Your Friendly Neighborhood Vegetarian Vampire

Reliving my Twilight phase, this time with 30% less shame

[just-another-twilight-blog]

I hate it when people are like "If the Cullens are so strong/fast/etc, why don't they go around stopping crime and acting as vigilantes??" Like, have you never had the desire to just... have superpowers? Not to be a superhero or even a villain, but just to hang out and be cool as hell while doing it?

[miamignonette]

i have wig blindness. every time ppl are like “omg the wigs in this show are soooooooo bad” i almost never notice it. looks normal enough to me.

[janevolturi]

edward's rant about how she wouldn't have almost died if she got a paper cut around her human friends is so funny it's exactly how my anxiety works

"how the hell did mike newton end up in this conversation" i don't know girl but my brain's telling me he's important!

[janevolturi]

when jacob says bella should be with someone human and she goes “guess i’m stuck with mike newton after all” LEAVE THIS POOR HUMAN BOY ALONE???

[not-bella-swan]

Source

[xostrawberrymlk]

the war plans group chat leak except it’s just Edward, Emmett and Jasper talking abt taking down the Volturi and Emmett accidentally adds Mike Newton

[xostrawberrymlk]

you can’t tell me this isn’t canon, this was 10000% after Jasper almost ate Bella

- he’s brooding in the forest with Edward and Rosalie is glaring at them from her room

- Carlisle is stitching up Bella

& Esme is scrubbing the blood out of the carpet with bleach

- meanwhile Emmett is smoking a cigarette “just for funsies” and Alice decides to join him and they’re both just like “wow… we rly b in situations huh”

[vienguinn]

Phases of Bella Swan but the new-born-vampire was my favorite 💙

[heohl-art]

a little bit off(GoodOmens)topic but I was rewatching Aro's scenes and just wanted to draw something about him✨

• Aro and the young Jane and Alec •

I don't like the movies very much - even though I read the books A LONG time ago - but I always wondered more about how Aro met Jane and Alec. Of course the costumes don't fit (since they met in IX century, I think), but I had fun drawing all of them✨

well, I'll go back to draw Good Omens stuff, bye bye🩷

[janevolturi]

i love that alice is so fed up. she was fed up in the last book too but definitely now she's like FUCK this shit man... i'll make you a vampire because i'm so sick of the complaining

[janevolturi]

i've always been so interested in the fact that bella was so scared of being older than edward. iirc later on she's worried people will think she's a cougar going after a "younger" man if she's older than edward, but the cullens lie about their ages at every new town they go to so i doubt this would be relevant? i'm mainly curious as to where this principle comes from. is it meant to speak to bella's stubbornness and her own insecurity? is it SM's own biases about heterosexual relationships? i just don't get it!

[janevolturi]

When James talks about Alice and says, "A hundred years earlier she would have been burned at the stake for her visions" I think I almost burned the book instead

WHY does Stephenie Meyer just not know the timeline for when burning at the stake for witchcraft is. This is becoming personal

[janevolturi]

This is especially prevalent in Chapter 7 but when Bella boots up her computer and there's a modem SCREECHING to life, plus her having a "favorite search engine" to use, it's really part of the magic of Twilight. How ironic that the story about old, dead people living in the modern era is now extremely dated. It's like nostalgia within nostalgia and I love it

[janevolturi]

one thing that really struck me as i was rereading twilight was the preoccupation with death. like it makes sense obviously, it's a vampire novel, but i just totally blocked it out from my memory? the most jarring was this line in an early chapter about charlie leaving his loaded gun on his belt in the entryway where bella goes, "I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose." LIKE HELLO? i can get it from edward's perspective as he has his whole damnation philosophy (and is also technically dead) but to hear the human teenager say something that bluntly I was like OH WOW

i don't really know what to make of it tbh in like. an analysis sort of way lmao i just feel like my own struggles with mental health and knowing i read this as a kid i can't help but make comparisons and wonder why stephenie meyer would write her protagonist having a thought like that

[janevolturi]

the best part of the baseball game in twilight is the implication from laurent that baseball is actually very commonly played among vampires. “we thought we heard a game” says to me that they recognize the sounds of vampires specifically playing baseball

can you imagine being like nomadic vamps and running into other nomads and being like “omggg we have enough people to play baseball!! :D” like that’s the cutest thing ever

[homunculus-argument]

Reading fantasy again, I've started thinking about how odd it is how in books like that, the non-human races invariably scoff at human frailty and vulnerability, even those that they'll call friends. Like that's mean?? Why would you be a dick to your friend who you know is not capable of as much as you are, and it's not their fault they were born like that. That's mean.

Like consider the opposite: Characters of non-human races treating their human companions like frail little old dogs. Worrying about small wounds being fatal - humans die of small injuries all the time - or being surprised that humans can actually eat salt, even if they can't stomach other spicy rocks. Being amazed that a human friend they haven't seen in 10 years still looks so young, they've hardly aged at all! And when the human tries to explain that they weren't going to just unexpectedly shrivel into a raisin in 10 years, the longer-lifespan friend dismisses this like no, he's seen it happen, you don't see a human for 10 or 20 years and they've shriveled in a blink.

Elves arguing with each other like "you can't take her out there, she will die!" and when the human gets there to ask what they're talking about, they explain to her that the journey will take them through a passage where it's going to be sunny out there. Humans burn in the sun. And she will have to clarify that no, actually, she'll be fine. They fight her about it, until she manages to convince them that it's not like vampires - humans only burn a little bit in the sun, not all the way through. She'll be fine if she just wears a hat.

Meanwhile dwarves are reluctant to allow humans in their mines and cities, not just out of being secretive, but because they know that you cannot bring humans underground, they will go insane if they go too long without seeing the sun. Nobody is entirely sure how long that is, but the general consensus is three days. One time a human tries to explain their dwarf companion that this is not true, there are humans that endure much longer darkness than that. As a matter of fact, in the furthest habited corners of the lands of the Northmen, the winter sun barely rises at all. Humans can survive three weeks of darkness, and not just once, but every single year.

"Then how do they sane?" Asks the dwarf, and just as he does, the conversation gets interrupted by the northland human, who had been eavesdropping, and turns to look at them with an unnerving glint in her colourless grey eyes, grinning while saying

"That's the neat part, we don't."

[katie-huon]

POV: ur a Forks high school teacher forced to meet with the uncannily pretty local cult leader, and his wife, to discuss their kids’ grades🧛‍♀️

Carlisle and Esme at a parent teacher conference. Thank you to my patrons who voted for this concept.

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Twilight premiere w/ fans (November 17, 2008)