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Viper // Part 10 // MAX VERSTAPPEN – N.01 (N.33/03)

Author’s Note: Casually drops the 10th part of Viper like it hasn’t been 3 years since my last update.

Life got a little crazy; work was stupid busy for a while (and still is every once in a while now that my team’s been downsized but we kept the existing workload…), there was quite a bit of travel (I’m gonna be away from home for like, 5 weeks starting mid-June again…) and I adopted the world’s sweetest golden retriever puppy that took up all my time for a looooong time, but she’s 2 now and things have finally calmed down somewhat… On top of all that, I was hit with a serious case of writers block.

All this to say, I may or may not be back. I’ve been writing more consistently for the last month and I still have this story mapped out to the end of 2023 (which was when I’d stopped writing it), but I have ideas going even up to like, now and the new regs. I’ve missed writing, so it feels good to be getting back into it and stretching this somewhat creative part of my brain again.

If anyone feels like re-reading the previous 9 parts before diving into this new one, they can be found on my masterlist, here.

I’ll do my best not to go another 3 years without posting the next part, but I have a good chunk of the 2020 season written out already so hopefully it won’t be too long until the next one.

ALSO, I’m going to have to redo my taglist considering it’s been so long since the last update and I feel like most of the usernames will be different or inactive. If you want to be added, leave a comment all I’ll tag you in future updates 😊

Without further ado, enjoy part 10 of Viper!

(FYI, we're doing a bit of jumping back and forth in time, so anything not italics is 'present' and things in italics are flashbacks to the past.)

Summary: Y/N fills the vacant Red Bull seat at the beginning of the 2019 season, craziness ensues.

Characters: Max Verstappen / Driver Reader, Daniel Ricciardo x Driver Reader (besties).

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: Fluff, Comfort, Drama, Angst. All the good stuff. Mentions of sex, Mature content, language, etc. Google Translate for Dutch words.

July 2nd, 2020.

You scanned your paddock pass at the turnstile, your photo popping up onto the screen confirming your identity. You walked through the gate, nodding a greeting to the attendant who surveyed from a safe distance. Your performance coach scanned in behind you, and press officer waiting a safe distance behind them filming the experience from their phone to be used as content throughout the weekend.

You lifted your hand to wave to the handful of spread-out photographers, smiling softly through your Red Bull branded mask even though no one else could see it, pulling your headphones (aka the ones you’d stolen from Dan last year) down to hang around your neck, Eminem continuing to play softly. It was crazy, how you could still clearly hear the music playing due how baren the paddock actually was. No journalists beyond a select few who were confined to the vast media pen, minimal team and FIA personnel, and no fans. Formula 1 was back, but nowhere near what it had been before.

It was a crazy contrast to the last time you’d been in a paddock, 4 months ago in Australia.

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March, 2020

You landed in Melbourne pretty late on Tuesday night, the process of getting through customs taking forever because they were taking people’s temperatures and asking them a series of questions about potential coronavirus symptoms. You had an email from the team waiting in your inbox the moment you’d gone off airplane mode, with new recommended guidelines to be followed when it came to fan interactions. No signing merch, no pictures, avoid whatever you can. Your Wednesday schedule had also been modified, taking away some of the meet and greets and events you’d been supposed to attend off track. You were too tired to overthink it after essentially flying for almost 24 hours straight, immediately heading off to bed the moment you’d checked into the hotel. You popped a sleeping pill and settled into bed, sending a text to Daniel that you’d check in with him in the morning and grab breakfast together because you were exhausted.

Media on Thursday ahead of the 2020 Australian Grand Prix was interesting, to say the least.

The day had been off to a strange start, getting pulled into a briefing the moment you’d arrived at the track with Red Bull, everyone now wearing disposable facemasks inside. Rumour had it that a couple of mechanics at McLaren weren’t feeling great so they’d gone to get tested for the virus. The directive from the FIA was to carry-on status quo until it was confirmed, and then proper action would be taken. You could see throughout the room how uneasy a good chunk of the team felt with this uncertainty hanging in the air, as it became clearer by the minute that this virus wasn’t going to be ignore and forgotten.

Your press conference had been weird, journalists more focused on asking for your view about whether or not it was safe to carry on with the grand prix rather than the actual racing itself. You stuck to your PR prompted answers, keeping neutral about it. You’d follow whatever health and safety guidelines the FIA would undoubtedly dole out if it meant you could race. You just wanted to get in the car and do what you were meant to do.

There was another briefing at the end of the day, now that some countries around the world were talking about closing their borders to try and limit the spread of the virus. That ruffled a few feathers within the team, people anxious about the border closing and stopping them from making it home after the race. For now, nothing was confirmed but there were heavy rumours that it could happen within the coming hours. Things were changing, this corona virus thing making itself a very big thorn in everyone’s side.

Overnight, other sport leagues around the world started cancelling events until further notice, now that case numbers were rising everywhere. Concerts were cancelled in the upcoming weeks, schools shut down, the world health organization recommended to postpone all large gatherings until the situation was under better control. It was also confirmed that those McLaren mechanics had tested positive, and whoever they’d come in contact with could have been exposed to the virus as well.

You got to the track on Friday, and no amount of medication could’ve stopped you from feeling the unease and anxiousness radiating throughout the entire paddock. Still was still packed to the brim with people, but everyone was keeping their distance as best as they could from one another, and a majority of the people in the paddock were wearing some of those disposable facemasks. You were shepherded immediately over to Red Bull hospitality, the teams working even harder to keep amongst themselves as they waited for official word from the FIA to see whether or not there would be any racing this weekend.

You sat in the back corner with your performance coach Jordan, trying to remain focused in case you would actually be getting in that car in a few hours. You didn’t even want to think about the race being cancelled and what that could mean for the championship. One less race meant one less chance to gain some valuable points. 2020 was supposed to be your year, and you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that. How were you supposed to win if a global pandemic forced everything to shut down?

You’d seen the headlines on TV the night before, knowing that this impending shut down was going to put everything on hold for an unknown amount of time. Everything was going to change all over again, and it was even further out of your control… You startled when someone plopped down into the empty seat next to yours, snapping out of your spiraling thoughts. Your brow furrowed when you caught the honey brown eyes you’d recognize anywhere, even with a mask covering his face.

“How the hell did you even get in here?” You questioned, slightly amused at the visual that popped into your mind of Daniel sneaking into the Red Bull hospitality when teams were meant to be keeping to themselves.

“If someone would bother answering their texts, I wouldn’t have had to sneak in… not that anyone really tried to stop me.” Daniel shrugged, leaning back into his chair. You were notorious for not paying attention to your phone when you were at the track, especially if you were getting in the car that day. You’d look after the sessions wrapped, avoiding any possible distractions from the little device. “What’s Red Bull doing?”

“What do you mean?”

Daniel looked unimpressed by your confusion. “McLaren and Renault are pulling out of the GP, if they don’t cancel it. It came out this morning that the UK Border is shutting down on Monday and they want to get everyone back home. I won’t be surprised if most teams follow their lead. They don’t want to end up stranded here if things actually shut down like they’re talking about.”

Instead of focusing on the pandemic, your brain caught on to what should’ve been an irrelevant detail. “I get how you’d know for Renault, but how did you find out about McLaren’s plans?”

Daniel’s gaze widened slightly, and he almost nervously looked around to make sure no one was eavesdropping. Even Jordan took the hint, getting up from his seat near you and heading off to grab some smoothie thing you were meant to drink soon. Daniel, being his dramatic self, waiting until Jordan was out of earshot before answering your question. “I might’ve had a meeting with Zak Brown first thing this morning before shit really hit the fan.”

“What?!” You asked, voice louder than intended with the bomb Daniel just dropped on your lap. “You didn’t.”

“I did.” You saw the corners of Daniel’s eyes crinkling upwards as he smiled behind his mask. “3 years, and what’s supposed to be a car that’ll challenge the Mercs and Red Bull. You can’t tell anyone. Only Zak, Blake and my lawyer know.”

