why madoka is so important to me ź° ą¾ą½² ā©āøāøā© ź±ā„ļø
when we first meet madoka, we get the feeling that sheās just the naive silly anime girl that will be dumb until the end, but the more we get into the story the more we see she holds anger, she hates herself and doesnāt think sheās capable of being loved by her true personality. it is interesting that we have the homura pov, madoka gets more and more powerful every time homura goes back to save her, even kyubey says a lot of times that madoka has so much potential and sheās wasting it not becoming a magical girl. thatās exactly what got me thinking and coming back and back and back to this anime.
madoka doesnāt have this pov, for her sheās just useless, so does it matter she has all this power if she doesnāt acknowledge it? all of the timelines madoka became a magical girl, it was always for other people, it was always to please others, so even as a magical girl she wouldnāt use her capable force, because she doesnāt see it, she canāt imagine a world where sheās important enough to do something for herself, to acknowledge that she is unique and special. and still on this topic, madoka saw all the horrors that becoming a magical girl did to her friends and she still wants to become one just to help THEM when she had the whole opportunity to save herself, i canāt see more self hatred than this.
you canāt always please everyone, and you donāt have to. when she becomes a magical girl, she disappoints her family because at one point sheāll become a witch. if she doesnāt become a magical girl, she wonāt be able to save her friends. so she canāt keep with this attitude, and it hurts her more and more, she hates herself even much for not being capable to make a choice alone.
and i cant not talk about homura, that has been rooting for madoka in silence, and giving her whole life to save her. itās very sad to read the novel where we see the way homura sees madoka and the way madoka sees herself. itās so sad that homura can try her best to show madoka sheās special, but thatās something she has to figure it out, itās a battle she has to deal alone. no one can and have the obligation to mesure our value.
in the end of the anime, madoka finds the truth, she knows about all the path homura has been trough and she finally does a choice for herself. even if sheās still saving people, she finally acknowledges her power and embraces it, and she goes against what homura wanted, the person that gave her soul to madoka. in the begging of the show we couldnāt imagine this attitude coming from madoka, but now she sees it, she sees sheās valuable and can make a choice. sheās not that little girl anymore, she loves herself.
i watched this show in the lowest point of my life, itās hard to be a teenager and even harder during the pandemic, and i was like madoka, i couldnāt see my potential and was always depending on others to mesure my own importance. people wonāt be there always to assure what you want.
seeing madoka shining and becoming a goddess made me think i was capable of loving myself and acknowledging my talent ALONE. even if thereās people rooting for me, if i canāt love myself no one will convince me to. i see myself in madoka, my mom used to tell me i was such a fun person to be stuck in my room all day depressed, i had so much to show and it was sad to see me this way. and i thought about madoka, about the way she couldnāt see she was special.
in 2023, i spent a whole year homeschooled bc of depression. today, iām in the second year of my dream college, living in a big city after being 17 years in the country, and 8 hours away from my parents. to think i used to sleep with my mom because i panicked sleeping alone, i had so much improvement, and it was all because i saw my potential, by myself.
i will always love madoka and share the importance she has in my life, she helped me to see thereās always other ways to look at things.
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