done.  bravo!  sir splashalot has reached the final station on its path of solitude."  a cheering from a nonexistent audience is heard from no where as ingo's gliscor clacks its claws together in a mock clap.  rod's magikarp leaps out from his arm in victory, soaring into the sky…

only to flop pathetically onto the training grounds ground.  ingo hides a chuckle behind a hand as rod shakes his head affectionately.  "now look at you, getting dirt all over yourself."

magikarp wriggles on the ground like an overexcited pup experiencing mud for the first time.  "you wanna walk than?"

the magikarp gurgles in response.  how a magikarp could possibly walk is beyong the imagination, but you'll just have to use it for the time being.  the wonders of reading!

"heading back already?"  ingo tilts his head to the side, the silvernette using his stoic face to his advantage.  "it's barely noon."

"well i gotta get some supplies before i head back.  as much as i love fishing, there's only so much the ocean can offer me 'fore i start going getting a lil kooky from dehydration."

"of course.  dehydration is pretty terrible."

"gotta hydrate before you dydrate,"  rod nods sagely.   "i don't remember where i heard that phrase."

"neither do i but it sounds right."

"yeah."

they fall into a comfortable silence.  well as comfortable as it could get while rod's magikarp continues to flop relentlessly around the training grounds.  as rod watches the fish fondly "chase" after ingo's gliscor, ingo clears his throat, grabbing the fisherman's attention. 

"i don't suppose you'd require my STRONG assitance in getting supplies?"

"huh?"  rod blinks slowly at his offer, ingo's heart going dokidoki as rod's deep brown orbs stared deeply into his own grey ones.  

rod tilts his head to the side, his ponytail slipping off his shoulder as he thinks.  and then.

he smiles.

"sure, why not?"  the brunette walks over casually.  "it'd be nice to spend a lil more time together, right?"

and ingo smiles, the corners of his mouth uplifted as he offers his arm to rod.

"indeed."

(JUMPCUT TO JUBILIFIE VILLAGE BECAUSE I’M BAD AT TRANSISTIONS XD)

AT THe shops, rod carefully go through what supplies he needs while counting what coins he has left.  ingo meanwhile couldn't help but notice a little bottle on display at choy's store.  while rod was perusing the vegetables, ingo holds up the small bottle, letting the sunlight catch the glass.

"interested?"  choy approaches him with a smile, already ready to make a sale.  "it was an idea haha MAI WIFE (borat voice) came up with actually."  he stands next to ingo as they both admire the bottle.  in it lay sparkly particles, just as find as sand but with a shimmery quality to them.  as ingo turns and tips the bottle this way and that, it reveals little, colorful pieces of shards drifting about in the fine, shimmery dust.  

"that is a bottle of stardust." choy explains as ingo continues to admire the trinket.  "inside are pieces of shards provided so helpfully by akari.  my wifey calls it a good luck charm, meant to grant safe travels and happiness to those who carry it."  choy smiles when ingo turns to him.

"safe travels?"

"indeed, valued customer.  it would make a good gift for anyone who travels over these dangerous lands."

safe travels...

ingo looks over to rod, the fisherman now combing through the available fruits for sale.  he picks up a honey cake, a longing smile on his face before he puts it down and instead picking up some berries for his fish.  it doesnt slip his notice that rod picks up more pecha berries than oran berries, the scarring on his legs a reminder of dangers of the ocean.  and somehow, rod is okay with living in the middle of the ocean, secluded from everyone else while surrounded by the one pokemon that nearly led to his demise when he first arrived here.

and he still insists on boating to and fro from his hidden little sea cave as if nothing bad could ever happen again.

(A/N: mega bummerooni :( Ingo: your ruining my internal monologue bruuuuuuuhh it’s fine (¬_¬ ) now go back into the fic!1)

safe travels.

ingo grips the little bottle tightly,  "how much for this charm?"

"ahhh~ for a valued customer as yourself?  for the amount of work that went into as well as the scarcity of the items needed for the charm... about 10,000 gold coins."

ingo stares at choy like this (ಠ_ಠ)

"...i would say 7500 at best.""you drive a hard bargain, dear customer.  but i won't go lower then 9500.""i know miss akari, and i know where she gets the... materials for this trinket.  8000.""8500."

"fair enough."  ingo digs around in his pouch and counts out the coins needed.  "8500 coins."

"money well spent," choy says, counting out the coins with a smile.  "Now... i assume the trinket is for a special someone?"

"ah..."  Ingo doesn't say much more than that, his gaze barely trailing over to rod as choy grins.

"im not sure why you try to hide it, dear warden.  i'm sure even youre clan leader knows of yor ties with him."

ingo pulls down the visor of his cap with embarassment.  its not that they try to hide it.  it's just that... they were both very private people.  and a bunch of chatty Kathies crowding around them asking if they planning starting a family together always felt..

invasive.  an unnecessary pressure.  and rod was a very solitary man, despite his love for the people he surrounds himself with.  ingo clears his throat.  "we like to keep the matter between the two of us.  that is all."