You made a gesture showing that your lips were sealed, as your smile grew to match Daniel’s. “You wanted to sign with them when you first decided to leave Red Bull. I’m happy for you, Dan.”

Daniel’s smile seemed to soften even more behind his mask. “Cyril’s going to fucking hate me when I break the news… We hadn’t even started talking about extending yet… I feel pretty shit about that.”

“You shouldn’t.” You mumbled, shrugging a shoulder. “It’s racing. You’re doing what you have to do to win.” And besides, Daniel knew all about the secret conversations you’d been having with Toto since the Prize Giving ceremony. You were keeping everything quiet, giving Red Bull this one season to prove they wanted you as an equal to your teammate, rather than second driver. If things weren’t going your way by summer break, you wouldn’t hesitate to sign on the dotted line with Mercedes.

“Your team principle would get it.” Daniel mumbled in acknowledgement, eyeing Christian and Helmut from across the room. “Cyril’s going to act like a teenage girl who just got cheated on…”

You couldn’t help the chuckle that snuck out of you at the visual, the smile remaining on your face as you spoke. “He’s a very passionate person... I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Daniel’s head dramatically flopped backwards, silently agreeing with you.

“Just when I was getting used to the obnoxious yellow, now you’re gonna be stuck in a traffic cone orange…” You giggled when Daniel jokingly smacked your arm.

“Please, we all know if anyone can pull the orange off, it’s me.”

This led you right into a heated discussion of which team actually had the best colours on the grid, Daniel fighting for his silly bright colours where as you preferred the subtlety of the navy and black team kits. Maybe you were biased towards the navy because they were the team to give you your shot, but there was also no denying that it was one of the better looking team kits overall. Your whole race suit looked cool, with the pops of yellow (your boots and a good chunk of your helmet) standing out and looking pretty damn good when you were in the car or up on the podium.

You were snapped out of your podium daydreaming when a collective groan made its way throughout the room, Christian standing from where he’d been seated across the room to address his anxious team. You knew instantly from his wide-eyed gaze what he was going to say, your stomach sinking before he’d even opened his mouth.

“It’s official. The Australian Grand Prix has been cancelled.” He stated grimly, a chorus is gasps breaking out across the room even though a majority of the people had been expecting it. “We’re packing everything up and arranging charters for all team personnel as soon as possible to head back to England… We don’t know yet about the next race but seeing the headlines, I wouldn’t be surprised if Vietnam and China were cancelled as well, all things considered.”

Christian went on to talk about a possible quarantine when returning to England, and how they would work out how to continue operations as normally as possible while working remotely. The factory would be shutting down, only extremely essential personnel would be allowed inside once they managed to get the proper safety equipment. If anyone had any questions, they were directed to the comms team who were keeping to date on safety requirements and the political changes. When Christian finished speaking, the air was thick with disbelief, people taking a few minutes to figure their shit out.

You knew you really shouldn’t be upset that the race had been called off, because logically everyone’s safety was far more important than the possible points you were missing out on. But, your entire focus this year had been aimed towards having a good start to the season and doing everything you could to win. There wasn’t anything to win right now, so what the fuck did you have left to distract yourself with? Despite the fact that you should feel numb for a few more hours before you’d be due for your next dose of medication, the thought of the thing you’d been working so hard towards just being gone sent a wave of anxiety through your system.

No one knew what was going to happen next.

“I think I’m going to skip the flight to the UK.” Daniel mumbled after a few minutes had passed, people around you starting to get to work dismantling the garage and hospitality unit. “No one knows how long this… thing is going to put everything on hold. Might as well wait it out on the farm.” He paused, already typing away on his phone, probably trying to work out a flight back to Perth. “You’re welcome to hang out here too, if you want.”

You could only hope it wouldn’t be for as long as Daniel was making it out to be. 3 races would already be 7 weeks. You couldn’t imagine this whole thing lasting much longer than that. “I think I’d rather be close to the team, in case things change. Easier to train and stay focused around my sim too, and Monaco’s only a 2 hour flight instead of 21...”

Daniel’s brow furrowed as he started frowning under his mask. “Y/N… The worlds shutting down because of this thing. I don’t think anyone’s going to be training if we get forced into a lockdown like they’re talking about.”

You shrugged a shoulder, mind already essentially made up. A delayed start to the season only meant more time to prepare. You could continue training, even if it was on your own at home. You could never be too prepared. And eventually, whenever you’d be able to race again, you wouldn’t have fallen behind. You had to make the most out of this year, regardless of whatever it threw at you. “I’m going to go back to Monaco.”

Daniel figured you weren’t going to budge, settling back into his seat. “Well, if you get sick of the flat at any point, you know you’re always welcome.”

You nodded, watching as people continued to bustle around the room. A few tables away from you, you watched as Max stood as started pacing while speaking on the phone, shoulders tensed as he had what appeared of be an uncomfortable conversation with whoever was on the other side of the line. Daniel caught your eyeline, speaking the first thought that ran through his head without thinking. “Jos is going to be angry, even if it wasn’t Max’s choice to cancel the race.”

You blamed the overwhelming situation for the frown that made its way onto your face. “Jos is a fucking cunt.”

If Daniel was surprised by the venom in your voice, he wisely chose not to comment on it, nodding his head in agreement instead. “He still needs to figure that one out. Things will be so much easier for him after that happens. Everything’s easier when you don’t let your past weigh you down.”

You made a sound of agreement as well, biting your tongue to stop even more words from coming out. You were definitely not in the right mindset for the conversation Daniel was not-so-subtly hinting at. In fact, you didn’t get the chance to say anything back to Daniel because Christian appeared in front of your table, gaze narrowed when he realized that Daniel had been sitting here for a while.

“You shouldn’t be here.” Christian deadpanned.

Daniel laughed, but didn’t make any move to get out of his seat.

Christian looked like he was considering chewing his former driver out for the breach in protocol, but you could see him physically decide that it wasn’t the hill he was going to die on today. He set his focus back on Y/N, the stress of the situation making him look already exhausted. “Do we need to make special arrangements to get you back to Canada?”

“No, I’m going back to Monaco.”

“Great! You can go with Max tonight. He’s bringing a handful of people on his plane back to France.” You didn’t have the chance to refute, Christian carrying on. “We’ll be cancelling all your commitments for the next few weeks until this sorts itself out. Stay home, out of trouble. No scandal for my drivers breaking covid protocols, understood?” He waited for your nod in confirmation before continuing. “We’ll have virtual debriefs every day to access the situation, you’ll receive invitations to your company provided email and have to connect using your work computer. Virtual security and all that…”

“This is going to last longer than a couple weeks, wont it…” You mumbled, more to yourself but Christian caught it anyways.

“Unfortunately, I think you may be right.”

The grim confirmation seemed to be the piece of straw that broke the camel’s back, the gravity of the situation hitting you all of the sudden. The world was shutting down. People were getting sick and dying. It was incredibly selfish of you to be upset about this season getting messed up as a side effect to a global pandemic, but that didn’t mean you weren’t upset.

“This was supposed to be my year.”

“We don’t know that the whole season is going to be called off. We’re still in the very early stages of understanding the situation.” Christian was quick to say. “And should the rest of this season be cancelled; I’m promising you right now this isn’t your one and only chance. We were going to reach out to your team about extending your contract as soon as the race finished on Sunday. You’re an integral part of this team, Y/N. You have a home, and seat, with this team as long as you want it.”

You knew that Christian’s words were meant to be reassuring, but they did nothing to quell the rising swell of anxiety you felt deep within your bones. You quietly thanked him, and mumbled something about going to pack up your things so you could get things moving, giving Daniel a quick hug goodbye even though you probably weren’t supposed to with everything going on right now.

You moved almost on autopilot, gathering your things in the motorhome and packing up anything you’d need from here. The paddock was a flurry of activity, teams already working on dismantling everything and heading back home, race cancelled. Reporters pressed for comment as you walked blankly through the paddock, but you didn’t know what do say. Your goal of winning the championship this year had essentially just evaporated right before your eyes.

