How To Save A Life. | Jay ~ Self Para.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life
"I – I hate this, Jamie,"
Pale skin, slightly bruised here and there. Eyes swollen and red, from tears. Jeans ripped on the knees and the oversized jacket a little dirty.
The eleven-year-old boy couldn't stop shivering. Curled up in a ball, sitting on the snow covered ground with back pressed against one of the cold walls of the school building.
He kept crying, not even looking at his best friends, whose arms were already wrapped around him.
Jamie and Drew. The best friends. Both in the same grade. Both dealing with the same problems. But neither of them told anyone.
Even their parents didn't know. The teachers didn't notice. No one ever mentioned anything. Not even the other students. Classmates ignored, ran away, scared. Real friends, weren't they?
It started normally, just off a few insults. But didn't stop. It got worse and worse by every week, month. Until it lead to this.
Jamie and Drew never fit in. But they just realized it that day.
"I – I hate them, Jamie. I hate them so much," The black haired boy kept mumbling, slowly beginning to shake.
No matter how many times his friend hugged him. No matter how many times he lightly stroked his back. The boy didn't stop shaking. He was at the edge.
They both were, but Jamie didn't cry to show it. It was enough to look at his face. At the bruise, under his eye. At his blonde hair all in mess.
Why did the older students enjoy hurting the younger? How did they manage to get away with everything? How come no one ever noticed?
"I think.. I think it's time to.. you know, tell somebody," The blonde said, his voice cracking. But he wasn't going to cry.
"A– Are you crazy? T– They will.. they will k– kill us.. Y– You heard w– what Tyrell said in the l– locker room t– today. I don't – I don't want him to – " But he stopped, just shaking his head.
***
"You're my best friend, Jamie,"
*** The next day, the blonde entered the school building alone, hoping that he'd find his best friend in the classroom. But after walking in, he realized something. Everyone sat quiet. Everyone looked sad. The teacher looked sad. His eyes were even red. Jamie noticed that all seats were taken. Except Drew's and his own. Drew wasn't there. Drew didn't come. Where was he?
For the rest of the class, no student said a word. Teacher didn't say much either. And Jamie sat there confused. Until everyone walked out and the teacher walked up to him, telling him to stay for a while. And he closed the door after the last person left. And he sat down. And he told him. And the blonde could hear himself screaming. And he cried. And he cried more. And more. And spent many minutes crying. Then his parents came. But he kept crying. And crying. And didn't stop. Not even after his parents took him home. ***
Jay opened his eyes, breathing heavily. The room was dark and surprisingly quiet. He didn't hear any noises outside. No cars, no screams, no loud conversations. Only own breath and heavy heartbeat. And that was enough.
Tears started running down his face, as he sat up, shaking, suddenly feeling cold even though all the windows in the room were closed.
Why? Why this? Why now? Why ever?
With a shaky hand, Jay opened the drawer and wrapped his fingers tightly around the pack of cigarettes he opened after a while.
Pulling out a cigarette, placing it between his lips and finding the lighter took only few seconds, but it felt like forever. With every second he was getting angrier and angrier and wiping the tears with the back of his hand didn't help at all, since always more and more streamed down his face.
It felt terrible to suddenly fall apart.
Taking deep breaths, Jay started slowly choking on the smoke that was now all in the air. His fingers were stiff, but hands kept shaking.
He shut his eyes, tightly.
"Pull yourself together, you fuck.." He hissed between gritted teeth, as the cigarette slipped into his palm, where it got violently crushed and then thrown across the room.
"Fuck. Fuck. Shit. Fucking hell. Motherfucking – " Jay kept wiping the tears off his face, taking deep breaths at the same time, to calm down.
He hated when this happened, even though this was only the second time.
Apparently, memories could haunt you whenever it fit.
And they would probably always cause the same pain, no matter how many years would pass by.
He let himself fall backwards and just stared at the ceiling, holding the lighter between his fingers.
His breath was beginning to slow down and his body finally relaxed a little. The tears were still in his eyes, but he didn't even bother to get a rid of them.
The short attack didn't take his whole energy, but he really wanted to control it right now. To calm down and wish it wouldn't happen again.
He couldn't let everything break himself. In this world, he had to be strong.
Andrew Grey left. Andrew Grey was gone for good.
And even though he still missed him, Jameson Collins wasn't going to do the same.
