💛

I haven't felt myself for a long time.

[justapersonwithabrokenheart]

Do not be absent for long, then come and ask about how I am, Details die with time and stories change.

Mahmoud Darwish

[museofaesthetics]

i want a soft connection. i want to be asked how my day went and if i need anything. i want forehead kisses. i want the back of my hand kissed at red lights. i want to be asked how i’m mentally feeling. i want to hold hands everywhere we go. i want romantic gestures. i want my hair played in at the most unexpected moments. i want silent eye connections that lead to smiles. i want to take random walks.

[always-overthinking-at2am]

hey

....

when you left i didn’t know how i’d feel. i thought my life would be upended for weeks but the pain i just can’t feel it as much. am i numb? am i sad? am i relieved? i miss you. when i’m alone at night, i dream of you. just the two of us-the happy moments. the love in your eyes every time you looked at me. i can still remember the way my heart would skip a beat, but your face is slowly fading from my memory. is this how love is?

[real-demons]

Do you ever wish you had something really bad, like cancer, just to finally know you'll be gone soon, and wouldn't have to think about the future anymore?

I wouldn't have to think about what to do after I finish university.

I wouldn't have to think about the fact that I'll probably never meet someone, get married, have kids etc.

I wouldn't have to feel all the stress and pressure I have now.

I wouldn't have to hear my mother and everyone else compare me to other people who are doing much better in life, than I am.

And I wouldn't have to kill myself directly, which would make it easier for my parents to understand that I'm gone and to let me go.

[abnormall]

i am utterly disappointed in who i have become. i wanted to be someone better, someone important, someone beautiful. but instead i waste space, i waste time and i burden the people i love. this isnt the future i had in mind for myself and i know its too late. i’ll never get that future i dreamed of as a child.

[abnormall]

its so exhausting pretending to be happy, pretending to be okay, pretending that you want to live

[abnormall]

i don’t think i was supposed to live in this world. maybe it was too early for me, maybe i was supposed to be born in a couple of decades. or maybe i shouldn’t have been born at all. but i’m here now, and i’m suffering, and i don’t want to be here. this world, this society, its a nightmare i cant navigate. i’m completely out of touch. i can barely breathe anymore. i don’t think i’m supposed to be here.

[abnormall]

the truth is, i dont have the guts to kiII myself. i want to walk busy roads and dark alleys in the hopes someone will do it for me

[chronicallyinvisible]

sometimes depression is so scary because you stop being able to achieve any sense of fulfilment. a huge part of being human is looking forward to things and having treats, goals, rewards, outcomes that you strive towards. if you don’t have those things it can be really, really hard to find any sense of purpose. having depression is asking yourself what do i want to eat, what do i want to watch, what do i want to play, what do i want to listen to, what do i want to do, what am i looking forward to, what’s driving me to keep going, and having the answer be a resounding ‘nothing’

[real-demons]

All I want is to believe that someone actually cares for me.

I know people do because they tell me.

But I just can't accept it. I can't feel it. I can't believe it 'cause I can't let others get so close.

So it's all up to me. If I don't let them, I might never be able to feel that they care. I might never enjoy a hug. Or the days I spend with the people I love the most, because I won't be able to tell if they even love me back.

I'm so sick of being this way.

m

[futuredeathmeme]

[wxitingforlove]

I wish I could go back to the old days,

without being scared,

without a reason to worry.

when the world wasn't a burden on my shoulders,

when I didn't want to leave this place,

the world,

possibly with death.

when laughing didn't hurt,

because one second in I realized,

this is not who I am,

how I am,

this is not what I'm feeling.

when people would care,

not only ask about "how is school?"

but never

"what is truly going on inside you?

because none of them,

they don't see the storm inside my head,

my chest, my heart,

deep on my soul.

I'm struggling, it's a never ending turmoil.

I can't calm it down,

but it takes over my being.

so much to do but in the end

I see time passing and realize

"oh, you are going to fail it again"

because I can't bring up the motivation, strength or want

to do the things I 'have' to do.

[guiltygirl]

my only talent is appearing calm and emotionless when in reality i am on the brink of death

[real-demons]

Every time my parents look at me, it seems like they see me as a failure and are disappointed why I turned out like this. I love them, and because of that I just wanna die, or at least want to leave this family forever. I can't handle how they look at me, and I'm so afraid of what they might think about me. I just don't want to exist in their lives. It would be so much easier for them without all the struggles and problems I've caused.

[art-notart-blog]

just wanna find the softest grass i can find and lay down in it and look at the sky for a very very very long time

[justapersonwithabrokenheart]

I don't wanna be alone. I don't want to leave him but I can't even bound him.

[earthstory]

evosia

Aurora under the bright moon light! I miss spending time with the Northern Lights in Iceland.