Untitled

[justalonelyartist]

I wanna cry ‘til it's gone

I wanna cry out the knives in my back,

the hands that took, the love that lied,

the nights I sat alone, talking to ghosts,

waiting for someone who never arrived.

I wanna cry out this misfit skin,

this feeling of being too much, yet never enough,

too wild to hold, too strange to stay,

always the one that's best alone

always the one that loves you more

A broken thing always trying

to glue my pieces back together

While everyone just walks around me

Asking for your company was too much

Asking for a gentle touch

It's ironic I got broken cause I was too good

To leave untouched

[justalonelyartist]

Written by me, in a lonely app. Wanted to share it here also in case it reasonated with someone.

[5555ilenthill]

[justalonelyartist]

I love art so much, it's always there for me

[justalonelyartist]

You were the love of my life, all I can do is try to move on and convince myself that it's better this way. But I'm always going to love you and be sad you left. But I'm happy you're happy without me and I'm not a problem in your life anymore. I love you forever.

[justalonelyartist]

It hurts so much

[justalonelyartist]

I'm looking for a glass of water I can drown in

[justalonelyartist]

I'm happy she left me, I was like broken glass. And I didn't mean to hurt her but I did, loving me was hurting her. I know she's better off without me. And I have to focus on working on myself and loving myself. I wish she had stayed my friend but I understand, I was asking for too much.

[justalonelyartist]

It's pathetic to see you

Lying there all day

Crying in your penthouse

While some people can't afford to care

It's pathetic how you reach for connection

And how you suffer like a little boy

You're still that kid that was left alone

And the teenager that couldn't fit in

And the young man that performed

Always begging for love

Always begging to be seen

Weird, hurt and crazy

Soft like a daisy

I wanna love you but I resent you

I despise how weak and imperfect you are

Always getting in my way, crumbling

When I'm trying to be a star

You show me how much of a human you are

I love you so much I hate you

[justalonelyartist]

Ashamed of my wounds

Wounds that bleed when we hug

Cuts so deep in my soul

I know no one wants to play

With a broken toy

[justalonelyartist]

We are not the same, young self. You were more optimistic, but I am more strong. You were stubborn, and I don't even wanna begin the race. You were hurting and fighting, but I am tired. You stayed away from drugs, I locked us up with drugs and ignored all the calls. In your loneliness you raised up and became better, in my loneliness I got drunk. I am sorry I failed you, or did you fail me? You got us through, but I have to live with your decision to stay. I know you did your best, and I'm not doing my best. I loved you so much, I still do, in all your imperfect glory. I know you wouldn't love me. I'm sorry, I couldn't be there for you. I let people hurt you, I let you get hurt by me, I let the loves of your life walk away, and I couldn't make you sane. And I'm tired and getting older every day. I hope you can forgive me, I forgive you. I know you were in pain. I don't wanna admit it but I'm in pain also. But I'll keep trying, I still feel your fire inside me. I hope I can wake us up. I've always hated zombies.

[shisasan]

4 February, 1936 Letters to Véra by Vladimir Nabokov

[justalonelyartist]

I miss you and wait for you, looking at the horizon hoping to see you come to me. Get in bed waiting for you to get home. I sit and eat as if I was waiting for you to arrive. And while I look at the moon and wish you coming back to me, I know you never will. I know our happy love is gone. I can see the emptiness in my soul. And I know I can't do anything for it to come back, for you to come back to me. But my darling, how I miss you.

[justalonelyartist]

You and them, took a part of my soul and love. Each of you took a part of me, and left me empty. Now I need to create a new soul, a new heart, a new mind a new body. I'm not upset at you, I'm not who you loved anymore. You took him with you. He could never live without you.

[justalonelyartist]

I feel so lonely, sad and confused. Don't know what to do with the rest of my life. Don't know how to get out of my own way. I've never felt frustrated and hopeless in this way, I do try and just make myself react but it's like I can't. It's like if I was drowning and I try swimming for a bit and then the ocean feels so vast, so strong against me and I feel small and powerless, and just stop swimming. And like this how am I ever gonna get back on my boat?

[justalonelyartist]

The pain of losing you never leaves, it just waits there for me, in bed at night and during the morning. In a cup of coffee and a meal unshared, lonely with me. It lurks and haunts me, and it always will. I can ignore it when I'm at the bar with some other lost dickheads, but at the end of my life I know it's gonna be there with me, looking at me, telling me "You are the one who failed me".