(A?N: ugh rumors suck guys and it totally ruins the vibe huh :/ just like when i was in high school LOL those bullies are the WOOOOORST)

"of coures, of course."  choy nods solemnly, perhaps understanding his intention.  "now, before you go, i suggest one more addition to make this truly a charm."

"oh?"  ingo keeps a sign from escaping  him.  "will this addition cost additional money?"

"nono, not in the slightest.  consider it... on the house."  choy takes it out of his pocket (A/N LOL i was gonna write a whole thing about him going and looking for it but that was too much to write :P).  he presents a red, woven cord with a tassel at the end of it.  choy takes the trinket for ingo and carefully ties the cord around the neck  of the bottle.  once secured, he holds it up for ingo to see, the cord suspending the charm in the air almost elegantly.  "now that," Choy says produdly, "is a charm."  he hands it over to ingo who holds it delicately.

"thank you," ingo says softly, holding the trinket preciously in his hand.  "i truly appreciate it."

"of course.  anything for a valued customer,"  choy lightly pats his shoulder and pushes him towards rod.  "now, go impress your MAN with the wares you have."

ingo chuckles, a light blush on his features as he walks over to rod.  unsurprisingly, rod is yapping with choy's waifu, rod already exchanging money for the produce he picked out before choy's wife notices ingo approaching and nods towards him with a smile.  rod stops his chatting and turns towards ingo with a mareepish smile.  "sorry bout that." rod apologizes almost immediately, "guess i got distracted with catchin up.  hope i didnt make ya wait too long?"

"nonsense," ingo says, the charm held tightly in his hand.  "you could never make me wait for long……  in fact, id say that i find youre mepandering pace a breath of fresh air from the highspeed travels of life."

"ok?"  rod chuckles and shakes his head.  "crazy how some of the things you say make no sense while making all the sense at the same time."

"i would say the same for your odd metaphors ;)"

"hey now, you like my metaphors.  you find em, whatchacallit, 'intriguging and colorful, just like your shirt,' or some nonsense like that."

"ah but they are just as intriguing and coloful as your shirt."  Ingo lightly pokes at rod's faded shirt, the once bright colors bleached by the sun.  he could only imagine that the flowers that decorate his love's precious garment was once as vibrant as rods own smile. 

rod lightly bats away ingo's smile and hoists his bag of produce over hsi shoulder. 

"alright alright, lets leave these poor souls alone, less they gotta hear us bickering like a pair of rowdy machops fightin over the last pecha berry."

ingo chuckles and curls an arm around rod's, holding tightly to his hand.  "of course.  goodbye miss, tell youre husband his prices can be rediculous."

choy's wife laughs and waves them away,  "i will!  thank you both for your patronage."

(INSERT WALKING SCENE HERE)

"so," rod begins, his beautiful, brown orbs staring up at ingo's.  "didja get anythin for yerself?"

"well..."  ingo trails off, a musing tone to his voice as he capture's rod's intrigue.  "i may have purchased something of my own accord~"

"really?"  rod leans closer into ingo's side, his eyes looking over ingo's features as if to catch him in a lie.  "was it an actual thing for yerself?  or supplies?"

"...well."  ingo clears his throat.  "it's not supplies."

"so...?"

"it's a gift."

(A/N >:] now KISS Rod: IT’S TOO EARLY FOR THAT!! wtf !!  go back to the fic!!)

"a gift?"  rod brightns.  "oh!  is it for akari?  or maybe for rei?  heavens to betsy knows those two ragamuffins work themselves to the bone."  always thinking of others.  one of the many things that ingo admires about him, but just as well another reason to worry for his wellbeing.  "no, unfortunately not."  ingo looks around and spots a tree with a single wurmple napping underneath it.  he drags rod over to it, hiding the pair under its shade and disturbing the wurmple just a little bit.  "actually, it was a gift for you."

rod looks stunned.  "a gift for me?  whys that?"

"well lets just say... that i enjoy sharing this two-person cab with you.  and that maybe, i adore you.  just a little bit."

"aw shucks."  rod giggles.  "whoda thunk?  i adore ya too, just a touch~"

(A/N: ooooooo love confession WE’RE GETTING TO THE ROMANTIC PARTS TOMODACHI-SANS!!)

"thank you," ingo says sincerely, his heart going dokidoki harder even tho he's heard rod tell him his "i love you"s over and over again before.  "and because we adore each other, i wanted to give you this."  he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little charm, the bottle catching the rays of the sun and reflecting coloful patterns onto rods face.  rods eyes widen as he holds up his hands to hold hte bottle delicately.  "for you, my love."

