Strawberries With Low Battery

[jupiterjames]

Y'all. I've worked so hard. Since I was 15. I have always done my best in the workplace to be the melodramatic crazy person. But that crown has been ripped away in my current job. Torn from me.

The setting is thus. Coworker A's office is by the outside door we all enter from. The door is very heavy and has a lip that I have to do a wheelie in my wheelchair to get over. My current chair is new enough I haven't gotten completely used to its center of gravity yet.

Thus, I pry open the door to enter, pop a wheelie too far, and crash down backwards. Coworker A launches herself out of her office, literally yelling, "ARE YOU OKAY?! OH MY GOD DID YOU HIT YOUR HEAD?! WHAT DO I DO?! YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOOD IN EMERGENCIES!"

Me (laying on the ground halfway in and out of the office) : "This is not an emergency."

A : "IT LOOKS LIKE AN EMERGENCY!"

Me: "Could you please just hold the door, and........... are you filMING ME ON YOUR COMPANY PHONE?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

A : "I DON'T KNOW IT'S INSTINCT FROM WHEN I DO FIELD WORK!"

Me : "Oh my GOD, stop filming and just hold the door so I can get up!"

A : *keeps filming while holding the door*

Me : *gets up and situated* "Why are you still filming?"

A : "Well, NOW it's in case you need to file a worker's comp claim."

Me : "It's way too Monday for this." *rolls away down the hall to my office."

A *yelling after me* "IF YOU NEED THE EVIDENCE LATER I GOTCHU!"

[jupiterjames]

I wish I could tell people who call me at work, "please stop using $10 words you don't know the meaning of to sound smarter to me. You shouldn't be wasting money in this economy."

[beardedmrbean]

One more in the W column for Japan.

[supersoftly]

Link for extension :3c

[bendingsignpost]

As a male author do you have thoughts on cis women writing Mlm?

Many!

Yay, more books!

Are you having fun? I hope you're having fun.

This is how we get more trans men.

[jupiterjames]

ADHD thought of the day.

"I should paint my Fiat's antenna green so it looks more like a strawberry!"

Important notes: It is raining like a motherfucker right now and I don't have paint.

[jupiterjames]

[jupiterjames]

[jupiterjames]

My weather app is full of psychological warfare. You see, I have enough chronic illnesses that I can almost completely ignore a huge majority of the daily "normal" symptoms unless something or someone draws my focus to them.

My weather app is doing this a thousand times a day. It keeps telling me how high the pollen levels are, and I swear to y'all it makes my allergies 10x worse. I see that message and my nose immediately starts acting a fool. 🤧 WE WERE DOING FINE NOT NOTICING THE SNIFFLING AND COUGHING AND PRETENDING THE OTC MEDS WORKED!

Just tell me when there's a fire, tornado, hurricane, meteor about to hit us, and LEAVE THE POLLEN OUT OF IT.

And no, the app doesn't have an option to turn off that setting, and no I'm not using another app. This is the only one that doesn't eat my phone's battery like a 7 course meal.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you have the life you've always wished for, BUT

https://wheelofnames.com/bff-wrs

Is it still the life you wished for?

yup! I can live with this

I'll learn how to deal with it eventually

this sucks, now I can't [do a certain thing]

NOPE. NOT AT ALL

Voting ended onApr 17

(the side-effect only applies to you)

[screenshotsofdespair]

[jupiterjames]

At my job there are very limited circumstances where you can telework, and it can only be for up to 30 days at a time. So we have to give a reason and have it approved.

I texted my boss "I need to submit a temporary telework request."

Response "what's the reason?"

Me "my new wheelchair is more disabled than I am."

(The DME company sent me a defective back wheel and are making the process of getting a replacement as obnoxious and long as possible)

Response "good enough. I'll submit the request."

[jupiterjames]

The thing about living in a small town is that everyone is going to treat you like they know you (at the least), and like you're family (at the most). Observe:

Went for a gyn followup since I'm comfortably past the healing period for my surgery.

Doctor casually asks, "have you scheduled your mammogram yet, like I asked you to in December? And before that in October? And before that over a year ago at your annual?"

My response was, "😀😀😀😀 nope."

And so the doctor very calmly picked up the plastic model of the female reproductive system off the counter, removed the ovaries from it, and pelted me with them while yelling, "GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

*EDIT* It has just occurred to me that everyone already knew I didn't get it because it wasn't in my records or chart. ASSHOLE ASKED ME KNOWING THE ANSWER JUST TO THROW PLASTIC OVARIES AT ME!

[jupiterjames]

Does anyone wanna trade their neurodivergence with me? Just for a day is probably fine. I can't handle this.

BRAIN: "You've earned the right to rot for day. You been doing so much. So here's the deal. Get one thing done. Choices. 1) go to the store 2 minutes away and buy the 5 things you need that are all in the same area. 2) Hear me out. Shhhhhhh. Just listen. This is the good one. Throw everything in your home away. Just bag up literally everything and toss it."

[jupiterjames]

I have to take a lot of calls at my job from a lot of angry people. It's not directed at me, so I'm not bothered or anything. In fact, I love it here in the South U.S.

Most people (especially men) will always apologize for using foul language. "Pardon me, ma'am," or "excuse my French," or "I apologize for that ma'am."

It's delightful since in real life, I swear like a sailor.

Anyway, yesterday I had this guy swearing up, down, and sideways. And he said, "I'm so sorry ma'am. I don't wanna get it trouble or anything, I'm just pissed off."

And I forgot every word we have for swear/cuss/curse whatever, and said, "it's fine. You can use as many flavors as you want."

My weak excuse is that is was so early in the morning and my ADHD meds hadn't kicked in yet lol.

[jupiterjames]

Fish Doorbell – It's almost here! — The Fish Doorbell

Zie je een vis? Druk op de Visdeurbel dan opent onze sluiswachter de sluis en kunnen de vissen doorzwemmen.

Y'all, this is like one of three things I live for. I've already asked my boss if I can use company resources to keep this on while I'm working and he said, "it would be irresponsible not to."

[jupiterjames]

I got to work this morning and there was a lil garden lizard in my office, sitting on my side table. I introduced myself and offered it part of my bagel, but it scoffed at me and didn't introduce itself back, and I feel like it's being super judgy.

Like damn, maybe I should go home. I don't wanna be where I'm not wanted. 🥲

[jupiterjames]

My Korean (that is a relevant identifier) doctor told me to stop eating white rice (among other things) because my glucose levels are still climbing.

Doc, not to get in the way of you medical degree here, but telling someone to stop eating normal white rice feels like it would be malpractice in your home country.

P.S. I'm not gonna do it. I'll switch to whole l grain bread and pasta if I have to, but I'm not going to avoid everyday white rice. I'll exercise more rather than do that.