lunafusion

LOVE PLEASE LOVE

[lunarhode]

my humble 20s wishlist:

to chase coastal nights through sunroofs

to sleep with the balcony door open while my friends are in the garden

to hold eye contact on a porch

to waste a summer window-watching

to run a red light when there's a sixteen-year-old me in the passenger seat

to go insane, absolutely batshit crazy in love

to scream my name when they ask who's scared

to be so mesmerised by the sky i don't hear my bones breaking

to grieve days when cars were faster

to share a bed with the lingering presence of last july

to sit in silence with million things to say

to find purpose in losing my mind and in having hair fall on my face

[lunarhode]

maybe we go out 2nite? or maybe you dream 2nite?

[lunarhode]

i miss summer so much it aches. not just the warmth. but the love. the beauty. the cold which was the escape not the horror

[lunarhode]

yellow portugal streets. unarmed sex in the sea. pour me into you. drown in me

[lunarhode]

black women are so beautiful colors look like flavours on them

[lunarhode]

all this empathy is gonna kill me one day

[lunarhode]

platonic relationships are so beautifully important, but nothing beats romantic vulnerability. having somebody who you can touch, feel, openly love. yet somebody outside of you. somebody who's just there to love you because they chose to love you.

[lunarhode]

this is me. i'm a horse in taillights

[lunarhode]

im in 6-inch stilettos, i lost my last baby tooth nine years ago, my age and place at this business dinner suddenly adds up. i thought i'd grow out of running on train tracks and aiming for first loves. but the truth is, i don't think i'll ever stop feeling like a girl instead of a woman.

[lunarhode]

you were thirteen, there was nothing to realise. you felt small because your mother was mad at you, not because of the haunting echo of growing up.

[lunarhode]

i often think of the fact that one of the most permanent thing in human history is love

[lunarhode]

i'm standing and smoking naked on the window. the construction workers on their smoke break are gawking at me hungrily but the power lines above them spell your name. so i finish my joint. bare, displayed and wishing i can tear up in your car's passenger seat once more.

[lunarhode]

if she's happy, you'll know it. she'll talk with food in her mouth and actually look you in the eye while doing it.

[lunarhode]

i'm not soft. i don't mold and melt into your lap. but it wouldn't kill you to try.

[lunarhode]

i deleted all the songs from the playlist but not the playlist itself. and that pretty much sums me up as a person

[lunarhode]

"what's your costume?"

i wear the ghosts of my past lovers on me like house keys, because as much as i am me, i am also a spitting image of every person that has tucked my hair behind my ear.

[lunarhode]

atp my only hope is to fall in love again, childishly and tenderly, like i'm thirteen. love would mold me softer and gentler.