hereâs a game to determine how much your parents caused you to feel horrible about yourself! (tw emotional, psychological, verbal, and sexual abuse)
add the points and see results below:
parent called me fat on multiple occasions  (15)
parent calls me fat on almost daily basis (40)
parent called me ugly on multiple occasions (15)
parent kept implying thereâs something wrong with my appearance on multiple occasions (15)
parent keeps insulting and/or controlling my outfits and clothes I wear (15)
parent keeps comparing me to most horrible things they can think of (demons, monsters, etc) (20)
parent compared me groups they hold strong prejudice for (homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes) (15)
parent keeps insisting my hygiene is bad and that I smell even when I shower regularly (20)
parent insults features of my appearance like hair, nails, skin, body hair, body fat (20)
parent shames me for how I eat, or how much I eat (30)
parent shames me for how I dress, and makes suggestions of other people will think of me (20)
parent keeps telling me I should be ashamed of myself, my appearance, my behaviour (20)
parent insists Iâm never good enough no matter how hard I try (20)
parent fails to notice everything I do and instead accuses and shames me for things I didnât do (20)
parent uses lines like this: âNobody will want you like this, nobody will like you the way you areâ (30)
parent compares me to people who are âbetterâ than me to prove that I am the worst (20)
parent kept asking me things like âwhy arenât you more like x? why canât you behave like x?â (15)
parent keeps me self-conscious about any mistake I made (20)
parent keeps humiliating me in front of others and uses my pain as entertainment (20)
parent keeps insulting me and insisting itâs a joke (20)
parent makes sure to point out every single reason why Iâm wrong and/or dumb (20)
parent calls me animal names when theyâre unsatisfied with me, or even just for fun (20)
parent has told me directly they hate me (20)
parent has told me directly they regret having me (30)
parent has uttered these phrases at me âworthless, waste of space/money, impossible to loveâ (40)
parent made comments about my sexual features that made me feel uncomfortable (20)
parent make sexual comments about my apperance (20)
parent make sexual implications of what I would be useful for (30)
parent stares at me sometimes in a weird sexual way that makes me feel unsafe (30)
If youâre struggling with low self esteem, self image, confidence, and feel generally lousy around your parents and like theyâre about to accuse you of something, this is why. Parents should never allow themselves to talk this way to their children, not even when theyâre angry, not even when they feel they have an excuse. Thereâs no excuses for this. They had no right to tell you any of this, and none of it is true. If youâre struggling keeping positive connection with your family, itâs their fault, and not yours.
Score this high implies serious emotional and psychological abuse (possibly sexual if some of the things you marked were one of the last 4). There is no way for anyone to be raised with this to not end up severely wounded and struggling, none of these things are true, but being told that from your own family will have a deep negative impact on your mental health, your ability to take care of yourself, to feel good about yourself, and to be emotionally healthy. Your parents shouldnât have done this to you, it was their duty to keep you whole and safe and protected from abuse, not exploit the fact of you being depndent on them to inflict damage on you. You deserved better.
Fuck those guys! Theyâve lost the right to call themselves your parents long time ago! Everything youâre struggling with is their fault, they had no right to say or do any of those things to you. Life isnât supposed to be this hard, you are not supposed to endure this amount of hatred and abuse from your own parents. They failed you. They should be deeply ashamed of what theyâve been doing to you, and theyâre not good people if they can do this to a child. These things could have caused you to develop anxiety disorder, social anxiety, eating disoder, depression, self hatred and trauma. If youâre struggling with those issues your parents are to blame (and/or other factors that helped but weâre focusing on how much parents contributed and based on this a LOT). If youâve managed to get away from those people, you were right to do so. If youâre still with them, I hope you gain freedom, and you have absolute right to cut them out of your life with first chance you get. You donât owe them a thing.
(if youâve experienced a lot of different kind of abuse that isnât on this list and it caused you to feel horrible about yourself, feel free to add on! this is just a short list and thereâs many more awful things parents do to children, click here to check more detailed abuse list!)
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