LITTLE LION MAN !

deputy benjamin caine of far cry 5.

[judasin]

rewatching hann.ibal & realizing how much gay subtext & straight up text I missed the first time I watched it when I was like 15

[an-exotic-writer]

five word prompts

[inspired by this]

“actually… i just miss you.”

“alright, i’ll leave you alone.”

“and slowly… i was forgotten.”

“and then everything just disappears.”

“and where do i go?”

“anyone could tell from here.”

“are you finishing that or…?”

“are you stupid or stupid?”

“anything, just call me, okay?”

“bitch better have my money.”

“bro… that’s so… not cool…”

“but did you do it?”

“call me now. it’s urgent.”

“can’t you listen to me?”

“cross that. don’t answer that.”

“don’t even think about it.”

“don’t you dare walk away.”

“do it. i dare you.”

“did you think i forgot?”

“eventually… you just move on.”

“even if you still do.”

“everything will fall into place.”

“fight me, you attractive stranger.”

“for once, i need you.”

“for once… i was right.”

“for once… i was wrong.”

“forget i even asked you.”

“forget it. you fucking suck.”

“fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”

“fuck off. i mean it.”

“give and take. that’s life.”

“great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”

“have you lost your mind?”

“hello? it’s me. i was-”

“hey… that wasn’t so nice.”

“here’s a glass of whatever.”

“how about a hug, hm?”

“how about you make me?”

“i haven’t forgot you yet.”

“i can’t be around you.”

“i don’t need you, really.”

“i don’t need this now.”

“is this your first time?”

“it’s just a cut, really.”

“it wasn’t me, i swear!”

“i said i love you.”

“just don’t fuck it up.”

“just… come back alive, okay?”

“just make sure you’ve eaten.”

“kick his ass for me.”

“killed him? wait, what, literally?”

“life really sucks. feel better.”

“letting go hurts… a lot.”

“let me live, will you?”

“no, i don’t need you.”

“nothing can hurt me now.”

“nothing matters anymore to me.”

“okay it was me… so?”

“people lie all the time.”

“pipe the fuck down, asshole.”

“please, you can’t die now.”

“please don’t leave me alone.”

“quiet. they can hear us.”

“quick! give me your phone!”

“quicker, you freaking piece of-”

“quit it or i’ll bite.”

“quit staring! they’ll notice us!”

"really? do i look stupid?”

“real smooth, tripping over air.”

“rise and shine, sweet thing.”

“rise and fucking shine, motherfucker.”

“seriously? give me a break.”

“so… what are we now?”

“so… did you miss me?”

“so… can we go eat?”

“so… when’s the next flight?”

“so… how did everything go?”

“sometimes, i wish you died.”

“so what? you did it.”

“time passes slower without you.”

“then what do you suggest?”

“the fuck? who are you?”

“then you tell me why.”

“this is not working out.”

“this isn’t what i wanted.”

“this is all a fucking disaster.”

“when did it all happen?”

“who knew you’d be here?”

“why do i even bother?”

“why do i love you?”

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“you’re just… so, so stupid.”

“you can’t be here now.”

“you look like an accident.”

“you really need to go.”

“you know who to call.”

"zero fucks given. next please.”

[judasin]

aggression & order were learned behaviors, instilled in ben through more than half a decade of training.   there were times, towards the end, where he forgot his hands could do anything else.   after he went on the run   ( order lost ),   he’d go to junkyards at night with the aluminum baseball bat he’d taken from his little box in the veteran’s center, smashing up anything & everything he could find, just to get it out. 

[osvaldrps-archived]

Charles Michael Davis as Blair Williams in Chicago PD, season 6 episode 16: ‘The Forgotten’

[judasin]

ben’s parents were in need of a community when they first attended one of joseph’s sermons in georgia.   his dad’s mom had just died, leaving her small house to him, empty, & his brothers hadn’t been in touch in years, not since their father’s funeral, KIA.   his mom’s family hadn’t talked to her in a long, long time.   not since she married his father.   they were skeptical, at first.   it was their friends who brought them to the make-shift chapel, crowded with people.   I don’t know about this, they said.   it wasn’t until he started talking, hushing the conversation, that they knew.   really, it wasn’t until they brought their son, about six years-old, to a service & he made him smile, that they were convinced.   going weekly turned into daily, helping out wherever they could, & when the option was given : move with us, they said yes.

[nerts]

Visit Original Link

[zhaomemes]

EP: MODERN TRAGEDY, VOLUME ONE.