"...oh."  rod doesn't have to say anything else, his eyes filling up with tears as he turns the bottle this way and that.  "its so pretty."

"its also a charm."  ingo tucks a lose strand of curly brown hair behind rod's ear, noting how cute his freckles are from this close up.  "a travel charm to be precise~"

"i aint never seen a travel charm in the shape of a bottle before."

"well, its the first of its kind."  ingo cups rods face and tilts it up so that his gaze meets his.  "just like you."

the rosy blush on rods face melts his heart as rod giggles again, a bright, mushy smile on his face as he leans into ingo's touch.  

"aw, shucks.  im not one of a kind, sunshine."

"but you are," ingo insists.  "you are the one and only rod, and there could never be another one like you~"

"mm, i guess."  rod presses a kiss to ingo's palm.  "just like how yer one of a kind too."

(A/N: AUGH they’re so KAWAII deSU NEEEE i wanna squeeze them to DEATH roflcopter)

"mm, i guess."  he rubs his thumb just under rod's eye affectionately, massaging the bags most overlook.  "now, this charm is meant to be tied somewhere, but i have no clue where.  would you mind giving me a hint?"

rod chuckles against his palm before finally lifting his face with a soft smile.  "sure.  lemme just..."  rod pulls at his clothing before looping a finger around a loop on his shorts.  "yknow, i never really figured what these were supposed to be for."

"i always thought sashes.  thats what i assumed the loops on my own pants were for."

"palina once joked that the loops were for rope.  something to tie on me so i dont go off and wander into danger."

"ahh, that joke could prove useful in the future."

"Don't."  rod wags a finger playfully at ingos face like the naughty houndour he is.  "i ain't no wild growlithe you can tie up to a post and forget about."

"but your much too memorable to forget about~"  ingo teases him as rod rolls his eyes before gesturing to the loops around his shorts.

"welp, guess i can finally make use of these."  

ingo nods and kneels down, tying the charm securely to one of the loops that hung just above a pocket.  knowning rod, the fisherman would probably fidget withthe itme and slip it into his pocket every once in a while.  hanging it there would just make the action easier to work with.  "there," ingo says, "safety checks completed."

rod makes an amused snort at that as ingo dusts himself up.  the bottle sags on the loop, and just as he figured, rod's hand slips down to hold onto the bottle before slipping it into his pocket.  "thank ya kindly."

"its my pleasure~"  his hand makes his way back to rods, the fisherman blinking slowly as ingo squeezes his hand.  "its quite quiet out here, dont you think?"

"mm."  rod tilting his head to the side, the brim of his straw hat catching on ingo's own.  "a  bit."

"would you mind?"  he speaks softly, softer then when hes in the mountains and wants to avoid attractign the attention of the rock types that lumbar around.  "if i stole a kiss from you?"

rod snorts, a hand rising up to push up both of their hats just enough to get the brims out of the way.  "no, i wouldnt mind at all."

(A/N: KISS KISS KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE~~!!!1!!)

"lovely."  ingo takes a step closer, their hats pushing up and off their heads as rod leans into the motion.  just before their lips meet and their tongues battled for dominance, a sticky spray hits ingo's cheek as he sqwauks in surprise.  he pulls away from rod and touches the remains of a string shot connected to a very annoyed and disgruntled wurmple.  rod laughs, light and delighted as ingo scowls and tries to rub the webbing off his face.

"aw, lil thing aint havin it with us," rod coos, helping ingo rub the rest of the attack off.

"yes, it would seem so," he grumbles, shooting a glare towards his laughing gliscor, the pokemon allowing the harmless attack to happen in the first place.  even the magikarp holds a mischevious glint in its eye as it jumps high into the air and bashes into the tree branches.

"aw jeez!"  rod rushes to catch his fish and sighs, looking only a little bit bemused by the turn of events.  "well, i guess that's as good as any sign to mosey on along, huh?"

ingo sighs in return, picking up their fallen hats.  he slides his back on while helping rod with his.  "indeed.  onwards, i suppose."

rod gives him a sympathetic smile.  "don't worry, sunshine.  we'll just kiss offscreen instead <3"

ingo snorts and shakes his head, looping an arm with rods as they walk away from the grumpy wurmple into the sunset.  "yes, i suppose we shall <3"

---

A/N: AND THEY KISSED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!  WASN'T THAT TOTES KAWAIII!!  N GUUYS, SAY HI TO THE AUDIENCE!!

Rod: Konnichi-howdy

Ingo: Greetings

wasn’t that an EPIC story@@!!

Rod: Would have been nice if the wurmple didn't ruin the moment

Ingo: Indeed

shut up both of you.  you guys can have craze smex offscreen or smth!!

Rod: Don't just announce that to the world!! >,<

well ur my oc so i can say watevr i want :P  neways, thx evry1 4 reading my fic!!! my mom is gonna be PISSED that i wrote this instead of doing my hw so as always, pl0z r&r!!  flames r welcomed!!  STAY AWESOME!! Okbaiiiii

Rod: And go do your hw!!

