going the long way around

Ben is a writer engaged in fandom life when mental health allows. His works are specifically aimed at a queer audience but hopefully enjoyable for most anyone. If you would like to support Ben and his writing habit, click the Patreon link below!

[kryomax]

Hikaru and Yoshiki | The summer Hikaru died.

Commissions are currently: OPEN! (Just msg me: DM/Website)

You may now get a print of this on my INPRNT shop! :)

[bendingsignpost]

my brother-in-law, immediately before leaving me alone in his kitchen with his fridge, and therefore with his eggs: Did you know there are people who take eggs out of the egg carton completely randomly??? No pattern! What freaks!!!

me, with fast hands and shifty eyes: oh??

[sunderwight]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

[flowersdiceandlove]

Tags: @sunsulin

Omg, WHAT IF:

SQH is talking to SQQ about how some people were talking about like a live action of PIDW or smth and people were doing fan-casting and they put Shen Yuan down as LBH. Airplane said that LBH is supposed to be a pretty boi bc that's what women like, right? (When he was talking about MBJ being more traditionally handsome.) And SQQ describes himself as a pretty boy waiting to die (or something like that. though he can hardly be trusted at this point.). So, it's not a leap to conclude that they have the same brand of good looks.

SQQ: wait… did you just say Shen Yuan, as in the third son of the owners of Shen Conglomerate, to play Binghe?

SQH: yeah. I mean, I know he’s not an actor, but this was just for looks.

SQQ, incredulous: Shen Yuan???

SQH, not understanding why it’s a big deal: …yeah?

SQQ: to play Luo Binghe the protagonist and best looking person in this whole thing???? The one who seduces literally everyone with his good looks? That Binghe who is glowing gold right now? *points to LBH out the window, standing in a sunbeam but also glowing himself with a dazzling halo*

SQH: *nods* Have you seen Shen Yuan?

SQQ: Every time I looked in a mirror. Why would people want me to play Binghe? There are far better looking men for the job.

SHQ, choking and spitting his tea: WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!

SQQ, ignoring SQH: Then again...I can't expect any real taste from an audience that actually likes your work.

SQH, jaw on the floor, eyes boggling: ...You're Shen Yuan...?

SQQ, sipping his tea: Truly terrible casting choice.

[browniefox]

The real answer to why Donald Duck is shit at healing Sora is because HES NOT THAT KIND OF WIZARD! Dude is the Royal wizard and is capable of casting zetta flare, probably a believer in the only stat that matters is the enemies hp going down. He breaks out a heal and cure on occasion but it’s not what he trained in. He keeps trying to tell that to Goofy and Sora but they never listen.

[pumpkinpatchdarling]

"That fictional character you're obsessed with would be just as obsessed with you" could be either an affirmation or a one sentence horror story

[mysteryteacup]

Here's a fun thought *quietly tips new extras into the rubbish bin* : When Airplane gets into An Ding Peak, various members of the heavenly beaurocracy slowly start to take notice

because the creator of the world is ...pretending to be human? for a very long time? he seems to intend to keep it up?

And since no one is noticing. Well.

It starts with the more mischevious amongst them. New disciples a bit younger than him - too young to challenge for the title of head disciple, just the right age to end up hallmasters, etc.

Then more come, once he's Peak Lord, in guise of new students.

There are, of course, real students as well. But.

An Ding Holiday Home for Heavenly Beaurocrats.

[sandmandaddy69]

[confuzing]

Shen Yuan transmigrates into one of Bingge's wives and after an adjustment period it like, ok this isn't too bad actually.

He's not super thrilled with the new body but it's not that bad really. And as long as he plays it cool and lets Binghe occasionally have his way with him he's 100% safe from all the bad things in PIDW by virtue of being the protagonist's woman! And when Bingge isn't around he can cultivate (cool!) and read his way through the extensive library (so cool!) and anything else his little shut in heart desires!

And ok yeah there's the, sigh, doing the wifely duties bit but he's wife like, 63 so it isn't happening often and besides, his lady body is clearly into Binghe, and he's a straight guy yeah but Binghe is Binghe everyone wants him! So he's willing enough.

