Cubicle 27 (mistaken identity Genogrow employee)
Episode: 3x03 The Inside Job
Character: Parker
Hey. It's you. Hey, we should probably exchange all our numbers, right?
<Eliot slams sexting man into wall>
He's okay. He's okay.
Who's that guy?
Boyfriend.
Alice White
Episode: 1x10 The Juror #6 Job (also used as a throwaway name in the Morning After Job, and in a sense in the Girls' Night Out Job)
Character: Parker
This isn't for me. It's addressed to somebody named Alice White.
You are Alice White. It's one of the aliases I made for you, vegetarian, bookkeeper. She had a pretty wild time at her sister's wedding in Phoenix. You should check out her Facebook page.
Alice White has jury duty.
Damn, I am good.
Yeah, congratulations. Alice thanks you for getting her out of it.
art theft isnt what it used to be. now you can just right click save. you used to have to break into a museum. there were lasers and stuff. you don't even have to have a grappling hook anymore.
I can’t stop thinking about Harry Wilson’s loser ex-wife. I can’t imagine being like “So what my husband is allowing a benzene oil spill to wreak havoc on the environment? So what if the benzene is killing children??? He’s a good husband and he pays attention to me. He’s just trying to be a good provider for our family!” Like, bitch, millions of people find a way to make a living without actively destroying the environment and murdering children.
THEN her dumb ass stays with him because he listens to her and cuddles her at night or whatever the fuck he does with his nasty stringy hair. ONLY to find out that not only is he actively allowing his oil rig to leak oil, he also blew up the oil rig, killing 5 people and causing what I can only imagine to be a MASSIVE ecological disaster. AND NOT ONLY THAT but he’s also a TERRORIST who shut down the power grid in order to be able to sell the ability to cripple US infrastructure to other terrorists!
Now her dumb ass is probably on the news and people are talking shit about how she stayed with him after the oil leak whistleblower incident. Now she got, no money (probably), her daughter doesn’t respect her and wants to live with Harry, and she gotta go to the grocery store while people point at her and go “that’s a terrorist’s wife!” I hope those extra cuddles and attentive listening were worth it, you pathetic loser!
Nate’s ex-wife Maggie would never! She’s certified cool! Grace wishes she was Maggie!
leverage redemption is the classic story of someone adopting a shelter pet to help them deal with grief but the pet is a 50 year old lawyer and the shelter is the boston museum of art
(Set during The Experimental Job, just a little moment between the ot3 when Parker brings the jackets)
Around 700 words under the cut:
“It's cold.” Parker hisses under her breath, fogging up in a cloud.
“Of course it's cold,” Eliot grumbles through chattering teeth into his earpiece, “I told you it's like 20 degrees down here.”
“Yeah, I know I just wasn't expecting it.”
“Parker.” He growls in a warning.
“Hurrying.” The eye roll he just knows she's giving him transcends the earpieces.
At least Hardison's stopped complaining about his half of hell week long enough to rig up a handful of button cams to old jackets.
[read it here on ao3]
“Hey, Eliot you good man?” And here comes the geek. Great. At least Sophie and Nate had the decency to go to sleep if they weren't going to help.
“Peachy.” Talking was starting to hurt his very clenched cold jaw.
Then Hardison starts rambling.
“You know I don't mean anything by the whole, uh hell week torture thing right? I just, I know they're around you too, and it's definitely worse what with the actual torturing of people with PTSD, and it's so creepy being around these dudes who are exploiting it for the CIA or something-”
“Hardison. Shut it.” He wasn't mad, not really, just a little peeved he hadn't slept in half a week.
But it's not even close to breaking his record for days without sleep.
Doesn't mean he has to enjoy the torture. Well, some of it he kind of does. Psyching out the guy who's supposed to be torturing him, that was kind of fun.
But the rest of it, hearing the guys around him screaming and howling and breaking. That wasn't so fun.
“Parker, you almost done the delivery yet?” He doesn't want her to stay here any longer than she has to. She doesn't have to.
“Almost. Got one left.” Her voice echoes in his ear and just outside his cell.
“Ok, just be quick.” The door opens silent as Parker always does.
“Dammit, Parker, not me the other guys. I don't need no button cam.”
Eliot is wrapped up right in the thin burlap sheet he has.
Parker gives him an incredulous look at that.
“Uh, yeah Eliot that ain't gonna do here. If you freeze to death, that's on all our asses, babe.” Hardison says in his ear.
“I ain't gonna freeze to death. It's cold, not that cold.” He's still shivering as Parker swiftly crosses the tiny room and wraps the last jacket around him.
“The human body can survive up to 6 hours of -20 degrees fahrenheit.” Parker jumps in not very helpfully.
“Thanks Parker.” Eliot and Hardison say in sync.
“Look-” Eliot attempts to say.
“Hypothermia has been known to happen even in the high 40s,” Parker delightedly says, “it can cause extensive nerve damage and brain damage.”
“Don't sound so excited about that. It's weird.” He shrugs her arm off of him.
“Symptoms include uncontrollable shivering.” She lists off.
“Pale cold skin.” Hardison chimes in.
“Check.” Parker pokes at his nose. Cold.