I AM SHUT UP!!!

----

(A/N: WOWIE ZOWIE ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! This time, it's the real deal. Anyways-

takes a drag off my candy cigarette YEAH SO this was written entirely in minecraft for a total of 64 pages with some post editing done in google docs since you can copy and paste in minecraft. that aside, it was fun writing this fic and being able to use those old little quirks that you'd sometimes see in early 2000s fics on ff.net. consider this my loving tribute to that website that's still somehow functioning, and to our childhoods if you're old enough for that.

Also, Rod is a very real and genuine OC of mine with a ref sheet and everything. Maybe one day I'll get around to posting more fics of him (I've got a few floating around here and there) if people are interested in him!

Thank you as always for reading! And bearing through this chaotic fic lol)

[walkawaytall]

I am very stressed about a thing that I can’t discuss right now that I have literally no control over, so here’s some

fanfic writer asks

that I came up with all on my own. Ask ‘em, share ‘em, do whatever.

Have you pulled inspiration from media sources other than the property your fic is related to (a plot point from a TV show that has nothing to do with the characters/setting of the fic, a line from a book, etc.)? If so, for which story? Why did you find that media source compelling?

What is your favorite paragraph from (insert story title you want to know about here, or leave it blank for writer’s choice)? Is there a reason it’s your favorite?

What is the most amount of research you’ve done for the smallest detail? What was the detail and how much time/effort went into researching it?

Share a headcanon about (character name) in (story title)!

Is there a tiny detail in one of your fics that you feel goes tragically unnoticed?

What is your favorite type of feedback to receive (favorites/kudos, comments, DMs, complete and utter silence in the pursuit of remaining unperceived?)? If comments or DMs or anything else involving a reader writing, do you have a particular type of feedback that excites you more than other types?

Share a line or paragraph you’ve written that you don’t think will ever actually be posted in anything! (Or, if you don’t hoard cut sentences and passages like I do, share anything you want that has yet to see the light of day!)

Is there a story idea you have that you would love if it could appear fully realized but that you do not think you’ll ever write yourself?

Do you prefer to read angst or fluff? Which do you prefer to write?

If you could banish a single trope to live at the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen again by any human eyes (or at least your own), which trope would that be?

Conversely, if you had to pick a single trope to read for the next seven-and-half years, which trope would that be?

What are your thoughts on slow burn romances?

Are you secretly Tara Gilesbie aka XXXbloodyrists666XXX aka author of infamous Harry Potter fanfiction serial My Immortal? (you can trust me; I won’t tell anyone, pinky promise)

Has anyone ever created anything (art, a podfic, another fic, etc.) inspired by your work? Which work? How did you feel about that?

Is there any genre, trope, or style that you find particularly challenging to write? Do you enjoy the challenge or prefer to avoid it?

Is there a commonly held misconception about one of your stories that you’d like to correct for the masses?

What does your editing process look like?

Share a headcanon relating to (insert desired theme here)!

What was the very first fanwork you ever created? (I’m talking like maybe you made a little book out of construction paper and staples with your favorite Disney characters drawn in it when you were five years old or you drew a comic about a movie you saw when you were a preteen. That sort of thing.)

Is there anything about any one of your fics that you have been dying to discuss but haven’t had the chance to?

[jubilantwriter]

the title screen means death

(AO3)

Summary:

Memento mori. Remember that you are mortal. Remember, that you will die. Words that ring more hollow than the ticking of a clock. A light switches from blue to pink. Somewhere, a clock stops, then shatters. And the cycle begins anew. He stopped feeling heroic long ago. And he fears, so did his sister.

Word Count: 1086

Bonus Tags: Somewhat Meta, Takes Place in the Character Selection Screen, Discussions of Character Death, FeMC goes by Hamuko here, Female Persona 3 Protagonist and Male Persona 3 Protagonist are Twins

A/N: Heya! It's been a while since I've posted anything, but hopefully I can get back into the swing of things once I got my writing mojo back!

////

The room is quiet where they sit.  There is no clock, no windows, no way of knowing how much time passes.  All they know is that a door will open, and one of them will be chosen to walk forward.

It's the same game.  Over and over again.  A routine played by two people who know when their lives begin just as it ends.

Hamuko stares at the blank walls.

Minato stares at the bland floor.

"Did you ever find it weird how we never get memories of us together?"  Hamuko asks, her smile bright as it is fake.  Practice makes perfect, after all.

"No," Minato answers simply.

"You'd think, us being twins... we'd have more memories together."

They never got to grow up together.  

Still, he scrambles to find something, anything that wasn’t taken from him.  Taken from them.

"We have some.  From before the crash."

