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Post #21

Let's talk about Sabah Malaysia. I have no idea what's going on at home right now. I have no interest in the development of its politics since the folks are hopelessly fiscally ill equipped to assist impoverished Sabahans. Being subservient to West Malaysians and unable to control its own budget is a sad state of affairs. And the long list of 'local' politicians that only line their pockets with businesses are many. The only control we have is to create businesses. Capitalism allows for folks to climb the social ladder. Communism allows opportunists to thrive. Even with capitalism communism can shut down capitalist endeavours at a whim, ergo no socialism can be better than capitalism. The only downside to capitalism is the seven deadly sins.

Post #20

Russia has begun attacking Ukraine. Biden is a joke to Putin. Malaysia is still shocked by the revelations on 1MDB corruption. I am still unemployed. And I have finished reading No Exit. It's well written. The author is excellent at writing action scenes. When I rewatched the trailer of the film adaptation I found it lacking. The lead and main villain are not charismatic or have the expression worth a damn. They're like B rated actors hired solely for their 'diversity'. The books described their characters clearly. All I see is a Hispanic man who is not annoying nor does he knows how to crack a joke. And the Chinese actress has the expressions and voice range of a wood. A mime expresses more than her. The novel is still fresh in my mind it's why I'm complaining. I also have a film degree but nothing captures my attention more than a distracting non-acting by actors. Stupid stupid woke Hollywood. Anyway, I need to explore more books in order to appreciate writing more. There are things to explore and take away from. I have tons of tomes to force myself to capture. This is unhealthy. I gotta to be writing more. - Result is out. The movie retells some of the plots, but captures little of the nuance of characters nor characteristics found in the book. All in all it is suspenseful to watch. The intrigue development is compromised for the sake of brevity for film. More budget would have helped.

Post #19 Word salad bomb

This is a reminder that I am posting without care in order to churn out English words and sentences. I have ADHD and proofreading everything discourages my attempt at daily writing even though I need to do it to improve writing readability and coherence. Too many things are left swirling in my mind without an outlet and writing is a healthy process to getting them out there. I fear without effort they may not have any semblance of coherence. I am panicking because I need to earn. I tried holding one job but I hate social media and writing social media marketing so much that my 'temporary' job was giving me sleepless nights. I get palpitations. Anxiety, I don't know all I know I hate the stress of writing for another stupid Datuk or Datin. I mean if I am forced to write like this, like I write right now, because I must assume consumers are stupid then I'm dying. I'm dying. That's what it feels like. Anyway, this is a blog post that nobody reads, and if there's some chance a reader drops by I suggest you get off internet, social media for today and read a physical book instead. Or paper Kindle. Anything that can get you connected to the internet is distractive and unproductive. As expected as I write this my mind begins to turn mushy and I can feel languor washing over me. This is the curse of aversion to anything that requires long hour of focus. I am not going to let this stop me from posting a latest post that's never going to be read by anyone but myself because what matters right now is that I write. I write. I write.

Post #18

Let me just write away. Life is meaningless without the embrace of light pouring from Heaven, and rejoicing for this light who is God and His abundant of love and grace. Without the constant reminder that He is always with us, and that we are His and we must, by our own will, worship Him, so that His graces may flow into and through us, we live in darkness, in the anxieties caused by the separation of soul and Truth, and by demons, fallen angels who willingly chose to disobey God and rebel against Him, despite the preternatural gifts and vision of future given to them. Like humans they could choose, but they chose against God despite knowing what would happen if they did so. Many humans are clueless of the consequences of their choices to live further from Jesus Christ's love. So many are just one step closer to Him, if only they would open their hearts, and if only His followers live by His commandments, so that that His light may shine through us.

Post #17

I had Covid. I've recovered from it. It was a non-event but the past two years, it has been made to be the horror of horrors. Did the vaccine help? No. It did little to booster my immune system, except hinder its work against Covid. Now, I might have Covid again because my body wouldn't have learned to fight it off. I've always fought flu well. I'm one to down excessive water at the onset of strep throat which precedes flu and recover from strep throat in one to two days. Covid was less discomforting. I didn't even lose my sense of smell and taste. Now, I am grateful that tomorrow I will be out of quarantine. I am in no hurry to join the larger society but I do appreciate going out.