So the Event finally happens and SY gets his world absolutely rocked by Bingge... And then when Bingge's about to get up and leave (he Does Not spend the night ever) his wife pulls him close. He thinks that she just wants to go again- which is weird enough, he always completely satisfies his wives- but she just cuddles up to him and plays with his hair and tells him what a good husband and man he is and then starts humming. And Bingge stays, it's...nice and he is tired, his wife is right he works so hard he does deserve to relax...

He wakes up in his wife's arms the next morning utterly bewildered. And then SY helps him bath and does his hair and tries to get him breakfast but he insists he's busy just to get away from her to get his head straight. SY doesn't press of course he just tells Bingge to eat something before he gets into any fights.

Bingge is sure this wife must want something... But a quick background check reminds him this wife is one of the ones he saved from a magic crystal, she has no family, they all died centuries ago... So his wife is not seeking any political gain...

He eventually just goes and asks her, and SY is like oh no I'm peachy! Husband could come with me to the library though if he's not busy? SY is looking for books on monsters!

Bingge is very quickly wife-beamed, which is convenient for him because he's already married to this wife. And SY has no idea it's happened. Well, the other wives are getting cattier the more often Bingge spends the night, but why would he want to be around them when their attitudes are so bad?? (There's been more than one assassination attempt that SY missed completely. Didn't even notice he was in danger.)

But there's a problem. This is not a clean transmigration. The longer SY is in Wife 63's body the more he realizes she's still here too, suppressed by him in her own mind! He isn't sure what to do about it, he can't talk to her directly and what he does get from her as she slowly wakes up and gets stronger is... Hostile to say the least.

SY tries to play it cool, he's fine everything is fine. But Bingge notices the changes, especially as the original wife gets strong enough to start taking partial control of the body back.

Eventually he does a medical check and Oh no! His favorite wife he was considering making his empress is possessed! She's being so so brave and trying to downplay her symptoms but he knows she's suffering.

Bingge arranges for an exorcism and SY goes along willingly. After all he is the bad guy here technically, and the invading spirit. Surely Binghe will be happier with his wife not controlled by a straight man! (I mean yeah the sex is fantastic but he can probably tell it's a little gay somehow!)

Still he's going to miss Binghe- assuming this exorcism doesn't just kill him- so before the ritual starts he makes sure to tell Binghe he loves him (totally platonically) and only wants him to be happy.

It takes Binghe five minutes post exorcism to figure out that he got it backwards. He wasn't saving his beloved wife from a ghost! He's cast out his beloved ghost in favor of some lady who's pissed he didn't realize she was possessed immediately!

He needs to get his perfect ghost wife husband ("the spirit I expelled was actually male " the exorcist says.) back! And find a body to put him in since Wife 63 is refusing to surrender her body again for some reason!

[segmentedleg]

Awakening SproutingSeed. Jen Violette. Glass.

[digitalsnail]

hope i'll do you proud

[sol-illo]

Book 57 of PIDW about to go crazy

[stealingpotatoes]

besides a dog or cat what animal would you like as a pet? I ask because I have a chameleon, and she’s so cute :>, and I don’t think people appreciate non cat/dog pets enough

oo a chameleon is cool! i love guinea pigs, especially my friend's one who i sometimes look after <3

[confuzing]

Shen Tang POV on her San-ge acting weird in the family group chat so she goes to see him and he's fine but acting really odd and depressed and twitchy and we the readers gradually realize that this isn't Shen Yuan returned from his time in SVSSS, this is Shen Jiu, suddenly in a world he does not understand, trying to deal with the changes and also not out himself all while dealing with a bossy teenaged girl fussing over him and acting like she knows him.

[nosimpincurly]

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

[catherinebunnington]

Reblog to materialize $250,000 in prev's bank account

[cuppydogshane]

that is actually my main principle of explicit fic is that the personalities stay On during sex.

[mortallycrispygardener]

[shiftingbonesofapoltergeist-dea]

I'm sorry WHAT

[smallerontheoutside]

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

[astropithecus]

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

[adamtotscomix]