…And yet.  All the memories he has are of-

The sky changing colors.  A car over a bridge.  Their parents driving them home after a long day out.  The two of them were napping.  A peaceful, normal night.

But then-

Their father's surprised shout.  The screeching of the tires.  Momentum forcing them both to one side.  Their mother screaming.  And then-

It changes.  Who wakes up.  Sometimes it's Minato.  Sometimes it's Hamuko.

It's never both of them at the same time.

They sit there in silence, in the room with no clocks or windows.  They're both teens, and yet... they have no memories of how they grew up.

At least.  Not yet.  Not until the door opens.

Hamuko's smile stays on her face, her eyes dull.  "Who do you think they'll pick this time?"

Minato clenches his fist against his leg.  "...I don't know."

"Is it bad if... I don't want to be picked this time?"  Her broken laugh finally makes Minato look at his twin.  Hamuko's smile slips like a worn out mask.  "Is it bad that I don't want to be picked this time?"

"..."

"I mean- we've died plenty of times, what's another death, right?  We're used to it!  I'm used to it.  It's just death, Ryoji-kun will be there waiting for me when it's all over.  It's just-"

She doesn't finish her sentence.  But she doesn’t need to, does she?  After all, they’re twins.  

…After all, they’re twins.  And that’s why, that’s why…

"...You'd get it then.  If I don't want to be picked either."  Minato averts his gaze as his sister begins to cry.  He stares at the same spot Hamuko had her gaze trained on earlier.  "I don't want to be picked."

"...You should be picked.  You're the oldest."

"No, people like you more."

"But you're more popular!"

"People miss you."

"And you don't think I miss you?!"

"...I miss you too."

They both fall silent as Hamuko continues to cry.

"...I don't want to grow up without you again."

"I know."

"I know I'm being selfish, but it always ends the same way, right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like that we both can't go through."

"I know."

"I wish we could both go through.  Then it wouldn't be so bad."

"Me too."

Quiet.  But just for a moment.  He knows his sister will only be quiet for just a moment.  She was always the more talkative between the two of them.

"...Would it have been better if we weren't twins?"

He snaps his gaze back to Hamuko, her gaze broken and defeated as she smiles blankly at the floor.

"Don't say that," he says, stressing out each word with every breath he takes.  "Never say that.  You're my twin.  I'm your twin.  We complement each other even if the other is missing."

His cool blue to her warm red.  Her hot temper echoing his cold anger.  How his quiet stoicism still holds the same warmth from her bubbly nature.   It's hard not to see her fleeting brown hair in every reflection he passes by.

He knows she feels the same way.  It's why she always avoids looking at him.  She sees him enough in her reflection to not feel the guilt weigh down on her.

"I- ...yeah.  I guess..."  She kicks at the floor idly.  "It just- it feels... wrong."  

She doesn't elaborate on what she means, but he nods along.  He never really felt whole to begin with.  She was his missing half, as cliche as it was.

"It would be easier.  But we're not here for things to be easier."

Hamuko sighs.  "Yeah, I know."

Silence.  It stretches a little too long.  He watches his sister with unease.  

"...Hamuko?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm still... glad we're twins."

Finally, she looks at him.  And her eyes shine for just that moment.

"...Me too."

A loud click is heard in the room.  They both stand up, eyes trained anxiously on the wall in front of them.  A light shines down on Minato, freezing him in place.  It switches to his sister as she flinches away from the light, and he prays to whatever merciful god above that it stays on her.

It switches back to him.  Then back to his sister.  And then back to him.

And the light.

Turns.

Blue.

Hamuko's shoulders sag with relief.  His tenses with fear.  

“At least,” she says with an unfair lightness, “you'll get to see everyone again.”

It's a reassurance he's repeated to her several times.  It's a reassurance he's heard parroted back just as much.

At least you'll get to see everyone again.

It's a reassurance laced with lies upon lies, the knowledge of knowing what will happen to their friends leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.  

At least you'll get to see them before you all die again.

The door opens, and he's dragged forward against his will.  He turns his head just in time to see his sister smile her rare, genuine smile.

For once, he can’t see himself in the corners of her smile.

It’s not fair.

His hand reaches out to her, desperate to drag her with him.

"HAMU-"

"-ne?"  

His voice comes out in a rasp.  His fingers are wet.  Sticky.  The windshield in the front is shattered and smeared with-

His head spins.  The sky looks wrong.  His name feels wrong – Makoto Yuki, was it?  

And why does Kotone feel worse?  

The bridge railing is too close.  He's scared.  His voice won't work.  All he wants is something familiar.  

So he turns to find his twin.

And all he sees is her familiar warm red smeared across her pale, cold face.

[jubilantwriter]

the title screen means death

(AO3)

Summary:

Memento mori. Remember that you are mortal. Remember, that you will die. Words that ring more hollow than the ticking of a clock. A light switches from blue to pink. Somewhere, a clock stops, then shatters. And the cycle begins anew. He stopped feeling heroic long ago. And he fears, so did his sister.