( BLOOD / / WATER. )

❝ We’ll never get free. ❞

❝ The price of your greed is your son and your daughter. ❞

❝ Look me in my eyes. ❞

❝ The people ain’t happy. ❞

❝ You thought you could go free? ❞

❝ There’s a knock at your front door. ❞

❝ Beg me for mercy. ❞

❝ Admit you were toxic. ❞

❝ You poisoned me just for another dollar in your pocket. ❞

❝ I won’t accept your silence. ❞

❝ I am the people. ❞

❝ Money won’t solve it. ❞

❝ What’s your alibi? ❞

( STICK UP. )

❝ [ Name ]’s a good father. ❞

❝ Why even bother? ❞

❝ Corruption since the regression. ❞

❝ Get down on the ground! ❞

❝ Nobody make a sound! ❞

❝ I’m done playing games. ❞

❝ Congress is defecting. ❞

❝ There’s a cold wind blowing. ❞

( DESPICABLE. )

❝ The goodbye is the hardest part. ❞

❝ I’m doing you a favour. ❞

❝ One day you will understand. ❞

❝ You’ll find a better man than I am. ❞

❝ I ain’t never been a keeper. ❞

❝ If I were you, I wouldn’t love me neither. ❞

( 6 : 00 AM. )

❝ There’s no difference between you and I. ❞

❝ How can we stand by? ❞

❝ I saw another man down. ❞

❝ I saw the body drop. ❞

❝ I won’t give no fucks. ❞

❝ I will take no shit. ❞

❝ They said they want war, this is it. ❞

( OVERDOSE. )

❝ I’m trying to feel like a rockstar. ❞

❝ I’ve been way too numb now. ❞

❝ I gotta get out of this town somehow. ❞

❝ The bad’s been slowly getting worse. ❞

❝ I think it’s time for a change. ❞

❝ The drugs don’t work. ❞

[judasin]

you wanna prove you’re the better man you wanna reach for the things nobody can all you need is to break away keep telling yourself there’s no shame

AES: junior deputy benjamin caine

[judasin]

unsurprisingly, going back to hope cou.nty wasn’t ben’s first, second, third, fourth, or even fifth choice.   it was his friend wyatt that dug that hole for him when the request came in for more deputies.   hey, ain’t that where you’re from ?   fuck.   you know the area, ben, the recruiter in his white shirt & his tie said, some plastic sense of authority held about him as the fan behind them spun.   with all due respect, sir, I’m not goin’ back there.   not for you, not for anybody.   the man sat back in his chair, it’s creak filling the empty space in the small, cluttered office.   you’ll go where you’re assigned, son.   ‘sides, if its as bad as you say, its your responsibility to help out, don’t you think ?   responsibility.   that stuck with him, far longer than the smell of cheap coffee from the training room & the glassy stare of the deer head on the wall.   you did shit you’re never gonna be able to take back, that voice in his head said.   but you can try to make it right.   two months later he was in the passenger seat of wyatt’s truck, speeding down I-90 faster than they should’ve been, the mountains he used to call home just coming into sight & a peach pit of dread in his stomach. 

[judasin]

peggie recruiter no. 99: have you heard the father’s good-

ben:

[originalsdaily]

1.01 || 4.02 

But here’s the other truth. Despite being raised by you people… I am nothing like any of you. In fact, I’m proud as hell I’m not a Mikaelson. I beat you all without turning into you.

[judasin]

the funny thing is, ben was never conditioned in the “ only you ” method. he didn’t need to be. he was one of the first chosen. he entered training when he was 15. growing up believing jacob was right, jacob was the way, was his conditioning. without that manufactured devotion, he was able to wake up & look at the blood on his hands ( eventually ). 

[judasin]

during ben’s time in the project, the chosen were tight-knit. to operate in-sync, knowing the people you’re fighting alongside is key. they ate together, hunted together, built together, played cards & soccer & pool when they got the time. when one of them experienced a loss, they all felt it. leaving that was one of the hardest parts.

[theroomisonfiree]

Frank by Michael Mayren

[judasin]

ben met him in a bar just outside of billings. it was late, almost closing. he was getting used to drinking all the time. he was getting used to feeling alone all the time, too. when he sat down beside him, he didn’t look up. the man leaned down, tipping his head towards him. you alright ? he asked. he told him no. lying was still a sin. well, he ordered two drinks. tell me about it. 

he had a small apartment. you could tell he had just moved in. boxes & the smell of fresh paint. you new in town too ? ben asked. no, he answered. a picture of a lake was pinned to the wall by the bed. he looked at it when their skin was pressed together. then he looked at him. 

the fifth night, the stranger smeared a gold power over his eyelids & told him he looked like an angel. ben didn’t know what to say to that, so he kissed him instead. 

the second month they fought. he couldn’t remember what about. he tried to touch him gently & a reflex surfaced ( strong not weak. strong not weak. strong not weak. show me that’s what you are ). his nose bled all over the bathroom, red on old porcelain, & ben said sorry, I’m sorry over & over. its alright, he told him. you didn’t mean to. 

they would ask each other questions, lying, tangled in each other’s arms, staring up at the ceiling. you believe in god ? he asked him once. next question, he said. 

[rafaealpha]

a marcel gerard capspam, s01e11 ( apres moi, le deluge )

[judasin]

ben started to say something about the neatly ( ish ) organized piles he was heaping out of the way, but it was already too late. the deed was done. 

“ thanks. ” he took the form from him, leaning over to read it. another restraining order, or something to the same effect. the exact words were : keep that fucking lawyer off of our front porch. they’d been seeing a lot of that lately. things were getting bad. their plans were working. its all about money, benjamin. that’s why these people are diseased, the baptist had told him once. he looked up at the man when he made the offer, leaning back in his chair with a little sigh. “ you sure ? I know you’ve got visits to make, too. ”