“Drowsiness and confusion.” Poking at his forehead.
“Parker.” He slurs through his teeth.
“Weakness and loss of coordination.” Parker jabs at his chest, and he can hardly even bat her hand away like a kitten.
“Quit it.”
“Shallow breathing and heart rate.” Hardison says.
“Yep. Check and check.”
“Will you two quit it.” Eliot growls, and even that burst of energy wipes him out.
“Now, I don't normally do this but. It should help.” And Parker gives him the stiffest, most awkward robotic hug he's ever had.
Thing is, it actually does help.
“You really ok with this Hardison.” He brings himself to mumble. He keeps his arms tight at his sides.
“If I weren't here, I'd be doing the exact same thing dude. You know we don't like to see you hurt.” Hardison says like it's easy.
“I can take it.” His jaw clenches again. He can take it, it's literally his entire job.
“We know you can, we still don't have to like it.” Hardison acts like that's going to end this argument.
“Tough. Because that ain't stopping anytime soon.”
“At 32 degrees most people with hypothermia will go unconscious in 15 minutes.” Parker tightens her hold on him and he finally gives in and gently squeezes her back.
“Well, I ain't most people, sweetheart.” Eliot says with the first smile in half a week.
“No you most certainly are not.”
(Just a little thing I always felt was missing from The Experimental Job!)
#leverage#eliot spencer#jim sterling#it’s the scene! the scene!!!!!#this is the scene that made eliot not only my favourite leverage character but my favourite character in anything ever.#because this IS eliot’s job. he barely ever calls the shots and him having to do so is emblematic of the shit having firmly hit the fan#because - as john rogers said about this episode - “eliot’s job is to be the failsafe that never fails”.#and just#argh#i have so many thoughts on this via laser-tripwires
#okay but they have a reason to trust eliot#eliots job is to get them home safely#this is season 2 btw#in most shows it takes characters ro trust each other at least three to four seasons to trust each other#but parker hardison and- yes even tara- have seen what eli can do#they also are well aware of sterling#they know what sterling is can do#and they view him as the bad guy#worse then themselves#and they are the good guys#of course they are gonna choose a retrieval specialist#it’s his job#so shut up sterling via geekynightowl1997
#eliot’s job is to be the failsafe that never fails#no matter the cost.#and in this case the cost was potentially 30 million bucks#but you see it in his face that that cost could have been anything and he’d have paid it#then you get to season three and…#he pays it. via the-tomorrow-road
#hardison and sophie’s jobs are Get Us In#parker’s job is Get It#eliot’s job is Get Us/It Out via windcalling
#not to be a film major on main but…#I will never not go feral over the blocking of this scene#Eliot and sterling on the one side of the table#Eliot only looking across at the team as he breaks it down#answering their questions and not looking at sterling at all#moving around the table the second he starts talking#standing behind them but as a united front#sterling trying to sway them and instill doubt but it’s useless#they’re not on the same level#Eliot gets to move around the table and sterling doesn’t#hell sterling wouldn’t move around the table#but Eliot does#because they’re a team and sterling is not one of them#anyway im chewing glass etc via applejuiz
#Sterling’s not as smart as he thinks he is if he has studied Nate’s team (which I’m sure he has) and still thinks Eliot just punches stuff#he’s just another one of those morons who fell for the grift via soundsfaebutokay
#GOD i love this scene so fucking much#he’s the retrieval specialist!!! that is not just the hitter it’s the planner!#they are all in their own ways completely capable of masterminding. hardison probably least so and parker most so#but the fact is that ‘retrieval specialist’ is eliot’s ACTUAL title and it’s one that encompasses the whole goddamn shebang#even if it’s NEVER talked about via redgoldblue
#love the progression from this episode to queen’s gambit….#sterling underestimates eliot so badly! even when eliot steps up and asks the team to follow his lead. he’s not playing some musclehead#he is being the expert in his field. and sterling doesn’t trust him.#it’s like in the beginning quinn failed to beat eliot and sterling just took it as eliot being the better hitter#but on a meta level it could also be said that it’s because eliot is more than sterling expected and he didn’t account for his smarts#just like here. but after this….#the next time they meet eliot very deliberately plays into the attack dog role! he throws him on a table and punches him!#not only fun revenge but also living down to sterling’s expectations of him as muscle held back/directed by nate#except sterling knows better by then. after this episode… he knows better but he acts like he doesn’t.#he is able to trick eliot bc the dynamic has shifted to eliot underestimating sterling (at least in that particular situation)#and funnily enough before sterling drugged eliot we had a similar scene where he tried to give his input on the plan#but eliot didn’t wanna hear it. so the roles flipped and sterling went behind eliot’s back with his plan#(which wasn’t just eliot being dumb. it was a really good manipulation i’ve metaed on before)#and it’s just reallt interesting to see this relationship change over time via these really small moments!#by the end of the show sterling knows better than to underestimate eliot. he knows he (along with the rest of the team) wouldn’t get caught#or killed so easily. the only way he’ll believe it is if eliot is protecting the others and he was still suspicious at first via vickyvicarious
a lot of content from the new episode that I will be adding to my eliot thesis but what it really boils down to is nobody is doing fealty in the modern day quite like that man