Word Count: 1086

Bonus Tags: Somewhat Meta, Takes Place in the Character Selection Screen, Discussions of Character Death, FeMC goes by Hamuko here, Female Persona 3 Protagonist and Male Persona 3 Protagonist are Twins

A/N: Heya! It's been a while since I've posted anything, but hopefully I can get back into the swing of things once I got my writing mojo back!

////

The room is quiet where they sit.  There is no clock, no windows, no way of knowing how much time passes.  All they know is that a door will open, and one of them will be chosen to walk forward.

It's the same game.  Over and over again.  A routine played by two people who know when their lives begin just as it ends.

Hamuko stares at the blank walls.

Minato stares at the bland floor.

"Did you ever find it weird how we never get memories of us together?"  Hamuko asks, her smile bright as it is fake.  Practice makes perfect, after all.

"No," Minato answers simply.

"You'd think, us being twins... we'd have more memories together."

They never got to grow up together.  

Still, he scrambles to find something, anything that wasn’t taken from him.  Taken from them.

"We have some.  From before the crash."

…And yet.  All the memories he has are of-

The sky changing colors.  A car over a bridge.  Their parents driving them home after a long day out.  The two of them were napping.  A peaceful, normal night.

But then-

Their father's surprised shout.  The screeching of the tires.  Momentum forcing them both to one side.  Their mother screaming.  And then-

It changes.  Who wakes up.  Sometimes it's Minato.  Sometimes it's Hamuko.

It's never both of them at the same time.

They sit there in silence, in the room with no clocks or windows.  They're both teens, and yet... they have no memories of how they grew up.

At least.  Not yet.  Not until the door opens.

Hamuko's smile stays on her face, her eyes dull.  "Who do you think they'll pick this time?"

Minato clenches his fist against his leg.  "...I don't know."

"Is it bad if... I don't want to be picked this time?"  Her broken laugh finally makes Minato look at his twin.  Hamuko's smile slips like a worn out mask.  "Is it bad that I don't want to be picked this time?"

"..."

"I mean- we've died plenty of times, what's another death, right?  We're used to it!  I'm used to it.  It's just death, Ryoji-kun will be there waiting for me when it's all over.  It's just-"

She doesn't finish her sentence.  But she doesn’t need to, does she?  After all, they’re twins.  

…After all, they’re twins.  And that’s why, that’s why…

"...You'd get it then.  If I don't want to be picked either."  Minato averts his gaze as his sister begins to cry.  He stares at the same spot Hamuko had her gaze trained on earlier.  "I don't want to be picked."

"...You should be picked.  You're the oldest."

"No, people like you more."

"But you're more popular!"

"People miss you."

"And you don't think I miss you?!"

"...I miss you too."

They both fall silent as Hamuko continues to cry.

"...I don't want to grow up without you again."

"I know."

"I know I'm being selfish, but it always ends the same way, right?"

"Yeah."

"I don't like that we both can't go through."

"I know."

"I wish we could both go through.  Then it wouldn't be so bad."

"Me too."

Quiet.  But just for a moment.  He knows his sister will only be quiet for just a moment.  She was always the more talkative between the two of them.

"...Would it have been better if we weren't twins?"

He snaps his gaze back to Hamuko, her gaze broken and defeated as she smiles blankly at the floor.

"Don't say that," he says, stressing out each word with every breath he takes.  "Never say that.  You're my twin.  I'm your twin.  We complement each other even if the other is missing."

His cool blue to her warm red.  Her hot temper echoing his cold anger.  How his quiet stoicism still holds the same warmth from her bubbly nature.   It's hard not to see her fleeting brown hair in every reflection he passes by.

He knows she feels the same way.  It's why she always avoids looking at him.  She sees him enough in her reflection to not feel the guilt weigh down on her.

"I- ...yeah.  I guess..."  She kicks at the floor idly.  "It just- it feels... wrong."  

She doesn't elaborate on what she means, but he nods along.  He never really felt whole to begin with.  She was his missing half, as cliche as it was.

"It would be easier.  But we're not here for things to be easier."

Hamuko sighs.  "Yeah, I know."

Silence.  It stretches a little too long.  He watches his sister with unease.  

"...Hamuko?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm still... glad we're twins."

Finally, she looks at him.  And her eyes shine for just that moment.

"...Me too."

A loud click is heard in the room.  They both stand up, eyes trained anxiously on the wall in front of them.  A light shines down on Minato, freezing him in place.  It switches to his sister as she flinches away from the light, and he prays to whatever merciful god above that it stays on her.

It switches back to him.  Then back to his sister.  And then back to him.

And the light.

Turns.

Blue.

Hamuko's shoulders sag with relief.  His tenses with fear.  