What the hell were you going to do now?

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July 2nd, 2020

The media day press conference looked a little different, in this new covid-friendly era of F1.

You were sitting alone in your driver room in the motorhome, laptop set out in front of you as you joined your scheduled question session. Every outlet had an invitation to the meeting and would be allowed a certain number of questions mediated by your own press liaison. It was a way to talk to all the usual people, given that access to the paddock was so limited at the moment. Because you were alone in your driver room, you thankfully didn’t have to wear a mask.

You watched as Max popped up on the screen, the admin highlighting the pair of you for the Red Bull session and getting things underway. The one nice thing about the virtual session was that it was far less intimidating, starring at a screen rather than a room full of reporters all trying to talk over one another. Zoom automatically sorted out participants as they raised their hands to ask a question, providing a nice sense of order.

“Y/N, Max, how are you both feeling about the season getting underway, despite the ongoing global pandemic?”

You easily fell into media mode, answering the question in the way that you had been briefed by the comms team. You made sure to highlight all the precautions that the FIA and the teams were taking in order to provide a safe environment and event for fans to view on TV. You admitted to being a bummed that there were no in person spectators, but that it seemed to be a necessary thing in order for the championship to take place. You made sure to talk about how much you were looking forward to getting the cars back on track tomorrow, wanting to pick up exactly where you’d left off during the pre-season testing with a car that seemed to be on par with the Mercedes.

Max ended up providing a similar answer, echoing a lot of your points and his own desire to get the season under way. You went back and forth on a handful of other questions on the upcoming weekend, going into some slightly more technical details on updates made to the car after the shutdown had been lifted on all the teams after the unexpected months long break.

“Fans seemed to appreciate the online engagement that a lot of the drivers were able to provide over the last few months, bringing a little bit of lightness into their days. Any plans to carry on with the online races in the off season?”

Max took the lead on that one, because everyone knew that he was a little bit of a nerd when it came to iRacing. He was even looking into setting up his own professional team, slowly looking into acquiring other talented online racers for that.

“Y/N?”

You smirked, remembering some of the crazy races you’d been a part of with some of the other drivers on the grid, Lando making sure you had all the necessary equipement to be able to participate in the streams right off the start of lockdown. “I’ll admit, it was fun causing a little bit of extra… chaos when the stakes were a little less high than they are here.”

“How else did you pass the time, during the initial lockdown? I’m sure some fans wouldn’t mind ideas, as some areas around the world are still under heavy restrictions.”

“Oh you know, I think it was the same as everyone else.” You kept your media trained smile on your face. “Lots of Netflix, learned to make some sourdough, plenty of solo hikes around Monaco. It was nothing too crazy on my end.”

“And you, Max?”

He shrugged. “Fifa with some mates.”

“Surely you didn’t just play Fifa for 4 months?” The journalist asked as a follow up, hoping for more from Max.

“Hard to do more when your apartment floods and you can’t live in your own home for most of the lockdown.” He stated bluntly. “Try sorting out repairs and renovations when everyone needs to be 6 feet apart and most stores are closed.”

“Oh, hopefully you weren’t stuck in a hotel the whole time.”

Max’s jaw tightened almost imperceptibly. “I have good friends who happened to be out of the country and let me stay at theirs.”

You didn’t blink, keeping your face as straight as you could. He needed to shut the fuck up, before telling the whole world where he’d been sleeping for most of the pandemic…

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April 4th, 2020

The first few weeks of lockdown in Monaco was… insane.

You hadn’t left the apartment since walking through the door that first week. Every day, the situation seemed to evolve into something even more crazy and out of control, the entire world shutting down as it tried to get a handle on the virus and mitigate the damage. There was still so much unknown, and the numbers just kept getting worse and worse no matter how everyone had been forced to give up their lives and stay home. The FIA had officially postponed the rest of the season until further notice, though that seemed to be the least of everyone’s worries. Countries around the world were cancelling mass gatherings and events all the way through to the end of the year, showing that this would be a problem not only for a few weeks but rather months ahead.

You couldn’t remember the last time in your life that you had been completely alone for this long. Zoom meetings didn’t count. There was no coach monitoring your every breath, no engineers asking for feedback, sponsors asking for more than you were willing to give, people in general expecting you to win and focus solely on winning. There was nothing but silence (and way too much Netflix.) And sure, it had been nice for the first couple of days when you slept in, made yourself some pancakes with heaps of syrup (on what should’ve been a race morning) and settled in to watch a docuseries about crazy Americans who owned tigers.

Your life had been flipped on its head, and everything you’d dedicated yourself to over the last few months just… went away. You should’ve been more freaked out about the whole thing, but at the same time you were extremely aware that there was nothing you could do about it. You didn’t have a choice, everything entirely out of your control in a different way that it ever had been before. For someone who’s only goal up until this point had been winning, you were doing surprisingly well for yourself when there was nothing to be won.

That is, until a full week had passed of doing absolutely nothing and you felt like you were going to lose your mind.

You should’ve stayed in Australia, where Daniel would’ve surely kept you entertained with his shenanigans. He’d been sending you videos of tricks he’d been managing to pull off on the minibikes at the farm, it looked so fun… The FOMO was real. Now, you weren’t even allowed into the country because you weren’t a citizen. Borders all over the world had shut down, only letting their citizens in. You may be well off, but you didn’t have the power to bend those rules. So, you were stuck in this tiny apartment until things blew over, and the principality of Monaco had never felt smaller.

You spent the next week crawling out of your skin. You worked out more than you probably should to compensate for being bored, spent hours teaching yourself new works on the piano in the living room, and cooked way too much food for one person that you ended up having to freeze in smaller portions for later. You even started making sourdough, though that turned out to be a longer process than expected with having to create a starter from scratch and it taking forever to double in size…

One night about two weeks after lockdown had started, the doorbell rang through the room, startling you out of the nap you’d unintentionally taken on the couch. You’d been watching an old season of the bachelor that you’d missed when it aired, and clearly the drama hadn’t been enough to keep you awake through the last episode. A quick glance at the time told you that your food delivery had probably come early, so you didn’t rush to answer the door.

You never would’ve expected to open the door and find an impatient Max Verstappen standing on the other side. He had a couple of suitcases next to him, a couple of canvas bags and a large cat carrier. He looked exhausted, like he was on the verge of falling asleep right at your feet. A cat mewed from inside the carrier, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Uh, you’re not supposed to be here.” You managed to mumble, grabbing the mask that was hanging on the door handle and holding it over your mouth.

“Daniel said we could stay here.” He said in return, making this situation about a thousand times more confusing than it already was. You assumed the we was him and the cat… cats?

“Daniel said what now?!”

Max huffed in a long, very clearly irritated breath before launching into an explanation. “The buildings in Monaco are all very fucking old and the pipes in the unit above mine all decided to spontaneously combust last night. The only room that’s not ruined is my office and sim room, where the cats have been locked up all day while I sorted out what I could. I can’t be there while they fix the leak and repair everything that was damaged, because of all these stupid new covid restrictions and the fact that the city is still technically under lockdown. I called other people to see… but then Daniel called and heard what was going on and said I could use his room while he was still in Australia as long as I cleared it with you first. I would’ve called to see if it was okay, but you blocked me after Abu Dhabi. If it’s too much, then please just take the cats and I’ll get a hotel room or something for myself in the meantime… I know things aren’t good between us but the cats deserve not to be stuck in a kennel for weeks while this gets sorted out in the middle of a pandemic that no one saw coming…”

You just gaped at him as he kept nervously rambling about how things were so out of control with this pandemic. You really should’ve checked your phone before answering the door, Daniel would’ve probably tried to call to give you a heads up. It’s not like him to spring shit like this on you, especially considering he knew the background between you and Max. “Since when do you have cats?”