Post #16

I've skipped several days to recover myself from a constant attack of anxieties and insecurities especially regarding my ability to write in English. I'm constantly battling the desire for comfort and oblivion in sleep, and failing at it terribly. I think without my knowing evil is attacking me with needless thoughts, distractions and emotions. Because I have not been in church for a while to receive the Sacraments, I've made myself vulnerable to all kinds of negative influences and stimuli. I know I am able to write coherently and concisely. My past blog posts prove that. I know I am capable of engaging audiences. I know I can wield English in its proper sentence structure. And I know I possess the vocabulary to express myself. But as I convince myself this, I am continually reminded of my past work in an awful 'wellness company' that had stagnated, and possibly ruined my writing interests. Ambiguity became the purpose of my writings. To not market clearly for dubious products that just cannot be legally sold in most countries. I had to adjust my writing style, to include superlatives and bombastic adjectives, in order to embellish and exaggerate for a conman boss, who despite his empire of dishonest enterprise, has provided jobs for Sabahans, myself included, with exceptional salary, even if it is for the expansion of his con. While working for him, I wasn't improving in skillset but I had job security. The environment killed my spirit. But now, I need job security more than ever. I need God's help. In order to do so, I must get out of this inactive state for God to help me. I cannot lie still for something to happen. Consuming social criticism and making me cynical of society isn't contributing to society. Watching how the theologically-challenged Pope is ruining the church isn't helping me build my faith. Watching crazy liberals getting shit on by JoeyBToonz is not making the world a better place. I have to get out there and act, and move. Praying for humanity to restore sanity as the loud progressives run headlong into their clouded fantasy world is doing something. Everything should begin with a prayer. Action must follow suit. There. I said it. I shouldn't just be writing. Good night.

Post #15

I tried watching Arcane on Netflix again. I couldn't sit through one minute of it. The art style is certainly new but the story--based on the characters of popular mobile game League of Legends--just doesn't hook my ageing soul. I want a classic story with a likeable character in a world that has some semblance of normalcy and modesty, a world shattered by the task the main character has to undergo. This Arcane has a premise of hard upbringing, that created badass characters that defy physics when it comes to physical brawling with involvement of 'magic', of course, and politics, or the evil establishment, I think, I don't care. I think it's the pout and the frown. The ugly useless pouting. Wow. Do the creators think those pouting make their characters look badass? The stupid hair colours of the main characters are just going to invigorate TikTok lunatics with their delusions of reality. Creating pronouns and genders because they've got their arse for brains. Anyway. I'm going to try watching the series again. I still hate the pouting though. Stupid facial expression. And ragtag team of bandits righting the world, definitely falls along the line of 'revolutionary' fantasies.

Post #14

Okay. I am fairly certain at some point of keeping this up, I will become more coherent. It will be easier and I won't sound like I'm garbling random words together. Clarity of mind must come forth from persistence and perseverence. A sleepy head is the only thing keeping me away from producing a thousand words per entry. I finally got out of the house today. It's been weeks since I emerged in public. I drove my sister to do a bit of shopping and it rained. I bought snacks, which were devoured in one day and now I'm regretting not having bought more snacks. Anyway, evening chill is soporific. I'm trying to keep my mind awake after watching the Croods. Ryan Reynold's character is named Guy. Then came is other box office hit character named Guy in Free Guy. I skipped this train of thought and got distracted by the storm that happened in Kentucky. 50 people were killed so far. Devastation all around. The tornadoes are brutal. I hope the people stay strong and pray!

Post #13

For the first time, I feel like I am fully awake while typing an entry here. As the sole reader of this blog, I shall gladly praise myself for a job well done on doing nothing but being sober. Even though I just yawned. Bloody hell it took a moment for me to recall the word yawn. I think oversleeping can slow down parts of your brain and cause you to have premature --- dementia. Torpid, and sluggish, I sounded like those Island Boy twins who shot to fame with their ridiculous hairstyle, absurd song lyrics, and mumbling speech. Their lack of self-awareness is amazing. I think one of them admitted on TikTok he sold his soul for fame and he hasn't been feeling good ever since. Gnarly business. Travis Scott is proof of that with his 'rage' signature performance style. His last concert sacrificed people to the the demonic altar, and now, people have died from his performance. May the rule of the law come down on him hard and strong. Or some fancy saying I can't remember. It's getting late I have to finish my resume. Oh gosh. Oh gosh.

Post #12

It's funny how I always find something annoying to reply on Twitter on my android app, but since my phone is broken I plan to reply it on my pc but always end up not finding anything to say because people are just ignorant and there is no point enlightening them with my perspective. Also, other people have priorities I don't agree with so life is just life. Dangit. I should stop. I can't stay awake any longer.

Post#11

I think it's ll. Ghislane Maxwell court proceeding is apace. Suddenly Mel Gibson trending on Twitter because a Jewish actor wants this 'anti-semite' cancelled. Or at least The Atlantic does. Maybe I don't know. I didn't read the article. Much of mainstream media is trash. I am pushing myself to put a few words in hoping to be coherent. This is like repeating what I've failed to do for many years, journaling while pushing nothing out. There's a local movie coming out produced by a friend, who betrayed her religion to become a pedo follower. I think .who knows where mohd is today. God knows. God knows. Anyway, the movie my friend produced is a piece of pretentios drama bs that runs along the line of arthouse boring flick impressing only people of those race the film was made for. That is it. I hate that shit. I know I know. I'm not punctuating properly and writing coherently. Anyway, I think I'll just head to bed. I hate myself and I'm trying to forget it by sleeping.