“At least,” she says with an unfair lightness, “you'll get to see everyone again.”

It's a reassurance he's repeated to her several times.  It's a reassurance he's heard parroted back just as much.

At least you'll get to see everyone again.

It's a reassurance laced with lies upon lies, the knowledge of knowing what will happen to their friends leaving a bitter aftertaste in his mouth.  

At least you'll get to see them before you all die again.

The door opens, and he's dragged forward against his will.  He turns his head just in time to see his sister smile her rare, genuine smile.

For once, he can’t see himself in the corners of her smile.

It’s not fair.

His hand reaches out to her, desperate to drag her with him.

"HAMU-"

"-ne?"  

His voice comes out in a rasp.  His fingers are wet.  Sticky.  The windshield in the front is shattered and smeared with-

His head spins.  The sky looks wrong.  His name feels wrong – Makoto Yuki, was it?  

And why does Kotone feel worse?  

The bridge railing is too close.  He's scared.  His voice won't work.  All he wants is something familiar.  

So he turns to find his twin.

And all he sees is her familiar warm red smeared across her pale, cold face.

[rocket-sith]

Reblog if you write fic and people can inbox you random-ass questions about your stories, itemized number lists be damned.

[jubilantwriter]

jubilantScribbler's Writing Commission Sheet

Hi guys! It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything on here. I'm trying something new by opening up commissions and getting back in the writing groove. As a result, I'll have 5 open slots available for anyone who'd like a spot, and if all goes well, I'll open up more slots in the future.

I'll be doing writing commissions for original characters, specific listed fandoms, and even crossovers! Please see the Google Doc above for more descriptive instructions and details.

CLOSED

OPEN

OPEN

OPEN

OPEN

Thank you for supporting my writing!

[jubilantwriter]

jubilantScribbler's Writing Commission Sheet

Hi guys! It's been a hot minute since I've posted anything on here. I'm trying something new by opening up commissions and getting back in the writing groove. As a result, I'll have 5 open slots available for anyone who'd like a spot, and if all goes well, I'll open up more slots in the future.

I'll be doing writing commissions for original characters, specific listed fandoms, and even crossovers! Please see the Google Doc above for more descriptive instructions and details.

CLOSED

OPEN

OPEN

OPEN

OPEN

Thank you for supporting my writing!

[jubilantwriter]

Well heelllloooo my beloved~

Let's go wiiiithhhh 4, 8, 16, 26, 55, and 68!

Helloooooo my darling~

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Usually through music, but nowadays I've been drawing inspiration from hefty quotes on tumblr and comics where there's a certain Flavor to it that I really like and wanna try with my own takes.

8. Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

The middle! That's where the meat of the fic is, and where my general creativity really goes loose and uncontrolled lol. You can bet that my excess writing collects in the middle and just continues to unravel from there. Beginnings tend to be rough, but once I get a start, I manage to keep on chugging.

Endings are where I really struggle. Don't- [grabs your face to look away at my incomplete but published fics] -don't look over there.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oooohh so many. Granted, all of them tend to be centered around my and my friends' OCs, but the one I'm nursing right now is:

Clay (from Pokemon Black and White) has to deal with the grief and guilt of his younger cousin going missing (my OC, Rod, of whom you know), and processes it as healthily as he possibly can. Which is to say, he processes it poorly. There's blame tossed around and angry jealousy/envy towards another figure who's lost a family member.

Takes place just before Legends Arceus truly kicks off, but is set in that universe. I've actually been working on this fic for AGES, and it's only recently returned to bother me in the corners of my brain.

26. Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

GOD. I would have to say... "The Space Between". It was my first true horror fic where I pushed myself to really experiment with my writing. Building the atmosphere, figuring out how to word things just right to drive home the pure terror David was in was a struggle, but a well fought one! I remember putting myself in David's headspace and freaking myself out with horror stuff to get me to really feel and experience what David felt to properly translate the terror into words. I even thought about reading a Stephen King book or two to understand how to write horror! Needless to say, I didn't end up doing that LOL

After all that build up tho came the downhill climb from all that horror tension, which honestly is what got me put into a standstill. Like, how do you write a satisfying conclusion to all that build up? That's still something I need to work on for that fic, and one that's been nagging at me for ages. Hopefully, I'll figure something out. I know how it ends, after all.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

...........r Od, my pokémon OC. loL. Writing my own OC has been a pleasure and a joy, just because I can put him into so many situations and throw him into so many AUs with my friends. But also, the biggest appeal of Rod is that he's my own character. I know who he is and why he behaves the way he does better than anyone else - his motives, his drives, his weaknesses. Not only that, but he's a character who can change and grow into something else! He used to be a cis man before my friends and I talked more and more about him until we realized... no, actually, he's a transman. He leaves so much room for experimenting, for discovery and building that it's so much fun to work with him! It's less constraining to work with him than with established characters, and it's also SUCH a breath of fresh air!