“Victoria was visiting after the holidays and talked me into it. Said it would be good for me to focus on things other than racing.” He mumbled, cheeks going slightly pink as he was clearly embarrassed about this whole situation. You definitely weren’t the first person on his list of people he’d turn to for help in a mess like this.

You ought to say no, if you had any self-preservation instinct. Your whole plan for the year was dependent on keeping a safe distance from the man across from you, and making sure he wouldn’t distract you. You had gone through so much over the past few months to make sure you would be left alone and have every possible chance to win the championship this year. Now that there was no racing, what the hell had even been the point of all of it? Saying yes would only lead to more complications, stuck in the same small space together for who knew how long. It could ruin months of work.

He was supposed to hate you.

Despite all the reasons you knew you should close the door in Max’s face, you found yourself making a the stupid decision. “I guess if Daniel said it’s fine… it’s technically his house.”

Max’s brows rose in surprise, like he’d been so sure you would turn him away. “Really?”

You forced a stiff nod. “Like you said, it would be mean to stick the cats in a kennel for who knows how long. And… it’s a big enough apartment. We can figure out how to stay out of each other’s way. Just… I don’t want anyone to find out that we’re in the same house. The media would have a field day if they knew…”

Max still seemed hesitant, but the relief was evident on his face as he nodded in agreement to the only condition you’d laid out. “I- Thank you.”

You nodded once again in return, pulling the door open wider and dropping the mask. If you were essentially going to be living together for the foreseeable future, there was no point in wearing the mask anymore.

Max slowly made his way inside, dragging one of the suitcases in behind him and carefully walking around you. You stepped out to grab the other suitcase, wordlessly following your teammate back into the apartment. You dragged the suitcase along the hardwood floors, right over to one of the spare bedrooms (which happened to be the one furthest from yours.) You placed in next to the door on the inside of the room, watching as Max carefully placed the cat carrier on the floor in the middle of the room.

He slowly opened the door to the carrier, two small identical looking Bengal cats immediately dashing out and running out of the makeshift cage to hide under the bed. Max let out a long breath, closing the carrier and moving it to the corner of the room. You kept your eyes on the bed, tiny smile on your face at the skittish cats.

“I’ll set up most of their things in here so that it’s out of the way.” Max said, grabbing your attention again. “But, is it alright to put their food and water in the kitchen?”

“Yeah, go ahead.” You didn’t see any reason to disagree.

“Alright.” Max said, letting out another breath and eyeing the suitcase next to you. He looked like he wanted to say more, but also like he didn’t know how to say it.

So, you took the easy way out.

“I’ll uh, let you get settled in.” You mumbled quietly, already starting to back out of the room. “I’ll be… on the sim if you need anything.” You caught Max’s nod just before you turned around, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind you.

You were quick to abandon the TV in the living room, shutting everything off before hiding away in the home office that housed the simulator. You’d grabbed your phone from the couch, sending Daniel a series of texts to show your frustration about the lack of heads up, but otherwise showed that you understood the situation. He responded with a bunch of jokes about it probably being better for you to not be completely alone for the foreseeable future, probably seeing it as a way for you and Max to work your shit out.

If only he knew how impossible that would be.

Before powering out the sim, you came up with a quick mental game plan to help you pretend that this wasn’t even happening. You could work around Max; make it like he wasn’t even here. You had a lovely television and entertainment system in your bedroom and could probably wake up early enough to avoid him in the mornings, before shutting yourself in the sim room in the afternoon to avoid him further. You could make this work. You’d do your thing, and he would do his. Everything would be fine.

God, you just hoped this wouldn’t turn out to be a massive disaster.

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July 2nd, 2020

Thankfully, the rest of the press conference went without a hitch. You continued to feed the PR approved lines, talking about the championship that they’d planned so far and other races that could tentatively be added in before the end of the year. You steered clear of sensitive topics with practiced ease, dancing around a question about the mandated vaccines and the divisive opinions around that in the industry. You continued to echo your hopes to win the championship this year, repeating that your top priority was to improve upon your standing from the year before and doing whatever it would take in order to accomplish that goal.

That was the one thing that hadn’t changed, despite everything.

You eventually left the press conference zoom meeting, leaning back on the sofa and letting out a long breath. You had a couple of minutes to yourself, before you’d be jumping onto another zoom meeting with the factory team to go over set up options for the weekend. It was silly, how you, your race engineer, Max and his engineer, Christian and Jonathan were all at the track and yet had to each join this meeting separately in order to meet the proper covid guidelines.

It reminded you of the countless meeting you’d sat in on over the past few months, Max sitting mere meters away in the room that had become his in Daniel’s apartment.

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April 9th, 2020

For the first couple of days since Max had essentially moved in, you were very selective about when you’d leave the safety of your bedroom; that being when you were sure that Max was in his own so you wouldn’t bump into him. You wouldn’t stay out too long, either making enough food for two and leaving the other half sealed in the fridge or taking half of whatever Max had managed to whip up if he beat you to it. You’d occasionally get distracted by the cats, who tended to follow you around the kitchen hoping for attention and head scratches. You still weren’t sure which was Jimmy and which was Sassy (you had to give Max points for those names, being two of the best clubs in Monaco), but one of them had taken to meowing at your door in the mornings and demanding morning snuggles while you hid from the world.

You and Max had wordlessly settled into a routine, pretending that the other didn’t exist while still considering them throughout the day. You went on the sim in the afternoons while Max worked out on the balcony, switching roles in the evenings before retreating to your own spaces. It was still like living alone, except you weren’t. It was weird, but it wasn’t that big of a change at the same time, all things considered. At this point, there wasn’t much else the world could throw at you that would change everything more than the worldwide pandemic lockdown…

This morning was no different than the last few, one of the cats currently curled up on your lap as you scrolled through endless amounts of TikTok videos to pass the time. There was an endless feed of videos of people doing whatever they could think of to keep themselves entertained throughout this lockdown. However, you were starting to get hungry due to not having eaten anything yet today. You listened closely for any signs of life throughout the apartment, not hearing anything so you decided that it was probably safe to venture out of your room.

So carefully lifted the cat from your lap, stroking in between its ears for a few seconds before pushing yourself out of bed. The cat stretched, but dutifully followed you out of the room. It was no surprise when it jumped up onto the kitchen island the second you opened the fridge door, intending to make yourself a yogurt bowl. You placed the yogurt container onto the counter, as well as whatever fruit caught your eye inside the fridge. The cat sniffed every single item you laid out, before rubbing its fluffy little cheeks against the container of blueberries.

You couldn’t help but smile as you plopped some yogurt into a bowl, and opened the blueberry container, the cat letting out the cutest little meow, clearly politely asking you to share. You scooped a handful into your yogurt, before grabbing a few more and holding your hand out for the cat. It sniffed the berries in your hand, before carefully snatching one up and dropping it back onto the counter to eat it properly. The process was repeated a few times, the cat full on purring as you started to simultaneously scratch that spot between its ears.

“You’re feeding her blueberries?”

Your head snapped up, not even aware that you weren’t alone in the room anymore. You glanced between the cat in question and the one remaining blueberry on the palm of your hand, nudging it back in the cat’s direction. “Yeah, she likes them.”

“It’s cute until she pukes it up on my pillow in about an hour.” Max said, completely unimpressed. “Sassy has a sensitive stomach.”

You slowly pulled your hand away before the cat could get the last blueberry, popping it into your own mouth instead and ignoring the look of betrayal of Sassy’s face. “Oh. My bad.”

“It’s ok. Just… If you want to give her treats make sure it’s the right ones.” He said, walking over to one of the cupboards on the other side of the island where he’d stored the cat food. He pulled out a bag of fancy looking cat treats, pulling a few out and dropping them in front of Sassy on the counter. She ate them immediately, almost swallowing them whole.

You watched as Max smiled softly as he stroked the cat’s fur, Sassy purring and pressing her forehead against his hand. You could see how much Max cared for his cats, face lighting up from the small amount of attention he received from Sassy. After a few moments, you went back to preparing your yogurt, tossing a handful of raspberries into your bowl and the precise amount of granola mix that was written out on your meal plan. You grabbed a spoon, mixing he contents of your bowl together and taking a bite.

