I don't know where to start this post, other than with saying that I am the happiest I've been in a very long time. With that being said, my fitness journey took a big detour and I'm pretty much back at square one. I'm not really sad about it, I let myself go and here I am, but the good thing is that I've worked hard to be healthy before and I will do it again.
Since I last stopped posting regularly my life has pretty much been a roller coaster of emotions. There were some really bad days and some pretty good days. I found myself back in my battle with depression and once again I looked to food for comfort. Exercise fell by the wayside and all I wanted to do was eat, sleep, cry, drink etc. It was really quite pathetic. My friends didn't really know, no one really knew. I got to the point where I couldn't be by myself and constantly needed to be around people. At one point my mother really wanted to get me professional help. Why am I sharing this? I don't know, I feel like I can just be a lot more honest and open here than I can with my rl friends. Anyways, at this point last month I had gained a bunch of weight back, I was depressed(not because of the weight, although I guess that contributed to it), broke, jobless, and kinda just a mess.
Everything started to turn around when I decided to start looking for a job finally, a "grown up" job. I submitted my resume everywhere and anywhere, with the thought in mind that even though I have no relevant experience all I had to do was get an interview and then I could charm my way into a job. Sure enough after two weeks of applying I got an interview, then a second interview two days after that one, and then I was hired an hour after that one. Finally things were looking up, I was graduating on the 16th of June and then starting work on the 18th of June.
Graduation was pretty amazing, and right after that I did a lot of reflecting. I finally feel like I accomplished something in my life, I mean I've done some things but I finally just feel relieved. I was always the guy that couldn't live up to his potential and now I feel like I've done something and I'm not a disappointment. I still have law school or grad school to look forward to but for now I just feel happy. Then I realized that I should just be happy. I decided then that it was time to end toxic relationships that I had in my life. I stopped worrying and caring and just started living. My graduation party was pretty amazing and I started work last Monday I haven't stopped smiling since.
I'm now working 8 to 4, I'm studying for the lsat in my free time and I hang out with my friends when we can coordinate schedules. I love my bosses, my coworkers, and my job isn't the best but they're going to be moving me to a position where I will be happy. My boss's words were, "don't worry, we were really impressed by you and we hired you because we want you to be a part of our company." I'm getting paid pretty well, will finally have benefits after 90 days, and I'm just excited to be working. It feels good to be able to say that I entered the work force two days after graduating.
This morning I started C25K and it was an eye opener as to how much I've regressed but that's ok because I have the tools, knowledge, and relationships that will help me get to where I was before. This time, I will go above and beyond that point. I'm not even really tripping about my weight gain, I'm not happy about it but I can say that I'm just a very happy person right now. I smile all the time, I sing along to my favorite tunes on the way home, and there's an extra kick in my step.
Today I continue on my journey to a healthier me. C25K was done in the morning, I took a nice walk during lunch at work, and I've counted all my calories for the day. Last time I didn't really change my relationship with food and that's what came back and bit me in the ass, now I realize that I have to change that relationship. I'm excited to get back on this journey because I'm happy, really freaking happy, I'm excited about life, excited about where I'm going, and excited to see what I can do. Thank you to everyone that has stuck around, I'm back in action.