My friends DEFINITELY had some part in my choice to write about him. They all just... loved him so much??? Right from conception when he was nothing more than a sock puppet with googly eyes and a fishing pun for a name. They loved him so much that they all breathed the life into him, until I actually had something to work with.

And then they kept playing with him!! Lord did they play with him. So I played dolls with their OCs as well, and this interconnected world with OCs just kinda grew and expanded and became so much fun to explore that I just couldn't not enjoy writing fics about him and their OCs falling in love or being a family or struggling together. A lot of the fics I write of Rod tend to be shared only amongst my friends, but maybe... some day... I'll post something here.

68. What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Listen to songs in hopes of getting my writing spunk on. That, or daydreaming! Daydreaming scenarios really helps.

The other thing I do is write my fic on minecraft which is a sane and nor Mal thing to do,

[ahdriking]

Get to know your fic writer!

Do you prefer writing one-shots or multi-chaptered fics?

Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Do you like constructive criticism?

Do you have your work beta'd? How important is this to your process?

How do you choose which POV to write from?

Do you prefer the beginning, middle, or end of a story?

Do you comment on stories you read?

Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

Link your three favorite fics right now

how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

how do you write emotional scenes? Do you ever feel what the characters feel? Do you draw from personal experiences?

How do you write smut scenes? Do you get very visual or detailed? How important is it to be realistic?

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

What is the most-used tag on your ao3?

Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

Best writing advice for other writers?

Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

What is your most and least favorite part of writing?

On average, how much writing do you get done in a day?

What’s your revision or editing process like?

Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?

Do you start with the characters or the plot when writing?

Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

Do you want to be published some day?

Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain? 

How do you write kissing scenes?

How do you choose where to end a chapter?

Would you ever write commissions?

Share a snippet from a WIP

If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

Do you take a sadistic joy in whumping your characters, or are you more the "If you hurt them I would kill everyone and then myself" kind of person?

What mistakes do you keep making no matter how many times your beta corrects you?

Do you want to break your readers‘ heart or make them laugh?

How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

What do you look for in a beta?

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

How long is your longest fic?

What’s your total AO3 word count?

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?

What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Do you prefer editing as you write, or waiting until it’s finished? 

What part of the writing process do you enjoy the most? (Brainstorming, outlining, writing, editing, etc) 

Does anyone in your personal life know you write fic? if not, would you tell anyone?

Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Why do you continue writing fics?

Thoughts on cliffhangers?

Something you hate to see in smut.

Something you love to see in smut.

Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

What, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

What order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

What scene in [Fanfic Name] took the longest to write? What was difficult about it? 

Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of [Fanfic Name]? 

Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from [Fanfic Name] story/chapter? 

[jubilantwriter]

OUGH I think I deleted an ask when I didn't mean to delete an ask!! Damn!!

[insinirate]

What Could Be Said by jubilantscribbler

[ellohcee]

It’s easy to get lost in Jasper’s movements.  Easy to match every step he takes, every turn, every pivot - they flow naturally like the river behind his house, easily maneuvering around each rock, each log, each obstacle in their way as though nothing can break their rhythm.  When Jasper twirls him out with a grin, his grip remains strong as David is pulled back into Jasper’s waiting arms, a giggle escaping David as he’s held close to this stranger he swears feels more familiar to him with each passing second.

Which can’t be true.  He barely knows the man.  But as Jasper continues to smile and spin him around, he finds himself dizzy with the idea of being around him more.

Maybe actually getting to know him.

Wouldn’t that be simply divine?

Not So Dumb for Investing in Door Stoppers, Now Am I?

@jaspvid-week day 6: cycles/loops - in which two souls spend lifetimes looking for each other, over and over until they finally catch hold of each other, based on another @jubilantwriter production, linked above!

[ellohcee]

…So yes!  They have been through much, much worse.  A walk through a forest with a neglected road?  Should be a breeze through the park!  And yet, they drag their feet as if they’re travelling through muck, looking over their shoulders with an unneeded precaution, hoping to delay the inevitable.  Jasper’s memories couldn’t have been as fond as David’s, given their last year together but…

“Oh.  Shit.”  Jasper’s mumbled exclamation draws him out of his thoughts.  “Looks like you were right, Davey.”

Turns out, they didn’t drag their feet long enough.  Ahead of them stands the familiar old sign of Camp Campbell, though half the letters are missing.  The rickety old sign is hanging loose and limp, the one remaining chain allowing it to swing idly as a strong wind jostles it.  Apprehension grips David as he looks over the once familiar campgrounds.  When did the disasters start?

When did they begin?  

I’m alive I’m still going! @jaspvid-week day 3: AU day is based off of the post apocalyptic AU by my wonderful @jubilantwriter, in particular this installment here which is where the excerpt is from!