“What are we going to do for the debrief later?”

“Hm?” You hummed, through a mouthful of yogurt.

“The updates call with Red Bull.”

You considered it for a second, only seeing the inevitable questions. You hadn’t told anyone about your unexpected roommate and doubted that Max had either. The two of your showing up on a zoom call together would just raise way too many questions that you didn’t want to deal with. “Uh, they don’t know that you’re here, right? No one’s supposed to know, especially since we’re all supposed to be quarantining separately for a couple more days technically. I think it’s two weeks officially…”

If he wasn’t so focused on Sassy, you were almost sure that Max’s face would’ve soured. “No, they don’t know. I just told Christian I’d figured something out in the meantime.”

“Ok.” You nodded. “I’ll take the call from the sim room, and you can just take it from Dan’s room. He has a desk that faces the window, it has decent light.” You rambled on, grabbing your yogurt with the intention of bringing it back to your room to finish off. “We need to be careful with that. It would lead to too many questions.”

“You don’t have to hide all day, you know.” Max called out as you started walking away.

You paused. “I’m not hiding.”

Max chuckled to himself, calling out your lie. “Yes, you are.”

Ok, so maybe you were hiding but it was easier this way. Safer if you kept yourself at a distance. Easier to remember what the point of the distance even was. Quarantining together when it looked like Max didn’t really hate you even after everything you’d put him through a few short months ago would only make things more difficult. It was for your own good. It wasn’t like Jos’s threat became irrelevant because of the change in circumstance. Eventually, you’d all be racing again and things would go back to normal. Getting close would only make it harder when things went back to normal.

“I’m going on the sim.” You mumbled, no longer bothering to deny Max’s statement as you continued to make your way out of the kitchen. You didn’t let out the breath you’d been holding until the door was firmly closed behind you, noticing that Sassy had followed you only when she bumped her head against your shin.

You settled in the sim, though only loaded up the iRacing program instead of the Red Bull sim software, happy to waste your morning away doing some racing that didn’t matter nearly as much. All the tension eased from your shoulders as you got lost in the mindlessness that was online racing, moving from one lobby to the next, Sassy curled back up in your lap sleeping the rest of the morning away.

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July 3rd, 2020

“Y/N, hold up!” You heard from behind you, just as you passed through the turnstile on your way out of the paddock. You looked over your shoulder, spotting Daniel jogging over, leaving Michael in the dust behind him. You raised a brow, waiting patiently until he joined you in front of the car waiting to bring you back to your hotel.

“What’s up?” You asked quietly, eyeing the track employee who was mentally measuring the distance between you and Daniel.

“Wanna grab dinner back at mine? We’re in the same hotel.”

You were about to decline because technically, it wasn’t allowed. But then, there was no point because you lived with Daniel back in Monaco so there was literally no point in the pair of you maintaining social distancing guidelines when you were part of each other’s bubbles. And, the drivers had to take rapid tests every morning before coming to the paddock so the odds of catch it from someone already in the paddock were rather low. “Fine, but take your own car. Christian’s already on my ass because I signed a hat for a fan this morning outside the hotel…”

And honestly, you were glad you said yes later on in the evening when you and Daniel sprawled out on the couch, bellies full after eating some room service schnitzels and fries, laughing at internet memes and talking about anything other than racing. It almost made it feel like it was a normal race weekend, without the masks and restrictions and empty grandstands.

It wasn’t until Daniel finished his second glass of wine, that he asked the question. “How’s the Red Bull this year, really? None of the sandbagging bullshit.”

You eyed him for a moment, before answering honestly. “Unless the mercs are using the world’s heaviest sandbags, I think we have a car that’s equal, if not better. They have a slight edge on us power wise, cause Honda is still working on perfecting the engine and it is getting better every other race. But Newey designed a car that beats them in the corners. It’s so sharp, brakes beautifully when the balance is right, and the exits have been so clean and grounded.” You paused, meeting his gaze head on. “I have a car that can win the championship this year.”

It was impossible to miss the flash of regret in Daniel’s eyes, knowing that he would be the one driving this car if he hadn’t chosen to leave Red Bull. But as quickly as that flash appeared, it disappeared and was replaced by a genuine soft smile. “Even against Lewis in the merc that’s built for him?”

You nodded once. “This car is built for me.” You said, even if it wasn’t fully true. The one secret blessing about having Max as your teammate was that your driving styles were so similar, it made it easy to develop a car that would suit you both. The car was aggressive, sharp, and beautiful. It responded smoothly to every single input or movement, driving so well you didn’t even have to think about it most of the time. You just drove. You explained all of this to Daniel, knowing that he would just get it.

“Fuck.” Daniel smirked, nodding along as you spoke. “What are you going to do about Max? If the car is that good, he’s going to fight you for every inch on that track.”

Truth be told, Max wasn’t the one you were worried about. You knew, despite everything, that on track he would race you fairly. Well, maybe fairly wasn’t the right word but you knew he wouldn’t cross the line. No, the one that worried you was Jos, if you did beat his son. Sure, you had a deal right now, but things could change. You needed to take advantage of this car and this chance while you had it, before Jos decided that the deal was no longer worth it.

“I’m going to do whatever I have to do to win.” You said, unable to hide your determination.

Daniel was watching you almost curiously now, seriously considering everything you’d just talked about. “What if it gets to be too much?”

You knew what he was asking, without really asking. He wanted to know what you would do if you ended up having another panic attack before a session. If you really had a shot at the championship, the pressure on you to perform would be higher than ever before, and that was without even thinking about Max or Lewis or anything that could be thrown at you. You could be hard on yourself, regardless of results. Your own mind could be more dangerous than anything on track sometimes.

What Daniel didn’t know was that you had extra help with that, this year. You had since December, the last time that you’d cracked. You weren’t going to let panic attacks be the reason you lost what could be your one and only chance to win the driver’s championship.

“It won’t.” You answered confidently.

Daniel raised a brow.

“I…” You considered for just one moment telling him the truth but ultimately decided against it. Michael already knew, and that was enough to make sure you didn’t take it too far. “I feel good, Dan.”

“Fine.” Daniel conceded, leaning back into the sofa. “And I guess this means you still won’t tell me what happened with Max?”

“Nope.” You shook your head, answering the same thing you always did when this question came up. And as Daniel always did, he accepted your non-answer and changed the topic back to something slightly safer. You knew it wouldn’t stop Dan from asking again every once in a while, until one day you’d decide that it wasn’t as big a deal anymore and told him the truth.

It reminded you of the late-night chats you’d had over facetime over the last couple of months, back when he’d been on the farm in Australia and you’d been stuck at the apartment with Max in Monaco.

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April 30th, 2020.

“Why are you up this early?” You asked, catching the first rays of early morning sunlight behind Daniel’s head on camera. It was just past 5:00am for him, the evening moon high in the sky for you in Monaco, a solid six hours behind.

“Farm stuff.” He shrugged, before launching into an explanation about how he’d been doing a lot of work on the farm to keep things in line while the restrictions prevented the usual workers from doing their jobs. “It’s kind of nice, to still be doing something that sort of useful, you know?”

You didn’t say anything in response, watching the moonlit harbour from where you were sat on the balcony, the spring breeze providing a slight chill since the sun had long set over the principality.

“How’s Monaco?”

“Quiet.” You hummed, swirling what was left of your single wine glass from hours ago. You’d been sitting out on the patio, enjoying the fresh air, since the sun had started to set. “It’s weird. There’s no one around. I went up to tête de chien the other day and didn’t see another soul the entire trail.”

“Isn’t the point of lockdown not to leave the house? You aren’t supposed to see other people.”

You rolled your eyes, finishing what was left in your glass and making a face at the bitter taste from it having been poured so long ago. “Like I said, there was no one out there. I’ve been locked in your stupid apartment…” the with Max went unsaid “…for over a month now. I needed a break with fresh air where I could pretend that things weren’t completely fucked for an hour.”

