An Offering to Anubis, Ruler of the Dead and Overseer of Balance. He’s among one of the prettiest gods I’ve seen

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@just-a-moon-lover
An Offering to Anubis, Ruler of the Dead and Overseer of Balance. He’s among one of the prettiest gods I’ve seen
A letter to the coyote.
(Text)
Dear Coyote,
I do not blame you for what you do,
I do not blame you for what you are,
You do as you need.
You are as needed.
People want you dead for it.
You know this.
When I am among people,
I think I understand you.
But, when I see you,
Wearing your target as a crown
Playing and loping
Surviving.
I feel the brunt of my humanity
the muscular system
Showed my non-orbit roommate the Icarus short film and she had a couple thoughts about the very end with Heejin and her wings/black eyes:
She either became the Mother and absorbed everyone in the club OR
In order to finally gain her wings and power, the Mother had to die (which means Jinsoul was successful in killing her, but it killed her just the same)
ARTMS Icarus
Franz Kafka
parents will be like "We're good parents! We did our best!" while their child is alone in their room, terrified of footsteps, unable to conceptualize being loved by anyone.
parents will literally ruin a child's life a dozen times over and break any hope of ever being seen as a person instead of a burden and instill them with a lifelong aversion to ever taking up space or making noise or using resources or existing and then be like "i know i wasn't perfect but you must understand i did my best" and demand your forgiveness
thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.
sorry to put your tags on blast on this insane breach containment post I have since muted, but you're right and you should say it.
It is defeatable. Go for the throat.
If you humanize my abuser you have to dehumanize me. Either they were the monster for doing it, or I'm the monster who deserved it.
the society: you will feel so much better when you forgive your abuser, do it for your own sake
the abuser, on top volume: I'M NOT SORRY, it was entirely your fault, and it didn't even happen, and I'll do it again! I'm doing it again right now! I will end you if you ever even say something!!! I only regret not being worse to you because maybe then you'd LEARN TO BEHAVE!!!!!!
society: forgiveness is going to make this all okay, we don't need to address this behaviour. I know I'm right about this
society: and remember, if you don't forgive them you are just as bad as they are! ;)
Most of those iPad babies you're seeing are probably sick of that fucking tablet too.
A lot of parents are very bad at parenting and don't like their children. They don't want to talk to them, be around them or do anything with them. You know, the things kids need and will remember the most once they're grown.
So they train them from an early age that they should always be distracting themselves with something as to not be in the way or annoying the adults.
For me it was books and TV when I was little, and computers later on. That's all I did because it was all I could do without getting yelled at, and it was the closest to human interaction I could get most of the time.
Everyone loves to make fun of & complain about iPad kids but nobody thinks about the struggle of navigating life as an adult when you were forced to spend your entire childhood keeping yourself distracted so your parents didn't have to acknowledge your existence.
Everybody needs that one friend who's better at piracy than you so you can ask for links to tv shows or perhaps movies and they just Have them. They're like genies. This is a priceless gift when unfamiliar links scare you when you try to google Watch free online yourself. Very literally it does not have a price. You aren't paying for it
to be a woman is to yearn your mother's love during a takeoff, never publicly acknowledge people you pray for every night, cry a little more when the moon is new and convince yourself that no one in the world feels as much as you do but that is not true and you are exactly where you are supposed to be, blooming, blossoming, clutching your chest at the end of the world.
i heavily associate with the idea of the few liberating yet non-recurring moments of my youth defining the core value of my life, like yeah i matter because i camped in a tent with my best friends three years ago
to not need anything, to be everything
i'm a green grass, no one has watered me for years