Post #10

Okay, I'm keeping my atrocious first draft entry short today. As if I haven't been doing so already. I just read that one of my country's finest English editors has quit his job because he has had enough with the nonsense at work. He writes like a native English speaker, and with his passion for the language, he found it appalling how local 'authors' butcher the language yet still manage to publish a book. He details the 'stupidity' of their thinking through his blog, penning grievances about the woeful state of Malaysian English writings and the horrendous delusional 'writers' behind' them - often, rich Malaysians with money and self-delusion of their story telling abilities. I just revisited the editor's blog for entertainment because his scathing commentaries are amusing. But also depressing. The English publishing industry in Malaysia is atrocious. We are mediocre when it comes to expressing out thoughts in the language, and those who do write well are not 'authoring' books or active in this industry. You only get a glimpse of their prose in book reviews or Facebook posts. Only the rich had the gall to think themselves as worthy authors by paying to publish books that should not see the light of day. We are a land of many languages. And Chinese English accents. I loathe listening to local accents. It's funny how I could always write fluidly after listening to Irish or Scottish people speak. It's the accent I tell you. Anyway, Malaysians are not native English speakers and I wish I can retain most of the vocabulary I read from native writers. I'm getting old. I seem to be losing my train of thoughts too often. My work in the duplicitous 'stem cell' industry had certainly shattered my self-confidence in writing. I must be awake to finish a project or two. Oh, Lord save me.

#editor #writing #Malaysia #Malaysianwriters #authors

Post #9

Might if it's past tense whom if it's object to subject verb something something me if it's also object to a verb. I'm rambling. I just did the New York Times Copy Edit This! Quiz and was mildly exhilarated... my mind is refusing to write anything. I am battling a rising anxiety and my flesh just wants to recoil into a sleeping position and just not think, not form sentences. I thought I could get back into the rhythm of writing bullshit marketing copy about the latest supplements, nutraceuticals but I couldn't process any coherent words. I think my stomach is upset. Pull through woman. Pull through. I feel sick. Well, that's it. Those are just unenlightening details about my day. I'm almost forty and absolutely clueless.

Post #8

The writing habit is forcefully picked up. Picked up is that even the right phrasal verb? I don't know. It's cold. It's 40 minutes past midnight. The Sun is farther from this side of the world now. I am chilly and tired. I am trying to put a few words in after missing a few nights because of those bodily aches. The distention moved from my hips to my back and I knew it was cold air in my body. It was agonising. I couldn't bend my body. I was so done it I prayed to God that I'm ready to check out, my family will get my pension savings and I hope my school loan expires with my demise. But those were just spur of the moment thoughts. I guess. I got the full function of my joints now and I'm slowly trying to get the hang of being around people. Parents not included. They know me. Strangers are... ah... I have to be out there earning. Even though everything seems to be falling apart - reason, common sense, mettle. Food must be earned. Debts must be paid.

Post #7

I tried using the new phone tripod to test drive a video recording and had attached the phone grip wrongly, covering the screen as I tried to record. I thought what other accessories I have to buy to fix this design flaw. It turned out I was an idiot. I can't wait to try the items out in daytime. I've been having issues with my back recently. First I couldn't lift myself off the bed in the morning, and now the pain moved to my shoulders. I googled and thought it might be Vitamin D deficiency, which sounds reasonable. I think I also got too much air in my body. I hope to fart often. About the only time I think farting is necessary. The cold at night has been painful as well. Dad experienced cramps in the morning and so does mum. Although they were still able to get out of bed. I am the weak one it seems. I need to get warm under the covers. As much as I'd like to seize the night awake and reading, the pain I've been experiencing is not allowing this. I shall lie in bed and hope my body does not seized up in the morning again.

Post #6

It's a little past two in the morning. Night time is the only time of the day where I don't have to struggle with heat discomfort. Living in South East Asia can be humid and oppressive. If you're from Florida, you'd know. I'm not going to writing anything much except that I've completed watching Nightflyer and have started watching Daybreak. The former has an unsatisfying ending whilst the latter is inane and hardly fun. I guess I'm too old for these things. Or perhaps these Hollywood storytellers tried to incorporate woke values that they end up distasteful to a sensible audience. Why did Stranger Things became a global phenomenan? Because old series are conservative by nature. Okay I'm out.

Post #5

Time slipped by like a breeze. It's a bad metaphor but I'm not really into thinking right now other than typing. It's 4 minutes to midnight and I've not been very productive today. I think I'm drowning into bouts of anxiety. My cat almost went missing today this morning. After the whole family went looking for him, he came out of the neighbour's territory unable to return to us because of their fences. He came through the gate, couldn't find his way out and dad had to get him back. He wolfed down his breakfast after stepping foot inside after I'm guessing staying outside throughout the night. It was a relief. I had an anxiety attack and begged God to let him come back. I've had two cats missing already, vanished without a trace. They were my favourites. Now the least favourited youngest became the only surviving one and he turned out to be intelligent, and prefers human company. I pray that God lets me keep him for a long time. Imogen Poots is an underrated actress. Sorry, that came out randomly. I watched Black Christmas just now and thought it was full of shit because of its feminist woke theme. Although not all men were depicted as magically malleable sex, the movie does pit them against women as the partriarchal evildoers, with no other motivation than to control the female species. Sigh. I just googled the Rotten Tomatoes ratings. It's bad. Anyway, I haven't got much to say. I'm going to watch Night Flyers. The premise sounds promising.

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