“I get it.” Dan nodded sympathetically. “There’s a reason I chose to stay here instead of going back to Europe. Can you imagine if it was the three of us stuck in that apartment? I don’t think we’d all make it out alive.”

“Fuck off.” You muttered, biting at your lip. “Actually, you’re probably right. Max would’ve definitely thrown you off the balcony within the first week cause you’re so goddamn annoying.”

Daniel laughed at your saltiness but did not disagree with your statement. The three of you would’ve driven each other insane. However, you’d just opened the door wide open for him to ask the questions you’d been avoiding the last few times you’d talked. “How’s it been with Max around after… everything.”

You considered your answer for a while before speaking.

In reality, not much had changed because you still made it a point to avoid your temporary roommate as much as you could. Aside from the occasional encounter in the kitchen where you’d grab half the food that the other had prepared for lunch or dinner, you kept to yourselves. It likely helped that you were still taking some medication so you didn’t freak out about it too much. This avoiding thing was proving effective, so you’d keep doing it for as long as Max was around (which would be a while because construction hadn’t even started in his apartment because of all the lockdown restrictions). It was working.

“It’s fine.” You eventually answered.

“C’mon Y/N.” Daniel rolled his eyes on your screen, clearly unimpressed with your two-word answer and wanting more gossip.

“I don’t know what to tell you Dan.” You shrugged a shoulder. “He does his own thing and I do mine. We take turns on the sim from work and have different workout and meal schedules. We don’t see much of each other, and that’s totally fine.”

Daniel watched in slight disbelief. “How is that even possible in that flat? It’s not that big.”

You shrugged once again.

“Why not just… train together or something. Time would go by way faster if you didn’t spend every second of the day avoiding each other.”

“There’s no point.” You said definitively. “Eventually we’ll go back to racing… And what’s the point of building a bridge if I’m just going to burn it again the second we’re back on track. It’s never going to work Dan. I want to win, and I can’t be his friend and competitor at the same time. It doesn’t work.”

Daniel eyed you for a moment, processing your words before coming out with a response of his own. “You’re full of shit.”

“Oh, am I?” You bit out, scoffing at your best friend.

“How the hell are you my friend if you want to beat me on track.” He challenged.

“That’s different. You’re… You’re my best friend and were long before I got into racing.”

“Alright fine. But then how are you friends with Lando, or Charles, or Pierre.”

“It’s different.” You repeated yourself. “Yeah, we’re friends but… but it’s different. They don’t drive on my team. I’m not constantly measured up to them. They won’t get picked over me for no reason when it comes to strategies. They aren’t the ones I have to beat. The whole thing with him is a mess, and I can’t have that distraction if I’m going to try and win the championship.”

Again, it took a little bit of time for Daniel to say anything in response to that. You watched him take a sip of his coffee, considering that you’d just told him. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but there may not be a championship to win this year.” You frowned, not because you didn’t believe what Daniel was saying, but more so because you didn’t want it to be true. “The numbers around the world are still rising, and it’s impossible for us to race while these restrictions are in place and borders stay closed. We’re stuck until it levels out, and who knows how long that’s going to take.”

“Jeez Dan, way to ruin a buzz.” You mumbled, clutching tighter onto your empty wine glass as Daniel told you the very real things that you’d been avoiding thinking of for the last few weeks.

He didn’t stop there either.

“Also let’s be honest for a minute here.” He took a long breath, gaze piercing into yours through the screen. “Being his friend never got in the way of your racing. If anything, it made you better. The both of you were something else at the end of the last season, pushing each other in a way that I’d never seen before. You beat Mercedes together, after you’d gotten over yourselves. You can race hard and be his friend. I think that this is just something you’re convincing yourself of to avoid something else… and I can’t figure out what the fuck you’re running from.”

“Dan…” you warned, not liking where this was going at all. He was getting too close. “I can’t be his friend.”

Daniel let out a drawn-out sigh, disappointment seeping into his gaze for a split second. “Right.”

“You don’t get it Danny.”

“You’re right. I don’t.” He agreed. “So, tell me. Make me understand it.”

“It needs to be this way. I don’t have a choice…” You whispered, knowing that he’d still hear you through the phone. “I don’t know what to do without racing.” You added just as quietly.

“Why can’t you have both?”

“I just… can’t.”

Daniel could probably see that you were done talking about this, so he wisely waited for a few moments to pass before changing the subject to something else entirely. He knew you well enough to know that if he continued to push, you would completely shut down. He talked about the things he wanted to accomplish on the farm today, and one of the chickens that would attack him every single time he went near the coup. You laughed, tension easing from your shoulders all over again.

You stayed on the line late into the night, Daniel bringing you around the farm and showing you all your favourite animals. It wasn’t until you’d yawned 3 times within the space of a minute that he ordered you off to bed. It was nearing 2:00 am, and he was right. You hung up with the promise of calling him again in a few days.

You pocketed your phone and grabbed your wine glass from the side table, standing and stretching out your back for the first time in a few hours, before making your way back inside. Your eyes widened a fraction when you saw that the TV was still on in the living room, some silly comedy movie from Daniel’s collection playing on the screen. You caught sight of Max on the couch, fully passed out at an awkward angle with the two cats curled up next to him.

You quietly made your way into the kitchen, placing your glass in the sink and turning off the light above the stove. The only light that remained in the living space now came from the TV, casting a blueish glow throughout the room. You then carefully made your way into the living room, earlier conversation with Daniel playing on your mind.

Max looked so unguarded when he slept, the carefully neutral mask he’d learned to keep around you gone. You turned the volume down on the TV, so that it wouldn’t wake him up. You then grabbed one of the blankets that were tossed onto the corner of the couch, carefully draping it over his sleeping form, holding your breath until you were sure that you hadn’t disturbed him. You allowed yourself one last look, before turning on your heel and making your way back to your bedroom.

Sleep came surprisingly easy once you’d settled into bed, the late hour and glass of wine pulling you under. If you dreamed of an alternate reality where you could have both the things you wanted without consequence, then so be it.

It was just a dream.

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July 4th, 2020

“That’s P3, Viper. Couple thousands between you and pole position.” Your engineer said over the radio, enthusiasm clear in his voice.

“Second row, that’s a good start.” You said through gritted teeth hoping that your voice didn’t sound as frustrated as your felt. You were already going over your last run in your head, well aware that your exit from the last corner could’ve been cleaner. You’d been too close to the other Red Bull during the run, getting caught up in dirty air at the most critical time when you were pushing. A silly mistake, and wasted potential of what could be accomplished with this car. “Where’s Max?”

“P4.” Your engineer answered. “We think Hamilton may have some sort of penalty; he didn’t slow for yellow flags.”

Huh. At least that would make for an interesting race start tomorrow. Still, you’d rather start from pole.

You didn’t say anything, finishing your cool down lap around the track. You should have been enjoying just being back in the car in a competitive session after so long away from racing, but all you could think about is what could have been. God, the race hadn’t even started yet, and you already felt like you’d blown a perfect chance. Without knowing for certain how many races there would be this season, every single point and position mattered. You parked up behind the P3 sign on the grid, taking a moment to glare at the sign after killing the engine. You only starred for a moment, before unclipping your seatbelts and lifting yourself out of the car.

Lewis and Valtteri both nodded towards you when you spared a glance in their direction, and you forced a thumbs up in their direction. You technically weren’t allowed to go for a fist bump or anything, because of the social distancing rules, not that you minded much right now. You took off your helmet, dropping it onto the P3 podium and grabbed your Red Bull branded water bottle. You chugged a couple of long sips, before putting on your face masks and patiently waiting for your turn to be interviewed on the grid.

Once it was your turn, you took a few more calm and controlled breaths, slipping into your media duties mindset and getting back to work. You answered the questions, then were led right into the post-qualifying press conference (in a massive room where 3 sofas we’re strategically placed 6 feet apart). You answered another round of similar questions from a limited number of media outlets, before being released for the day.

