Straight Dreamin'

Joshua. 25. Love, Sex & Death.

[justanotherblanksoul]

This month needs to end.

Like now.

[thegoodvybe]

[thotfrnk]

demolition lovers // my chemical romance 

[justanotherblanksoul]

Because the moment that I saw you again,

I realized that despite the shitty way that it all ended you were it for me Nicole. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before or since. You’re the only person I’ve felt like I could be honest with and feel no need to hide. And I didn’t want to ruin that by manipulating you into doing something that might be bad for you.

But now I just spend my nights at Public Square regretting my actions. And longing for something that I doubt I’ll ever feel again.

[peachypalm]

[rockum]

[justanotherblanksoul]

False alarm.

I was laying in bed tonight. I planned for a relaxing night in, a self care type of night if you will. Until I received a text from a coworker. Well she sent a picture of a letter with my name on it. Nothing else, no explanation. Not even a response to my text asking who it was from. My heart was racing, my immediate thought was that it was from you. I wanted it to be from you. I raced to Work walking as fast as I could to get to that letter that you left me. But, it wasn’t from you. I couldn’t believe that I was really looking forward to what you possibly could have written. It could have said something negative but I still wanted to read it. Could it be so? The fact that you were the only person I told how I have been feeling for the past couple of months since we’ve been in each other’s air space, that I’ve wanted nothing more than for us to work? To be in each other’s embrace just once more. Longing to cherish each and every mini second I was honored with your presence. But all that goes away when I realize all I get to do is go back home and know that everything I’ve ever invisioned, with you being apart of my life, will never be a possibility.

[justanotherblanksoul]

I hope you read this N

There is just something about you that I can’t explain. It’ll remain a mystery to me. I’ve never once in my life felt such a strong hold over someone than I have for you. I’ve been doing well, and not because you haven’t been in my life, no it’s completely different. But it’s important to know that I look at my life and see how much I have progressed in this truly fucked up world that we all live in. But even when I’m at my highest, you continue to float in my mind on a daily basis. I want to make it clear that I never wanted to not give you the chance to talk to me that night. It’s one of the biggest regrets I have. I thought to myself that I couldn’t be apart of your life in the way you might have wanted because I would have been completely selfish. All my mind could think is that I love you and I genuinely saw something beautiful in the distance for both of us. But I was stupid, afraid, and a coward. But to be completely honest I don’t know what would have happened, all I know is that after that night something was wrong with me. I mean for god sakes I couldn’t even look at you when you would come in to visit my store without my entire soul trembling. What in the world has the ability to do that? You might have heard plenty of things that might have been said or tweaked but whenever I heard your name it shut me down. All the inner workings of my being would seize to exist. The anger that everyone thought was towards you was only towards myself. And that is the one thing I truly hate about gossip. Because every time I saw you I would fall apart. My nerves would consume every atom in my body. With half of my daydreaming mind wanting to throw myself at you, getting one last chance to be within your arms to look into your eyes and feel that peace and warmth that I do dearly miss. And the other half of my mind that keeps telling myself to not bother you and leave you in peace. I know it has been visual. And I would hate it every time it happened because all of the questions all of the unknowns that cloud my mind would come rushing back to me. I’m left not knowing what to do, I still don’t. You have been a mystery but still for some unexplainable reason you are always on my mind and I don’t know what to do anymore. Even as I’m writing this I’m shaking. I mean even seeing you on Tuesday night was hard, I kept telling myself not to look but every single time I caved in I would see you look back at me and the battle within my head would start all over again. I tried so hard to be normal, I mean you made it look so easy and I didn’t know how to react to that and I know I was completely obvious about it, not to say that I’m assuming it was easy for you either, but simply to point out what I always admired about you. And for all clarity, I don’t expect anything from this, I just thought you’d want to know what has really been running on in my mind. It’s always been you...

[aliciawarhola]

[8-bitfiction]

[thelonelyplayboy]

[whitebloodocean]

[savagesisu]

[theloversanddriftersclub]

[lazyatlantis]

[sairenji]

[bostnmnr]