You held your frustration together until you were back in the safety of your driver’s room. You walked into the darkened room, not bothering with the lights as you let the door shut softly behind you. You closed your eyes, leaning back against the door, willing your mind to stop going over all the ways you’d fucked up your qualifying. When it didn’t stop, you dug your nails into your palms, hoping that that would be enough to ground you. It wasn’t.

You made your way into the ensuite, shutting that door as well. You browsed through your cosmetics bag, pulling out a travel size bottle of acetaminophen (which was actually held your anxiety tablets), dropping two into your palm and turning on the tap. You popped them into your mouth, bending over to drink water directly from the tap to help swallow them down. You needed to remain focused, and not lose hours of sleep thinking over every possible scenario from today. You then splashed a bit of water over your face, forcing another few deep breaths as you locked everything back into its intended box. One last breath, and then you were making your way back into your drivers room like nothing had ever happened.

The thing is, you weren’t expecting to find someone sitting on your sofa in the dark, seemingly waiting for you.

“What the fuck!?” You startled, pulse racing suddenly. “You aren’t supposed to be in here.”

Max rolled his eyes, despite the glimmer of amusement from having caught you off guard. “We’re in the same bubble so it’s fine. Besides, no one saw me.”

Oh, because that made everything better. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you in my room.”

He ignored the statement, crossing his arms.

“I mean it Max; I don’t have time for this right now.” You sighed, not in the mood for whatever this was right now. “I need to go over the Mercedes laps, so I can figure out how to beat them tomorrow. Starting behind them is already bad enough.”

“You’re not going to beat them if you keep that stick up your ass.” He said bluntly.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “Why are you really here?”

He shrugged him shoulder once. “We both had shit qualifying sessions.”

This time last year, you’d have been thrilled with lining up third on the grid ahead of a race. Now, everything was different and the stakes were a million times higher. However, that still didn’t explain why your teammate was currently in your driver’s room. “And?”

“You had a pretty effective way of working out your frustration during lockdown.”

No amount of medication could’ve stopped your jaw dropping at that one. “This is about sex?!” You practically spluttered, starring at him indignantly. “No fucking way Verstappen. We had a deal, lockdown only.”

Max had the audacity to look disappointed with your response. “With all the restrictions and the stupid bubble rules, we’re basically still in a lockdown.”

“I fail to see how that’s my problem. We’re back to racing.” You deadpanned.

“Technically, the racing hasn’t started yet. The same rules could apply.” Max said, standing from the sofa and taking careful steps towards you, almost like he was trying not to spook one of the cats when they were freaked out by something. “Just sex, no one finds out. No feelings, winning comes first. Tomorrow, we beat the mercs and fight for the win.”

You were convinced that he had absolutely lost his mind.

But…

No, you couldn’t.

You scanned Max’s gaze, suddenly aware of how close he’d gotten to you. He watched you back, having laid his cards out on the metaphorical table. Just sex, to work out frustration after a less-than-ideal qualifying session. He was probably just as frustrated over the whole thing as you were, and maybe…

Your resolve was slipping, and he knew it.

He reached out, fingers grazing where your fireproof top was tucked in to your race suit at your hips. His fingers dipped under the top, thumb brushing against the skin of your hip. At least your medication had kicked in enough for you not to feel guilty about indulging, even when you knew it was a horrible idea.

“Max,” You hummed when he took your not pushing him away as a cue to dive even further into your personal space, stubble scratching at your neck when his lips started teasing that spot, “this is the last time.”

He didn’t verbally respond, too focused on pulling your fireproof top from your body.

“I mean it.” You insisted, hands not so gently grabbing onto the sides of his head and redirecting his gaze so that it would meet yours. “Once the lights go out tomorrow… this won’t an option anymore. I need… I need to win.”

A knowing, smug grin made its way onto his face. “If you say so.” He said cheekily, because it wasn’t the first time you’d insisted that it had been the last time.

This time, you meant it. It wouldn’t be like the times you’d said it during lockdown in Monaco.

You had to mean it, for both your sakes.

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May 1st, 2020

“Lockdown in the UK has been extended by another 4 weeks, which will bring us into the end of May” Christian stated somberly, scratching at his beard. “No news from the FIA, on their plans for the season but… it’s not looking great.” He sighed, clearly stressed about the situation. “Development remains halted, factory at a standstill as we continue to abide to the restrictions.”

You stomach sank, even though you’d been expecting it. You kept up with the news and saw that things weren’t getting any better throughout the world. Another guaranteed month without racing, and no tentative restart date in sight. Nothing positive ever came out of these video calls with the team.

“How are things for you, Y/N?”

You unmuted yourself. “Same as always. Keeping up with training and Jordan’s meal plan as best as I can, staying put and waiting for this thing to pass. Anxious to get back to work, whenever that’ll be.” You provided a similar update to the one you’d given in the last few weeks. Nothing had changed since the last call.

“And Max?” Christian turned his attention to his other driver as you put yourself back on mute. “Any luck with construction?”

You saw the little icon change under Max’s box on the screen change as he unmuted himself next to answer. “Yeah, not yet. They aren’t allowed to work on it because of the health guidelines and regulations. But otherwise, everything is the same as last week.”

Christian nodded, before moving on to the other people on the call. Everyone was the same as the week before. The media department did note that the fans were enjoying the streaming content from the online races that you joined in on with some of the other drivers from time to time, but they left it at that. The engineers gave a similar update to the week before as well, saying that they were doing everything they could with the limited data that you and Max managed to get back to them from the at home simulator set ups, not that it was going to help much in the end. It was more so to stay focused than actually doing anything that would give them a leg up whenever things started to return to normal. Christian gave some more generic information, before reminding everyone to stay safe and ending the meeting.

You turned off the laptop, folding it shut.

Fuck this fucking pandemic for ruining your plans for the year. What was the point in everything you were doing if you wouldn’t even get the chance to win? Christian didn’t sound like he thought you’d be back to racing anytime soon, given the state of the world. You knew how selfish it was to be upset, given the amount of people who were dying because of this thing but you couldn’t help it.

Daniel’s words from last night flashed through your mind once again, his point about the lockdown passing much quicker if you stopped avoiding your roommate. Maybe… until racing started again… But you’d have to be careful to make sure things didn’t get to the same point as last year, because you needed to be able to focus on the racing whenever it came back around. But… it wouldn’t hurt to be civil with Max and try to make the time go by faster by actually interacting with the person you lived with.

No feelings involved. You wouldn’t allow it.

Max was already in the kitchen by the time you’d wandered over, waiting by the coffee pot for it to finish brewing. You grabbed a mug from the cupboard, setting it down on the counter next to the one Max had pulled out for himself before pulling yourself up to sit on the kitchen island across from the coffee machine.

Max kept his steady gaze on you, silently observing.

“Another 4 weeks.” His gaze widened almost comically when you spoke up, this being the first time you’d initiated the conversation in well… a long time. Damn Daniel for putting stupid thoughts in your head about ways to pass the time if there was no racing.

“I think it will be longer than that.” He stated glumly after a moment, showing that he felt the same as you about this whole situation. You were both wired to race, and it had been over 5 months since the last race. You both wanted to get back in the cars but couldn’t.

“Do you think they’ll call off the season?”

He shrugged a shoulder, still eyeing you skeptically. “There needs to be a minimum of 8 races in a season for the championship to count, and the way things are right now, that would be impossible.”

“That’s what Dan was thinking too.” You mumbled, picking at the skin around your nails to avoid Max’s inquisitive gaze. “I understand why it’s necessary, to stop the spread and all that, but this whole lockdown thing really fucking sucks. I should’ve stayed in Australia when I had the chance; Dan seems to be having a grand time on the farm.”

Max’s scoff brought your attention back towards him, surprised to find the irritation on his face. “Of course, you’d rather be on the other side of the world.”

“What?” You asked quietly, wondering how you’d already fucked this interaction up.

Max huffed in clear frustration. “You really can’t stand to be around me that much that you would rather be in Australia than your own home?”

“That’s not what I meant.” You were quick to say, just now realizing how that had sounded. “I… Fuck.” You threw your gaze towards the ceiling, trying to figure out how to say what you’d meant more clearly. “I’m just saying lockdown in general would’ve been nicer, in Australia. Daniel’s farm is bigger than the entirety of Monaco, and we wouldn’t have been stuck in this tiny apartment complex. He has the bikes, so much outdoor space and activities, and work to keep you busy on the farm itself. It doesn’t have anything to do with you being here.” You took another breath. “I haven’t minded that part, if I’m being honest. I think I would’ve gone even crazier without another person here… even if I’ve kind of been avoiding you.”

Max eyed you for what felt like forever, clearly considering your explanation. After a while, his expression softened slightly. “You finally admit it.”

“Yes Max, I’ve been avoiding you.” You shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know how to be around you after… last year. Everything is weird right now because there’s no racing but,” you paused, meeting his gaze “I don’t want to hurt you again whenever we are allowed to race again because nothing’s changed… ra-”

“Racing will always come first.” Max finished for you; his face now difficult to read. “I got that in Paris.”

By some miracle, you managed not to react to his little dig at the conversation you’d had after the Prize Giving gala where you’d taken his heart and thrown it back in his face. His confession rang in your ears, the memory vivid in your mind. You took a breath, forcing it all to the back of your mind where it needed to remain.

“I could’ve dealt with that better…”

Max shrugged a shoulder. “No, probably what you did was better. I learned from my mistakes.”

This time, you couldn’t help the small flinch at the implication that his feelings had been a mistake. You had no right to be upset considering that you were the one who’d made him feel that way, but it still wasn’t nice to hear.

“That’s good, I guess.” You spoke without emotion.

You sat in silence for a little bit, eyeing the other person across from you. There was still so much that was being left unsaid, so much that you couldn’t tell him. This whole situation was a giant mess and there was nothing you could do about it until you won your championship. And right now, that was impossible, so you were stuck in this weird space where you didn’t have to avoid Max but you also couldn’t let him back in.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Max offered you a cup of coffee, holding the fresh cup in front of your face to recapture your attention. You took it from him and took a small sip, brow rising slightly when you tasted the splash of vanilla flavoured creamer you hid in the fridge for cheat days (and had been using rather frequently since lockdown started). You took a larger sip, feeling slightly better at the gesture and the way the sweetened coffee warmed your veins. “Thanks.”

You took a couple more sips, before Max spoke up once again, catching you completely off guard. “Would you do it again, if it was just sex for me now as well?”

“Pardon?” Your jaw dropped at the absurd question, and Max had the decency to look slightly embarrassed about his question, eyes trailing down to his nearly empty cup of black coffee. But then he refocused and his gaze changed right before your eyes to something you’d only had the privilege of seeing a handful of times.

“We’re in the middle of a pandemic, and we are going to be stuck here for even longer, according to Christian. We both have needs. I don’t know about you, but my hand is not nearly as satisfying as…” he trailed off with a nod of his head. “And it’s not like we can go out to find other people.”

“I-what?” Your brain still wasn’t processing.

“I’m asking if you want to have sex. No strings or feelings or whatever. Just sex.” It didn’t sound any less crazy the second time he said it.

“I thought you hated me.”

He shrugged his shoulder, the barest of smirks lining his face. “Part of me does, and I do not really trust you, but it does not matter. You’re here, and it would just be sex. Sex that I know from previous experience will be great.”

You did your best not to be affected by the way he was looking at you right now, even more convinced that this last month in lockdown had truly cause Max to lose his mind. Because there was no way that Max, Max who held a grudge unlike anyone you’d ever met before, wanted to do that again with you after you’d burned him. “You want to have sex with me again because it’s convenient?”

“When you say it like that it does not sound good.” He muttered, giving you an exasperated look.

“Surely you can see that it’s a horrible idea.” You mumbled in return, because how could it not be a disaster? “We are eventually going back to racing, and everything I said in Paris will still apply.”

“Seems simple to me.” He started, that little smirk still on his face. “We only do this during lockdown. The second we are back to racing; we go on like it never happened. Easy, because it is just sex.”

You downed the rest of your coffee, setting the empty mug on the counter beside you. There were so many reason at the top of your mind why you shouldn’t even be considering this. Hell, you’d told Daniel off not even 24 hours ago for suggesting you should try to befriend Max again. He’d probably have a stroke if he ever caught wind of what Max was proposing.

But, Max also made a fair point. It had been months… in fact Abu Dhabi had been the last time you’d been with anyone like that. On top of the medication you’d been taking since the gala, you’d put all of your focus afterwards towards winning the next WDC that it hadn’t even mattered. Sex had been the last thing on your mind the last few months, right up until the world had come to a standstill and everything in your life had been put on hold. Now, Max was dangling it like a carrot in front of your face and all your excuses were no longer relevant.

“Just sex?”

He nodded. “Just sex.”

“And no feelings?”

“None.” He confirmed.

You really shouldn’t be considering this.

However, it seemed that all rational thinking had left the chat the moment Max had turned those heated blue eyes your way. You’d never stopped wanting him, and it was clear to see that he was still attracted to you. It’s not like any of the issues had disappeared. If anything, this had the potential to make everything more messy than it already was. It was a horrible idea.

But apparently, that wasn’t going to stop you. “If we do this… no one can know.”

Max chuckled dryly. “Who am I going to tell? The cats?”

“I’m serious Max.” You said, meeting his gaze again and making sure to get your point across. “No one. Not even Daniel.”

Max made a face. “I am not going to talk to Daniel about the sex I am having with the person who is essentially his little sister.”

You rolled your eyes in response, but let out a long breath regardless. God, this was so incredibly stupid and could ruin everything, but that didn’t stop you from taking Max up on his offer. “Fine. We have a deal. Sex, no feelings, and when lockdown ends, this never happened and you go back to hating me on and off track.”

Max held his hand out, and you met his grasp with your own hand. You shook his hand twice, weirdly formalizing your agreement.

“So, when did you want t-” You started to ask, but Max stepped into the space between your thighs where you were still sat on the kitchen counter, hands grabbing at your hips. You barely had a second to catch your breath, before his lips were on yours. And just like that, you completely forgot how horrible of an idea it was and gave into it completely.

You’d inevitably get burned, but right now it was all worth it.

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July 5th, 2020

25 points.

1st in the WDC.

It was only the first race of the season and you knew better than to get ahead of yourself, but damn, did it ever feel good to stand on the top of the makeshift grid podium and hear your national anthem to kick of the race season.

You’d flown today; locked in for 71 laps of thrilling, flawless driving after taking the lead from Bottas in the first corner of the race. You weren’t even bothered by the mask on your face as you sprayed champagne with Lando and Charles from a safe distance, feeling on top of the world. You were allowed to enjoy this moment, after the last 7 months of hell you’d lived through to get here.

This proved that you could really do it. You had a real shot.

You caught a glimpse of Max as you walked through the pitlane after the celebrations, on his side of the garage talking with GP about whatever cause his car to breakdown 17 laps into the race. Your side of the garage had been thrilled, welcoming you back and sharing in your excitement for the massive accomplishment today.

His gaze locked with yours after you’d bumped your elbow against each of your mechanics and crew.

It stopped you in your tracks.

The look in his eye brought you right back to the back alley in Paris, to the hatred you’d created after throwing his heart back in his face. You had gone and done exactly what you said you would and won at all costs. He’d not even made it through the race, finishing his day with a massive 25 point deficit that could be massive considering no one knew how many races there would be this season and how many chances there would be to catch up.

He looked like he finally believed you, when you said that winning was the most important thing.

He looked like he really hated you.

Good.

This was the way it needed to be, so that you didn’t lose everything. You were going to keep making sure you hadn’t gone through everything for nothing.

You were going to keep winning.

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